Inked in the Music

by Kitt Rose

  They all looked at me like I’d grown a second head.

  “Do you like cranberry juice?” Joey asked and I nodded. “Okay. Two vodka and cranberries, sweetie.” Joey leaned over and kissed Ty’s cheek.

  “Coming right up, baby.” Ty stood and squeezed her shoulders.

  “You know they met in the men’s room here.” Dennis dropped that tidbit into the conversational void and my jaw hit the table.

  Joey scowled at him. “I already knew him. I grew up with Ty’s sister and we’d known each other forever. And it sounds way worse than it was.” And she told the story while Ty got us drinks.

  When he came back with two tall glasses filled with the dark-pink concoction, I took a cautious sip.

  “Well?” Joey asked.

  “It’s good. You’re sure there’s alcohol in here?”

  She laughed and nodded. “Jailhouse Rock” started playing and I sang along, softly under my breath. Trina surprised me and joined in, the exact opposite of softly. Soon everyone at the table was singing and Joey pulled Trina up and they started dancing.

  Trina made a move toward me and I held up my hands. “Oh, no. I don’t dance.”

  “Don’t or won’t?” Dennis asked.

  “Both?”

  He seemed thoughtful but said nothing more. We filled the rest of the evening with similar silliness. I laughed loud and often. It was almost one in the morning when Ty and Joey got up to leave, saying their goodbyes. I watched them walk out, his arm around her neck and her hand stuffed into his back pocket, and sighed. They had something special. Someday, I wanted something like that for myself.

  “I should go home too. I’ve got an early start. You okay to leave now?” Dennis asked, touching my elbow. I stood in response.

  We said our goodbyes and I followed Dennis out to his dark-gray Dodge Charger. He beeped it unlocked and climbed in. The car was pristine and smelled new. I hadn’t had time to ask on the way over, so I did now.

  “New car?”

  He patted the dash lovingly. “Yup. First one ever. I drove a lot of cars before I found one I fit in. Well, fit in comfortably at least.”

  “Yeah. I’d imagine. How tall are you?” He told me he was six-foot-seven. Dennis was literally a whole foot taller than me. “My brothers are tall but you’re like a whole new definition of the word.”

  He laughed. “Yeah. My dad’s your height and my mom’s barely five feet. I’ve towered over them since middle school. Reaching over blindly, he patted my knee. “So what do you have planned tomorrow?”

  “Um. I need to buy some clothes, find a bank, and just explore a little. Do you know if they have any coffee shops that hire musicians, or let them play for tips? There was a place back home that did that and I always wanted to try it.”

  “Yeah. There’s one that always has live music or poetry on the weekends. But I don’t know if they hire them or what. I don’t work until noon tomorrow. I could show you, take you to an early lunch.”

  “That’d be nice. Today has been kind of surreal. Thanks again for everything, Dennis.”

  “You’re very welcome. I’ve got some stuff to do at nine. How about I swing by at ten and we can head down to the coffee shop?”

  I agreed and we were silent until he pulled into the lot behind my apartment.

  He got out of the car. “I’ll walk you up.”

  I didn’t argue because I felt safer with him. More than that, I enjoyed being around him. He waited while I unlocked my door. Stepping inside, I turned and leaned against the doorjamb. “See you tomorrow.”

  He reached out and ran a finger down my cheek. I froze as he hooked his finger under my chin and tipped my face up. Shock immobilized me and I didn’t stop him when he leaned down and brushed a kiss across my forehead. I wanted to lean into him. The force of that desire took me by surprise, and I shivered.

  He hesitated, then slipped a hand behind my neck and pulled me closer. I stumbled a step forward and my muscles locked in astonishment as his lips swept over mine. He pulled back, searching my face. Whatever he saw there made him close the distance again. His lips pressed against mine, firmer this time. The blood vessels in my face tightened, heat sweeping down my neck to settle and swell in my chest.

  The kiss was unexpected and not unpleasant. His lips moved softly against mine and his hair brushed against my cheek like cool silk.

  I fumbled, trying to match his movements. Anxiety curled in my belly. I was failing. I didn’t know how to do this.

  Dennis broke the kiss, straightening. His thumb swept over my jaw. “You okay?”

  I didn’t know how to answer that.

  “Too much, too soon?”

  “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I’ve never…”

  Surprise painted his face in sharp angles. “You’ve never what? Been kissed?”

  My face heated as I nodded.

  “How the hell is that possible?”

  “I…” I floundered. I didn’t know how to answer that.

  He shook his head and his other hand came up. His big hands framed my face. Moving slowly, giving me ample time to pull away, he dipped to take my mouth once more.

  The moment his lips touched mine again, I forgot everything but the sensations he pulled from me. I knew it might happen, but I still jumped when his tongue ran across the seam of my lips.

  It was too much. Too overwhelming, and I pulled away. My heart raced and my head disconnected from my body.

  He didn’t let me go, just slid his hands down my arms to take my hands in his. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  Dazed, I nodded. He brought my knuckles to his lips, sweeping a kiss over them. With one last roguish smile, he disappeared into the night.

  On autopilot, locked up and undressed for bed. A full-length mirror hung on the back of my closet door. I looked at my reflection for a long minute. Maybe I was a little thinner than I had been four months ago when I decided to move. My hip bones jutted out and my belly was slightly concave. I dug into my suitcase and pulled out my jeans, slipping them on. The waist gaped and I could pull them off without unbuttoning them. I had lost weight.

  As always, when I looked in the mirror, I tried to look around and through the scars on my body. But my mind drifted back to the concept of tattoos. I didn’t know what designs they could do but based on the tattoos Dennis and the others had, I imagined just about anything. I pulled myself out of the thoughts. There was no point to it. I’d never be able to afford something like that. No matter how wonderful it might be to look into the mirror and see beauty instead of scars.

  Chapter Six

  Coffee

  Zirah

  Friday, September 25th

  I woke up early. Way too early. I tossed and turned for a while before I gave up and got out of bed. I threw on a pair of cotton shorts and a t-shirt and went for a run. Running wasn’t high on my list of favorite things to do but if I ever wanted a chance to be a professional musician, I needed to stay in shape.

  Fresh from the shower, I was getting dressed when someone knocked on the door. It was early still, almost eight. I hurried to the door and looked through the peephole. Joey stood there with a cup of coffee and a paper bag. Curious, I opened the door.

  “Hi. I’m sorry it’s so early. Glad I didn’t wake you. I won’t keep you, but I wanted to drop these off.”

  She handed me a bag and I peered in. It was full of clothes and I backed up inside. “Come on in. How did you know?”

  “Dennis said you didn’t have a lot of clothes. Most of these are from before I had Owen so they should fit you. I can’t seem to drop that last five or six pounds no matter how hard I try. Anyway, they’re clean and in good shape.”

  “Wow. Thank you. You didn’t have to do this. Everyone keeps giving me stuff. I’m beginning to feel indebted. Like I’ll have to give you all my firstborn or something.” I held up a pair of pants. They looked a little long, but I could hem them or roll them.

  She waved away my comment. “When I first met
Trina, I gave her clothes too. It’s someone I know, or Goodwill. You’re just helping me clean out my closet. Oh. I brought you a coffee too.” She handed me the cup and a small brown paper lunch bag. “It’s black. Creams and sugar in the bag so you can fix it however you like. I hate to drop and run but I need to go to work. I’m sure I’ll see you soon enough.”

  After she left, I poked through the bag until I found a pair of chinos and a pale-green button-up shirt. The pants fit well except for being too long. A quick cuff and they were perfect. I filled in a few scuffed spots on my pair of black flats with a Sharpie and slipped them on. Ready to go but with another hour to kill, I pulled out my violin and practiced until there was another knock at my door.

  This time, Dennis stood on the other side, ten minutes early.

  He didn’t kiss me or touch me again, keeping his hands stuffed into his pockets. I was a little relieved and a lot disappointed about it, confused idiot that I was. He took me on a little tour of the block, pointing out a few places like the studio where Joey taught dance classes. The coffee shop, Uncommon Grounds, unfortunately turned out to be a bust. They were booked solid for months.

  Dennis couldn’t seem to be able to take no for an answer.

  “You need to get her in. She’s amazing,” Dennis said, arguing with the owner, a sixtyish man with a shiny bald head and no eyebrows.

  I tried not to stare. Did he have alopecia or was this a big-city style I just didn’t understand? Considering the pink zebra print shirt he wore, anything was possible.

  “Look, I can’t get your little girlfriend in just because you think she’s amazing,” he said, voice firm but kind.

  “She’s not my girlfriend. I just met her yesterday. She played for me and my friends and blew us all away. Just give her a chance.”

  Stupid me, it hurt how he made a point in saying I wasn’t his girlfriend. I mean, I wasn’t. But his words took the little bit of a connection I felt with him and stomped it into the ground. Had our kiss yesterday been my imagination? A weird combination of fatigue and overwhelming that had caused me to hallucinate?

  Tuning out their conversation, my gaze landed on a piano tucked into the back corner. Would the owner mind if I played? The question lingered on the tip of my tongue, but you only live once. After wandering over to the piano, I slid onto the bench. A little girl sat with her mom at the table next to me. She was decked out in an Elsa costume with a plastic fireman’s hat and yellow rain boots. I smiled at her. Her mom caught me looking and rolled her eyes.

  “It was this or the boots and a tutu with no top. I went with the less embarrassing option,” the mom said.

  I giggled and asked, “Is Elsa your favorite?”

  Wide eyes solemn, she nodded.

  “Want me to play ‘Let it Go?’”

  “Yes,” she yelled, glancing at her mother a moment later, who gave her the look. “Please?”

  Smiling, I began playing. One of my nieces loved all things Disney and I knew most of the big songs by heart. “Let It Go” was one of my favorites. The little girl climbed onto the bench next to me and sang along, her sweet little voice terribly out of tune but adorable and perfect somehow. When I hit the last notes of the song, I realized we had an audience. Among the adults who had stopped to watch and listen, other kids surrounded the piano. A little girl tugged on my sleeve and I scooted over, letting her up on the bench.

  “Do you know the Little Mermaid song?” she asked quietly.

  “‘Part of Your World?’”

  She nodded and I began again.

  I called out to the kids, asking them to sing along, and soon I had an accompaniment of a half dozen little voices. I’d no sooner finished one song when they yelled out another request. I played two more songs before I realized I’d probably ruined Dennis’s chance to eat lunch.

  My selfishness embarrassed me. “Sorry, guys, I have to go.”

  A chorus of nos warmed me to my toes. Elsa’s mom thanked me as I stood, looking for Dennis. I spotted him sitting at the end of the counter eating a sandwich and talking to the owner. They both looked up as I hopped onto the stool next to Dennis.

  “I’m so sorry. I got carried away. They kept requesting things. I think I could have been there all day.”

  “No need to apologize. That was awesome. You can really sing. You that good with the guitar?” Dennis asked.

  “Um. I think I’m better with strings than a piano.”

  I wasn’t bragging and I hoped he saw that. I didn’t want him to think badly of me. How much I wanted that scared me a little. Or maybe a lot.

  “Roger and I came up with something while we were watching you play. He gets a lot of moms in here on weekdays, late morning. On a trial basis, he’s agreed to pay you to come in and play every Wednesday morning for the kids.”

  Excitement shone in the bald man’s eyes. “I’ll bill it as a Mommy and Me day. If they’re occupied, mom’s more likely to stay a little longer, get a second drink, and maybe a bite to eat.”

  I nodded. It made sense.

  “Until we see how it does, I can’t offer you more much more than minimum wage, but you can put out a tip jar and I’ll make sure you get some time at least one weekend a month, if you want it.”

  “Yes. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much!” I clapped my hands and bounced in my seat until I realized that I was acting like a twelve-year-old.

  Roger grinned. “No, thank you. That was really something to see. A regular Pied Piper.”

  Dennis finished his sandwich and he stood. “I need to get to work. Sorry I don’t have more time. But if I’m late, it comes out of my pocket.”

  “Oh, no. It’s fine. I don’t think I could eat anyway. Too excited.”

  I followed Dennis back outside. On impulse, I grabbed his hand and stopped. When he turned around, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. He didn’t hesitate. His arms came up around me and squeezed me gently.

  “Thank you,” I said, pulling back.

  “You’re welcome.” He grinned and tapped me on the chin. “You heading home?”

  I nodded and he took my hand. His large one swallowed mine.

  “I gotta ask. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-four,” I said with a frown. “Why?”

  Dennis shrugged. “You look younger. I’ve got four years on you. So tell me something about you I don’t know.”

  I laughed. “Well, that’s a whole lot. Do you want to know something in particular?”

  “How about I ask something and answer it too? Then you ask something and so on. That sound good?”

  I nodded and he didn’t even pause. “Tell me about your parents. I’m adopted. I know nothing about my birth parents, but my adopted ones are awesome. Helen’s my mom and Will is my dad. They’re both musicians. A little disappointed that I didn’t follow in their footsteps but they’re cooler than some might be with my career choice. They retired a few years back and live in Florida now. I miss them.” He motioned that it was my turn.

  I hated that he wanted to know this. I didn’t want to talk about that, but he’d asked, and he’d been so nice … so I told him the truth I’d believed my whole life. “My mom’s name is Sandra. I’ve never met my dad.”

  After a beat, he asked, “What does your mom do?”

  “Take up space.” It slipped out rather bitterly. “She can’t keep a job. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to leave it at that. Did you go to college?”

  “Not really. I took some community college classes while I was apprenticing but school was never my thing. You?”

  “No. I had to drop out of high school and get my GED so I could start working.”

  He stopped walking. “What? What do you mean you had to?”

  “Well, my sister got divorced and she didn’t have a job. Her ex didn’t have a job either and ended up in jail drunk driving, so no child support coming in. I was working a lot. I had three jobs right then and I worked overnights and I kept falling asleep in class so…”


  “I’m sorry but that’s fucked up.”

  I flushed.

  “You shouldn’t have had that on you.” He shook his head. “No one should have that dumped on their shoulders that young.”

  We reached the tattoo shop and he pulled me to a stop. Dennis leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you real soon.”

  I watched him head into Ink’d before starting back to my apartment. Then I set to work making my new place more like home… The way a home should be.

  Chapter Seven

  Interested

  Zirah

  Saturday, October 10th

  I found it hard to believe that I’d been here for two weeks already. Dennis and Hank had helped me get an actual bed and some other things into the apartment. I found it through Roger—my boss at Uncommon Grounds.

  A friend of his had been moving to Arizona and needed to clear out his house. I bought his queen-size mattress and platform frame, a nightstand, an end table, and a coffee table. My flea market finds of a wooden table and three chairs gave me a desk and a place to eat.

  Besides my Wednesdays at the coffee shop, I’d gotten a job up the street as a pharmacy technician at Cooke’s Drug. I’d taken to stopping into Ink’d Majesty on my way to or from work every day. I enjoyed talking to Trina and the rest of the staff. But the real reason I went was to see Dennis. There was nothing to do but admit it. I had a huge crush on him.

  But even with as much as I’d seen him, both in and out of Ink’d, he hadn’t tried to kiss me again. Sure, he held my hand and rubbed my back, stuff like that. But he also did that with Joey, Trina, and everyone else. It made me anxious in a way I didn’t like to see him touching them. I was pretty sure he’d changed his mind about liking me.

  This morning, I’d made blueberry muffins for breakfast. Dennis was supposed to open today and whenever he was the first one in, he’d come around eight and spend an hour hanging out with me. Sometimes he walked me to work.

  I’d never known someone outside of my family that I knew as well as Dennis. He was so open. I envied him that, his ability to be himself without reservations.