by Eric Vall
“Impressive, right?” Mirage purred as she drew closer.
“Wow,” I breathed, “that felt way more realistic than your powers did before.”
“It appears my tricks can now manifest themselves as near perfect replicas of their physical components,” the madame explained.
“Green Lantern,” I chuckled to myself and shook my head.
“What’s that?” Mirage questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s what Todd’s gonna call you when he finds out you can do that,” I elaborated.
“Well, that’s better than ‘Houdini,’” she admitted. “Did you know that man didn’t even use real magic?”
“I’m shocked, I tell you,” I remarked sarcastically, and then I turned over to the final powered-up woman.
Inpulsa had been watching this whole time, but the yellow-haired succubus had been fairly quiet. She was still clad in her black leather outfit, the one fitted with metal studs to amplify her own electrical attacks. However, her hair was now standing up wildly in every direction, almost as if she’d been hit by one of her own shocking spells.
“Yes?” the yellow-haired beauty joked when she saw me gawking. “It’s part of the new look. I think it looks pretty damn badass.”
“It does,” I agreed, “I was just wondering how the ceremony affected you, other than the new ‘doo.”
The yellow-haired succubus strutted over in front of me with determination on her face. Then she summoned yellow hellfire into her hands, clapped them together, and whipped them apart about three feet. As she did so, a vibrant bolt of electricity danced back and forth between her open palms. Inpulsa held her spell firmly for a few seconds more, and that’s when I heard it.
The metal in the room was rattling like mad.
It was being pulled toward Inpulsa’s spell.
“Electromagnetic powers,” the yellow-haired succubus said with a grin. “It doesn’t work on enchanted metal, but if I were to increase the intensity of the spell, it’d pull every single nail, screw, and hanger out of the walls.”
“Guys,” I announced happily as I turned to the rest of the team, “I think making you into Demon Lords is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done.”
“You sure it’s not just because you got to fuck us all?” Eclipse taunted playfully.
“That’s an added bonus,” I chuckled, “but seriously. Beelzebub and his forces aren’t even gonna know what hit them.”
“Speaking of the Lord of the Flies … ” Sia interjected, “that was something Metatron wanted to talk to you about.”
Woops.
I’d totally forgotten I still needed to talk to the Archangel. It’d been at least two weeks since our last update, and I was sure we were both getting concerned that we hadn’t heard back from each other.
“Shit!” I exclaimed. “You guys hold the fort down. I’m gonna go talk to him.”
I scuttled out of the room as quickly as I could and then made my way toward the study that housed the HAM Radio. As soon as I was through the door, I slammed it shut, zipped over to the desk, and picked up the microphone.
“Shining Knight, come in,” I announced through the mic, “this is Black Knight. Do you copy?”
There was a crackle of static on the other end, but nobody seemed to be home. I repeated myself three more times before I sat the microphone down in frustration.
However, just as I was about to give up, I heard a voice from the other end.
“Hello, Black Knight,” an all-too-familiar voice spoke up, “this is Silver Falcon. Shining Knight stepped out for a few minutes.”
Raphael.
“Good to hear from you, Silver Falcon,” I mused. “I heard you guys rang, so I figured I’d give you a call back.”
“Can you hold for a minute?” Raphael asked apologetically, “I can run and grab Shining Knight for you. He’s right outside--”
“You don’t have to--” I began, but then the radio crackled loudly.
I could faintly hear the sound of dashing footsteps, followed by a door creaking open and chatter from the hallway.
Raph had left the mic on.
“He’s on the transmission device!” Raphael’s voice called out from afar. “Yeah, he wants to speak with both of us. Do you think this ‘HAM radio’ can handle two microphones at the same time? What? No, I’m not one-hundred percent confident it won’t explode. That’s why I’m asking you!”
The next thing I knew, I heard loud footsteps enter the room on the other side of the transmission.
“There’s a second headset,” Metatron’s voice sighed, “it was built to do this, Raphael.”
“Are you positive?” the voice of Raph asked with a twinge of panic, “You know how bad I am with these ‘technology’ things. My Blackberry was too much for me, for crying out loud!”
“So, that’s why you have one of those senior cell phones now?” Metatron chuckled.
“The Jitterbug is not a senior cell phone!” Raph protested. “It’s a simplified version of the cellular device, meant for those who are not infatuated with all the bells and whistles of the modern phone. Who wouldn’t want a giant display screen and buttons that are only “send,” and the power? It makes life soooo much easier.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head in amusement as I listened to Raph and Metatron fumble with the radio. Even though I was having a blast, I needed to say something to let them know I was still here.
“Uh, guys?” I announced through the headset. “I can still hear you.”
“Oh, no!” Raphael gasped. “Now he sounds far away!”
“No, no, I’m just--”
“Black Knight!” the Archangel’s voice yelled through the phone with the intensity of a freight train. “Can you hear us?”
I turned down the radio before my eardrums were blown out, and then I brought the mic back up to my lips.
“I can you hear you just fine, Raph,” I explained through a cringe, “there’s no need to shout, you’re coming in loud and clear.”
“Am I being too loud?” Raphael questioned, and then his voice turned into a whisper. “Is this better?”
“Just talk with your normal voice, Raphael,” Metatron sighed. “How are things going in Hell, Black Knight?”
“Pretty damn good,” I admitted as I turned the volume back up to normal. “I’m sure you heard that Public Enemy Number Three has been taken out.”
“I have, and I am impressed,” Metatron admitted. “I’m curious as to how you accomplished such a feat.”
“Well, that’s one of the things I wanted to tell you … ” I trailed off to build suspense. “We have a new ally, and she was the one who helped take this guy down.”
“She?” Metatron gasped. “Were you able to secure the loyalty of one of the Queens?”
“Not just any Queen,” I explained, “I got Prime.”
There was silence on the other end of the line, and I hoped the Archangels understood I was talking about Lilith, the original succubus.
“Prime?” Raphael asked with a whisper. “Who is Prime?”
“The most important missing player in our game,” Metatron tried to explain without giving her name away. “The one who served Lucifer faithfully. The one who is responsible for, well, all of this.”
“It turns out she was way more responsible for this than we ever could have imagined,” I sighed. “Prime told me she’s been watching me for years now and has been working behind the scenes to make sure I found out about the world of the Demonic. Apparently, she was in disguise the whole time as my ex-girlfriend, and she wanted to prevent me from getting into any serious relationships or from moving out of the apartment my occult-loving friend and I shared.”
“I’m sure Han Jobe didn’t take that very well,” Raph noted, though I could tell he was annoyed he had to call Todd by his ridiculous code name.
“He did not,” I chuckled, “I’m still not sure he’s completely over it.”
“Having Prime on you
r side changes the entire landscape of this battle,” Metatron mused. “In fact, it may just change the entire trajectory of this war, as well.”
“On top of all that,” I continued, “I’ve got four more Demon Lords at my disposal now, and my army is becoming more and more skilled by the day. Soon, we’ll be able to march into Public Enemy Number One’s territory and take him out once and for all. With a little bit of help from you guys, of course.”
There was radio silence on the other end of the line, and my heart began to drop in my chest. I heard the distinct sound of a microphone tapping against the table, almost as if the Archangels didn’t want me to hear them.
“Are you going to tell him?” I heard Raphael whisper.
“I thought you were going to tell him,” Metatron hissed, “you two have known each other for much longer. It’d make more sense for you to break the news to him.”
“What news?” I interjected with annoyance. “I can hear you guys, you know.”
There was silence once more, followed immediately by a loud gulp and then an awkward chuckle.
“Ah yes, the news … ” Metatron sighed. “You may want to be sitting down for this one.”
“I already am,” I confirmed as my heart hammered in my chest.
“Well … Raphael and I took your case to the Council of Archangels for deliberation--” the Archangel began, but he was quickly cut off by Raph.
“We fought really, really hard for you, my friend,” Raphael explained apologetically. “We really did.”
“What the Hell are you guys talking about?” I demanded. “Is the Exalted One leaving me out to dry down here?”
“Of course not!” Metatron gasped. “Our creator and lord would never do something so heartless and cruel. As long as you live and fight for our cause, we will be on your side.”
“Then what’s the bad news?” I implored.
“When the time comes to face off against Public Enemy Number One, it has been decided that you and your army must do it alone,” the Archangel explained. “The Council has decided it will not violate interdimensional law and enter the Underworld without permission.”
“What. The. Fuck … ” I felt the anger boiling up inside of me as the words trembled out of my mouth. “So, you are just going to leave us out to dry!”
“You need to understand something, J--er, Black Knight,” Metatron pleaded. “If a literal army of Angels enters Hell at the behest of the Exalted One, it will reactivate the Eternal War. If that happens, then your former archnemesis, Public Enemy Number One, and all of their allies, will have won.”
I laid my head back and stared at the ceiling in frustration. As much as I hated to admit it, Metatron was right.
Azazel had always talked about how he didn’t care much for interdimensional law and how he wanted to enslave all of humankind. At the same time, the entire goal of Beelzebub and his allies was to knock off the Exalted One and Lucifer and then take their place in a “new world order.”
If we reignited the war between Heaven and Hell, it would be playing right into their hands, and right now, I needed to focus all attention on taking out Beelzebub. Aka “Public Enemy Number One.”
“You’re right,” I conceded with a deep sigh. “We can’t bring the entire Army of the Divine down here unprovoked. Could you at least, like, send me an Archangel or two?”
“Sadly, that is out of the question, as well,” Metatron explained somberly. “Archangels are the generals of the Army of the Divine. If any of them were to show up, especially under the Exalted One’s orders, it would cause just as many problems.”
“They’d be seen as what you humans call ‘Foreign Agents’ down on Earth,” Raphael added. “Lucifer would capture them instantly and then make them suffer for all of eternity, or until the Exalted One decided to do something about it. And if he decided to do something about it--”
“Yeah, yeah,” I huffed, “all-out war. Couldn’t I just say you were there under my orders or that I converted you? It’s seemed to work for Gym Rat.”
I hated calling Ariel that, but she was very adamant about it being her nickname.
“Black Knight … ” Metatron warned, “an inconsequential angel is one thing. An Archangel is another. Why do you think Uriel and Public Enemy Number One kept their alliance firmly under wraps? The Demon King knew what would happen if he were caught allying himself with an Archangel.”
My heart was already in my stomach, but now it felt like it dropped down into my feet.
“Then why have I been able to get away with it for so long?” I questioned. “I’ve been allied with Archangels since the beginning.”
“I wish I had an answer, Black Knight,” Metatron admitted, “it’s been something that has been bothering us for a while now, especially after the revelation you had about your heritage.”
“Perhaps it’s as simple as that?” Raphael suggested. “Maybe Black Knight is being cut slack simply because he’s the ‘Prodigal Son?’”
“Maybe,” Metatron sighed, “but I would have thought that’d make it even worse. In any case, we don’t want to push our luck. The official position is we cannot send any angels down there to help you.”
“The official position?” I asked.
“That’s right,” Raphael reiterated suggestively, “the ‘official’ position.”
There was dead silence on the other side of the radio, but I had no idea what was going on.
Finally, Metatron broke the dead air.
“He cannot see you winking, Silver Falcon,” the Archangel sighed.
“How was I supposed to know that?” Raph shot back. “I thought these fancy HAM radios all had video capabilities now? At least, that’s what the man at the Cricket store told me.”
It’s a shame Todd wasn’t here right now. He’d be having a fucking field day with this.
“So, just to be clear … ” I repeated one last time, “the official position is I can’t have any Divine intervention?”
“That is correct,” Metatron agreed.
“I just winked again,” Raph added, “I figured I should let you know.”
“Got it,” I chuckled as my heart began to swell with relief. “Well that’s too bad, then. Are you sure they won’t reconsider?”
“I am sure,” Metatron answered coyly, “my hands are tied, Black Knight.”
“Fuck,” I feigned anger, “well, please tell me you’ve at least got some good news for me, too.”
“I do!” Raphael’s voice interjected through the radio alongside a loud screech.
“You don’t have to hold it right up to your lips!” Metatron reminded his friend.
“Right,” Raph chuckled awkwardly. “What I wanted to tell you is that, thanks to your little excursion to South Dakota, the Cult of Beelzebub has been completely exterminated. But, that’s not all … Apparently, your two cult leaders were quite busy when they returned from their mini vacation. I’m pleased to announce the Cult of Gressil has been eliminated once and for all, as well.”
“Really?” I gasped.
This was fucking huge. A Demon King’s power came in large part from the number of followers they had, whether that be Demon Lords or humans on Earth who worshipped them. Now, Gressil and Beelzebub had nobody left. We’d taken out the last of Beelzebub’s Demon Lords with Loras and Duglot, and now neither of the bastards had any human followers left at all.
“Congratulations, Black Knight,” Raph mused, “your enemies are now the weakest they could possibly be.”
“So, you’re saying now is the perfect time to strike?” I implored.
“I’m not sure,” Metatron admitted. “Public Enemy Number One is still the most powerful Demon Lord in all of Hell. Even in his depowered state, he should not be taken lightly.”
“What about Public Enemy Number Two, then?” I shot back.
“Speak with Prime,” Metatron suggested, “she will know these two better than we ever could. However, I would imagine she would agree with you. Your enemies
are weaker now than they have ever been at any point in history, my friend. You’d be foolish to let this opportunity go to waste.”
“Message heard loud and fucking clear,” I reassured him, “I won’t waste it.”
“Good,” Metatron reminded me, “because I can promise you, there won’t be a better shot. That’s all I have for you today, my friend. Shining Knight, over and out.”
“Black Knight, over and out,” I responded.
“Silver Falcon, over and out!” Raph agreed, and then the radio lines went silent.
I sat back in my chair as I pondered my next move. It seemed like the stars were aligning, and it would be foolish to not take a shot at Beelzebub and Gressil while they were still licking their wounds. Not to mention, they’d just lost their strongest ally with the death of Baphomet, and I now had unlimited access to the Fifth Circle of Hell.
It was now or never. And I certainly wasn’t going to let it be “never.”
Beelzebub had been planning an invasion of the Fourth Circle for months, but now it was time to turn the tables.
We were going to bring the fight to them.
Chapter 4
“Army of Ralston, attention!” Cupiditas shouted like a drill sergeant from the stage at the front of the coliseum.
Right on cue, the hundreds of Shades who stood before us tensed their bodies, turned to face us, and stomped their right foot in unison. The sound of their boots was muffled by the sandy ground beneath them, but I knew for a fact the action would be intimidating as fuck on the actual battlefield.
“A bunch of soldiers, all lined up in perfect formation,” Ariel, the red-headed angel, whistled, “just what I like to see.”
“Bro, are you really sure she’s not some sorta sociopath?” Todd whispered into my ear. “No matter how much I try to push it aside, I keep gettin’ Patrick Bateman vibes.”
“Don’t you mean Rachael?” I retorted with a chuckle. “The female version of the killer is totally more appropriate, don’t you think?”
Todd pursed his lips as his head turned toward me and tilted ominously to the side.
“We don’t talk about American Psycho II, bro,” he warned. “That movie is an abomination to mankind, even if it does have Mila Kunis in it!”