by CJ Cooke
“I don’t,” she sighed. “Is that what you want to hear, Grey? That I don’t have any of the answers. That I don’t know what I’m doing. That if I’d tried harder, worked more, insisted that they teach me, that none of this would be happening? That I wouldn’t be floundering around, I’d be strong enough to take out any threat that came against us.”
“And throwing yourself into this, giving up your life, is going to make that better?”
Calli didn’t respond, but I could see the anger in her eyes.
“Dying isn’t going to bring them back, Calli,” I told her as gently as I could. “You don’t have to prove you’re worthy of the memory of them.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she angrily shook her head before she slowly blew out a breath.
“You can’t give up on them, on yourself, just for me,” she whispered.
“Haven’t you realised it yet, sweetheart? I’d tear down the moon and set fire to this world if it meant I could hold you in my arms for just a moment longer.” She had to realise, surely, that I’d do anything for her. Giving up my life for hers was nothing.
Calli’s mouth opened like she was going to say something. I could almost feel the anger and sadness twining together and rolling off her. But in the end, she snapped her mouth shut and stormed past me out of the library. I caught her muttered, “The pack is waiting,” as she disappeared from sight.
“And can’t you see that she’d never agree to sacrifice you either,” River sighed. It wasn’t often that I felt like my little brother was chastising me, but he was fully within his rights to do so right now. “Did you actually think she’d go along with it, Grey? That any of us would be okay with it.”
He followed Calli out of the door before I even had a chance to respond. Why couldn’t they see this was the only way?
The pack had gathered in the dining room to hear what we were going to do. Even Davion and his second, Alexandar, were waiting on me to tell them how we would survive. I only wished I knew the answer. It was an impossible decision. Of course, I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice anyone in the pack. If it had been a choice between myself and Calli, well, it wouldn’t even be a choice. But so many other lives hung in the balance. I just couldn’t see sacrificing my mate as an acceptable solution to this. There had to be another way. There just had to be.
The room was quiet and solemn when I entered. I was surprised to see Nash there at all. I’d assumed he’d still be by Holly’s side.
“How is she?” I asked him quietly.
“She still hasn’t woken up. She hasn’t even moved.” He stared off into the distance as he spoke, his voice far away and not entirely with us. Blake sat by his side, murmuring reassurances to him. Out of everyone in the pack, he was the only one who’d experienced the type of agony he was going through right now.
Looking around the room at all of the people sitting here, waiting for me to tell them how we were all getting out of this alive, I realised I was afraid. I couldn’t give them the answers, the reassurances they needed. I had nothing. I’d failed them.
A great crack thundered through the air before I even had time to come up with some feeble idea of how we would make it through this. Some kind of lie.
“What the fuck?” Tanner gasped.
The whole pack would have felt it just as much as I had, the rendering inside, the tearing.
“The barrier,” Calli whispered, standing from her seat and moving to the window.
“What’s happening?” Davion demanded.
“Something is happening to the barrier,” Calli murmured as she pushed her way past everyone to go outside.
Everyone followed because what else were we going to do? Sit and wait for them to come for us. No, if we were going down, I was going down fighting.
Against my better judgement, we moved about half of the way down the driveway until we were standing not far from the ward. The sight that met us terrified me to my very core. The whole pack gathered behind Calli as she stood in the middle of the driveway facing down the threat that had come for us.
The shadow demons were standing, clustered at the ward barrier. They weren’t reaching out to test it now. They were tearing away at it. They were like a writhing, snarling mass. The shadows flew from their bodies, slamming into the ward as they tried to rip it apart with their claws.
Behind them, like a general watching over his army, stood the wraith. A cloaked figure impossible to make out. Dark shadows glided around its form, caressing against it, hiding it away from anyone that tried to dare steal a glimpse.
This was the thing in the dark, waiting for a chance to rip us away from those we loved. This was the monster that waited for your complacency so it could shred apart your soul. The monster fueled by monsters.
“Blake, get Jean and the kids and take them down to the basement,” I growled.
“If anything comes, let James out of the cage,” Davion almost pleaded. “At least give him a chance,” he added sadly.
“The wards are failing,” Cassia said from somewhere behind us. “We’re out of time to debate what needs to be done. Calli, you need to start pulling on the moonlight funnel.” She at least had the decency to sound sad as she told my mate to sacrifice herself so the rest of us could live.
“Absolutely not,” I roared, turning to face the rest of them. “You don’t get to tell her to die for you.”
“I know this is hard, Grey,” Cassia started.
“Hard? Hard! You’re telling my mate to sacrifice herself so you can live,” I screamed.
“No, I’m telling her to fight so that the pack, so everyone here has a chance to live. The children…” Cassia didn’t finish her sentence. What else was there to say? We needed to save the children.
“Then we all fight,” I said firmly, turning back to Calli, turning back to face the wraith and its pet shadow demons. “We face this like a pack, we stand side by side, and we fight for each other.”
I didn’t see them move. I hadn’t considered it a possibility, and it would be my greatest regret to my dying day. The blow landed swift and heavily to the back of my head. I didn’t even have a chance to see who delivered it as my legs collapsed from beneath me and my eyes rolled back in my head. The blackness rushed towards me, and even though I fought, even though my wolf clawed at the back of my mind to break free, there was no escaping the unconsciousness that swept over me.
55
Calli
My mouth hung open as I watched Grey drop to the ground at Davion’s feet. No one moved, even Tanner was shocked to the point of being rooted to the spot.
As Davion looked up at me, I was surprised to see the tears that swam in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Calli. It had to be done. You know he’d never have agreed to this.”
I nodded slowly. It was true, he’d never have allowed me to do this, but worse still, I know he’d have died at my side when he finally realised there was no choice. I couldn’t let him do that.
I looked over to where Tanner, River and Maverick were standing together. Tears already ran down River’s face. My sweet mate. It wasn’t fair that we’d had such little time together.
“He won’t understand; you have to try and make him understand,” I whispered.
Tanner moved first, pulling me into his arms. “There has to be another way. I can’t just stand here while you do this, Calli. I can’t lose you.” His voice hitched as the first sob burst from him.
“There’s no more time,” I told him gently. “This is what needs to be done.”
Tanner stepped back, and Maverick was immediately at his side, pulling him into his arms. Hopefully, this would bring the two brothers together. They’d still have each other when I was gone.
River took Tanner’s place, clutching me to him as he buried his face against my neck.
“I love you, River. I love you all so much. An eternity together would never have been long enough.”
“Don’t do this, Calli. I know it’s selfish, I know what I’m saying,
but I just, I… I can’t,” he sobbed.
“Look after Jacob for me,” I told him as I cupped his cheek with my hand and stared deep into his. “He’s going to need all of you. He’s lost so much. Try and explain to him when he’s older, try not to let him hate me for leaving him.”
River nodded, the tears falling fast and thick down his face seemed to have robbed him of his voice.
“Calli, there isn’t much time. You need to start to draw on the moonlight,” Cassia’s voice came sadly from behind River.
She was right. I could already feel the wards starting to fracture deep inside of me. We were already out of time.
River held me in his arms as I closed my eyes and started to pull on the moonlight that was starting to shine down on us. The night was still closing in, but the moon hung bright in the sky already. It was usually something I found comfort in, but not anymore. Now, it was just a sign of what needed to be done and what was being torn away from me.
I could feel the magic starting to flow inside of me as River slowly stepped away and someone else took his place. Someone unfamiliar, but familiar all at the same time.
“Maverick,” I whispered, opening my eyes as the magic surged inside me.
The moonlight funnel was open wide, and the magic was building. I knew he’d be able to see the soft glow of the moonlight shining in my eyes. It wouldn’t be long now.
“Calli, I…” Maverick looked down at his feet, lost in what he needed to say, but was unable to. I didn’t blame him. He’d been a child who’d grown up without knowing any love. How was the man he’d become supposed to be able to show it?
“It’s okay, Maverick. You don’t need to say anything. You and I,” I sighed. “They would have written stories about how much we loved each other. I’m sorry we won’t have the time for me to show you how much you deserve to be loved. Please, stay with them, stay with the pack. They’ll need you just as much as you need them.”
“It’s not fair,” he finally said. “It’s not fair that I finally found you, and we never got to be anything. When I first saw you, I should have dropped to my knees and begged you to let me love you. But I was a fool, a proud and arrogant fool. And because of that, I wasted what little, precious time I had with you.”
The magic was building higher than it ever had before. I could feel it saturating every cell in my body. It felt like my soul was being torn to shreds as my mind was slowly torn apart, but I endured it. I endured it all. Because Maverick was finally accepting that he could be loved.
“But this proud and arrogant fool can finally do something right for you, dear sweet Calli. Don’t you see, all of these broken parts of me don’t belong in a world like this. But you? You shine with a light, and you don’t even see it. You bring so much love and peace to those that you hold dear. The world cannot go on without you in it, Calli, and it shouldn’t have to. They shouldn’t have to. So take it from me, my love. Let the sacrifice be me.”
If he hadn’t been holding me, I would have staggered away from him in shock. How could he even be suggesting this?
“Your life does not mean any less than mine,” I stuttered out through gritted teeth.
The build-up was nearly over, and I couldn’t possibly contain much more. It would have to be soon, or I’d split apart just from trying to hold the magic, and all of this would be for nothing.
“Of course it does. You are the moon and the stars for us, my love.”
His lips sealed to mine in what would be the only kiss we’d shared. I tried to hold back. I tried to keep the moonlight locked down inside me, but there was just too much. Too much to hold on to.
Maverick clung to me so tightly, and even though the tears poured down both our faces, it was a kiss filled with so much love it was impossible to turn away. It held every missed moment, every stolen dream we’d never get to have, and every caress that would never be felt.
I felt his soul reach for mine, his wolf walked happily into the light, embracing his fate. I tried to cry out. I tried to fight it, to scream, to rage, do anything to stop it from happening. But I was just a vessel. The magic that filled me had taken on a life of its own. It wanted to be free, it knew its purpose, and it was ready to wreak vengeance. What had we done? What had we created?
I felt him slipping away. I felt the moment the last of his soul slipped inside me to combine with the magic. As he drew his last breath, I did the only thing I could, I tore a piece of my own soul free and shoved it inside his body, praying to anyone that was listening that it would be enough to sustain him.
Maverick fell to the ground at my feet. I would have fallen with him. I would have held him in my arms and begged him not to leave, but I couldn’t hold back the magic any longer.
Tipping back my head to the moon, to that cursed celestial body that had stolen away my choice and my mate, I screamed. I screamed out my rage and my grief. I cursed the heavens above me for what it had made me do, what it had allowed Maverick to do, and the magic finally let go of me.
It burst out of me like a wave, a tsunami of my pain and tears, carrying away from me the last part of my mate. Nothing would be able to stand against it. How could it? It had destroyed a man I didn’t get the chance to love. If it could take out something as pure as that, what chance did anything else have?
As the last of the magic left my body, I fought to stay. I fought to stay present enough that I could beg Maverick not to leave me. That I could try to heal any remnant that remained of him, but it was too much. As my eyes rolled back, as the blackness swamped me, I felt my heart tear in two, and I didn’t know if I ever wanted to wake again.
56
Tanner
As I stepped away from Calli, I felt like I was tearing my heart out and leaving it with her. This was wrong. This was so wrong.
I was already on my knees, making sure that Grey wasn’t badly hurt when I heard Maverick talking to her. I tried to ignore them as I dealt with Grey. Calli was right; he’d never forgive any of us for this. Not only were we overriding his decision as our alpha, but we’d stolen his chance to say goodbye to Calli. We didn’t deserve his forgiveness. This wrong could never be forgiven.
But then, I realised what Maverick was saying, I heard him offer up his life in place of hers. I should have thought of it first. I should have realised there was another choice to be had all along, but we’d all been too consumed by our grief to see it.
It felt wrong to watch them share their first and only kiss. To watch Calli fall apart in his arms as she tried to stop him from doing what needed to be done. I was losing a brother today, a brother I’d never had the chance to know, but I loved him anyway. He was making the ultimate sacrifice for our mate, and my heart couldn’t contain the sorrow or knowing what was about to happen. My wolf howled and thrashed inside of me. He’d been so overcome with grief, of knowing he was going to lose his mate, that he’d retreated from my mind. At first, I’d thought he was lost to me, abandoning me for failing to save her. He howled out his grief now, and as Maverick fell to the ground, Calli joined in his howl.
Her sorrow echoed through the night, and then it happened. The magic burst out of her, but it wasn’t the wave Cassia had thought it would be. The moonlight exploded out of her and took the form of a giant wolf. It glowed with the magic collected from the moonlight, and the lightning we now knew to be the magic of Maverick’s soul crackled over its fur. This was Maverick; this was his wolf fueled by the magic of our mate, making his last stand to save our pack.
The wards shattered, and I felt the snap of the rebounding magic lash across my skin, but it didn’t matter. The shadow demons were too late. They barely took one step forward before Maverick’s wolf burst into action.
Bounding forwards, it tore into them with a frenzy. The translucent nature of the shadow demons seemed to solidify at his touch the same as the other one had for Calli. They became solid in our world just in time to meet his fangs and claws as he tore through them like they were nothing but tissue paper.
The wraith shrieked in pain as the first of the shadow demons fell. The mindless creatures kept coming, fuelled only by their need to reach those amongst us who were shadow touched. All it did was bring them into his reach quicker, into his jaws. These terrifying creatures who’d torn through Davion’s clan, who’d killed poor James. These tortured souls of the shifters who were ripped from this world by the witches. They’d been born from death and terror, and it was only fitting that was how they saw their end. As the wolf consumed by magic took back what had been stolen from our people. He sought revenge for all those killed at the witches’ hands.
The shrieks of pain that came from the wraith as it clawed at its own head echoed along with the screams of the shadow demons. It was as if it could feel their pain. As if it could feel Maverick’s fangs and claws tearing into its own skin. The pitiful creature had stood in the shadows waiting to watch its pets tear us apart for something it felt was owed, but now, it's only prize was pain and retribution.
As the jaws of Maverick’s wolf closed around the neck of one of the shadow demons, the eyes of the wraith glowed red from beneath its hood, and with one final shriek, it burst in a shower of shadows that sank into the ground and disappeared. The few remaining shadow demons faded from existence, and we were suddenly alone.
The silence that surrounded us was painful. River held Calli in his arms, the relieved look on his face told me all that I needed to know. We hadn’t lost her.
“I’ll look after him,” Cassia said as her hand touched my shoulder, and she knelt beside me.
I almost didn’t want to let Grey go because I knew that when I did, the only thing left to do would be to go Maverick’s side, and I didn’t know if I could survive knowing he was gone. At least this way, there was a chance I could still accept the lie that by some miracle, Calli had been able to save him, to find something, anything to keep him with us.