by Jen Jensen
Chapter Eight
The lights flickered and blinked off. Jamis lunged for the flashlight she noticed on the table next to the stairs, pressing the on button repeatedly. It would not turn on, so she threw it at the corner of the room. It moved through whatever was there and hit the wall.
She then struggled to take her phone out of her pocket. Sapphire followed her lead, and they both turned their cell phones to the corner. The illumination was not heavy, but it was enough to light the way.
“What happened to the light?” Jamis moved to stand closer to Sapphire. “Where the hell is the sun? It didn’t set yet.” They had been surrounded by light, from the windows, from the kitchen, lamps in the front room, and the light above the entryway into the house. Now, there was only darkness. “Did the lights go out? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Sapphire whispered. The figure in the corner of the room rose and filled the space between the floor and ceiling. Long arms reached down the walls and fingers stretched through a landscape print hung above the couch. Jamis and Sapphire both screamed. Sapphire grabbed Jamis’s arm, squeezing so hard it hurt.
“Oh my God, help us. Jamis, do something,” Sapphire said.
Jamis pulled Sapphire’s fingers from her arm and pushed her to the front door, taking two steps before she fell to her knees. Sapphire collapsed in front of her.
It felt like her dream. It felt like the day before. The pattern was repeating. Patterns could be changed. She knew from her own life. How different could it be for a dead person? Jamis took a deep breath, closed her eyes, no longer afraid. When she opened them, the woman from the field stood by the front door. Sapphire screamed again, pointing behind Jamis.
“Let go. It’s feeding on our terror. Close your eyes. Imagine something that makes you happy.” Jamis shifted so they faced each other.
“I can’t close my eyes,” Sapphire said. “It’s right behind us.”
“It’s not really here. Close your eyes. See something that makes you happy.”
Sapphire closed her eyes and was silent. “Jamis?”
The distorted shadow of the being she’d met the day before dissipated. The woman from the field disappeared and the light returned.
“It’s gone. You can open your eyes,” Jamis said.
“What just happened?”
“I don’t know.” Jamis retrieved her tablet. “How much you want to bet I got nothing on the cameras?”
“Let me see.” Sapphire came toward her.
They watched the clips together. The cameras recorded nothing but the two of them. Jamis stopped the playback.
“Oh, hey, wait. Wait,” Sapphire said. She touched the screen and reversed it a few seconds. “There,” she said, pointing at the screen. Her finger rested on the front door. A shadow hovered in front of it. “Did you see it in real time? What was it?”
“Yeah. It’s this woman from a dream.” Jamis tried to zoom on the tablet, but nothing returned. The flicker of movement was almost indistinguishable.
“What?” Sapphire tapped the screen again. “You see stuff from your dreams in real life?”
“Maybe?” Jamis wasn’t really sure. Maybe it was wishful projection. But then why would Sapphire notice it on the recording?
“Weird,” Sapphire said.
“Tell me about it.”
“Can you give me access to your cameras? I have some imaging enhancing software I use for old photos. I might be able to clear it up.”
“Take a look. I’ll give you the passwords.” Jamis handed her the tablet.
“I’ll look tonight,” Sapphire said.
“I think we need to go. I feel like I’ve had enough. I can take you to your car,” Jamis said.
They left together, side by side, but as Jamis shut off the lights, she paused to look in the far corner of the room. Blue lines, shaped vaguely like eyes blinked at her. Did Stephanie have blue eyes? She felt deep tenderness replace her alarm. What if someone really killed Stephanie in the house? Did she show Vince her body? The lines shifted to red, something screamed. Jamis pulled the door shut.
Her emotions were amped and charged. It wasn’t like her to turn away from something like that, but the emotional density of the experience overwhelmed her. Her nervous system felt inflamed, like one more thing would be the last she could take. It was probably because of her ongoing recovery from depression.
In the car, she released the tension. “Fucked up,” Jamis said, hitting the steering wheel. “Holy hell.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Sapphire said, “but this isn’t something I do on a regular basis.” Sapphire looked out the window at passing houses and mailboxes.
“I thought I was desensitized.” She shivered, thought about her strained nerves, imagined them swollen like a twisted ankle. “I didn’t feel desensitized tonight. That was unreal.” At a stop sign, she turned to Sapphire. “It was almost like we were somewhere else.”
“Yes. It wasn’t like it came to us. It was like we went to it.” Sapphire drifted away in thought for a few moments. “But how did we get back? By thinking happy thoughts?”
Jamis considered the question as they traveled on together. “You know, hell is a state of consciousness. What if, for whatever reason, this particular being can share its consciousness? What if we are somehow pulled into their illusion?” She stopped again at the end of the street by her motel. “This is as far as I know to go. It looks different at dusk.” Sapphire directed her. “Anger, fear, grief create darkness. These energies settle in our bodies and they create attachments to people, things, events. With enough trauma, it’s conceivable this being created their own hell and continued to live in it. Now, for whatever reason, it wants to share it or wants to be seen.”
“That’s really creepy.” Sapphire pointed, and Jamis followed the path of her finger.
“But think about it. Serial killers have the worst imaginable experiences as they grow up. It warps their psyche. The most difficult people are the most wounded. Pain needs an outlet so it creates chaos. It cries for help. What if that’s what’s happening here? What if that being is Stephanie Gardner, somehow reaching out, now, after all these years?”
“Are you a psychologist or ghost hunter?”
“I’ve just had a lot of therapy. But everything is conjecture and projection with communal consensus. That’s what we do with everything. We form laws, customs, and normative standards. Then we tell stories about it. Then those stories form our body of knowledge. The lanes get defined. And within them we project our consciousness.” Jamis tapped the steering wheel, when the right question emerged. “Maybe we should ask what you and I needed to see there tonight.” Her blood raced to her head with visceral understanding. “What made you feel better?”
“I thought about seeing Johnna earlier, Sam, and my mom when I gave her a new iPad a few days ago.”
“I thought about this dream I’ve been having for months. The one I told you about. There is a woman there. I can’t reach her, though.” Jamis pulled the car where Sapphire pointed in the municipal building parking lot. “Don’t lose me. I’ll just follow you.”
They drove through Sage Creek as night settled. Porch lights flickered on. Deep purple settled into the fading orange of the sun. Red dirt mountains jutted upward like gothic towers, reaching to the sky. In the distance, a sage bush, grown almost eight feet tall, stood alone in the high desert against the long emptiness of western sky.
Jamis longed to roll down her window, but the peace she viewed was tinged with frigid cold. Sapphire took them from the lights of the city down a long, dark road, and Jamis slowed automatically, unaccustomed to driving without streetlights. A mile or two passed, she was not sure, and they turned down a plowed dirt road that wound for just a tenth of a mile, over a small creek, before opening to a well-lit house surrounded by open space. A light hung in a window of a barn. A chimney puffed smoke. Sapphire waved at her from the front door on the wrap-around porch. Jamis climbed from the car. Was this for real? Did J
ohnna really live in a place that looked like it belonged in a Norman Rockwell painting?
Light classical music filtered out. In the doorway, a man in a wheelchair said, “Well, come in. It’s cold.” Sapphire followed him. Jamis hurried behind, relieved to be inside. Warm lighting filled the space. The room was sparsely decorated, minimalistic. The only visual noise was the overflowing bookshelves along the staircase.
“Hi, Jamis. I’m Sam. It’s so amazing to meet you. Come in. Relax.” Jamis sat in the chair next to the fire and wished the blinds were open on the wall of windows to her right.
“Johnna, Sapphire is here with Jamis,” Sam yelled up the stairs.
“Just getting out of the shower and I’ll be down.” Johnna’s voice thrilled and simultaneously soothed Jamis. She didn’t think anything that was happening was possible. From poltergeists to a gorgeous woman who made her pulse race. She’d given up on almost everything the previous few years, and certainly didn’t have the energy to date. Her focus had been inside, shifting through the emotional debris of everything that came before. Jamis told Dr. Frank there might not be space to try again with someone. It felt too dangerous, as love becomes after too many failed attempts. If that was true, what was she doing here? With this woman who seemed entirely too good to be true? Was it a delusion? She needed to slow down, be sure.
Virginia bounded down the stairs, nails clacking against the wood. She saw Jamis and leaped, landing on her lap.
“I’ve missed you too.” Virginia licked her face before collapsing to pant happily on her back, stretched across Jamis’s legs.
“Are you kidding, Virginia?” Virginia looked at Sam and wagged her tail. “I mean, I can’t blame her. This is the biggest thing to happen to us in years.” He moved toward the kitchen. “I shouldn’t admit that. Don’t tell Johnna I did.” He waved at Sapphire. “Come see my new bird. Do you want to come?”
“I’m going to sit if you don’t mind. It’s been quite the day.” They left and Jamis kissed Virginia on the mouth. “Mauled by a pit bull.”
Jamis stretched her legs in front of her, shifting Virginia. The walls were painted light yellow and made of plaster. They looked like the dress in the dream. A washing machine ran in the background. The sound of water rushing into the machine filled the silent spaces in the music. She closed her eyes. The low murmur of Sam’s voice behind the closed door wove itself with the sounds of the house, and her consciousness retreated into sleep.
Jamis was in the field again. The sun was lower in the sky. The woman was closer now. Jamis called out to her, tried to walk toward her. The woman took a step toward her and Jamis smiled, excited. “Yes, walk to me,” she said, pushing forward like a runner on the starting blocks of a race. But then there was pressure on her shoulder, like a hand.
“Jamis.” She heard her name. “You fell asleep. Jamis?” She was dreaming and needed to wake up. For an unfocused moment, as her eyes opened, Jamis thought the woman in the dress was closer. The yellow paint of the wall shone around her head, reflected by the light behind her. She shifted her focus and reached to touch her face.
“Who are you?”
“It’s Johnna. You fell asleep. Remember, you came with Sapphire?” Johnna touched Jamis’s hand on her face and nudged Virginia who slept soundly. “Go on, you. Get down. You probably put her to sleep.”
Jamis dropped her hand, pulling back into herself. “I’m sorry,” she said, “Was I drooling or snoring? Anything embarrassing?” Johnna’s green eyes were soft and kind.
“No. But you were in a really deep sleep.” Johnna knelt on one knee next to her. “I was no more than ten minutes upstairs. It’s strange you fell to sleep so hard. Have you struggled sleeping lately?”
“I don’t sleep well at all, normally, so I nap a lot. But I keep having this dream.”
“You said that this morning.” Johnna’s shampoo smelled like eucalyptus and mint. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m not sure I can.” Her words caught in her throat. “There’s a field. It’s beautiful and peaceful, but I’m not able to move. There’s a woman there. She’s closer now. It feels important, but I don’t know why.” Johnna’s presence magnified Jamis’s senses. They were so close, touching her was possible, but Jamis hesitated. They’d just met the night before. Was she healthy enough to get involved? Did she have enough to offer? A retired ghost hunter, who was popular, but also a pop culture joke. What if she asked and Johnna said no? Would she dip back down into the grand abyss from which she just emerged?
“Come on. Let’s eat. We can talk about it later, if you want.”
Johnna turned on the kitchen lights. The cabinets were white, simple, and clean.
“You’re okay? No health issues?” Johnna lifted a pan out of the oven and set it on the counter. It was baked ziti and it smelled divine. She could cook too.
“Nope. Not that I know of, anyway.” Jamis made her way to Johnna’s side. “You’re a doctor. What’s wrong with me?”
Johnna reached to adjust the pan on a wooden block. Her arm brushed Jamis’s hip, and both of them stopped to register the contact. Johnna leaned against Jamis’s shoulder before returning to her own space.
“I’m a vet.” Johnna laughed. “Take that to the table?”
Jamis picked up the pan with the hot pad. She lifted at the wrong angle and the pan burned her skin. “Ouch,” she said, setting the pan down.
“Did you burn yourself?” Johnna grabbed her arm, fingers soft on her skin. “Oh, you did,” she said, pulling Jamis’s arm forward. She turned on the cold water and eased Jamis’s arm under it. Jamis was silent, the touch of Johnna’s fingers on her skin drowning out the pain. “Keep your arm under the water. Let me get some aloe.” Johnna opened a cupboard door, pulled down gel, turned off the water, dried Jamis’s arm with a towel, and gently put aloe on the burn with a fingertip.
“I think you’ll live.” Johnna smiled and turned away, but Jamis caught her face gently with her free hand, turning her back. It happened before she knew what she was doing. Johnna paused, and Jamis tugged her forward, her desire drowning out any wise thought about timing, location, or appropriateness.
“Jamis,” Johnna said, breaking the spell. “I, it’s just…” Jamis let her go, stepped back.
“Johnna, I am so sorry. I don’t know why I did that. You were just so kind. And you’re beautiful.” Jamis smiled at her, strangely vulnerable, and picked up the hot pad. “Let’s see if I can do this without injuring myself.”
Sam opened the door and came toward them with Sapphire. “There’s lots of birds in there.”
“How many is a lot? I can hear them,” Jamis said. She needed to recover the situation from her emboldened trespass on Johnna’s obvious boundaries.
“About twenty, but don’t judge. They’re rescued,” Sam said.
“Sam, I hunt ghosts and believe aliens influenced ancient earth culture. It’s all relative.” Johnna laughed and Jamis turned to face her.
“Ask me about aliens,” Jamis said to Johnna.
“Some other time,” Johnna said, handing her a salad bowl, meeting Jamis’s eyes, as if to tell her it was okay. Jamis nodded and turned to set it on the table.
“You won’t believe what happened,” Sapphire said, interrupting to share the story of their day. Sapphire and Jamis agreed to leave out details that would lead to the date of the worst day of their lives until they knew more.
Sam opened the fridge. “My sister is a vegan. She sucks the joy from all my favorite home cooked meals, but I insist on my dairy ranch dressing. Even if she makes me eat fake cheese.”
“There are non-dairy alternatives,” Johnna said. “Everything tonight is cruelty free.”
“Prepare to feel guilty, all the time, Jamis,” Sam said.
“I’ve always thought I should be a vegan,” Jamis said.
Johnna pointed at Jamis. “See?”
“Oh God, not you too,” Sam said.
They fell silent as they dished up food. Ja
mis didn’t speak until she was on helping number two. “I was so hungry.”
“Maybe because of what’s happening,” Sam said.
“That’s a good point. Out-of-body experiences burn a lot of calories. I met a shaman once, in Mexico, who told me that after a trance, he ate over three thousand calories to feel satiated.”
“I’m starved tonight too,” Sapphire said.
“There’s some cake in the fridge,” Johnna said. Sam pushed back from the table to get it. “Do you really believe you saw something in that house? Something otherworldly?”
“I do.” Sam cut the cake and handed Jamis a piece. “I’m starting to think I’m being pulled psychically into something bigger than me. Sapphire was tonight too. Because the moment I realized it was happening, I was able to make it stop.”
“That’s why there is nothing on the video,” Sam said. “Because it’s all happening in your head.”
“This could be why there is no proof of ghosts. Evidence. But no proof. Because it’s all a complicated web of consciousness and manifestation in quantum states of physicality we don’t understand.” Jamis took a bite of cake.
“That’s totally something I could hear you say on your show,” Sam said, raising his hand to give her a high five. Jamis met it with a smile.
“That was good. Gotta write that down,” Jamis said.
“Well, just keep your hell dimension consciousness away from me and Virginia. We’re happy here on planet Earth, third dimension,” Johnna said, touching Jamis’s hand.
“I’m not,” Sapphire said. “Take me to a dimension without Donald Trump.”
“Sapphire hasn’t been the same since the election,” Sam said.
“Who has?” Johnna left the table. “I’m in denial.”
“We’re working out our shadow,” Jamis said. “It’s ugly when that happens.” Johnna made coffee. Jamis relaxed watching her. Sam nudged Sapphire with his elbow. She cleared her throat, catching Jamis’s attention. Jamis flushed and pushed crumbs of cake around her plate. They both laughed at her. In the kitchen, Johnna rinsed pots, waiting for the coffee to brew.