A Protector's Touch: A New Adult College Romance & Romantic Suspense Novel
Page 5
“Do you have any siblings?” I ask while trying to delicately wrangle a bean sprout and noodle at the same time.
“I have a younger sister—she’s still in high school at a private school out of the country. I’m sure she’ll be home for her senior year.”
I don’t pry into the reasons why she’s away, and I try not to assume.
“She’s a badass,” he says proudly. “You should see one of her basketball games. She’s better than I ever was, better than most of the guys on my team when I played in high school.”
“I’d love to go. It’s a winter sport, right?” Yes, please tell me we will still be having this much fun come winter.
“Yeah, we can do some skiing or sledding when you come,” Shan suggests, snacking on a bean sprout. “It’s sick up there in the winter. We get great snow.”
“I haven’t skied in forever, but I did enjoy snowboarding in high school. Might have been on my butt quite a bit.” I laugh, the chopsticks in my hand making various circles in my bowl. “But I’d do it again.”
“Great!” he exclaims before raising his glass to cheers with mine. “I bet you are adorable in snow gear. You look good in everything.”
Now I’m blushing.
“I have to admit,” Shan adds, perhaps noticing that I am too stunned to speak, “I haven’t been able to stop staring at you tonight. I hope that hasn’t been too obvious or creepy. It was hard not to do the same thing when you weren’t available, but I managed when I could. Even took a lacrosse ball in the arm a couple of times, watching you run. But I have to admit, getting to know you, and not just wishing I did, has made you even more beautiful to me.”
“I—I feel the same way,” I stutter before taking a deep, settling breath. “Any time you passed me in class or when I saw you at lacrosse practice, I couldn’t help but watch you. I’ve been drawn to you, and it’s even stronger now.”
Shan’s eyes light up at my admissions. “I only want to be with you, April, and I hope you feel the same way. And if you are ever worried about trusting me or thinking I would ever do anything like that jackass Derrick, I promise I will never hurt you,” he says with a finger tap on the table. “You know that my mom went through something terrible, and I don’t want you to ever feel anything close to that ever again, and I will never let anything happen to you.”
Gulp
“I knew before we met that you were kind and just a good guy. Word gets around, and I’m glad no one snatched you up before I got my head on straight.” How I wish I would have gotten it on right sooner. “Knowing what I do now about your family, I can’t express how sorry I am. If I can ever help, in any way, please let me know. Don’t ever feel like you can’t talk about it with me just because of my past. I want to be here for you as much as you have promised to be for me.”
A sexy smile passes over Shan’s lips. Derrick would have never expressed himself like this to me, and it makes the man across from me even more tempting. Shan reaches his hands across the table to take mine. I shiver when his thumb passes over my knuckles.
“I’m glad it’s just you and me tonight,” he says, interlacing our fingers. “It’s been nice hanging out with our friends, and you have some great ones. Nia’s funny and I can tell she has your back, but I admit I am enjoying this time alone to really get to know you.”
“Me too,” I reply while moving my fingers against his. I don’t ever want to let go. “Nia likes you, and so do I.”
“I like you too. I’ve never felt like this before. You’re really amazing, April. I hope you know that.”
The waiter ambles over to us, fidgeting and looking around the room before flicking the long bangs of his black hair from his eyes. “Do you have the green Jeep in the parking lot?”
And there goes my stomach, straight down to my knees.
“Yes. Did I leave my lights on or something?” Shan is already preparing to rise to his feet before looking out the windows. His jaw muscles are pulsing tightly, like a mesmerizing blinking light. He senses, as well as I do, that it isn’t his lights. The ghost of Derrick, popping up in corporeal form this time, begins to rear its ugly head.
Grabbing my hand and keeping me close, he leads me to the door. His presence brings my tremors down a tad, and it isn’t dominating, nor does it make me feel weak. We are more of a united front as we push open the door, both of us sweeping our gazes in all directions just in case. Prepared as I thought I was for what I’d see, my visions weren’t even close to what has happened to Shan’s car. Orange and yellow paint has been poured, tossed, splattered all over the dark green tint of the older SUV. The colors blend together and look like flowing of lava, with the dark paint of the car resembling charred earth.
“Oh God, Shan, I am so sorry. This is all my fault.” It had to be Derrick. He has been silent for weeks, but I got a text from an unknown number yesterday and all it said was slut. He knew about Shan and me, and even though he had been seeing plenty of other girls while, and since, we dated, he is still trying to control my life.
“This isn’t your fault. We don’t even know who did it. It could just be a prank from CU. These are their colors, and we play them again soon. They’re just trying to get into my head.”
My eyes meet his, and he gives me a half smile, one that is mirrored in the wistfulness of my own, both of us wishing we could live a life together without the baggage of the past.
“Even if it was him, I’m sure they have cameras, and we can get this sorted out. Plus”—he smiles wider this time—“I’ve got insurance. Mom keeps bugging me about using my, I mean, the other car…” Darkness flickers across his face. “Just can’t manage to get inside of it again.”
My fingers touch his arm, his shoulder, and then his face. He turns to me, bending down to lessen the four inches of space between us. As if the paint, a dripping sunset, is on fire, its flame licks along my cheeks, down my neck, before traveling down to my stomach. When our lips open in tandem and touch, I release a primitive moan before we deepen the kiss. With tips of tongues touching and hands gripping each other tighter, we become lost in our first kiss. If Derrick plans to drive us apart, Shan’s reaction foils that plan.
A nagging worry attempts to interrupt our moment, telling me this may be a goodbye kiss, one hell of one, but one nonetheless. I push back that doomsday nagger and press myself against him even more than before.
Now it’s his turn to moan. Goodbye kiss, meet hello kiss.
“Uber?”
“Uber,” I agree.
“I can call the insurance guy in the car, but I need to snap a few pictures first. Then, to my house?”
I nod and dislodge myself from his embrace before clicking open the app to order the car.
My eyes spy a new text message notification, and dread delivers bile up my throat and into my mouth. Tapping the message app slowly, I am relieved to see the note from Nia. A quick confirmation back to her that we can study tomorrow night is followed by a berating chuckle for being so on edge. Shan is probably right; the rivalry between our schools isn’t unheard of, and he’s one of the starters kicking ass this year for our team. Cheap shot, yes. Guess we’ll have to see what the cameras show.
I walk around the front of the building, looking at the cameras, when our waiter comes out to check on things, too.
“Boss says there’s no footage and sent me out here to look.”
I gaze at the small lens of the camera closer and realize the reflection of it is minimal, not one that the glass camera eye should beam back from the lights shining in the darkness. This one has been painted black. These guys have thought of everything. I bet they had masks on as well.
The employee moves off to tell Shan the not-so-good news, so my mind travels, allowing a visual story to unfold. Maybe it’s a fantasy just to cover up that gnawing feeling that Derrick is behind everything, but who cares. The vision of college kids in yellow masks, spray paint, and a rivalry target brings me peace. Delusional peace, maybe, but peace, damn it.
This all sounds thrilling, but also frightening. Aside from some hand-holding and that kiss, we’ve been extremely PG—hell, G even. Even those dang princess kisses! I have enjoyed our slowly building momentum to this night, a night when something so wrong is transforming into the next step in our relationship. I don’t know what it means, and where it will go, but I am ready. I’ve even started wearing underwear that doesn’t look athletic or made for comfort and comfort alone—satin and lace, and even with a matching bra. Don’t get me wrong; I like the way I feel in them just as much as the thought of what Shan will be thinking seeing them, which is the way it’s supposed to be, right? Just part of making sure I’m the person I was BD (that’s before Derrick): feminine and confident. The way Derrick used to touch me and treat me was totally opposite once he shed his snakeskin and showed his true self. Then began the rabid jealousy if I dressed in a way he thought was meant to draw attention to myself.
“Who were you talking to dressed like that? Are you trying to make him think about getting in your pants? I saw you talking to him and smiling. You looked like a slut asking for it.”
Not only did his words lead me to morph into a someone who faded into the background, but I also began to realize I was doing it to peel Derrick’s eyes and fingers off me as well—his idea of lovemaking turned toxic.
“Well, that was easy.”
I breathe easier once Shan breaks into my nightmare reverie. Where did the destructive idiots in masks go? Damn mind, damn Derrick. When will his talons dislodge from my brain?
Maybe after tonight, bow chicka bow wow.
“Stop that.” I laugh to no one before I turn around to eye the guy I am literally going home with tonight.
All night?
“Did you say something?”
“What, oh yeah, nothing. Just mumbling to myself.”
“Telling yourself anything interesting?”
Gulp. “No—well yes.”
Now he’s looking at me, confused. Concerned maybe. “The insurance app made it super easy to get everything rolling. How’s the car coming? I’m sure we have a wait, since it’s the weekend.”
“Five minutes out.”
He responds with a smile that melts the insides of my thighs into worse than jelly—more like hot wax.
Heading back to the Letts Hall athletic housing in the car is at times quiet, but not an uncomfortable silence—more like a buildup of excitement and need for what’s to come. I don’t have many partners in my past, and the memory of Derrick is something I’m hoping time with Shan will erase for good.
As we pull up to Shan’s townhome, lights glow through his windows, triggering the jumping of my nerves from my stomach to my throat and back again like I’m on a sick, nausea-inducing, internal trampoline. I know his roommates; we’ve all hung out before. I don’t get why any of that would bother me, though the way Derrick spoke to me in front of his friends and how they, in turn, treated me at times still makes me nervous. When will I stop living my relationship with Derrick on an endless loop as I move forward with Shan?
He senses my unease, as if it’s easy to detect the sticky thronging weight of it hanging around me, not to mention I’m certain that he can hear the stomach noises bubbling up and gurgling in the body next to him in the small sedan. Not hearing a thing or deciding gallantly not to care, he grabs my hand, kissing the top of each knuckle as they slowly bump toward his lips.
“I can take you home if you want.” His face is sincere, though I can tell by the playful smile partially hidden by the straight line of his lips that he’s hoping I haven’t changed my mind.
“No, I want to come inside.”
The open door sends smells of pizza, no, Ray’s calzones, beer, and college-guy scents wafting into my nostrils. Odors are rude that way.
“Hey, Shan! April!” his roommate Tyler hollers from the couch.
Tyler is by far one of my favorites of Shan’s friends. He doesn’t play lacrosse anymore, but Shan and the others would never want to boot him out. It may be because he’s an amazing student and why get rid of that type of study buddy? The coach made him a team tutor or something, so he gets to stay.
Tyler gives me a bear hug, expertly managing not to spill his cup halfway down my back or on his long hair or overly bushy, and still growing, beard.
“Looks like this is becoming its own entity, Tyler.” I give the beard a gentle tug, and his eyes twinkle. Derrick would make me pay if I did that in front of him or if he ever heard about it from one of his goons. Shan just laughs.
“Yeah, we think it’s eating some of the food,” Shan adds. “Though that may be Dre-Money. The kid can eat!”
“Shan’s not kidding, girl.” Tyler snickers. “Watch your food when you’re here with Dre. He’s out right now, doin’ what playas do.”
We all laugh and sit around the living room on mismatched couches and folding chairs that really pop against the zebra print rug under the glass table. Conversation is easy while we snack on salsa and chips and a bowl of what looks like some sort of trail mix bar snack.
“See, Dre snagged those from The Station. Even his favorite bar is his snack machine.”
“So, where’s Michele? I thought you guys had gotten back together.” I give Tyler a playful smack on his arm, and he answers with a knowing smile.
I served as a sort of relationship counselor between the two, helping them work through some of their drama. By drama I mean some of Michele’s tendencies to be an overactive flirt and Tyler’s green eyes, face, bulging-bicep jealousy that would overwhelm him more than he wanted. They both gave in a little. Knowing that Michele’s actions were innocent, Tyler was able to accept her the way she was. It’s one of the reasons he’s my favorite so far. A man that can let a woman be herself is the best type of man.
“She should be ready for me to head out to meet her soon. She’s out with the girls and look at me—I haven’t even texted her more than twice tonight.” He shows me his phone with two unanswered texts from Michele, his face only twitching a tiny bit at the strain his fingers must be under as they manage to refrain from texting her again.
He loves her, she’s his everything, and she loves him. As he learns to trust her even more, they grow into a stronger couple each day. Who would have thought I’d be helping someone with their relationship? Maybe it’s because they both know a little about my background with Derrick. It allows them to grasp and respect my opinion and guidance, even if comes from someone who’s been in the trenches. The last thing Tyler would ever want to do is hurt Michele. The studious heartthrob was thinking more about rearranging the face of the boy getting her attention and wanting to act on it.
People can change; Tyler’s a perfect example of wanting to for love and for the good of a relationship with someone he respects. Helping the couple has been good for Shan and me as well. I think it proves to him that I’ve grown away from the time I lost myself with Derrick. Yes, the memories still hurt and make me fearful of closeness with someone new, especially with intimacy, which is staring me straight in the kisser tonight, but I won’t go back to him—never again. Not much time may have passed since we were together, but I’m already a new person, no longer the shell I once was in Derrick’s presence.
“I’d like to show you something.” Shan stands and reaches his hand out for me to grasp with my tiny hand in comparison.
Tyler’s beer bubbles dare to come out his nose and instead make him choke a little as he quickly exits the room at Shan’s request.
“Grow up, Tyler,” Shan calls over his shoulder.
The man of my dreams pulls me along gently, and I move without a second thought; well, the thought was there but my number two stepped on her throat before she could act lik
e a wild horse bucking around wildly at the thought of being corralled as if it were the same as the mere idea of being in a boy’s room. Not a boy, a man. My man, I guess.
Shan is the guy I’ve been sneaking eyes at for a couple of years now, and after a few light touches and one spectacular kiss, I know I’m ready for something more. I’m not sure how much more, but the pictures in my head of pressing my skin against his in areas we never have before shoot a spastic thrill along my skin while a sizzling, metal sparkler sizzles to life in my mind.
Chapter 8
What I’ve Been Missing
~
We walk through the maze of his house. The three-level townhome is difficult to navigate, with tight stairways and corners, but we manage with held hands. The anticipation bubbling in my lungs causes my breathing to vary from slow panting trills to speedy silent gasps of air.
Breathe, dammit. Don’t pass out and embarrass us.
He stops in front of a badly stained wood door covered in stickers and what looks like splatters of paint. Aside from my friends since grade school, I’ve only been in a guy’s room twice, for this type of reason. Of course, there are parties in dorm rooms and study sessions, but we aren’t here for either of those intentions.
Thankfully. Nerd.
When he opens the door, I smile at a tidy desk, which takes up a small wall, and the disarray of his bed and closet on the opposite side.
“Ah, let me take care of this real quick. Stereo is over there if you want to put something on.”
“I thought a person’s stereo was sacred.”
“Yeah,” he responds playfully. “This is a big step for me.”
“Well, I’m flattered.”
My finger plays along the screen to open his library of music. Flashes of touching Shan’s skin with the same fingertips flicker into my mind’s eye, and I shiver.