by Kitt Rose
“Okay, but that doesn’t automatically mean it’s bad. You shouldn’t assume the worst. It might be nothing about you. Maybe it’s business-related?”
She shook her head, but her eyes had cleared, some spark returning.
“Why don’t you ask him tomorrow, when you’re both sober?”
“Yeah. I think I will. Thanks, Z.” She smiled tentatively and bumped her shoulder into mine. She was quiet for a few minutes and I watched the people at the bar fight over free shots. After a while, she cursed.
“What?”
“Shit.” She jerked her head toward the dancefloor.
I followed her gaze past Joey and my stomach dropped. Dennis was dancing with a girl. I didn’t know her and couldn’t recall ever having seen her before. She had platinum-blonde hair, bright-red lipstick, and the shortest skirt I’d ever seen.
She had her hands all over Dennis. As I watched, she slid a hand down his broad back, stroking his ponytail. My heartbeat accelerated, knocking hard against my ribs. I couldn’t place if I was angry or hurt, but I bet it was something in between.
“Who is that?” I asked Trina, my eyes glued on them. On the fact that Dennis wasn’t doing anything to stop her. To be fair, he wasn’t really touching her more than dancing required, but he wasn’t stopping her. And he definitely should have stopped her.
But no, he was talking to her, with a slight smile on his face. A familiar and affectionate smile.
“Ella,” Trina said.
My stomach dropped like a lead weight. “His ex, Ella? That Ella?”
She nodded and pain swelled inside. Oh, God, this hurt. I was so far out of my depth. “Um… What do I do, Trina?”
“Shit. I don’t know. If it was Hank, I’d go out there and pull that bleach-blonde hair straight outta her head for handling my man like that, but that doesn’t seem like your style. Go cut in?”
I shook my head and watched at Dennis brushed her hair back from her face. The gesture was tender and that was it. I’d had enough. I sprang to my feet.
“I need to go home.” My sinuses burned and my eyes itched with unshed tears. But I refused to let them fall.
Trina stood and followed me toward the front of the club. I couldn’t stop looking back.
And then Ella-the-ex went up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. And Dennis, my boyfriend, didn’t pull away.
I was so done.
Trina frowned back at them. “Asshole. Do you have money to get home, sweetie? Do you want me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “I’ll walk, it’s not too far.” It was maybe a twenty-minute walk.
“Call me when you get home? What do you want me to tell him?”
“Nothing. Just that I went home. I left a change of clothes and some toiletries at his house. I was going to spend the night.” Now the tears I’d been fighting welled up in my eyes.
“I’ll take care of it. I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t believe…”
I nodded and hurried out the door. Her sympathy hurt, intensifying the feeling of betrayal that roiled in my gut.
Chapter Fifteen
Happy
Zirah
The beautiful night mocked me. A dazzlingly bright moon and thousands of stars shone overhead in a cloudless sky. The temperature had dropped, but I relished the chill on my skin. The tremors that shuddered through my body distracted me from the storm inside me.
Not enough, but some.
I walked along the main streets, keeping under the soft pools of the street lamps. People, mostly college kids, walked in groups. Laughter rang from somewhere up ahead.
At least someone was enjoying themselves tonight.
My phone rang about ten minutes after I stormed out of the club. I saw Dennis’s name on the caller ID and declined the call.
It immediately rang again. I declined again.
It rang once again. Dashing away the moisture that slipped down my cheek, I answered. “Go back to dancing with Ella, Dennis.” And I hung up.
He called right back.
“What?”
“Damn it. Where are you?” No music played in the background. No heavy thump of bass. Where he was, it was quiet there.
“I’m on my way home.”
“What street are you on?”
I heard a siren in the call’s background. A moment later, the same siren sounded behind me too in a weird stereo.
He was out here too? Chasing me? I stopped and turned around, scanning the street behind me. Downtown was alive with people moving from one bar to another. Above all the others, one dark head stood out. He saw me the same moment I spotted him.
Looking at him, I said into the phone, “Go back to the club, Dennis. I really don’t want to do this.”
“Too bad. Why did you leave?” he asked, his steps quickening to close the distance.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I’d seen enough of another woman all over you, kissing you, and you doing nothing to stop it. Maybe because my definition of boyfriend means that isn’t okay.”
“Damn it. It wasn’t like that. Ella’s just a friend now. That’s all, really.”
“Do you think I’m dumb? I saw her kiss you. I saw her hands all over you. That’s not just a friend. She was touching you like I … like someone interested in a guy touches him. She was flirting with you, damn it. That was not just friends. Friends don’t do that.”
“It was for me. I mean, that’s all it meant to me—a friend.”
He was almost to me now and I debated taking off. I’d become very familiar with downtown. It wouldn’t be much to slip into an alley and disappear. Eventually, he’d find me. He knew where I lived, where I worked, and all my friends.
But another part of me, a huge part of me, wanted him to reach me. As stupid as it made me, I wanted to believe him.
My feet wouldn’t move. I disconnected my phone as he got within a few feet of me. He tucked his phone into the pocket of his jeans.
Reaching out, he cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry I upset you. It really wasn’t anything to me. I don’t feel that way about Ella anymore. She’s just a friend. I like you. Not her.”
He stepped closer and I closed my eyes, letting him pull me into his arms. I inhaled the warm incense scent of him and let out a shaky breath. “Dennis, even Trina thought it was something. How am I not supposed to think something’s going on?”
“Shit. I’m sorry. Most of the girls I’ve dated haven’t really cared about that stuff. I didn’t think…”
I was horrified that anyone would be okay with that and it must have shown on my face.
“I keep forgetting how new this all is to you,” he said.
That made me mad. I jerked free from his grasp. “That’s not what this is about. Trina thought it wasn’t right too and Trina’s not new to ‘all this.’ Don’t write off my dislike of your actions on my inexperience. What you did back there crossed a line, Dennis.”
“God damn it. Nothing happened.”
“She kissed you! How is that nothing?” I yelled, frustrated and hurt.
Someone walking by threw in his two cents. “Not cool, dude.”
Dennis lashed out, shoving the guy. “Mind your own fucking business.”
“Dennis! Stop it,” I screamed as the guy he’d shoved pushed him back.
But he didn’t stop.
I turned and ran. I had to get out of there.
Dennis called out after me, but I didn’t slow. I didn’t stop until I reached my apartment building and the foot of my stairs. My cheeks were icy as tears streaked down my face.
When Dennis’s hand landed on my shoulder I spun, startled.
He grabbed my hand without a word and pulled me up the stairs. I had to half-run to keep up with his long, angry strides.
When we got to my door, he held out his hand and I fished the key out of my pocket and gave it to him.
Why the hell wasn’t I demanding he let me go? I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t told him to leave. After unlocki
ng the door, he gently pushed me inside, closing and locking the door behind us.
“Damn, you’re fast,” he complained, dropping onto my couch, his hands on his knees.
“Maybe you’re just slow,” I teased before I thought about it. He smiled up at me and all teasing disappeared from his face when the hint of humor vanished from mine. “I’m not okay with what happened tonight. I’m not okay with seeing someone with their hands all over you. Seeing someone kiss you. I’m not okay with that. I like you a lot, but if that’s okay with you and you honestly don’t see the problem, then maybe we aren’t a good match. Maybe it’d be best to part ways as friends now before we get any more involved.”
“Fuck that.” He stood up and stalked over to me.
It was all I could do not to run.
“I know you have some self-esteem issues. I get why. But have I given you any reason to think I didn’t want to be with you anymore? I mean, hell, I wanted you to stay the night with me.”
“Dennis, I don’t doubt that you want me, in that way. But that’s different from wanting to be with me and only me. And that’s the only way I’m okay with this.”
“Jesus, Zirah. I like you. I really like you. Not just in that way but in every fucking way. And I’m only with you. Hasn’t been anyone but you since that first day I met you. Isn’t that enough for you?”
I hesitated. “It made me uncomfortable and it hurt my feelings to see you letting someone touch and kiss you like that. I know you’re affectionate. But can you just, I don’t know, be more aware of what it does to me to see that?”
He sighed and wrapped me in his arms. “Yes. I can do that. I’m sorry. And can you talk to me about this stuff before you just take off on me? I’m not a mind reader. If something upsets you, tell me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“Okay. I’m sorry I left without talking to you.”
“And I’m sorry I hurt you. Believe me, you’ve occupied all of my thoughts lately, there isn’t anyone else. Not like that.”
Warmth spread through my chest as he kissed me softly, briefly. “I really, really want to continue this conversation but we need to get back to the club. I don’t want to miss it.”
“Miss what?” I asked as he ushered me back out the door, locking it for me.
“You’ll see. Hopefully, we didn’t miss it.” He pulled out his phone and texted Ty. I read as he typed, he do it yet? Ty came back a moment later with negative.
Dennis hailed a cab as soon as we hit the street and pulled me into the back seat, telling the driver where we were going.
My face burned when I realized I’d have to go back inside after I stormed out like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum.
“Hey. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Dennis said. His big hands framed my face and his lips brushed against mine softly.
And then he deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against mine. Everything inside me sighed in relief. I doubted that Dennis and I would be together forever, it just wasn’t practical to think that way about my first relationship, but I really wasn’t ready for it to be over. I liked him, a lot. Maybe too much.
The cab driver cleared his throat and we pulled ourselves apart. Dennis looked at the meter, peeled some bills off, and passed them over the seat before hustling me back inside. I didn’t have time to be embarrassed as he sat down at the table and tugged me into his lap. Trina shot me a tentative smile and I returned it before I buried my face in Dennis’s neck.
When I sat back, I caught Joey looking at me with a soft smile on her face. Ty stroked the back of her neck absentmindedly, his eyes searching for something. His posture changed and I felt Dennis sit up a little straighter.
“Here it comes,” he whispered in my ear.
I scanned the room somewhat frantically, trying to figure out what he was talking about. Here what comes? I didn’t see—
The music cut off and a spotlight snapped on over the dancefloor. Two large men in club shirts cleared the floor, herding the dancers to either side. A second later, Hank appeared from the DJ booth, stepping onto the floor with a microphone.
“Hi, folks,” he said into the microphone. “Everyone having a good time tonight?”
People called back all manner of things, “Get the hell off the dancefloor,” and “Hell yeah,” being the most dominant.
He laughed. “Tonight’s my birthday.”
A chorus of birthday wishes rang out.
“Thank you. Thank you. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted this year, being a big year and all. Dirty thirty,” he called and the crowd echoed him. He waited until the catcalls faded before he continued. “And then it came to me, the one thing I really wanted.”
My jaw dropped as he walked over to our table and pulled Trina to her feet. Taking her hand, he backed them up until they stood under the spotlight.
Hank dropped to one knee. The crowd cheered and cooed.
“Yekaterina Vetrov, I’m not a wordsmith like some…” He coughed out Ty, and our table laughed. “Flowery thoughts just aren’t me but you gotta know I love you. So fucking much. You’ve stood by me through a lot and you’ve given up a lot just to be with me, even when I was too big of a dick to really notice. But I noticed. It just took me a little while to pull my head outta my ass. Will you make my birthday, the rest of my birthdays, perfect? Will you marry me, Trina?”
Her scream was piercing as she threw herself at him. “Yes!” echoed over the mic. “God damn it! You’ve been acting so fucking weird I thought you were breaking up with me, you dick!”
Laughter rang out all around us and she glued her mouth to Hank’s. The DJ came up and pried the mic out of Hank’s hand and offered his congratulations, gently nudging them off the dancefloor. When they finally separated, Hank pulled a box out of his pocket. Even over the music and conversation we heard her scream again as she snatched the ring out of the box, sliding it on.
A second later, she was in front of me, pulling me to my feet and screaming excitedly in my ear.
I hugged her tightly. “I’m so happy for you, Trina. Let me see!”
She put her hand in mine and I oohed appreciatively. Her ring had a red stone surrounded by small black ones, set in a black and silver band. It was very Trina.
“It’s beautiful, Trina.”
She moved on to Joey and Dennis turned me around to face him, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “See why I wanted to come back?”
I nodded and climbed back into his lap, feeling very emotional and happy. It wasn’t exactly what most people would call romantic, but it was so very them. Trina liked spectacles and Hank had given her one, complete with a plethora of swear words.
Over the course of the night, patrons kept giving our table shots. I tried a sip or two of a few but didn’t really drink any of them. But it was fun to watch the rest of my friends dissolve into drunkenness. Dennis especially was almost giddy. And his hands were on me constantly. I swiped his fancy phone and snapped pictures of everyone, giggling to myself at what I imagined their reactions would be sober.
It was late, or early depending on how you looked at it, when we broke up to go home. Dennis and I went back to his house hand in hand. It wasn’t a long walk, but it was far too long with the way he was looking at me, the way his hand would brush against my butt, the side of my breast. The way he’d press me up against a fence and kiss me senseless before pulling us back into motion. We barely made it through the door before I was on him. I was so turned on I couldn’t wait. I went for his belt, yanking open his pants and palming his erection.
He reached behind me and locked the door, backing me into it. After making quick work of my jeans, he pulled me into his arms and lifted me, lining up the important parts, and then he froze. “Fuck. Condom. In my wallet.”
I dug my hand into his back pocket and flipped open his wallet, grabbing a condom. I tore open the package and rolled it on him. As soon as I pulled my hand away, I was back in the air, my back pressed into t
he door as he slowly pushed inside me. I banged my head on the door, moaning at the feel of him. He thrust, harder and faster, and I tore at his shirt, yanking it off him.
“Oh, my… Wow,” I breathed. It blew me away how good this felt. How good he felt. Was it like this for everyone? Every time? I grabbed his face and guided him down to my mouth, thrusting my tongue into his.
“Shit. Fuck. I’m going to come.” His motions became erratic and a little frantic.
My back slammed into the door twice before he stilled. Dropping his forehead to my shoulder, he breathed.
And then we were moving. He carried me down the hall to the bedroom, dropping me on the bed. He took care of the condom and crawled up between my legs, his hands parting my thighs as he went. He dipped a thumb inside me and his mouth found my clitoris.
He sucked and licked and caressed me until I was stretched so tight and then his mouth disappeared and I moaned a complaint. He laughed softly, crawling up my body to reach over me, digging in his nightstand. Somehow, he was hard again. That couldn’t be normal but there it was. He rolled on another condom and then he thrust into me, hard and fast. I clawed at his back as I came almost instantly, mewling. He stilled for a moment, letting me recover. His mouth, though, continued to explore.
When I was moaning and squirming against him again, he started once more. And I was lost. So lost in him.
He was playful. Dennis kept stopping and moving me, repositioning. When he turned me onto my stomach and lifted my hips in the air, I screamed into the pillow at the sensation. I spoke nonsense, repeated myself senselessly. He chuckled and reached around my hips, his finger finding and stroking my clitoris.
I exploded around him for the second time. Only his arm around my hips kept me from falling on my face. He chased his orgasm. When he slammed deep and shuddered against me, my name on his lips was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
We collapsed to the mattress and he pulled me onto my side, spooning me.
I was drifting off to sleep when he whispered to me. “Zirah?”
I twisted in his arms to face him, meeting his eyes. “Dennis?”