by Rayner Ye
“Dang will be coming too.” He winked at her. Dang, who sat next to Jayan, elbowed him in the side. They were both feigong teachers and looking at them made her heart thud.
Unlike most Rajanakki Native-Reds, Dang wasn’t small and wiry. He was solid and athletic. She’d watched him fight-dancing with a sword and staff, running up to do intricate somersaults in the air. He had a cute face and a lovely smile. Jayan’s wink told her that her desire for Dang was apparent. Most girls there had the hots for him and probably dreamed of marrying him. He was a quiet type, a thoughtful introvert.
Even though he had skin more on the yellow-brown side like a Jerjen, Aedre had seen him with other Sattchi males at prayer time—standing on his head. When she’d asked him if he were part Jerjen, he’d laughed and said, “No way.” That was how it was between Jerjens and Native-Reds, they’d deny having mixed blood even if their features and colouring told you otherwise.
After they ate, Aedre rushed off to shower. She peeled off her disgusting clothing and looked around for the mosquito drone. There it was, sitting on top of the wooden door, watching her nakedness. She emptied her bag and gasped. No clothes, soap, or shampoo. How could she possibly go out with others in her sweaty attire? Her home was miles away, and there weren’t any shops close enough to buy anything.
Should she cancel or go?
Dammit.
She showered anyway and pulled on her stinking clothes. Her hair was a mess too—all frizz and no curls.
She took a taxi with the two feigong teachers and another girl. They smelled fresh. Hair slicked, Dang and what’s-his-face wore crisp white shirts. She slid closer to the door. Could they smell her rank clothes?
This must’ve been how life was among royalty. First, the glorious Sattchi princess was sitting next to her. Her purple and gold dress had been sprayed over a bell-shaped gown that reached her ankles and opened in the middle to reveal an ultraviolet underlay. She wore dainty black velvet slippers, and her hair was a shimmering ball, adorned with tiny amethysts and quartz crystals. She revelled at the moment: a poor Nerthling in rags socialising among a higher-class.
She inspected her grubby white trainers and crossed one shin over the other. Were they staring? Judging her? No that’d embarrass them too. Polite conversation droned on until their taxi pulled into a shopping mall.
Expensive designer brands filled the complex and made her heart flutter. She bowed her head, ashamed of walking around like a tramp on shiny white marble floors. Shoppers wandered about, sizing up one another more than luxury consumables.
If Dang considered this a good time, he was not on her wavelength.
What would these people say if they saw her worshipping trees? Who would she fool by dressing and acting like them? Regardless of colour or creed, these weren’t her people. Still, didn’t everyone want to fit in? Be loved?
The evening was a bore, as were her companions. She never let on, though, and only smiled and nodded as hours passed by.
After an endless fashion parade, a rescue effort emerged.
“Would you like me to escort you home?” Dang asked.
“Yes, please.”
Jayan linked an arm with the beautiful girl in the gown. “We’ll take a separate cab. See you next weekend?”
Aedre flushed. “Sure.”
Dang sat next to her on their quiet ride through the city centre. Little did he know, she daydreamed all the while about him. What kind of a boyfriend would he make? Would his parents accept her into their family?
“It’s kind of you to go out of your way to escort me home,” she said.
“My pleasure.”
The taxi stopped outside her home. She paid the driver. “Would you like to join me for a hot drink?”
He perked up. “Of course.”
When they sat on her sofa, he wasted no time and put his arm around her.
She froze, then swallowed and faced him. Was this really happening? Did he like her stink?
He smiled back. Strange. She’d expected to feel aroused. She needed this, but her body seemed to disagree. His black eyes looked into hers, and she blushed in embarrassment. She leaned forward, and they kissed.
The sloppy kiss told her he was a virgin. Hard to focus, though. Gold-tooth was probably spying on her this very minute. Sex before marriage was forbidden, and dogmatic social laws controlled every social outing. Nabi had told her males were still considered pure if they had sex with someone outside their race and religion.
His lips went rubbery. She shifted around and tried kissing deeper, but he kept his lips sealed. Odd. She observed the bizarre scene from outside her body, like the mosquito drone on her wall.
“May we go to bed?” he asked. Her body screamed ‘no,’ but she ached to be his girlfriend, and maybe even his exotic wife. Perhaps his parents would accept her into their family. She’d become a Sattchi if she could live with a loving husband. Surely once he was inside, she’d feel the urge. He was a good guy, not bad like Nul.
“Can I go and change first?”
He raised his eyebrows and grinned. “Okay. I’ll wait here.”
She showered and changed into sexy underwear, then threw on a clean T-shirt and loose trousers. Better.
She led him to her bedroom. He sat on her bed and undid his shirt. His copper skin was as smooth as silk and muscles bulged in all the right places. He had the perfect appearance. She fantasised about this the kind of man.
So why wasn’t she feeling anything?
She straddled him, and he became hard beneath her. Usually, this would get her going, but she felt nothing. He, on the other hand, was panting and his bottom lip twisted in pleasure. But instead of feeling arousal in her vagina, guilt groaned in her heart. He was like a statue under her. She couldn’t seduce this virgin to love her.
He lifted her T-shirt over her head, and she flushed in embarrassment.
Couldn’t he see she wasn’t horny? How about gold-tooth? Would it make light entertainment for him and his mobsters? She didn’t rush to take her trousers off. Maybe some foreplay would make her horny.
She was usually quick and easy to please. What was going on? She was way too easy—a convenient screw. He’d do what Nul had done if she let him inside. Who was she fooling?
She slipped off the bed and pulled on her T-shirt. “It’s too soon. I like you, but we need to see each other more.”
He propped himself on his elbows, eight abdominal muscled lined neatly in two rows. “You kidding?”
“No.”
“I thought white women were easy,” he mumbled as he swung his legs over her bed.
“What?” Aedre put her hands on her hips. “That’s cruel.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re a nice girl, but why’d you lead me on?”
“It’s too soon to have sex. We don’t even know each other.”
“We can get to know each other. Sure you don’t want it now?”
“No. I’m scared you’ll have sex with me, then throw me away.”
He yanked on his trousers. “Shame. I’ll phone a taxi.”
Couldn’t he say anything else? Was that it?
They waited on her sofa, the atmosphere thick and tense. Once he left, she exhaled loudly and focused on planning her next day’s lessons. There was no doubt she’d done the right thing.
Perhaps playing hard to get might catch him.
Elements
Aedre put away her students’ learning screens, then checked her holophone for the hundredth time and sighed. Not one message from Dang. She’d made a mistake of messaging him.
Not having sex with him had been the right thing to do, but that didn’t fill the emptiness in her heart. Seeing Sharr Shuvuu and swimming in that volcano had helped on a spiritual level, but she needed someone to share her life. Someone to love. Instead of moping around the cafeteria, she’d visit the Feili temple, a peaceful place to meditate, away from the noise and negative energy.
Lunch break was brief. After running t
here, she found a side door ajar. Her footfalls echoed in the empty temple. A colourful statue of a white Jerjen woman looked down at her with knowing eyes. In her arms, the Mother of the Universe held overflowing suns, planets, and moons. Aedre was about to sit and meditate. A tree would be an excellent place. She straightened and left the altar, turning to bow before entering the courtyard.
She let her eyes adjust from dark to daylight and peered around the garden—walkways, pools, bonsai trees. No one was around. Good. She took off her shoes and padded across a patch of grass, towards a gnarled tree. She crouched, hugged its trunk, and rested her cheek against it. Sometime later, she straightened and improvised a song.
“Oh, Mother Kuanja, oh, Mother Kuanja. I love you, Mother Kuanja, of black and brown and red.
“Of black and brown and red, of black and brown and red.
“I love, respect, and worship you, of black and brown and red.”
She picked up a green leaf and held it to her womb.
“Oh, Mother Water, oh, Mother Water. I love you, Mother Water, your ocean ebbs and flows.
“Your water’s always flowing and supporting all life.
“I love, respect, and worship you, your womb brings life.”
She looked at the blazing white sun.
“Oh, Father Fire, oh, Father Fire. I love you, Father Fire, your flame is bright and hot.
“And yet you power life, we transfer your light.
“I love, respect, and worship you, each and every star.”
She paused and threw her shoulders back, heart open and crown pulled up.
“Oh, Father Air, oh, Father Air. I love you, Father Air, your feathered birds fly past.
“Your breath is in my heart, and your love is in my soul.
“I love, respect, and worship you. Your breath makes me whole.”
Breathing deeply for a few moments, she sang again. The wind rustled leaves in the trees, louder and louder. She became a strong bridge between soil and sky.
“Thank you elements for everything you bring and thank you for my life, which is so dear to me.
“Thanks for loving me as your daughter, and thanks for teaching me every time I fall.
“I offer you my smile, and I offer you my love, I offer you my joy and my opened heart.
“May people realise that you are so special. For we are all your children and must treat you well.”
She closed her eyes as energy rose within. It snaked and coiled into the sky. She kowtowed on the grass, connecting her forehead to Mother Kuanja, and breathed deeply a while.
Her stroll to work was pleasant, and when Native-Reds pointed and shouted “Noctar,” or giggled behind their hands, she laughed and waved. Some gaped and stepped back in surprise, some scratched their heads in confusion, but most returned her smiles.
Bhaltair called her into his office on her arrival. “I’ve had a few complaints about you. But before we begin, what in God’s name are you wearing? Next time you come to work, don’t wear your pyjamas.”
She flushed and peered at her Batik trousers and top, traditional in Inarmuzza.
“Wear something a little smarter in future. We’re all worried about you.”
We? Who else could be worried about her? And why would a wife beater and rapist worry?
“Some students are worried about your background too. I mean, for crying out loud, if you’re too cheap to pay for plastic surgery for that hideous scar, can’t you at least pile makeup over it? Disgusts me.”
She gasped.
“What’s more alarming is that your neighbours have seen all sorts of young men coming and going from your home. This is a Sattchi country, and you can’t mingle with locals of the opposite sex without getting a reputation.”
“But I have friends. Male and female.”
Mosh had all sorts of women coming over, but her friends were purely friends.
“Don’t get defensive.” His pink face reddened. “Employees don’t talk back here. Have a little respect for my position. I’m telling it like it is. You’ll respect what’s acceptable here and stop giving my school a bad name.”
He rubbed a small hairy hand over his face. “Your lessons have slackened too. Some teachers overheard your comment that a grammar-based approach didn’t aid language acquisition over a lexical one. Well, this won’t do. You’re only a teacher here. Let’s get something straight: I choose what you teach. From now on, submit your lesson plans for two days in advance. Or look for another job.”
She crossed her arms over her pounding chest.
Frown lines dented his brow. “One final thing. Stay the hell away from my wife. I don’t like her mixing with your kind.”
Something snapped in her. “You know what? You’re a bully and a parasite! Yes, you’re an energy parasite. Putting others down, stamping on their happiness and crushing their freedom.”
He looked at her bug-eyed.
“You’re a cruel man who’s sucked all of my energy. So you know what? Go fuck yourself. I quit.”
His face went purple, and he balled his fists. “You have some nerve. Who d’you think you are? They’ll kick you off this planet quicker than you can blink, you whore.” He grinned. “I nearly forgot. You won’t get your free return ticket before your probationary period ends. Well, if you aren’t a fool. Hope you’ve got savings.”
Her blood boiled. The image of Nabi’s welts and bruises flashed in her mind. Despite her meditation and devotion to nature spirits, how could she keep her cool with such injustices?
He rubbed his face again. “I’ll give you two options. Apologise on your knees, or get out of my fucking sight. They never should’ve allowed the likes of you on this planet anyway.”
She wouldn’t let him bully her. “I choose to leave.” A deep voice boomed from the depths of her soul. “And we’ll see who gets fired. I know your dirty little secret. I know what you’ve done to Nabi.”
His face slackened, eyes opened wide.
“Yeah.” she sneered. “That’s right. I’ll get you thrown in prison before you can blink. What would your neighbour’s say about that? Not to mention the students and their parents?”
The colour drained from his face, and he pointed at the door. “Go now. Pack your bags. I want you out tomorrow.”
Labour Camp
Aedre entered a dingy travel office and shut the door. She sat in a small waiting area and sighed. The quiet office brought relief from honking horns in the street. Sweat ran down her neck as she looked up at a broken air conditioner. Two swivelling fans sat on two desks.
Some other clients bought their tickets from a female agent in a purple headscarf and left. Aedre stood.
The woman apologised in Mayleedian and held her palm out. “Pray time now. I won’t be long.”
Aedre sank into her chair. “That’s okay.”
The woman walked through a doorway, leaving the other travel agent to talk to a young couple.
The woman returned ten minutes later. “My name’s Maria.” She waved towards her desk, and they each took a seat opposite one another.
“My name’s Aedre—”
“Where would you like to travel to?” Maria placed her hands in her lap and smiled. Thick eyelashes rimmed her eyes like rays from a black sun.
Aedre pursed her lips and glanced through the window at congested roads. She returned her gaze. “To be honest, I haven’t come here to buy a ticket, but to ask for advice.”
Maria scoffed. “I don’t normally provide my services for free. But, I suppose I can spare a bit of time.”
Aedre straightened her dress. “I’ve probably come to the wrong place, but I didn’t know where else to go. I’m in a terrible situation.” She breathed in and out slowly. “I quit my job this morning before my probation period ended.”
Maria nodded.
“My boss won’t give me a return ticket to Nerthus.”
“Can you afford to buy a ticket?”
“I have no money. I have an aurashield I could sell.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes.”
“Aurashields are worth a lot, but not enough for a ticket to Nerthus. That would cost ten times more, at least.”
“I know. I was going to ask for advice at the Nerthus Embassy, but their waiting time’s all day, and I don’t think I have that long. My boss said he’d cancel my visa immediately, so I’d only have a Kuanja day. That’s two Nerthus days.”
“That’s bad.” Maria shook her head. “He sounds like a bad man.”
“He is.”
“Let me talk to my colleague. He knows a lot about immigration. I believe Sahas brought you here for a reason.”
Hopefully, Maria’s Sattchi God had brought her there for a good reason.
Maria talked in hushed tones with the other travel agent, whose clients had already left.
He looked at Aedre, rubbed his chin, and fetched a large file from a shelf. He leafed through it, then put on his glasses. Pointing at the paper, he whispered to Maria. She nodded, talked some more, then carried the file to her desk. Pages fluttered under her fan. Sweat spotted her brow as she looked at it again. “Are you sure you have no money at all?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have family or friends you can ask for a loan? You can use an airSphere at Embassy if you think you can. My colleague can phone through, and you shouldn’t need to wait.”
Ask Dad? The first and only time contacting him, to ask for an enormous loan? Awkward.
“I don’t think so. My mother’s dead.” She gazed at her shoes. “My dad doesn’t have much money.”
Maria sighed. “That’s too bad, Dear. But without a loan, you’ll go to one of Inarmuzza’s labour camps.”
“Not prison?”
Maria gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Of course not. You’re not a criminal.”
Thankfully, she hadn’t asked for advice at the police station. She might still be on their records.
“What’re the labour camps here like?”
“I wouldn’t like to be in one myself. I can’t imagine they’re comfortable. You know how corrupt Inarmuzza’s government is?”