"Yes, but knowing and seeing are two completely different things," I insisted, feeling very exposed from the waist down.
"Alright," Ace said, grudgingly sliding out of me, retrieving his pants, then tossing mine at me. "I'll be right back," he added, walking out of the library and down the hall.
And it was right that moment that I knew for sure there had been no ploy to get me to sleep with him again, to trust him.
Because he'd left me alone.
None of the others seemed to be hanging around.
He was in the bathroom.
I could get right up and walk out the front door.
Maybe I should have done exactly that.
But, instead, I got into my pants, and I walked back toward the kitchen, making us each a cup of coffee.
I heard the bathroom door open, footsteps going toward the library.
And then, a slamming sound followed by the ear-splitting roar of, "Fuck!"
Panic left me frozen there for a moment as I heard the others come running, demanding to know what was going on.
"She's fucking gone," he snapped at them, voice more demonic than human.
It should not have been sexy.
And yet.
Grabbing the cups, I rushed back down the hall, moving into the doorway to find the others assembled, watching Ace as he seemed to almost flicker in and out of the Change.
"I, ah, yeah," I agreed, seeing all their heads turn in my direction. "To get coffee," I added, holding the mugs up.
I would never forget the look I saw cross Ace's face right then. It was the look I'd seen on faces of family members who came rushing in after hearing their loved ones were in some sort of serious accident, when they'd learned it was all going to be okay.
It was raw, undiluted relief.
Because I hadn't left.
Ace's eyes closed as he took several slow, deep breaths, trying to control the Change.
Feeling oddly like that was a private struggle, my gaze slid instead to Minos, whose gaze felt like it was melting through my skin, it was so intense.
I didn't understand the look in his eyes. I wasn't sure I wanted to. But whatever had caused it to be there made him sigh, shake his head, and walk back out of the room.
"So, we are letting the puppy off her leash?" Daemon asked, shooting me a boyish smile.
"We had a talk," Ace said, looking at him. "She is free to move around as she pleases."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Drex snapped, making Ace's brow rise.
Granted, I hadn't known the man long, but I knew him well enough to know that look on his face was not one you wanted shot in your general direction. Drex appeared un-cowed, though.
"Jo," Lenore said, using the name I'd told her to call me by since literally everyone in my life always had. Except for Ace. And even when I was trying to deny my irrational connection to him, a stubborn little part of me only wanted him to use my full name like that. "Why don't we go check on Red?" she suggested, turning to me, giving me wide eyes, a universal 'the guys are being ridiculous' look.
"Yeah," I agreed, almost feeling a little sorry for Drex, but only a little. Since he wanted to keep me caged like an animal.
"So, you and Ace," she said, eyes bright. "Sorry, I know. That's private. I just... I've never gotten to talk to a woman about her relationship."
"Ever?" I asked, turning to face her as we moved into Red's room.
"I, ah, didn't Ace tell you about me?"
"Not really, no."
"I come from an all-female coven," she explained.
"You're a witch?" I asked, almost feeling a little star-struck. I'd been obsessed with witch TV shows and movies as a teenager. A small part of me always wished they were real, and that I would someday learn I was one myself.
"Partly, yeah. I'm a little bit demon now too," she told me. "Since Ly. So I can live on with him," she explained. "Witches are like humans. Mortal. Longer-lived, but mortal. But anyway, if the women wanted children, they went out into the world and got pregnant, but none of us had relationships."
"So you haven't had anyone to talk to about you and Ly?" I asked, feeling sad for her. I had fond memories of all-night talking sessions with friends and even my mother about boys and men I had been dating, or had even gotten serious with. It was an important part of me learning what I did and didn't want, what was and wasn't behavior I wanted in my life. I couldn't imagine never having had that.
"No. Red... Red left before she and I could really connect. It's been just me and the men since," she said, giving me a look that was both warm and frustrated at the same time. And given what I knew about these men, I could totally understand that.
"Okay," I said, moving to the couch, patting the space next to me. "Tell me about you and Ly," I offered.
She launched into it.
And then asked me about what was going on with Ace.
Before we knew it, it was late, and the yelling down below had stopped.
"That would be Drex heading off to his kinky club," Lenore explained when the front door slammed so hard it sounded like it might have cracked. His bike roared to life a moment later. "I should go check with Ly. Make sure no one is bleeding."
"They actually physically fight?"
"Men," she said, rolling her eyes at me.
"That's fair enough," I agreed, smiling as she made her way to the door.
"This was nice," she declared.
"It was," I agreed, getting up and making my way over to Red, going through the motions of checking her over.
"I can't figure out why she hasn't healed," Ace said, making me jump, turning to find him leaning in the doorway.
"She was horribly abused," I reminded him.
"Yes, but we heal quickly. She should have healed days ago."
"Well, she is healing. That's what is important, right? I think I can take some of these stitches out tomorrow. Some of the bigger wounds could probably use another day or two. But she's getting better. Lenore said you were sending for Mar-Mark..." I could see his name in my head—Marceaus—but couldn't get it right.
"Mar-kay-us," he sounded out for me again. "Yeah. He's older than the rest of us. He might know why she isn't healing. And what is going on with her..." he trailed off, waving at his head.
"Do you think they will find him?"
"I don't think so," he admitted, sounding defeated. "At least not anytime soon. And by the time they do, who knows what will be left?" he said, giving Red a sad look.
"You never know when people will just... snap out of it. It happens all the time. Even sometimes people who the doctors say will never wake up. And, I mean, she isn't even in a coma or anything. Don't get discouraged."
"We're not people, Josephine," he reminded me.
"All the more reason to expect she will pull through. You're not as weak as us puny mortals," I told him, giving him a playful smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"She all set?"
"Until tomorrow morning, yeah," I said. I was going to see if Lenore and I could manage some sort of sponge bath now that she was, by and large, healed.
"Good. Come on," he said, holding an arm out.
"Come where?" I asked, feeling the tiredness hanging around me. I didn't want to learn anything else that night. I just wanted to sleep.
"To bed," he clarified.
"I sleep there," I reminded him, waving toward my couch. I'd long since gotten over neatly folding my blanket on top of my pillow. It still looked the same as it had when I'd crawled out of it earlier.
"Not anymore," he told me, moving further into the hall as I approached.
"Is this so you can keep an eye on me, but give me the illusion of freedom?" I asked, suspicious by nature, and still not entirely sure how much I could trust a creature from hell.
"Josephine, you're going to need to learn to trust me," he told me, sighing a bit, forcing some of the tension out of his jaw. "But I don't want you in my bed because I want to keep an eye on you. I want you in my bed so you're comfortable.
And so I can wake you up and fuck you first thing in the morning," he told me, his voice a dark promise that made my sex clench hard.
"Well," I said, swallowing hard, following him into the hall. "In that case," I told him, smiling as he dropped an arm down over my shoulders, and led me into his room.
He made good on his promises, too.
I slept like a baby nestled up on his chest.
And I woke up to his hands already starting to stoke a little fire in my body.
A girl could get used to it.
And I did. Whether that was smart or not. Whether that meant I genuinely did have some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or something similar. Whether or not it was good for my mortal soul.
I got used to it.
To him.
To the strange and wonderful new dynamic growing between us.
Then, one night just about a week later, everything changed.
Chapter Fourteen
Ace
I woke up every morning in a panic, sure she would be gone.
I didn't know what to think about it.
Judging by the sideways looks Ly and Minos kept sending me, they thought I'd Claimed her. But there hadn't been any signs of that.
So I didn't understand the feelings coursing through me. True to form, I'd spent many hours trying to convince myself that I was only concerned about her leaving because she now possessed all of our secrets. I hadn't left anything out. At times, when I'd clearly been trying to tiptoe around certain topics, Josephine had asked more questions until she got it all out of me.
While I did have concerns about a human with our secrets, I also knew myself well enough at this point to know it wasn't just that. It was personal.
I went to sleep with her draped over me like a blanket, lending a warmth I'd been seeking for ages, but never found. The contentedness that flooded my chest as I fell asleep was a high that I looked forward to every day. And the idea of that no longer being a factor in my life—her no longer being a part of my life—left me with a skittering heartbeat and a churning stomach.
I'd grown attached to her.
A goddamn human.
Whose entire lifespan would pass in a blink for me.
I wasn't sure what it was about her, either.
Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, she was intelligent. Yes, I found her curiosity and eagerness to learn sexier than I could have anticipated. Yes, I admired her dedication in caring for Red even when she was no longer being forced to.
So, sure, it must have been all those things mixed together. But there was something else as well, something I couldn't put a finger on, something I didn't have words for. It was something other and that otherness was what had me so captivated.
I didn't understand it.
In all my years, I'd never felt anything for the humans aside from a general annoyance at their close-mindedness or a sort of detached interest in their evolution through more technological times.
Sure, I felt attraction toward the women I'd slept with over the years. But it was a fleeting thing. An itch that needed scratching.
Even sex with Josephine felt new and, at times, overwhelming. It was something I found myself craving in inopportune moments. I kept expecting to get my fill, to be over it, but it didn't seem to happen. If anything, I just kept wanting it—wanting her—more.
"Why do you always give me that look?" Josephine asked, coming in the bedroom door, holding two mugs of coffee.
I didn't need to ask her what the look was. I could feel it. It was pure and utter relief. Still, I needed to ask, to know if she was gleaning what I'd been feeling.
"What look?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "Like you're shocked or something like that."
"Must be because the woman who nearly died of exposure trying to get away from me is now bringing me coffee."
"Yes, well, clearly, I need to have an intense psychological evaluation," she said, giving me a soft smile as she handed me the mug, climbing over me to curl up at my side and drink her coffee.
"You're not crazy," I insisted, words urgent. Because I needed that to be true. I needed her warmth toward me to be genuine.
Why?
I had no idea.
But it mattered.
"No," she agreed, resting her head on my chest for a second. "I'm not crazy. This situation is, but I'm not." She paused there, something weighing heavy in the air.
"What is it?" I asked, my arm going around her shoulder, fingers sifting through her hair.
"My old life," she started, trying to think of a way to phrase it.
"Do you want to go back to it?" I asked, wondering if she heard the dread I so clearly recognized in my voice.
"No. Well, sort of, but mostly no. I mean, if I'm not welcome—"
"You're welcome," I cut her off. "For as long as you want to be here," I added.
I knew that one day she would be gone. She'd want things I couldn't give her. Normalcy. Weddings and babies and growing old together.
But I tried not to let myself focus on those thoughts too much.
"Okay," she agreed, letting out a slow breath.
"So what 'sort of' is there then?" I asked.
"I have things," she told me. "Well, I guess, I used to have things. In my apartment. If no one has broken in and taken them. Or my landlord hasn't cleared the place."
"You want your shit."
"Yes," she said, smiling over at me. "I want my shit. Red's clothes are, uhm, cold." Which was a nice way of saying that Red liked to show some skin. "And Lenore's are..." She was struggling to find a nice thing to say about all the floor-length skirts.
"Amish," I supplied.
"Something like that," she agreed. "I like, you know, pants."
"Skirts have easier access," I said, sliding my finger up under the one she'd slipped on to go get us coffee, slipping between her thighs, teasing up her pussy.
"That's true," she agreed, sighing as my finger found her clit. "Still," she tried to insist even as her legs spread wider for me, giving me room to thrust two fingers lazily inside her.
"How about you wear skirts and nothing at all for a little while longer, then we can take the long-ass trip out there to get your shit?" I suggested, my cock already rock-solid as her walls pulled my fingers in tighter.
"Mmm," she said, letting me take her coffee cup away, putting it on the nightstand. "Okay," she agreed, hips rocking rhythmically to my thrusts.
"If you had pants on," I said, grabbing her, yanking her up on my lap where her wet pussy slid over my hard cock, "this wouldn't be as easy," I told her, rocking against her cleft as my free hand went into the nightstand.
"You make a good point," she agreed as I slipped on the condom.
"Always so greedy for my cock," I hissed as her hips lifted, and she slid down on my cock as soon as I was done.
"Mmhm," she agreed, already rocking, already driving herself up.
I couldn't claim to have ever felt the urge to slow down sex before, to make it more than what it was, but as she started to get harder and faster, I grabbed her, rolling her under me, and taking over.
Slow.
Measured.
I'd never bought into that shit about sex being about the journey as much as the destination. Sex was always to come. That was the whole point. But, somehow, as the confusion turned to desire, to an almost raw vulnerability on her face, all that mattered was the moment, our bodies moving together, her legs wrapping around my waist, her soft sighs, her arms encircling my neck, pulling me down to press our lips together.
I didn't give a damn about an orgasm right then.
I just wanted to be close to her, to be inside of her, to be a part of her.
"Ace..." she whimpered, her hips wriggling restlessly.
But in that moment, I was too selfish to speed it up for her, to give her what she needed most.
I'd never been quite so in the moment before, so in-tune with someone. I noticed every hitch to her breath, every flex of her fingers on
my shoulders, the way her thigh muscles started to shake, the way her voice went from higher-pitched whimpers to lower, deeper moans.
Her walls tightened hard around me, letting me know she wasn't going to wait any longer.
My lips pulled from hers as my hand reached back to grab hers, pinning it to the mattress above her head, holding as her back arched, as her mouth opened in a silent moan, as her walls started a deep throbbing around me.
She came hard and deep and long, milking my orgasm out of me too, leaving me a boneless mass on top of her for a long moment as I struggled to pull myself back together.
"What's the matter?" she asked as I finally found the strength to push back up, and look down at her.
"Nothing's the matter," I said, brows furrowing.
Her hand rose, fingertip tracing over my temple. "You didn't change at all," she told me, voice concerned. Like she was worried, uncertain. Like she possibly thought it may have been a sign that I was losing interest in her.
She wanted answers, but I didn't have any. I didn't know how to tell her that while the primal side of me might not have responded this once, that it hadn't impacted me any less.
"I don't know," I admitted. "Best guess is the Change is more of a primal response," I told her. "And that wasn't primal. That was something different," I said, rolling to my side, pulling her onto hers.
"Oh," she said, jaw softening, tension leaving her body. "That makes sense."
"I'll be right back," I told her, getting out of bed, making my way to the bathroom.
"Hey, Ace?" she called.
"Yeah?"
"Can we go out today?" she asked.
I tried to pretend the 'we' didn't make this strange sensation tingle through my chest, but there was also no denying it.
"Any place in mind?" I called, hoping my voice came out less impacted than I felt.
"Just out," she said, sounding light, easy. "I've been cooped up forever," she added.
And, to her, it probably had felt like that. To me, it seemed like no time at all.
"We can do that," I agreed, coming back out to find her in my spot, drinking her coffee.
"I can see the sights. Now that I know where I am," she added, rolling her eyes at me. "Oh, can we get food?"
The Healer (Seven Sins MC Book 2) Page 14