Kitty then shows me the kitchen, which is just a gas bottle with a camp stove attached, next to a shelf of plates. There is no sink, and no fridge.
“Do you eat out a lot?” I ask.
She nods. “Mostly at work. Many Thai people spend all their time at work. I think it’s maybe different where you come from?”
I laugh. “It’s pretty much the same there. But I can understand why you’d want to spend all your time at work here when you have such a fun workplace. Back home, no one really wants to stay at the office—we just feel obligated.”
“Oh, I love the perfumery. It is my favourite place. If I hadn’t met Daniel, I would probably be doing bad things now.”
I don’t want to ask what kind of bad things she means. The photo of the woman at the massage parlour with Aaron flits through my mind.
“How did you meet him?” I ask, curious.
“Seven years ago, my father died, and my mother could no longer look after me and my sisters. We had to beg on streets for money, and we were often sick and hungry. One day, a couple of years ago, Daniel walked past and gave me food. He wanted to know why I was on streets so I tell him about my family. That’s when he offered me job. I earn good money for Thai person. He also helped two of my sisters find work cleaning at nearby hotel, because he has friend there. Now I live here with one sister and the others still live with my mother, but they don’t have to beg anymore. I give them money when I have some left over.”
My heart swells for Daniel. Damn the man! Why does he have to be so bloody nice?
Kitty looks at her watch. “I have to go now. Will you be OK?”
“I will. And thanks again.”
Kitty waves and leaves.
I let out a big breath and head for my bedroom, where I flop down on the mattress.
Now what?
I stare at the blank wall in front of me. I’m finally alone. But my hangover is still roaring, and I feel like I’d see my temples pulsing if I looked in the mirror.
I scramble around in my bag for some Panadol and a spare bottle of water.
And then I close my eyes and try to think through the haze.
So much has happened these past few weeks. I was pickpocketed. I met Daniel. I discovered my boyfriend was spying on me and was ultimately quite a violent and unhinged person. I met Rosie, the closest friend I’ve had in a long time. I was abandoned by my sister—more than once…and then I betrayed the trust of the only person who has ever been nice to me without wanting something in return.
I open one of my bags and retrieve the perfume Daniel made for me. I spray a little in the air in front of my face and inhale deeply.
The memory hits me with the exact same force it did the other day. Maybe even stronger, because I don’t have any external distractions.
I can almost taste the strawberry ice cream I was eating, see the weeping willows above our heads swaying gently in the breeze, hear my mum’s tinkly laughter—a sound I don’t think I’ve heard since that day.
But the best thing about that moment was how happy and free I felt. Like everything was right in the world. My parents were doing what they were supposed to, making me feel safe and protected. I didn’t yet have the burden of worrying about my sister, or working at a stressful job for a demanding boss. Would it ever be possible to feel that way again?
That’s a question I know the answer to, because I felt it when I first kissed Daniel, and throughout the night we spent together. He makes me feel like I did when I was a child. Supported. Loved.
I put the perfume bottle back in my bag and come to a realisation. I am responsible for what happens in my life, and I just need to start doing things that will set me on the path to regaining that feeling of peace.
For a start, I can’t let people keep controlling me all the time. Mia is the worst. I know she’s my sister, but I can’t let her treat me like some toy she can abandon whenever she gets bored. I’m going to have to be firmer. And clearer with my dissatisfaction in future. I wonder where she is right now. Still travelling around on a boat off the coast of Koh Phan Ngan with a bunch of strangers? Or has she gone back to Australia? While part of me wants to check that she’s OK, I know I’m going to have to cut back and let her live her life. She’s not going to learn from her mistakes if I’m constantly stepping in to rescue her. She needs to see the consequences of her actions, particularly with the way she treats me.
I mentally vow to wait until she contacts me before I talk to her again, and even then, if all she wants is a favour, I will do my best to only help her to the extent that it doesn’t hurt me.
With that conclusion reached, my thoughts drift to Aaron. Well, that one’s easy. He’s gone from my life, and there is no way I am ever going to go back to him.
I smile at the ferocity with which I am determined to never let him affect me again. As long as he doesn’t try to contact me, Aaron is the least of my worries.
Someone who I do have to consider though, is Keith…my wacky boss back in Australia. After the events of the past few days, I’ve realised that working for him is not healthy. I can’t go back to a co-dependent relationship with my boss. I’m not sure what I’ll do for a job yet, but I know that working with Keith is not it.
My headache has subsided slightly, and it smells like someone has set up a food stall out the front of Kitty’s house. I venture out and discover someone selling sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaves, and another person selling a fried coconut bun type dessert. I buy one of each and retreat into the living area to eat. I am going to miss proper Thai food when I go home.
I check the time and see that Rosie probably would have woken up by now. Lovely, but manipulative Rosie. I know she meant well, but she basically forced me to stay in Thailand twice because she thought she knew what was best for me.
I definitely need to take control of that relationship.
The first thing I do after eating is write her an email, telling her that if we are going to stay friends, she needs to stop messing with my life, even if she thinks it’s for my own good. I also ask her to send me Nick’s details, because I want to ask him something.
The next thing I do is open my internet banking. I transfer the money Keith lent me back to him (don’t ask me how I know his account details—it just goes to show how unhealthy our relationship was). I then email him to let him know I won’t be returning to the office, and to expect the money I’ve sent. I know I should really serve out my notice, but I worry my self-control won’t last if I do. I hope he doesn’t try to sue me or anything. As a consolation, I offer to remotely assist Bethany with any handover stuff and help find a replacement for her.
I’m feeling a bit better already. Obviously I still have to follow through with these convictions, but the psychological lightening of the load on my shoulders proves I’m heading in the right direction.
But then I think of Daniel, and my mood sinks again. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. The kindest and most beautiful man I’ve ever met, and the one I’ve probably hurt the most.
I need to write him a letter, which I’ll ask Kitty to pass on to him when I leave. Despite how he makes me feel, or perhaps because of it, I don’t want to cause him any more harm. He deserves someone who isn’t going to break his trust the second he reveals something personal.
I find a piece of paper and pen in my bag and start composing my thoughts.
Dear Daniel…
Jeez. This is hard. I don’t know what to say. Well, I do, but I can’t tell him I love him in the same sentence that I say I’m going to leave him.
Thank you for…
Screw it. The letter can wait. I’ve just mentally dealt with four other people in my life. I deserve a break.
I go back to my temporary bedroom and lie down. I need a nap after all that hard work.
THIRTY
I don’t do much for the rest of the day. After my nap, I continue to hang out at Kitty’s, catching up on the news back home on my phone and buying more sticky rice and buns from th
e street stall for a late lunch. I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about the future.
Kitty gets home just after six.
“How was work?” I ask her.
“It was OK,” she says.
“Did, um, anyone mention me?” I hate myself for sounding so needy.
She smiles proudly. “Yes, but I didn’t tell them you were here!”
It occurs to me that Kitty only thought I was asking because I didn’t want people to find out where I was, when in fact I just wanted to know if Daniel or Rosie had enquired after my wellbeing. I’m so pitiful.
“Thanks, Kitty. So was it Daniel who said something?” I try to sound casual, but my voice comes out a bit hoarse.
“Well, he didn’t ask me if I saw you or anything, because he didn’t have reason to think that. But I did hear him and Rosie talk about you. Rosie not happy and Daniel look sad.”
“What did they say exactly?”
“Rosie say she going to email you. Daniel say nothing after Rosie tell him she not see you.”
He said nothing? What does that mean? Is he still mad at me? If I was in his position, I wouldn’t blame him. It just confirms that writing a letter is the best way to go. I’ll finish it tonight and then give it to Kitty in the morning before she goes to work. Then I’ll go and check into a hotel near the airport or something. I’ll have to tell Kitty my flight is tomorrow so she doesn’t insist on me staying another night. That reminds me, I need to find out what time my flight actually is on Sunday.
I navigate to the airline’s website on my phone and log on. I shake my head when I think about how Rosie changed my flight without telling me. She’s so crazy.
But when I open my account, it doesn’t show anything.
“What the hell?” I screech, scaring Kitty.
“What’s wrong?” she asks worriedly.
“Bloody Rosie!”
“Is Rosie OK?”
“She won’t be when I’m done with her!”
“What she do?”
“She cancelled my flight, that’s what she did! I can’t believe this! She said she rescheduled it for Sunday, but instead she just cancelled everything! What is her problem?”
Kitty looks concerned.
“You have no flight?”
“No!” I look through my account history and see that the original flight has definitely been cancelled, but there are no other transactions. I quickly scan availability for new flights.
“I’m going to kill her!” I say as I see the prices for one way trips back to Brisbane.
“You book new flight?” Kitty asks.
“I can’t afford to book a new one! I just quit my job and I don’t exactly have seven hundred dollars lying around!”
“Oh.”
I breathe out angrily through my nose. “I’ll have to go see her.”
“You want me to come?”
“No, it’s OK. But thank you.”
“You back soon? We go for dinner somewhere?”
“That’s very sweet of you, Kitty, but you should probably eat without me. I don’t know how long I’ll be, and I’ve lost my appetite.”
“OK. I see you later.”
I pick up my handbag and march out the door. Rosie is not going to know what hit her.
***
I arrive back at the familiar white three-storey building and stalk up the stairs, not having the patience to wait for the elevator. When I get to Rosie’s apartment, I bash on the door, almost as aggressively as Aaron did the other day.
The comparison gives me pause, and a little of my anger fades. But not much.
Rosie opens the door, not looking at all surprised. “So…you figured it out, huh?”
I push my way into her apartment and slam the door behind me.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Rosie? Why do you keep doing this? I thought we’d moved past your constant tricks and manipulation.”
“I know, I know. But to be fair, this is not a new trick. It’s just the last one is slightly different than how I explained it.”
“Don’t try and wiggle out of this with semantics! What’s wrong with you? Normal people don’t do stuff like that to their friends.”
She smiles wryly. “I never said I was normal. But yes, I know why you’re mad. I’m also a bit upset that you were just going to leave and not say goodbye.”
“Don’t try and turn this around and make me feel bad!” I slap my hand against a nearby wall. “I’m sick of everyone manipulating me all the time…you…Mia…Aaron…Keith. I finally made some decisions today and I actually felt good about taking control. And then you went and ruined it by trying to take it off me again!”
She sits down on the couch and buries her face in her hands. “I’m sorry. I really am. I did mean to schedule you a new flight, but then I wasn’t sure if another couple of days would have been long enough for you to sort everything out with Daniel, and still leave enough time for you to enjoy each other’s company afterwards. I would have told you about the flight today, only you already disappeared!”
“And do you know why I left? Because I was sick of you interfering in my life! It’s never going to change if I keep letting people like you mess with it.”
She looks crestfallen. “I really am sorry. It was dumb. And I know I already promised I wouldn’t do it again, but I really do mean it this time.”
I frown. I hate seeing Rosie sad. And I know she was only trying to help, but I feel like I need to stand my ground.
“Did you see my email?”
“No. What did it say?”
“Just that if we were going to be friends, you couldn’t pull shit like this anymore. But then you did. So I don’t know what to do.”
“Just give me one more chance,” she says, her face hopeful.
“I’ll think about it. Can I have Nick’s details?”
She looks at me suspiciously. “How come?”
“I want to ask him to look into Maynard’s perfumery.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, sure.” She gestures to her laptop. “They’re stored on the desktop on there.”
“I also can’t afford to book a flight home.”
She seems to lose all fight. “My credit card is in my purse. Just use that to pay.”
Damn it. The woman is infuriating.
“Rosie…”
“It’s OK. I know. I went too far.”
I open Rosie’s laptop and locate Nick’s information. I copy it into my phone and then open the airline’s website again.
And stop.
Should I book for tomorrow? That would make the most sense. But the flight departs at 9am. That means I’d have to leave Kitty’s at around 6am. Is that doable? I suppose, technically, I could leave anytime from now.
It just seems kind of sudden. I guess I thought I wouldn’t be leaving until Sunday, so to leave tomorrow doesn’t feel right. But then what would be the point of staying another day? I was just going to go and check into another hotel on my own.
And then I wonder why I’m dithering so much. Is it because of Rosie? Or Daniel? Because I really don’t want to leave both of them like this?
No. I’ve decided. I’m going to leave tomorrow. I can’t cope with the constant mood swings from all the drama.
I book my flight for the morning and use Rosie’s credit card to pay it for it. I only feel a tiny bit bad, because she did essentially steal money from me when she cancelled my other flight.
“Alright, I’m going now. Thanks for Nick’s details. And your credit card. I’m flying out in the morning.”
She nods, not looking at me. “OK.”
I stand up and head to the door. I feel awful.
Just as I’m about to leave, she leaps up and races over, wrapping me in a big hug. I hug her back, tears welling up.
“For what it’s worth, I do think you’re one of the coolest chicks ever,” she says.
“You are too,” I whisper.
“So we’re friends again?”
I sigh. “We d
idn’t stop being friends.”
“Can I come visit you in Australia?”
“Of course you can.”
She pulls back and smiles. “I really will, you know.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“Email me. I promise to write often, even though I hate computers.”
I laugh. “I am honoured.” I start slowly walking towards the door. “I’m staying at Kitty’s so I should probably head back.”
She raises an eyebrow. “How did you end up at Kitty’s?”
“I have no idea. But it was good. I had a lot of time to process stuff while she was at work.”
“I’m glad. Alright, well, I guess I’ll talk to you soon.”
“You will. Bye, Rosie.” I wave as I leave.
I head back to Kitty’s feeling simultaneously happy and sad. Nutty Rosie.
***
I’m just approaching Kitty’s building when I see a tall figure leaving. It’s dark, so it takes a moment for me to realise who it is.
But he knows who I am.
Daniel steps into the light under a streetlamp, his face confused. “Chloe! What are you doing here?”
I’m tempted to run away, but instead I hold my ground.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I start wondering if Rosie somehow managed to contact him the second I left, but he’s not acting like he expected to see me.
One side of his mouth twitches. “I asked you first.”
He doesn’t seem upset, which I take as a positive sign. Everything suddenly comes out in a rush.
“I’m so, so sorry, Daniel. I know you must hate me for breaking your trust and risking you being treated like a science experiment in some top secret government agency, but I really didn’t think anyone would believe me or Rosie if we tried to tell anyone…not that we would have!” I quickly clarify. “And then I was just going to get out of everyone’s way and leave, but then Kitty saw me and she made me stay at her place, and I…”
“Shh…it’s OK.” He takes a few steps towards me, and my pulse starts racing. “I’m not mad. I admit I was caught off guard when Rosie first said something, but if you had stuck around long enough, I would have told you I forgave you.”
Perfume Therapy Page 24