by Kitt Rose
After that intense bit of conversation, things were more relaxed and less serious. She took me back into the living room and I said hi to my mom who, unsurprisingly, looked drunk. She gushed over the slippers and then made a racial slur about Dennis in the next breath. Fortunately, Andy cut in and told me our time was just about up. I told everyone I loved them and we disconnected.
“Was that okay?” Dennis asked me quietly, and I nodded, climbing back into his lap and tucking my face into his chest. He stroked my hair.
“Thank you. That was hard, but so good. Swimming?” I asked.
He beamed, standing and carrying me to the bedroom to get changed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Trouble
Zirah
Thursday, December 31st
“Shit, you look hot, babe.” Trina stood back, admiring her handiwork.
She’d done my hair, makeup, and dressed me in something I never would have considered a few months ago. My hair was piled on my head in big curls and my makeup was worthy of the cover of Cosmo.
“I hardly recognize myself. And this dress…” Calling it a dress was being generous. But the metallic champagne color set off the red in my hair. I had to wear stick-on cups because the dress was so low in the back. Spaghetti straps left my shoulders mostly bare and crisscrossed down my back to my hips.
“I’m thinking about something like this for my bridesmaids. Seeing it on you kind of seals the deal for me. Put those shoes on, sweetie, you’re going to need to practice walking.”
I just about choked at the idea of this as a bridesmaid dress, but somehow, it was strangely appropriate for Trina. The shoes added a full five inches to my height. I’d been practicing walking in them since Monday, so I felt comfortable. As comfortable as heels would ever feel.
Trina wore a bright-red dress that barely covered her butt. The top dipped down to her navel with one buckle just below her breasts. “How do you wear underwear with that?” I asked out of morbid curiosity.
“I don’t,” she said.
Geez, why did I ask? “That’s got to be … drafty.”
Trina’s tinkling laugh filled my apartment. “Let’s hit the bricks, baby,” she said.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my jacket. Joey, her friend Aimee, Trina, Song, and I had reservations for a dinner. Later, we’d be meeting the guys at the club. Trina and I grabbed a cab.
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you for a small favor,” Trina said as the driver pulled away from the curb.
I twisted to look at her. “Okay?”
“Would you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?” she asked.
My mouth worked, but no words came out. I nodded, smiling hugely.
Trina clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh, yay! I’m so glad you said yes. So it’s gonna be, my cousin, Joey, Song, and you. Hank’s got Ty, Gumby, Mitch, and my brother—”
“You have a brother?” I blurted. In all our conversations, Trina had never hinted she had siblings.
“Yes, I have a brother,” she said with a laugh. “Damien. Like the devil, because he surely is the anti-Christ. Little half-brother. Different father, same mother. He’s nine years younger than me. Just a baby, turned twenty-one last month.”
“Wow. I can’t believe I’ve never heard about him before.”
Trina shrugged. “We don’t have a lot in common. He is … reserved. He’s going to school to be a teacher. We are night and day, but I love him.”
I fell silent, watching the world fly by the window of the cab.
Soon, we pulled up to Mangia. The rest of the girls were already seated in a huge round booth. Two bottles of wine and various appetizers covered the table.
Joey looked sheepish. “Sorry, we started without you.”
Trina shrugged. “Just means I don’t have to wait for the booze.” She grabbed a breadstick. “Or food. So Z said yes to being in my wedding.”
Song raised a dark eyebrow. “You say it like Hank isn’t involved.”
I’d sorta caught that too.
Trina snorted. “Oh, the only thing he needs to be involved in is showing up. This is my day, my show.”
I shook my head. “You really are too much.”
“Aren’t I, though?” she asked, sounding smug. Holding up one hand, she blew on her nails and polished them on her chest.
Song passed me a glass of white wine and I sipped.
Joey held up her glass, winking. “Well, Hank knew what he was getting into when he asked her to marry him. So welcome to the Trina show.”
Gulping her wine, Song said, “Twenty bucks says they fuck in the church.”
My wine went down the wrong pipe and I choked. Trina patted my back while I coughed.
Song shrugged, gesturing at Trina with her glass. “Oh, come on. You know they totally would. The number of times I’ve caught them in the break room is ridiculous.”
“Once,” Trina said, holding up one blood-red tipped finger. “It happened one time.”
“I’ve walked in on you guys going at it at least a dozen times,” Song shot back, narrowing her eyes.
“Nope. We were not fucking. You’ve walked in on—”
Before I heard a bunch of details I never wanted to know, I interrupted. “That’s not what shocked me.”
Trina raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”
“I was more surprised that you wouldn’t catch on fire walking into a church. You are a creature of the night, right?” Somehow, I kept a straight face until Joey snorted. The sound rolled into a full belly laugh.
Song held up a fist, demanding I bump it. “Respect.”
And that set off the table. I covered my mouth, laughing, while I tapped my fist on Song’s.
Trina clutched at her chest in mock pain. “I can’t believe that burn came from you. Sweet and innocent my ass.” She snickered. “Speaking of you. So when are you and Dennis making it official?”
The laughter slipped from me. “Making what official?”
“Moving in, getting a ring, you know, doing something to take things to the next level,” Trina said. “Tell me you’ve at least talked about it.”
“Oh, no. It’s too soon. I mean, we’ve only been together since October. I thought saying ‘I love you’ was kinda quick. And I don’t want to rush things and mess everything up.” I shifted in the booth, uncomfortable.
Song patted my hand. “He’s crazy about you. Talks about you all the time. And just because Trina would get married on a dare doesn’t mean you should.”
“Yeah, and he took you to meet his parent at Christmas,” Joey said, sounding defensive. “That’s a big step.”
Aimee, who I didn’t really know, was the only one who seemed to notice how uncomfortable the topic made me. She asked Trina about her wedding dress, effectively moving conversation away from me.
After dinner, we headed to the club. We had a suite this time, a private little cubby with a couch and bottle service. Joey linked her arm with mine, talking excitedly. She and Ty were talking about having another child, which was a big deal because he’d kind of freaked before Owen was born. Apparently, their sweet little boy came as a nasty surprise initially. Ty had big-time daddy issues, according to Joey. Obviously, things had changed because a blind person could see how crazy Ty was about his kid, and now they were entertaining having another.
When we got into view of the suite, Joey swore softly under her breath. I jerked my eyes up to see what she was looking at. Ty watched her with a deep intensity that was electrifying. Even I felt the heat in his gaze. I released her arm so she could go do … whatever and that was when I saw Dennis. His back was to me and he was talking animatedly to someone. When he shifted, I glimpsed platinum-blonde hair. A greasy feeling rolled through my stomach.
I skirted the dancefloor, the girls all occupied with their respective men and not paying attention to me. A few more steps and the blonde’s face came into view. Ella.
Muscles knotted and I swallowed down the jealousy and betrayal. I debated run
ning away. But I didn’t. God help me, I grabbed a drink and sat down. I knew I was being ridiculous. Dennis was allowed to talk to other women—even that woman. As much as I didn’t like them even being in the same room.
Wood sat down across from me and I forced myself to make polite chitchat. He was telling me about his latest trivia night when the seat next to me dipped. A warm hand landed on my back.
Even without the scent of incense that clung to him, I would have known it was Dennis. My body was aware of him on another level. His touch seemed to ignite every single cell under his hand. The burn spread through the rest of me.
I turned. He looked so handsome, so big and larger than life. His smile called mine out of hiding and he leaned in.
“Wow. Just wow. Trina?”
I nodded.
“Remind me to fucking kiss her. You look amazing.”
I flushed deeply and caught Ella watching us out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing an unbelievably slutty-looking outfit… Not that I could talk with what I was wearing.
“You look pretty hot yourself. I love when you leave your hair loose. Makes me want to bury my fingers in it and kiss you silly.”
“Kiss me silly, huh?” A smile grew on his face. “I have no problem with that. None whatsoever.” And with that, he wrapped a hand behind my head and pulled my face to his.
Perfume, something cloying and expensive, drowned out the scent of my Dennis. I pulled away.
“What’s wrong?” He paused, his lips millimeters from mine.
“You smell like perfume.”
He frowned. “It’s probably Sara’s. She’s got kind of a thing for Ty, so anytime he’s around, she openly flirts with anything that moves.”
“Or maybe it was Ella’s.” I regretted saying it immediately.
“Look, Z, I don’t want to fight. She is just a friend. I’m here with you. You’re the only one I want. So can we just have fun?”
I forced myself to smile and nod.
“Dance with me?” he asked in a soft voice. “Don’t say no, I’ll do all the work. Only thing you need to do is put your hands on me and stay close.” His smirk warmed me and made my stomach flip in a delightful way, chasing away my unease.
“Okay,” I whispered, and he tugged me to my feet, leading me to the dancefloor. He rested one hand on my waist and brought the other to his chest, my hand clutched in it. I held him close and let him guide me, with his body and whispered words. When he twirled me, laughter bubbled out of my throat.
We danced for three songs before Dennis led me back to the booth. I took the seat next to Wood while Dennis headed to the bathroom. Wood and I settled back into conversation. We didn’t talk about much but I learned that he’d been a band geek and still played the oboe with a community group. It was volunteer only and they were always looking for new members. The next practice was in two weeks. We exchanged numbers and he offered to take me to the next session.
Dennis slid in next to me. “Should I be concerned that you’re exchanging phone numbers with Wood?” There was a thread of humor in his tone but it felt like a serious question.
“Wood’s part of a volunteer symphony and they have a practice in a couple weeks. He’s going to take me with him so I can see about joining.”
His smile was radiant and he carefully picked me up and set me on his lap. My dress rode up my thighs and Dennis used the tip of his index finger to trace the musical staff inked on my skin. I felt that one touch through my entire body. Turning my head toward him, I snaked an arm behind his neck and pulled him close, kissing him lightly. When Ty and Joey settled in on the other side of the booth, Dennis and Joey started talking about a previous New Year’s celebration that didn’t go very well. They had us in stitches. This led to Ty telling a few stories of his own. Even I had a New Year’s story to tell. We talked and laughed. It felt great to belong.
When a song came on that Joey liked, she dragged Dennis out onto the dancefloor and I headed to the bathroom. I was in the stall when I heard two girls come in.
“Did you see what she was wearing? So not a good choice.” The first girl laughed.
The second girl made a sound of agreement. “What about Dennis’s new chick? Did you see her? What is he thinking? She looks like she’s twelve, and hello, boring!”
“El, he’s on the rebound. She’s obviously a huge step down for him. But it’s not like you want him anymore, right?”
“Well…”
“Holy shit! You totally do!”
“Yeah, well—”
I must have made a noise or something because suddenly they stopped talking. The door opened a moment later.
That greasy feeling was back, churning in my stomach. The odds that this was some other Dennis and that “El” wasn’t Ella were slim to none. I lingered in the bathroom, trying to get my head straight before heading back out. I was halfway across the club when the countdown to midnight started. Dennis wasn’t in the suite so I headed toward the dancefloor.
And then I spotted him.
He stood in a group of familiar faces. Ty and Joey, Trina and Hank… Dennis and Ella.
Ella and he stood close, looking at each other. My eyes were on him as I stood frozen. The DJ counted down “Three, two, one.”
The club rang with shouts and cheers as one year rolled into the next. I watched, only ten feet away, as Ella went up on her toes and kissed my boyfriend. It wasn’t chaste. And he didn’t pull away.
I spun around, heading back to the booth. A strange numbness sank into my bones.
“Hey, you okay?” Wood touched my shoulder, concern in his face.
I shook my head. I was pretty far from okay. “No. As soon as Dennis comes back, I’m gone.”
“What’s wrong?”
I laughed, a brittle and bitter sound. “Oh, you know, the usual. Caught my boyfriend kissing his ex…”
“Shit. Idiot.”
My gaze snapped up and he shook his head.
“Not you. Him. You’re gorgeous. And sweet, and easy to talk to. What are you going to do?”
I was saved from answering by a hand on my back. A gentle caress that made pain lance through my heart. I turned and stepped back from him.
He smiled down at me but that smile disappeared as he took in my expression. “Shit. You saw that.”
I nodded, wordlessly. “I’m going home. Don’t follow me. I need some space.”
I walked past him. He grabbed my arm hard enough that I flinched. “Shit. Damn it.” He dropped his hand and took my shoulders gently. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. She kissed me. For New Year’s. New Year’s kiss and all that. I kissed Trina and Phini too. Hell, even Hank kissed me, sick fuck.”
Laughter bubbled out of my throat. “Dennis, I heard her in the bathroom with her friend not five minutes ago talking about how she wanted you back. I just can’t…”
I pulled out of his hands and walked toward the door. He followed me, not talking, just a presence at my back. And then, like some cosmically bad joke, Ella came out of nowhere. She gave me a look dripping with disdain before her gaze slid past me to Dennis. Her expression turned wanton, her chin tilted back as her eyes went heavy-lidded. The overall effect was so sexually charged that a blind man could have seen it. She brushed past me and wrapped her arms around Dennis’s waist in a hug far too close for my comfort. Dennis stood still, looking down at her with a curious expression on his face.
Realization dawned in his eyes. But it was too late. The damage was done and I ran for the door.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Break
Dennis
Friday, January 1st
I should not fucking be here. It was too early. I was still too drunk. Definitely too mad. Nothing good would come out of this, but still, I climbed the staircase. The stairs wavered, metal shifting and moving under my feet. I gripped the railing, squeezing my eyes closed for a moment and willing the world to stop moving.
Zirah left me. She fucking left. Blew one tiny m
istake completely out of proportion. The fire that curled in my gut made me pound on her door. Time passed. Some part of me realized this anger might be misdirected. But anger was easier to manage than fear and pain.
Minutes passed that felt like hours. Impatient, I put my fist to the door again.
“I’m coming. Hold your horses,” Zirah said through the metal.
Something squirmed in my chest, slippery and cold that I couldn’t catch. I busied myself, running a hand down my hair. My fingers tangled in the knots.
I hadn’t been to bed yet. Most of the past few hours were a blur of color and noise.
The door finally swung open. Zirah stood there, looking small and terribly young. Her beautiful eyes were swollen and bloodshot. Oversized flannel pajamas swallowed her, the dark gray washing out her skin and making her pale.
That squirming thing twisted, spiraling into my gut.
I sighed in relief. She’d opened the door. I hadn’t been sure she would.
“Z, can we talk?”
She stepped back, wordlessly inviting me inside. Her expression was hard to read, part wistful and part angry.
I blew out a breath and collapsed on her couch, dropping my head into my hands. My shoulders tensed when I picked up my pounding head and met her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you felt like you needed to leave. I couldn’t fucking sleep. This has got me all twisted up.”
“Dennis, you hurt me. A lot.” She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “I’ve tried to ignore it, but I can’t. I’ve asked you not to do it, but you do. The flirting, even unconsciously, and the touching, bother the heck out of me. I’m not…” She shook her head, tangled hair tumbling around her pale face. “I’m not confident enough to sit five feet away and watch that happen. I love you, so much, but I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused.”
“Seriously? That’s what this is about?”
Her back stiffened. “No! Not entirely. This is about you kissing your ex-girlfriend. On the lips,” she whispered and the calm façade dissolved in tears.