‘I lied to you,’ I manage, forcing myself to look at Nina. ‘You know, right?’ I look back at Jakub, who nods. ‘I’m sorry.’
I look around the room, feeling as if my body could crumple on the floor.
Please say something. Please, one of you, say something.
Nina reaches forward and touches my hand.
‘Bea,’ she says softly, ‘we don’t care how you came into our lives. We just care that you’re here. We love you,’ she says, her small hand tightening around mine, ‘that’s what’s important.’
Tears strain at my eyes as I look at Nina’s kind face.
They love me. They don’t care. They still love me.
‘Thank you,’ I manage, as Nina pulls me into the chair next to her.
Sylvia shakes her head.
‘Right,’ she says, ‘are we playing this game of bridge or what?’
Jakub leans forward, takes the brandy off the table and walks towards the kitchen. I feel myself laugh.
‘You only want to play now that you’re good,’ Gus says, shooting Sylvia a smile.
Sylvia picks up the deck of cards and starts to shuffle.
‘I think you’ll find I was always good,’ she says.
‘Well,’ Gus says, ‘I hope someone in your new home knows how to play.’
I see a shadow pass across Sylvia’s face and my heart turns over.
‘Oh,’ I say, looking around the room, ‘I’ve got something for you both.’
I stick my hand in my bag and pull out the printed email. I feel my heart rate quicken as I hand it over. Sylvia starts reading immediately but Gus squints, holding the paper away from his face.
‘Bloody hell, Bea,’ he says, ‘I wish you’d given this to me before I’d had a glass of wine.’
Nina looks at me, her brow furrowed, but I watch Sylvia, waiting for her to finish.
‘Is this true?’ Sylvia says, as her eyes scan the last line.
Gus looks at Sylvia. ‘What?’ he says. ‘What does it say?’
Sylvia looks back at Gus. ‘Bea has found us a home together,’ she says, clasping Gus’s hand in hers. ‘She’s found a home that can take us both, and it’s by the sea. It’s in Cornwall.’
I hear a sharp intake of breath from Nina and I see Gus’s mouth drop.
‘You don’t have to,’ I say quickly, ‘but I’ve spoken to Sam, and he thought it was a good idea. He said that they could all come to stay in the holidays. I know you said that you used to like going there.’
My heart pounds in my chest as Jakub reappears, holding two glasses of brandy.
‘That sounds lovely,’ Nina says. ‘How nice.’
I look at Nina and feel a sudden stab of emotion. I reach over to my bag and pull out a second piece of paper. As I step towards her, Nina meets my eye.
‘Nina,’ I say, ‘I—’
‘I’m not living with you,’ Nina says firmly, narrowing her eyes at me as if I’m about to stuff her in my handbag. ‘You’re too young.’
I raise my eyebrows at her.
‘I know,’ I say, feeling myself laugh, ‘but I thought you might be okay with living near me.’
I hand her the piece of paper. Nina takes it off me dubiously and scrunches up her face so that her eyes resemble two prunes.
Honestly, why doesn’t she ever wear her glasses?
‘It’s for a home in Teddington,’ I say. ‘The lady from the council said they have a space. It’s a nice home that’s just up the road from me, so I can come and visit you all the time and we can get the train to Cornwall,’ I look at Gus and Sylvia, ‘so we can visit.’ I turn back to Nina, feeling my heart pick up its pace. ‘What do you think?’
Nina keeps her eyes fixed to the letter and rests her hand on my arm. She gives me a squeeze and her face breaks into a smile.
‘Now that’s more like it.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I stagger down the garden path, struggling to carry the large box, which tilts towards my shoulder.
Bloody hell, what on earth is in this thing? How can Nina have so much stuff?
Priya sticks her hand out and holds the door open. I grin at her gratefully.
‘Wow!’ She laughs as I drop the box on our living-room floor. ‘Be careful with that. It might be filled with valuables.’
I place my hands on my hips and look back at Jakub, as he fishes another box from his car. As he walks down the drive, a thought flits through my mind.
I don’t want you to go.
Priya follows my gaze.
‘Oh yeah?’ she teases, nudging me. ‘Is there something—’
‘No,’ I say quickly, rolling my eyes at her, ‘we’re just friends.’
Jakub walks through the door and carefully puts the box on the floor. He smiles at me.
‘Only a few more,’ he says, turning and walking straight back out of the door.
I shoot Priya a warning look as I follow him out.
She’d better not say anything to him.
‘Bea?’
I look round and see Joy, leaning out of her door. I walk over, smiling.
‘She’s moving in, then?’ Joy says, peering out at Jakub as he picks up another box.
I shake my head. ‘No,’ I say, ‘but she’s staying with me for a few days while the new home gets her room ready. I’m going to make a big roast tomorrow. Actually,’ I add, ‘you should come and meet Nina. You’ll like her, she’s really nice.’
Joy smiles at me, her eyes gleaming.
‘Oh yes,’ she says. ‘That would be lovely.’
I smile back at Joy and turn to leave.
‘Right,’ I say, ‘well, I’d better—’
‘Oh, Bea,’ Joy says, ‘before you go . . .’
I turn round and, with a jolt, I notice what is in Joy’s hand.
‘. . . you’ve got another letter.’
I look down at the scrawled handwriting, my address written exactly as it has been for the last five weeks. But the stars have gone.
He’s written back.
Why?
Joy looks up at me. ‘Do you want to open it here?’
I glance back at Jakub as he enters my house.
I don’t want him to see it. I don’t want anyone to see it.
Without speaking, Joy steps back and gestures for me to come inside. I follow her into her living room and sink down on to the sofa, my heart thumping.
I don’t know if I want to open this. What is he going to say?
Why is he writing to me?
Slowly, I pull the letter open and as I read, my heart seems to stop.
Dear Bea,
B has just left, she gave me your letter and told me everything. I was so angry at first. I just can’t understand why someone would do something like that. I thought that you might have done it for a joke, or to take the piss or something. But then I read your letter. I don’t know you, and I know that now I never will, but I meant what I said. Your letters kept me afloat in this place and, more than anything, I want to thank you for that. I also want to thank you for looking after Nina. I know things haven’t worked out the way I thought, but a part of me thinks this was how it was supposed to happen. B is grateful to you. She said that she wouldn’t have written back if she’d got that first letter, so I guess that’s something else I have to thank you for. She’s the love of my life.
I hope you’re okay. You’ve helped me a lot over these last few weeks, so let me just say one more thing to help you. If there’s someone in your life that you can’t live without, don’t let them go.
Nathan
I stare at the letter, my heart thumping. I look up at Joy who is staring at me, her eyes thick with worry.
‘What?’ she says. ‘What is it? Are you okay?’
Before I can register my action, I get to my feet and race towards the door. Jakub is standing by the car door, the last box in his hands.
‘This is the last one,’ he says, ‘and then I—’
But his words are lost as I thr
ow my arms around his neck. He stumbles backwards, dropping the box to the floor.
‘Whoa!’ he cries. ‘What is it?’
‘Don’t go,’ I gabble, letting go of him. ‘Stay. Please. I don’t want you to go. I don’t think you should. I think you should stay. I want you to stay—’
I break off, staring into his icy eyes. He looks down at me, and my heart races.
Say something. Please say something. Say anything.
Finally, he reaches down and kisses me, and I realise he doesn’t need to say anything at all.
EPILOGUE
I look down at my phone as a text from Jakub pops up.
Just picking Sylvia and Gus up from the station. Be with you in an hour.
I smile, my heart flipping over.
Jakub didn’t get on his flight.
My heart skips again.
He’s going to stay.
‘Hi, Faye.’ I walk past Faye’s desk, holding my clean mug in my hand. ‘I’m going to make a coffee, would you like one?’
Faye smiles at me. ‘Yes, please,’ she says. ‘I’ll come help in a second.’
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘Oh,’ I turn back to face her, ‘are you still coming on Sunday?’
Faye smiles at me. ‘If that’s okay?’ she says. ‘I can bring something. I know how to make chocolate brownies?’ she offers.
I grin. ‘Sounds perfect,’ I say, as I make my way around the office. I reach Duncan’s door and knock firmly. He only came back to work yesterday, and for the first time since I’ve met him, his bravado has been dropped. He now seems like a real person, rather than a cartoon character. I actually like this Duncan.
‘Hi, Duncan,’ I say, pushing the door open, ‘I’m making a coffee, would you like one?’
Duncan looks up from his computer and grins at me. ‘Oh yes please, Bea,’ he says.
I walk over to his desk and pick up his mug. I notice a framed photo on his desk that I haven’t seen before. His two daughters are perched on the knees of a woman who is wearing big sunglasses, and they are all sitting on a picnic bench.
‘That’s a lovely photo,’ I say, looking down.
Duncan beams at me.
‘How are you?’ I ask, dropping into a chair before I can convince myself otherwise.
Duncan smiles. ‘I’m okay, thank you,’ he says earnestly. ‘I’ve learnt my lesson,’ he adds, pointing his pen at me.
I raise my eyebrows. ‘What’s that?’
‘To talk about things,’ Duncan says, leaning back into his chair and giving me a look. ‘Not to bottle everything up. That there’s no shame . . .’ I feel a flash of emotion run through me and he shoots me a grin. ‘I could go on,’ he says. ‘Oh,’ he adds, as I go to stand up, ‘can I have a decaf?’
I hold his mug up in recognition and smile at Angela as I walk through the office into the kitchen. I’m finishing work an hour early today, to meet Sylvia and Gus. They’ve travelled up from Falmouth to stay with us for the weekend. Nina is staying with Joy, and Jakub is sleeping on the sofa to make room for them. Even Priya, Emma and Margot are coming over tomorrow, and they’ve said that they’re ‘very excited’ at the prospect of my roast, which makes me feel a bit sick. Also, I haven’t really thought about how I’m going to sit ten people around our dining-room table, but I can work that out tomorrow.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and hold it up to my ear.
The important thing is that everyone is going to be there, together. My weird, but perfect, mismatched family.
I hold my phone close to my ear as I hear the click of the call being answered.
‘Hi, Nina.’ I smile into the phone. ‘It’s me.’
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
As always, I need to start by thanking my Super Agent, Sarah Hornsley, who believed in me right from the beginning and continues to champion me fiercely.
I also have an enormous amount of gratitude to my Editor, Jess Whitlum-Cooper, who is as kind as she is brilliant and always understands exactly what I’m trying to do, even if I can’t work it out myself.
Thank you to my publicist, Jenni Leech, and everyone else who is part of the fantastic Headline team. I really appreciate all that you do to make my dream a reality.
Thank you to Gemma and Ziggie, who made me dinner on the countless times that I was too consumed by writing to remember to buy food, and to Kola for helping me bring Jakub to life.
Thank you to Arianna for always believing in me and laughing at my jokes (the good and the bad . . . especially the bad).
Thank you to Chris, for helping me through my writer’s block and making me endless cups of tea.
Thank you to Catherine, Lynn and Ziggy for allowing me to run away to the seaside and making the last chunk of the novel seem much less scary.
Thank you to Lynsey, my ultimate author friend who is always at the other end of a whatsapp when I’m worried I’ve forgotten how to spell my own name.
Thank you to my soul sister Kiera, who always helps me see the funny side of writer’s block in the time it takes to order another coffee.
Thank you to my cheerleaders for their endless support, Claire, Libby, Anna, Laura, James, Maynie, Luke, Andrew, Hayley, Katy, Georgia, Becca, Alice, Emily, Adam, Sharon, Kristie and Jamie.
Thank you to my Grandparents for sparking my imagination.
And finally, thank you to my family for everything you have always done for me. My sister Elle, who keeps me calm, my brothers Tom and Dominic, who always make me laugh, my Dad, who keeps me motivated and my Mum, who never lets anyone feel alone.
If you enjoyed The Accidental Love Letter
then you’ll love The List That Changed My Life . . .
‘One of the most hilarious books I have read for a very long time’
Emma Cooper
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The Accidental Love Letter Page 26