by Holly Renee
For a moment, it bothered me that she was so shocked by what I was saying. She had never seen Beck act like this before. She had told me that Beck had always been kind, even if he was always untouchable.
But I couldn’t fathom thinking of Beck as kind. He had been the farthest thing from kind that I had ever met.
Except for those few moments before I knew the real him.
“This party won’t be like that.” She dropped a clean fork in the bin and grabbed another. “This is a Clermont High party. None of those Prep boys ever show up.”
“Really?” Even as she said it, I knew it still probably wasn’t a good idea.
“Yeah. Even your brother doesn’t show his face around there.” She cut her hand through the air. “They draw the line in the sand of who they think is important or not. It’s all about money.”
I winced. Even though I didn’t touch my father’s money, I was still benefiting from it. I was living in his large home and driving one of his extra cars. I never worried about bills or meals, and I felt guilty for it.
Even though that was insane, I couldn’t shake it.
“So, it’ll be safe?”
“Yes.” She dropped her feet and turned toward me with a smile on her face. “Plus, there are some guys who I go to school with that I could introduce you to.”
I laughed, but my stomach tightened as I thought about Beck. “I don’t think having a guy should be anywhere on my radar right now.”
“You don’t have to date them.” She rolled her eyes, and I swear mine practically bugged out. “It’s called friends with benefits, Josie.”
I didn’t want to tell her that I was very limited on experience where benefits were involved. I was seventeen years old, and most girls my age were far more experienced than me.
I wasn’t ashamed of the fact, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel the slightest bit embarrassed and behind.
My only sexual experience had been awkward and unpleasurable, consisting of a boy’s hand down my pants who had no idea what he was doing.
I threw my towel at Allie’s head as my cheeks reddened. “I am not getting a friend with benefits.”
“Why not?” She laughed, and the way she smiled made it feel like the idea was the simplest thing to her. “You holding out for a hate fuck from Beck?”
My mouth dropped open, and she threw her head back in laughter. “I was just kidding.” She held up her hands. “Unless you are?”
I shook my head quickly, but I swear my stomach felt like there was a rubber band being pulled tightly inside it. I felt like it may snap at any moment.
“Oh my God. Are you a virgin?”
“Shh.” I leaned forward and slammed my hand down on her mouth.
“You are.” Her words were muffled around my hand, and her eyes bulged out of her face.
“Would you shut up?”
“No one else is here.” She waved around us, and I let go of her mouth. “The guys in the kitchen can’t hear a thing we say.”
I sat back down in my seat and grabbed a spoon. I stared down at the silver as I rubbed and rubbed with the towel in my hand.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m just shocked.” Allie’s voice was so sincere, and I dropped the spoon in the bin before looking back up at her.
“I’m not embarrassed.” I totally was.
“You’re hot.” Allie laughed. “The boys in this town are going to be fighting over you before the school year even starts.”
I knew she was just trying to distract me from being embarrassed, but I still appreciated her compliment.
“I think I just need to stay away from all the boys in this town.” I laughed. “Apparently, they don’t like me.”
Allie grinned just as we heard a loud crash from the hallway before laughter rang out. Allie straightened her shirt as she stood, and I followed suit. It was probably one of the guys from the kitchen, but I didn’t want Jack to catch us sprawled out at one of the tables gabbing about boys.
“Shit.”
I looked around Allie just as Carson pushed through the door. He stumbled slightly, and it was clear that he was drunk.
“What are you doing here?” Allie’s voice was strained as she took the smallest step back.
“Allie!” He practically cheered her name just as Olly and Beck walked in behind him.
I held my breath as I watched him swagger into the room. He was grinning as his eyes met mine, and I knew he had to be intoxicated because the smile didn’t fall from his face.
“Well, looky here.” He pulled out a chair and sat down with his feet wide and his arms loose. He would look so at ease if it wasn’t for the way his jaw tightened.
I knew better than to trust any sort of calmness from him.
It almost scared me more. The way Beck was looking at me felt like the calm before the storm, and I didn’t want to get caught in his onslaught.
“We didn’t realize you guys were here.” Allie sounded so professional. “We’ll get out of your way.”
She reached for my hand, but Beck’s voice stopped us both.
“Stay.” He cocked his head just slightly, and I could feel him staring at me. “I already warned Josie once to not be here, but she didn’t listen.” My spine straightened and the urge to run from the room was overwhelming. “So stay. Finish your work.”
Allie turned to me, but I was still looking at him. I felt like he was a snake and I was his prey, and if I dared look away for even a second he would strike. If I dared to turn away from him, he would make me realize my mistake.
Allie moved back to the table, and the two of us started working again silently. Carson had a bottle of liquor in his hands, and he chugged from it before passing it to one of the others.
I wasn’t sure if this was normal behavior for them, but the way Allie sat with her back perfectly straight and her eyes constantly darting to them made me think it wasn’t.
The three of them laughed and talked as Allie and I finished up what we were doing, and it felt like it had been hours since they walked in the room. I knew it had only been minutes, but every second felt excruciatingly long as I watched him.
I had no idea what they were thinking, what their plan was tonight as they looked like they didn’t give a shit, but I knew that I didn’t trust a single one of them.
I stood with Allie and the two of us carried the bins of silverware over to the bar.
“Josie.” Beck’s voice was smooth and effortless, and my stomach fluttered at the sound. “Come here.”
Allie looked up at me, and I knew that she was willing to tell him to go to hell if I wanted her to, but part of me wanted to know what he wanted.
I wanted to end whatever game he was playing and just get it the hell over with.
I walked toward him, but every part of my body warned me to stop. My breathing was rushed, my hands shook, and I felt like every part of me knew that I should fear him.
“What?” I stopped several feet away from him and linked my fingers together in front of me.
“A little closer.” He crooked his finger as he bit down on his lip, and it was as if every bit of anger he had shown me before was replaced with lust.
He was looking at me like he wanted to devour me. He was looking at me like he had on the beach, but there were no pretenses of him being a nice guy.
This Beck felt like pure sin, and I was an idiot as I stepped closer until I was just out of his reach.
He leaned forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees, and his gaze raked over every inch of my body. His scrutiny of me felt tangible and forbidden. He hadn’t even touched me, and my entire body felt tight with need.
Need to get away from him.
Need to be closer.
“What do you want, Beck?” I hated the way he was making me feel. I felt like a whirlwind of confusion when it came to him, and I would rather just deal with his hate.
With his hate, I knew exactly where I stood.
I k
new what to expect.
“I want a lot of things, Josie.” He rubbed his chin as he spoke, and I noticed that Carson and Olly were both watching us.
They were waiting for a show.
“I need to get back to work.” It was a lie. We were finished for the night, and the only thing I needed to do was clock out before I ran out of this place without looking back.
Allie was still standing next to the bar, and I knew that she wouldn’t leave without me.
“What you need is to get on your fucking knees.”
I took a sharp inhale of breath as my gaze slammed into his.
“I’ve been thinking about that pretty little mouth of yours.” His eyes were so dark, and I didn’t know how much of this was really him and how much was the alcohol. “I can’t wait to see what your lips look like stretched around my cock.”
My gaze darted to Olly who was leaned back in his chair with a small smile on his face. They weren’t affected at all by what their friend was saying.
“Don’t look at him.” Beck’s voice held all the venom that I had become used to, and I didn’t hesitate to follow his command. I looked away from Olly and shifted on my feet as I looked back at Beck.
I should have told him to shut up. I should have slapped the shit out of him and walked away, but I did neither of those things. I stared into his eyes that felt like they were going to consume me, and I tried my hardest not to squeeze my thighs together as an ache began to build there.
“You only look at me.” He was so fucking sure of himself, so sure of what he was capable of. “When I fuck that mouth of yours, you only look at me.”
“That’s never going to happen.” My voice was sure, but I felt rattled to my core.
“Don’t challenge me, doll.” He grinned, and I had a feeling that even though it rarely happened, Beck loved being challenged. “You won’t like how it ends.”
“It’s not a challenge.” I was acting far braver than I felt. “It’s a promise. You will never touch me.”
His smile became almost sinister, and I could barely catch my breath. “God, this is going to be fun.” He stood from his chair, and I thought he was going to touch me now. My body froze and the only thing I could hear was my heart racing.
I had known Beck was an ass. He proved that to me the day I met him, but I hadn’t actually feared him until this moment.
I feared what he was going to do.
I feared how far he would take his hate for Lucas.
I feared him.
He lifted the bottle from the table and tipped it forward. The brown liquor hit the table in a cascade and trickled down the sides before hitting the floor.
Beck held my gaze the entire time. He didn’t care what kind of mess he made. He didn’t give two shits about the things he ruined.
He was just fucking things up without a single thought of the repercussions.
“If you won’t get on your knees for me…” He lifted the bottle, making sure every last drop fell from the lip before dropping it on the table with a loud smack. He took a step closer to me, and I held my ground and didn’t move away from him, even though every single part of me wanted to retreat.
He reached his hand out and ran his thumb over my bottom lip as he stared at my mouth. I felt frozen under his touch, the soft caress a complete contrast to the way he was looking at me. “Then get on your knees and clean up this fucking mess.”
Chapter Six
Beck
“Beck, pick up your shoes.” Frankie kicked one of my sneakers out of her way as she dropped down on the couch across from me with a huff. “You’re such a pig.”
I rolled my eyes and lowered the volume on the baseball game that had been providing me with a distraction, with the hope of silencing my racing mind. “But you still love me.”
“Not today.” She shot me her beautiful smile, and it made my chest tighten. Just that one small smile felt like such a different Frankie.
It felt like the old Frankie.
“Liar.” I winked at my baby sister.
“So, are we going to discuss her?” Frankie’s voice grew quiet, and I immediately knew who she was referring to. Josie.
We hadn’t discussed the incident at the country club when her identity was revealed to Frankie and the guys. I had silenced my friends as soon as they even tried mentioning her, and as expected, it wasn’t a topic of conversation Frankie wanted to divulge in; until now.
“Not much to discuss.” I felt her eyes on me, and reluctantly, I looked away from the television and over to her. “Honestly, Frankie. She’s no one.”
“But she is someone.” Her voice came out soft, and I hated that this conversation was taking her back to the worst time of her life. Fuck the Voses. Fuck. Them.
I gritted my teeth. My need to protect my sister and to get revenge for everything she’d been through came pouring out of me.
“Yeah. Someone who will stay the fuck away from us. Especially you.”
She nodded, her slight smile this time not reaching her eyes. “Okay, Beck.”
“I love when you agree with me so easily.”
“And just like that, cocky Beck shows his face.”
“Did he ever leave?”
“You’re such an idiot.”
“Not the worst thing I’ve been called.”
“Oh my God. Stop.” She rolled her eyes.
“What are you two arguing about now?” My mom plopped down on the sofa next to me, and I immediately reached out and stole some popcorn from her bowl. She slapped at my hand, but I didn’t let it stop me.
“Him being ridiculously cocky and not cleaning up after himself.” Frankie reached forward, and my mom held the bowl out for her.
“That’s because he’s spoiled.” She patted my cheek playfully as she grinned. It’s the curse of the firstborn. “That’s why you’re my favorite, Frankie.”
“Hey.” I was actually insulted.
She laughed as she ran her fingers through my hair and moved it out of my face. She was constantly begging me to get a haircut, and I was constantly telling her that my hair was fine.
My mother had always been overprotective and a little overbearing, but she had always put Frankie and me before anything else.
“You are both my favorite children. Don’t worry.”
Frankie stuck her tongue out at me because while I had been a mama’s boy almost my entire life, she had been Mom’s baby since the moment she came into this world.
“Where’s Dad?”
“He went to bed early.” My mom’s smile was sad, and I knew it was because my father wasn’t feeling well. There were far too many nights when he wasn’t feeling well.
“I’m probably going to hit the hay soon too. I’ve got workouts tomorrow.” I stretched and patted my stomach.
“Are you ready for baseball to start back up?”
I had been playing since I was old enough to remember. It was something that I loved forever, and it had always loved me back. It had been my constant through every other change in my life.
And it was something I would no longer be playing after this year.
So I was ready for it to start back up, but it felt bittersweet. “I am. I’m getting out of shape.”
Frankie rolled her eyes, and my mom laughed.
“You make me sick, Beckham.”
“I can’t help it that I’m the one who got Mom’s good genes.” I didn’t look a thing like my mother except for my smile. Every other part of me was a spitting image of my dad.
But my mom still grinned at my comment.
“Go to bed so Mom and I can bond and turn on a chick flick.”
I laughed and stood from the couch. “I’m going.” I leaned down and kissed my mom on her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
I tugged on Frankie’s ponytail as I passed behind her. “I love you too, dork.”
“Love you.” She sounded so annoyed, but I knew the truth.
She loved me as much as
I loved her, and I regretted how I used to never tell her. I wouldn’t make a mistake like that again.
And like she had so many fucking times since I met her, Josie flashed through my head. I wondered if Lucas told her he loved her. Did they sit together at their house and pretend like they were something like a loving family? And more than anything, I wondered if she had any clue at the astronomically huge asshole she was living with. She couldn’t be that naïve, could she?
I opened my phone as I laid down in my bed, and I let my finger hover over her name. I should have probably been ashamed that I had taken her phone number from the files at work, but I wasn’t.
I had no room for shame.
I had contemplated texting her since the moment I got it. It was the reason Olly, Carson, and I had been at the country club so late the other night. I didn’t realize she would still be there. That was just the icing on the cake.
The way she had watched me as I spoke to her. The way her mouth parted involuntarily as my thumb moved across her soft lip.
I wasn’t lying to her when I said I had imagined her pretty mouth wrapped around my cock. I had imagined it over and over as I leaned against the shower wall and jacked off to the thought of her.
I hated her, but I desperately wanted to fuck her.
I wanted to take the edge off my rage by pounding into her mouth or that tight little body of hers.
Just seeing her reaction to me the other night had made me hard as a rock. She may have hated me as much as I hated her, but the way her body hummed with anticipation wasn’t from hate.
She wanted me too.
I typed Cami’s name and clicked on it before I did something stupid. I could just text Cami right now and get the release that I needed. I could use her the same way we had been using each other for years, but I couldn’t bring myself to type out the message.
Cami wasn’t what I wanted.
Just the thought of texting her felt like a chore.
I quickly hit Cancel and pulled Josie’s name back up. I quickly hit Send on the message before I could change my mind.