by Evan Dara
And guess what: you’ve got one right here. Really, please feel free to call me any time if there’s anything I can do to help. Doll, you can come to me for *an*ything: we can talk, we can cry, we can just waste time, I may even tell you about the beautiful little daybook I bought for you yesterday.
OK?
Availably yours,
T
Still, every day, I look for him in the papers.
—’Ve taken up voodoo.
—Yeah?
—Yeah, Mr. Stan. I got this little rubber dog-turd, ’n I’ve been sticking it with corkboard pins two, three times a day.
—Good.
—Maybe he’ll feel it. Maybe the skunk’ll end up in some hospital somewhere.
—Yeah.
—Yep, doin’ voodoo on the doodoo.
—Save a pin for me.
—So when’d he say the stinktub left?
—He didn’t, actually. He just got a call, ’n Mr. Loser was already back in England. Said there was a lot of echo on the line.
—Shit. So now do we go to the Consulate?
—Yeah. I suppose. ’Ll get on it.
—So why’d he call him?
—Same old, you know. Wondering if Borah has any contacts there.
—Fuck.
—But Borah was good. He was quick. He found out the scummer’s using a Dutch charge card. Or debit card or something. Told him there might be an outstanding phone expense, ’n could he—
—Oh man.
—Yeah. Sucks. Lot of fucking work.
—Yeah. So for the moment, y’know, I propose that we pretty much can it with Borah, at least til we get new data.
—Yeah.
—And he accepted it fine. He was OK.
—Good.
—’N he said he’d get in touch if he heard anything, or if he had any ideas. ’N then said he’d be sending his invoice.
—There you go. Hoo-la-la.
—But we’ll take care of it, OK? I, uh, I brought him in, ’n it’ll be under the charge of Phil Ochs/Treaty.
—Yeah? Thanks.
—Your watchdogs gonna be OK with that?
—I’ll handle it. I’ll speak to them.
—Don’t want to cost you your job there, buddy.
—Shouldn’t be an issue.
—’N the other small bit of news is that I pulled a favor over at UC.
—Yeah?
—I know somebody there, a bud from high school, he’s pretty high in administrative, ’n I figured since the skunk is gone I might have a shot, that it wouldn’t automatically be dismissed.
—’N?
—’N I just found out the obvious. The guy’s a fuckup. Bad grades ’n huge absenteeism all through the—
—Tell me something I couldn’t have told you.
—But no contact data, I assume.
—Sorr—
—Oh man.
—Y’know, really, we are hunting a rodent here, a real scuzz-clump no-account whisker-sniffer—
—Yeah—
—I mean this guy is a nothing, a null set, a zero with a thousand faces, ’n that’s why we’re having trouble grabbing him. Who could find a fucking nothing-shit like that?
—Yeah.
—But it’s gonna happen, y’know. It will—
—Absolutely.
—’N so like there’s a gorgeous wind happening today, I felt it coming in after lunch, ’n that there’s the sound of my folder shutting closed ’cause I for one am planning to—
—You going out?
—Oh yeah. Perfect day for it. There’s this spot out by the Kennison memorial, y’know it?, ’n in a good north-northwest comin’ off the lake it is just—
—So what you sending up?
—I got my Houtermans in the car. Man, that rig is really a sky-deer, like really good for late-afternoony kinda runs—
—Come on, you don’t buy that stuff about sun angles ’n refractory subthermals ’n—
—Sure do. Sure as shit do.
—But there is like no basis for those Thompson coefficients—
—Except for my direct experience with like rise rates ’n banking patterns ’n—
Z:
Please contact me when you get a chance.
The Chicago Remainder
Darlin’—
Lovely. Luscious. Now I know why they invented the telephone.
Thank you.
And again: congrats on the wonderful eight-week review.
So: you remember what I wrote to you maybe two, three weeks ago? (Can send you a copy if you don’t.) All that stuff about the idealization of people and such? Well, after we spoke last night, I realized that isn’t at all the case. Honestly, the surge you bring to my solar plexus is not caused by some abstract response to something eternal, or some highly effective pre-existing formula that mechanically turns the spigots. In fact, it’s a concrete, wholly appropriate reaction to the specifics of what you think and what you say and, ultimately, what you are. Dat’s right, you.
When you talked of running to sunset Thursday night and just catching its last seeps of purple swirl, I was there with you, and equally as thrilled. You spoke about crying one morning before work when the toaster got stuck and the clock didn’t: baby, I know! The details, the stories somehow go from being something you lived to something you are, not your experiences but your extensions. And this extended you somehow, magically, incarnates me, perhaps because you went to the effort of expressing it. Sharing is creating. Mutuality is the story of a single being. You exhibit you-ness, and thereby make me-ness. If you know what I mean.
Or am I getting too heavy again?
Yours,
T
Presence. Pure, invincible
Z—
Fabio blueberries at the market. Ripe, fragrant thoughts of you everywhere.
TK
Z:
So, OK, but I can help you through this, OK? I can. I will be there for you 100%. That’s 100%. How can it hurt? Everyone dreams of having someone like that. And here you *do* have it! OK? You just have to let me in.
Your T
Dearest Z:
I apologize for what I said last night. Moment of what: weakness? Unconscious resentment of my weakness? But, dearest Z, I resent nothing with you, nothing. And of course I didn’t mean it. I never intended to hurt you, to offend you. I did not mean it, and I am sorry.
xo
8/17: Was he even here?
8/17: Was he anywhere?
Dear Editor:
It’s me.
And it’s me bearing poop.
Serious poop.
I think I’m moving in on the heart of the Selwyn-Philips connection. According to several sources, it now seems certain that Selwyn was hired and sent to Chicago by Philips in Holland, as part of a plan to land a series of shall-we-say worthwhile contracts, mostly to provide nighttime illumination for buildings and monuments around town.
Over the past ten years, Philips has developed, and had great success with, an exterior lighting technology called Amber View, a complex network of halogen lamps and titanium-alloy reflectors that make buildings look as if they’re being lit from inside, that the golden radiance enveloping the structure is emanating from within. It is, in fact, quite striking. The technique was developed by Philips’ public-works division in Eindhoven, and is already in use throughout Europe. Most notably, Amber View is much beloved in Paris, where it has transformed nocturnal perceptions of the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, Les Invalides and other tourist mainstays.
Philips has long sought to bring the process to North America, and heard about a still-unannounced initiative, called Chicago Lives at Night, backed by the Convention and Tourism Bureau here, that Philips hoped could serve as the beachhead. Current CCTB plans see the Field Museum, the Merchandise Mart, the Auditorium Building and the Merc as candidates for a PM image upgrade. Inevitably, Philips saw stars, and recruited Selwyn (and, one source says, trained him) as their mole about town.
Unconsciously, his glow would advertise Philips’ promised own, that sort of thing.
And it now seems likely that Selwyn’s consultancy group, that late venture, was launched as an additional walnut in the shell game. Calls to the Philips bigwig, Crain, have still gone unreturned, and it appears that investigator Darden has closed his business. His office is now no more than an answering service. Calls to the CCTB have brought no answers at all.
Sources tell me that Selwyn could often be seen surveying monuments and major buildings around town, something a little tough to verify.
But by now, no doubt, you can see where I’m going: Editor, mine, I need more time. Alas, and let me throw in some sorrow, too, I do not think I’ll be able to make Monday’s filing deadline. I trust that you sense this already. That, already, you know. So I don’t feel a need to push too hard.
But I doubt this is the first time you’ve had to deal with a journalist burrowing into a story so nuanced, and significant, that it demands to be done right, to take whatever form it must. One of the givens of our livelihood, non?
Very truly yours,
Tracy
I waited for your call until 3AM (my time). Come on, Z: you must get home at some hour.
So here’s one idea: why don’t you get a cell phone? They aren’t that expensive now, and, in fact, I’ll help you pay for it, if you like. But think about this, OK? Think about it.
Yes, Turner. Of course. But greater. Greater than Ted Turner.
Do you *not* want to be in touch?
I cut my hair, OK? I just went to like this random salon and did it. Heard the guy’s suggestion and said go ahead. It’s angly now. Hope you like it.
There’s a story about the eyeliner woman that I see from my window that I’d so like to share with you.
And I thought I was missing you before.
Z:
Why are you doing this to me?
T
Why are you doing this
Sel – Selwyn … ? Is that you … ?
No, I want to come see you. I mean, I have to, *we* have to. It’s the only way. It’ll be good for us, for both of us, and we should, OK? We should.
Z—
Z, Please:
We must meet.
I know we can work this out, once we’re on more concrete terms. There’s so much there, so much worth fighting for. So please: just give me a chance. Let me, let us, make this happen.
Please, Z: let me come to you. We must, finally, meet.
Z
My Dear Editor:
Hey: a funny footnote to the Philips-illumination thing:
Just found out that, among the reasons why Philips’ outside-the-building lighting technique is so in demand is that, surprise, it can pull in revenue. In Paris, it seems, national property like the Eiffel Tower is considered to be owned by everyone, so photos can be taken and reproductions (calendars, books, post cards, etc.) made without royalties having to be paid. But when the structure is gussied up (for example, in its Amber best lightshow), the resulting image is considered a kind of creative work and therefore becomes protectable, so copying privileges can be licensed out, sometimes for fees as handsome as the pictures themselves. (But when is that not the case: What’s free in daylight costs by night.)
That said, I must say this: I’m sorry to say I’ve had something of a reversal here (nothing critical), and so I’m wondering if, well, I might be able to receive the 8/20 payment even though, and again I apologize, I’ll be a little late in filing. I know this isn’t professional, that I shouldn’t ask, that it is not done. But I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t urgent, and so I’d really appreciate it if, maybe, you could consider it. Again, I’m sorry. But please, Touvil, a friend of mine has had something really unfortunate happen, and it’s urgent that I go, I have to get on a plane. Again, I know that my personal affairs are of no concern here, that they shouldn’t be brought in and dumped on your desk, but I’m doing it because I hope that, well, maybe, just maybe that you’ll, well, that you’ll
Sincerely And put and go and shit go on and shit put on and go to and between all and hup and empty eyes and empty and and (and) and::::
Swoops the Distance swoops the distance swoops the
Distance swoops the distance swoops the
Distance swoops the distance swoops the
Distance swoops the distance barren
Distance barren distance barren distance barren distance barren
Distance barren distance barren distance barren distance up to
Roadways up to cornfields up to roadways up to cornfields up to
Roadways up to cornfields up to roadways up to cornfields up to
Growing things & growing things are growing things & growing unto
Townships unto carparks unto streetlamps unto showglass unto
Townships unto carparks unto streetlamps unto showglass unto
Moving things are moving things are
Moving things are moving things are
Gliding stepping toting hauling
Gliding stepping toting hauling
Hubcaps fanning totebags weighting
Hubcaps fan & tote-a-way &
Ties & ties & ties & ties &
Ties to bind to Ties in line to
Parallel & parallel & parallel & parallel &
Parallels & parallels & parallels in parallels &
Leading speeding to conduct to
Leading speeding to conduct to
Rushing huffing & world-twisting
Rushing huffing & world-twisting
Forward moving forward moving
Forward moving forward unto
What must be to What must be to
What must be to What must be to
Pushing through the service door & moving down the corridor &
Pushing through the service door & moving down the corridor &
Then a right & then a right &
Then a right & then a right &
Find the stairway find the stairway
Find the hallway to the stair &
Then a right & then a right &
Then a right & then a right &
Down a floor to down a floor to
Ripple out & ripple forth &
Sweep out to the misty distance
Sweep out to the misty distance
Track the sun with your whir shadow
Track the sun with your whir shadow
Rectangles & silhouettes &
Rectangles & silhouettes &
Whir across the dry grass weed fields
Whir across the dry grass weed fields
Lines & ties &
Lines & ties to
Townships unto carparks unto streetlamps unto showglass unto
Townships unto carparks unto fencing unto signboards unto
Summer slant sun cold conditioned Summer slant sun cold conditioned
Nozzled air & chainmail curtains Nozzled air & chainmail curtains
Tilting chairs unmoving armrests Tilting chairs unmoving armrests
Put your arm on your division Rest your arm on your division
Sense now sense this act of love & Is this too an act of love &
Parallel & parallel &
Parallel & parallel &
Ties untwisted making motion
Ties untwisted permit motion
Glide above them slide above them
Glide above them fly above them
Point your arm in a direction
Point unto your destination
Where you must & Where it must &
Where you must & Where it must &
Where you must & Where it must &
Necessary destination
Ride the ties & Ride the ties &
Tracking tracking tracking tracking
Tracking tracking tracking tracking
Tramway tracking Tramway tracking
Tramway tracking Tramway passing
Tramway the tramway the
Tramway the tramway the
&nb
sp; Sunlight & shadow &
Sunlight & shadow &
Tramway tracking tramway coursing
Tramway tracking whisking passing
Ghostly & ghostly & ghostly & ghastly &
Ghostly & ghostly & ghastly & ghastly &
Stepping & shopping & toting & hauling &
Jolting & jolting & Jolting & Jolting &
Hide, me, &, hide, me, &
Hide, me, &, hide, me, &
Sunlight & shadow & sunlight & shadow &
Draping & dragging & drooping & dragging &
Fall back & fall back &
Fall away fall away
It, can, not, this, can, not
Ghostly & ghostly & ghostly & ghastly &
Mustn’t & couldn’t & Didn’t & ghastly &
Mustn’t & couldn’t & Didn’t & didn’t &
Shouldn’t & didn’t & Mustn’t & couldn’t &
Mustn’t & couldn’t & mustn’t & shouldn’t &
Mustn’t & couldn’t & mustn’t & shouldn’t &
WHUP WHUP WHUP & WHUP WHUP WHUP & WHUP WHUP WHUP & Whistle HOWL
Blackbirds fields & trees & tractors
Birds sweep fields & weeds & fact’ries
Skirts of earth & glinting shadows
Witch hat roofs & rounded towers
Skirts of earth & shifting shadows
Silo roofs & rounded into
Windows into windows into
Windows in through windows into
Moving tooling moving tooling
Moving tooling moving tooling
Rumbling furling hurling spooling
Rumbling furling hurling spooling
Then a gentling then a gentling
Then the cars are gently gentling
Then a braking Making braking
All the autoMobiles braking
Soon amassing all amassing
Soon the cars are all condensing
Men are stepping Men are wending
Men are hustling Huddling looking
To the ground & to the ground &
To the ground & on the ground &
All commotion all commotion
Hustling looking At no motion
Looking looking looking looking