by Ella James
“Oh, I tried too,” she chimes in. “After he told me on the mountain. And he left.” I hear the pain in her voice as she remembers the night I hurt her so badly by leaving her with Jamie. Leaving just like Elvie did. It’s on my long list of regrets.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her again now, because I need to. Every time. If there’s an audience or not.
“I don’t blame you, B. You know I don’t.” She strokes my cheek. “Our situation is unusual,” she says to Brian. She smiles. “I guess that’s why you came to me about it.”
He nods. “But what I like the best is how you are together. Not the facts, but you, the people. Characters sell movies. Love stories like this one… People see it as redeeming.”
“It is.” I’m surprised by my own quiet words. I didn’t plan to speak. It happens more since I woke up. I’ll just…say something. Doc says it’s a good thing. That I’m moving further from my old self and becoming more like a civilian.
“Tell me more about that,” Brian says.
I arch my brows and kind of want to kick myself. But I know what he wants. I think I know what he needs more of. I decide to give it to him so he’ll leave and I can fuck my fiancé.
“I did a lot of bad things. Some for the job, and other things because I fucked up as an individual. Like the hit and run.”
“Which you’ve paid a fine for.”
I nod. “And I’ll be doing some community service there before the summer ends.”
A gentle summer breeze drifts through the trees, and I feel Gwenna’s hair against my shoulder. For a second, my eyes close. It’s so damn strange. That this is my life.
I felt so damn dirty when I tracked Gwen down those months ago. So wrecked and ruined. Like I would never, I could never, be clean again. Every time she smiles at me, I feel like I’ve been baptized. Her love cleanses my soul, restores me, in a way I had no fucking clue was possible.
“I have a perfect life,” I tell the man in front of us. I look at Gwen. “One that I don’t deserve. But you can’t earn somebody’s love. It’s given or it isn’t love to start with. I don’t know why this happened to Gwen and me. If it was God or something like that. But it’s one of hell of a coincidence.” I smile at Gwen. “We’re going to spend our lives together, and this—it’s just the start. It’s just the first chapter of our story,” I say, giving Brian a funny look, then smiling back at Gwen. I can’t help it. “After the movie is over, our story will still be going. Just the two of us.”
And when Brian goes, I show her what I mean. Pig and I walk to her house, still holding hands, and when I get her in the door, I toss her on the couch and peel her clothes off— shirt, then bra, sucking her nipples, wriggling her jean shorts down. All she’s wearing is a small, white thong. I drag it off and part her legs, tasting her sweetness.
Gwenna moans and pulls my hair. Inside my jeans, my cock throbs.
“Mmmm,” I rumble as I stroke her up and down her slit, and ease a finger into her heat. “So warm and wet…”
“I’ve been waiting!” She laughs. The sound is husky. Beautiful.
She wraps her legs around my neck, lifting herself up to my face, and my balls tighten. “Jesus, woman… I’m not gonna last…”
“Oh yes, you are…” She tugs my hair and moans as I kiss between her lips and slide another finger into her. “You’re going to last forever.” She laughs, rocking against my face again. “I need you, too…please!”
I flick her clit with my tongue. “What can I do for you, Piglet?”
“Your cock…” She pouts. “Put it inside me!”
Leaving my fingers in her, sucking on her clit, I take my jeans down with my right hand, then jerk myself off while I smirk down at Gwen. “You want the whole thing?”
“Yes… Oh, please,” she moans as I swirl my head between her lips. “Please…Bear.”
She spreads her legs wider. I draw my fingers out and tease my way from her clit down to where she wants it. “Please… right there.” I work my way inside, just the tip, and Gwenna groans so loud I feel it in my balls.
She pushes against me, trying to take me deeper. I pull out a little.
“Barrett!”
I grin. “Okay.” I curl down over her and kiss her chest, and then I shove inside, a little rough—the way she wants it.
“OHHHH!”
“Like that?”
“Oh God… Again!”
I draw myself out, shuddering at how fucking tight and hot and good she feels. I push back in.
“Ahhhh… Love you, Barrett.”
I hold her gaze. “You more.”
She grunts—and arches up against me. I know what she’s asking for. I stretch out just a little, ignoring the ache in my back as I roll my tongue over her nipple. Gwenna likes it when I bite them, as I fuck her—hard.
I can tell when she’s getting close, because she gets so slick and stops saying my name, just panting as I fill her up and leave her empty, gasping as I fill her up and moaning when I leave. I fucking love the way her body starts to shake. My muscles tighten and I feel myself get even fucking harder. Pleasure spins out from my cock all down my legs, making my lower belly tighten, too. It’s like a roller coaster. I hold onto her.
“Love you, Piglet…”
“Love you.”
Our moans blend together in a symphony of need, and this time, like some others, we come at the same moment. Afterwards, we lie there in each other’s arms and hold on tight.
And Gwenna cries.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Happy.” She smiles as she wipes her tears. “Tell me you are too.”
“Oh fuck, there’s no one happier than me.”
“You love me lots.”
“And lots.”
“Forever? And ever?” She giggles.
“And ever, and ever, and ever. With everything I have, and everything I am.”
“Can we write our own vows?” she murmurs as her sleepy eyes sag shut.
“I’m all yours, Piglet. Tell me what you need, I make it happen.”
She yawns, smiling. Her hand reaches for my face and cups my scratchy cheek.
“Just you.”
I top it off with dinner while she sleeps. Some of her favorite wine—a strict half glass, and none for me—and then I go into the laundry room and bring out a gardenia. I put it in the center of the table before setting plates for us. I guess she’s tired from the day, because she sleeps while I serve chicken parm and asparagus for both of us, and even find and light a pair of candles.
When she wakes up, she smiles until her eyes are wet. “This was really sweet.”
I shrug.
“You’re really sweet.” She kisses my chin, pulling on my neck so I lean down. We share a slow kiss.
“For you,” I whisper.
“Mine.”
We eat in near silence, just smiling, while the small white flowers look down on us.
“You look hot in my apron.”
It says Hers, and it’s right. This is right. No matter how hard the road here was—for both of us—the destination is where we belonged.
That night, as we fall asleep under the twinkle stars, I send up a thank you for our long, sad, perfect fucking story.
Gwen and Barrett. Pig and Bear.
There are almost no dreams now: only our two warm bodies, curled together underneath the rainbow.
THE END
Afterword
Murder is the second standalone in my Sinful Secrets Series, where each story is inspired by a sin and centered around a life-altering secret.
The first sin, Sloth, will be 99 cents for the month of June, $4 cheaper than its usual list price. Here’s the blurb!
Dear A. –
I am writing to express my gratitude for your gift. There are no sufficient words, but please accept my sincerest thank you.
Yours,
R.
She writes me back.
I didn’t expect that.
She tells me she’s a lover
of chicken pizza and video games, a hot sorority girl with the nickname Sloth. She wants to know something about me in return. She says I owe her.
This is how she saves my life. She doesn’t even know it. We’ve never even seen each other. But I need a reason. Just one reason to continue. She becomes mine.
The anonymity is good. She doesn’t need to know me, but I need her kindness. We both live our lives: a letter here, a post card there. For three years, I escape my demons. And then one day I’m pulled back in.
I’ve resigned myself to what I know is coming. Until the girl I’m spanking gives her safe word: Sloth.
And then the lie I’m living starts to unravel.
BUY SLOTH HERE
I’m planning to write Covet next. It wasn’t next in my lineup, but it’s pushed its way to the forefront of my mind because the characters are amazing. You can add Covet to your Goodreads bookshelf and see the beautiful cover by Mae I Design here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25867615-covet
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I’m so excited to feature the first chapter from Flawlessly Broken, a contemporary romance standalone from the very talented new author Anna Paige. Flawlessly Broken is free if you have Kindle Unlimited. Trust me—it’s well worth your time.
FLAWLESSLY BROKEN
SPENCE
ONE
Two weeks.
What the hell was I going to do with two solid weeks?
I sat behind my sleek, cherry desk, looking over the neatly-stacked files in my outbox. My inbox stood empty on the other side. Mocking me. How was it possible that only a few months ago I had more on my proverbial plate than I could handle, and now I had nothing? Absolutely nothing.
Brant — one of my business partners and a close friend for many years — strolled in with a smile on his face, not a care in the world. He took a handful of chocolates from the bowl on my desk before plopping himself into the soft leather chair across from me. "It's just about quitting time isn't it, Spence? You ready to start your vacation?"
I tapped a pen on my blotter and glanced at the clock, not feeling nearly as chipper as my friend. "I wouldn't call it a vacation. A delay, yes. An inconvenience? Absolutely. This 'vacation' is throwing off the entire build schedule."
He let out a soft chuckle and shook his head, crunching on the last of the candy-coated chocolates before leaning forward. "Come on, man. It's not your fault the owner didn't have his shit together in time. It's only two weeks, Spence, and the build will still finish on time despite the delays. We've never missed a deadline." His brows rose a bit as he nodded toward the pen in my hand. "You're too wound up. You need to let loose for a while, enjoy the time away from the office. Go out and do something that would make Clay proud."
Clay — my best friend since I was ten and our other partner — was away working on a solo project for the next couple of months. Well, not entirely solo. His fiancé, Ali, was working on the project with him. They had until the end of spring to get everything done, as the amusement park that had contracted their artistic skills would be opening at the beginning of June.
Before Clay's transformation into a one-woman man, he was quite the party boy and manwhore. Now, he only had eyes for Ali. I was glad that he'd finally found some happiness. He deserved it after all he'd been through.
I shook my head at Brant, laughing for the first time all day. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to assume the recently-vacated role of manwhore. Look what happened to Clay. He had crazies coming out of the woodwork."
"Yeah, but he had a lot of damn fun for a while there and still found Ali despite all that."
"So, you think I'll find the love of my life by first nailing anything in a four-inch heel? I don't think it usually works that way."
The leather creaked as Brant shifted in the chair, placing his elbows on his knees, hands clasped between them. "I'm not saying to sleep around. I'm saying go out and have some damn fun. Have a few drinks, dance with a beautiful stranger, whatever gets your heart pumping. You spend too much time behind this desk." He slapped the desktop for emphasis. "It's like you're chained to it or something. There's more to life than what goes on behind these walls."
I narrowed my gaze, looking him in the eye. "Where the hell did that come from? You just said more in five minutes than you usually do in a week. I thought you were the quiet one around here, so what gives?" His sheepish look confirmed my suspicions. "Fucking Clay put you up to this, didn't he?"
His silence was all the answer I needed.
Tap tap tap. The pen was hitting the blotter in rapid succession now. "So, he asked you to what? Babysit me?"
"No. He just knew you wouldn't want to take the time off, even if you would be the only one in the office. He asked me to help get you out of here for a while. That's all. You've been busting your ass, juggling more than any one person should. He just thought you needed some time to relax."
"And you agree?"
He shrugged. "I think he has a point. You do take on more than you should and that puts a lot of stress on you."
"That's my business, not his and not yours. I'm a grown-ass man." I was trying not to snap at him. Brant was just the middleman in this and getting pissed off at him wouldn't help the situation.
His eyes met mine and he nodded. "I know you don't like what Clay did but just think about it from his point of view."
"How so?" I scowled indignantly.
"He and I spend all of our time in the field, on job sites, getting our hands dirty. At the end of the day, we get to go home and wash all that away. When you go home you're still taking calls from clients, working on scheduling, balancing the books... it never stops for you. You're on the job 24/7 and we both feel like shit because there's nothing we can do to help. I think that's what Clay was trying to do, help. He wanted to make sure you got some down time because, more than anyone else, you deserve it."
I dropped the pen onto the desk with a groan. "How the hell am I supposed to be mad now?"
Brant just smiled.
On the way home, with a seemingly endless expanse of free time stretching out before me like blacktop surrounded by barren field, I called Clay.
He picked up before the second ring, as if he'd anticipated the call. "Hey, Spence. I was just about to pick up the phone to call you. You must be clairvoyant."
I harrumphed softly, the last of my annoyance slipping away. I still had to bust his balls, though. "You sure you weren't going to call Brant instead? Maybe get an update on operation 'Spencer needs a life'?"
There was laughter in his voice when he replied. "It was all his idea, I swear."
"Yeah, right."
He tried again. "Okay, it was Ali. You know how women are." Ali's voice rang out in the background but I didn't quite catch what she said. I did, however, hear a thud and Clay's startled 'ouch'. Served him right. "Okay, okay. It was all me. I'm a terrible friend for wanting you to enjoy your vacation. God, what an asshole I am."
"It's okay. I'm well aware that you're an asshole. At least you mean well. Usually."
His voice was finally serious when he said, "So, I'm forgiven?"
"Yeah, fucker, you're forgiven. Now why were you about to call me? Ali's there with you, so I know you're not in need of bail money."
He blew out a breath and hesitated.
Oh shit.
He never did that pause-for-effect thing. Hated it. This must be bad.
&n
bsp; The soft rustling of a hand covering the phone was followed by a moment of quiet discussion, I assumed with Ali. Clay's voice finally came back on the line, softer and unsure. "I kind of need a favor. Well, we both do."
"What kind of favor?"
"You remember Talia, right?"
I remembered Talia. She was Ali's best friend and — before Ali moved in with Clay — roommate. We'd met for the first time in Denson the night of the fire that had nearly killed Ali. Talia had been a wreck and I had done what I could to keep her spirits up between trips to visit Ali in the ICU. "Of course I remember her."
More hesitation, then, "I told you that she owns a restaurant in D.C., right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, there was some sort of issue there a couple days ago, something with a restaurant critic, and she hasn't been into work since. She won't answer her phone, not even for Ali. No one knows where she is or what exactly happened. All we know is that she texted the manager and told her to take over until further notice. She's been totally off the grid ever since."
From what I remembered about Talia, she wasn't the type to shirk her responsibilities. Something serious had to have happened. But I wasn't sure what Clay was asking of me. "Okay, I'm assuming you want my help, right? What do you need me to do? You want me to try and track her credit cards or something?" I knew my way around a computer, had a few tricks up my sleeve that could help locate her.
He sounded relieved. "You can try the cards but your best bet is her phone. Ali says she carries it with her at all times in case of an emergency at the restaurant."
I told him to text me the number and I'd call as soon as I got home and checked it out.
Half an hour later I had him back on the line. "So, I tracked the number you gave me and got a location." I rattled off the street address that coincided with the red dot on my computer screen.