“What is it?” Natalie said, worried.
“Nah, nothing. Just a thought.”
“A bad thought?”
“A thought.”
“So say it.”
“It’s fine,” Evie said. “I can’t. I shouldn’t.”
“Go on. It can’t be that awful. And you look like you’ll pop if you don’t.”
Evie grinned, and then shrugged, and said, “Okay. Just, you’re old enough to be my mother.”
It was true, Natalie thought, but it was true of a lot of people. She wasn’t sure how specifically Evie meant. “How old do you think I am?” she said, curious.
“Forty-seven.”
Natalie was surprised. “Forty-eight,” she said. “And how did you know?”
Evie grinned. Suddenly smug.
“Was that just a guess?” Natalie said. “Or do you actually know somehow?”
“I know,” Evie said.
“Well, how?”
“Your profile on you’re firm’s website.”
Natalie thought, trying to remember what it said.
“You got an LLM in 1989,” Evie said. “So if you went straight through from school, that’s three years for a bachelors, one for honours, one for masters, so you were twenty-three then and forty-seven now. Or so.”
Natalie was a little surprised. “You checked up on me?”
“Um, yep. Of course. Before I met you a second time, pervert.”
“Oh.”
“And also, by the way. You graduated before I was born. You know that, right?”
“I do now.”
“Just saying.”
Natalie sat there for a moment. “Oh fuck.”
Evie grinned, smug again.
“What else did you find out?” Natalie said. “Should I worry?”
Evie shook her head. “Not much. That’s all really. A couple of your cases from the law reports.”
“God, Evie, that’s…”
“Thorough?”
“Yes, actually, it is.”
Evie shrugged, and flicked her ash.
“It’s odd,” Natalie said. “You know a lot about me, and I don’t even know… I don’t know, your surname. Or your birthday. Or how old you are.”
“Yep,” Evie said.
“Yes what?”
“Yes you don’t.”
Natalie looked at her. “Well?”
“Well what? You don’t know stuff. What’s your point?”
“Will you tell me?”
“Maybe.”
Natalie waited, but Evie didn’t. “Or not,” Natalie said.
“I’ll tell you,” Evie said. She was teasing again, Natalie thought. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m not sure. How old are you?”
Evie sat there for a moment, thinking. “Does it actually matter?” she said.
“Not really, no. I’m curious.”
Evie nodded. “Okay,” she said. “How about this. Pick one. I’ll tell you one of those three.”
Her name or her age or her birthday, Natalie assumed. She thought for a moment, then said, “All right. How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
They looked at each other.
“I’m twice as old as you,” Natalie said. “More.”
“Yeah.” Evie blew smoke out.
“There’s two whole yous to make a me,” Natalie said. Saying it almost compulsively, even as she wondered if she shouldn’t.
Evie kept looking at her.
“When I was your age,” Natalie said. “You hadn’t been born yet…”
“Fuck,” Evie said, sharply. “Okay.”
Natalie stopped. “Sorry,” she said.
Evie shrugged.
“I am sorry,” Natalie said. “I didn’t mean…”
Evie looked at her, and seemed to be thinking again. Her expression was a little odd.
*
“What’s wrong?” Natalie said, a little worried.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Evie said. “Not wrong. But, um...”
“Something’s bothering you?”
“Not bothering exactly either, no.”
Natalie waited, but Evie just sat there. Evie was acting quite strangely, and Natalie was beginning to get nervous.
“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Natalie said.
“Um,” Evie said again.
“Oh shit,” Natalie said. “It’s bad.”
Evie shook her head. “Funny. Something occurred to me, that’s all. Something kind of weird. Because of you going on about age and numbers and everything.”
“So it’s my fault?”
Evie grinned. “Pretty much.”
“But not something bad?”
“Nope,” Evie said. “Not bad. Just weird.”
“Well, tell me,” Natalie said, but Evie just sat there, grinning.
“What is it?” Natalie said. “Please? I’m starting to worry.”
“Not bad, remember?” Evie said.
“I heard, but…”
“Really not bad, I promise.”
“Could you just tell me?”
Evie looked up, and seemed to realize Natalie was anxious. “Oh, fuck, it’s nothing really. Don’t look so worried. I’m teasing.”
“I know, but…”
“I should tell you anyway, now I’ve made a big fuss?”
Natalie nodded.
“It’s just,” Evie said. “I don’t think my mum’s going to like you very much, that’s all. You know, if she ever finds out.”
“Why would she find out?”
“Just if.”
“All right,” Natalie said. “So why not? She doesn’t think you should be with a woman?”
“Um, no, not that. She’s completely fine with that.”
“Oh,” Natalie said, relieved enough to tease back. “Well, good. I’m glad. So if it isn’t that, then it must be the obvious thing.”
“The obvious thing?”
“That she doesn’t like lawyers.”
Slowly, Evie started to grin. “You’re funny,” she said, smiling tenderly, like she wanted to kiss Natalie. She stayed where she was in the bathroom, but she smiled, and Natalie was pleased.
“Thank you,” Natalie said.
“Well you are.”
“So lawyers? That’s the problem?”
Evie was still grinning. “Nope, not lawyers.” She thought for a moment. “Well, actually mum doesn’t like lawyers much, but no, it wasn’t that.”
Natalie already knew what Evie meant, because she couldn’t possibly not guess, but it was nice, the way they were talking about it, being slightly silly. “Well,” she said. “I can’t imagine what it is, then.”
Evie blew smoke out, and grinned. “I think you can. I think you can maybe guess.”
“I think I can too,” Natalie said, wondering if this was about to go horribly wrong. “So is it the obvious? Do you think your mother might just possibly notice my age?”
“Oh I think she might,” Evie said. “I think almost certainly will, actually.”
“I think so too,” Natalie said, and decided to ask. “Is that bad?”
“Not bad, just funny.”
“Oh,” Natalie said. “Funny?”
“Yep.”
“I still don’t know…”
“Yeah,” Evie said. “I just should tell you, shouldn’t I?”
Natalie sighed. “I’d be grateful…”
“Well mostly I think she’d notice because of how she turns forty-four in January.”
Natalie looked at Evie for a moment, speechless. Evie had started grinning, apparently quite proud of her teasing. “Oh fuck,” Natalie said in the end.
“Come on,” Evie said. “It’s kind of funny.”
“It isn’t really.”
“Not really,” Evie said, and started laughing. “Except that actually it is.”
Natalie looked at her.
“Come on,” Evie said. “You’re older than my mum. That’s funn
y.”
Natalie sat there and watched Evie laugh. “Not that funny,” Natalie said, after a while.
Evie nodded, but kept laughing anyway. “Shit no,” she managed to gasp. “It’s fucking horrible. I was just thinking how upset she’d probably be if she ever finds out, and I don’t even know why she’d be upset. It doesn’t make sense.”
Natalie sat there, wondering if this was as serious as it sounded, if Evie’s family was especially close, or likely to cause problems.
“Shit,” Evie said, still laughing. “Your face. You’re still worried. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Natalie said. It was nice to see Evie laugh. Nice, even if her laughter seemed a little out of control right now.
Evie stopped, but kept grinning. “I’m really sorry,” she said, her voice still strange, a little to tight. “I really shouldn’t laugh about this.”
“It’s fine,” Natalie said, then hesitated. “But… is it likely to be a problem?”
Evie shook her head.
“You’re sure?”
“Yep,” Evie said. “She won’t find out. There’s no way she could.”
Natalie nodded, relieved. “No, not if we’re careful.”
“Not unless she sees us in the street or something,” Evie said, and started laughing again.
“Oh god,” Natalie said.
Evie was shaking, almost giggling, and waving her hand at Natalie as if she was trying to say something. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She tried again, and managed to gurgle something about Perth.
“I didn’t understand,” Natalie said.
Evie took a breath. “I said, don’t worry, mum’s in Perth.”
“Your mum’s in Perth?”
Evie nodded, and wiped her face. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was mean, but your face… Okay, I’m done.”
“But your mum is in Perth?” Natalie said, wanting to be sure.
“Yep. She’ll never know.”
“Oh,” Natalie said. “Well that’s good, I suppose.”
“It is.” Evie said. “And okay, now I’m done. I won’t tease you any more.”
“Tease me ever?” Natalie said, hopefully.
Evie grinned again. “Um, no. Not a chance. I won’t tease you now. About this. That’s all.”
“Oh well,” Natalie said. “I suppose that’s fine too.”
Evie had gone quiet. She seemed to be thinking. “It is kind of weird, isn’t it?” she said. “All of this.”
“I suppose so. A little.”
“Is it too weird, do you think? I mean, should we just stop right now?”
“No,” Natalie said.
Evie looked surprised. Natalie had spoken quite firmly. Evie had probably just been speaking carelessly, thinking out loud, but Natalie hadn’t been sure, and had answered quite sharply.
“Oh,” Evie said, seeming serious again. “Well, that’s good.”
Natalie nodded.
“You sure?” Evie said. “I mean, the age thing…”
“I’m sure. It’s unusual. But other people must have before.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“I don’t want to stop.”
Evie sat there for a while, then said, “Yeah, me either.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep.”
“But are you really…”
“I’m sure.”
Evie still seemed quiet. Natalie looked at her, worried. “Are you all right?”
“Yep. That just got a bit… too real.”
Natalie nodded. “I know,” she said.
“It’s fine,” Evie said. “Don’t make it a big deal.”
“It isn’t. Except how it is.”
“It’s not and I’m fine,” Evie said. “You be fine too.”
“You are? You truly are?”
Evie nodded. “I’m fine. Can we stop talking about this though? Just before it gets too serious. Too out of hand, you know?”
“Of course,” Natalie said.
“I mean, if you don’t mind?”
“I don’t.”
“So we’ll stop,” Evie said. “With the serious?”
Natalie nodded. “And tease me about your mum instead?”
“Yep,” Evie said, and grinned, and seemed quite pleased with herself.
*
Evie seemed to have stopped talking, as if perhaps she’d laughed too much, or thought too hard, and run out of liveliness. She stayed in the bathroom for a while, quietly smoking, and Natalie lay on the bed and watched her. It was getting late, Natalie supposed. Evie might well be tired. Natalie was, a little, now she was lying down.
After a while, Evie squashed out her cigarette and put the end back into her packet. She stood up, and came back through to the bedroom, and sat on the bed beside Natalie. She seemed distracted. She glanced around, and was still holding her cigarettes.
Natalie watched, unsure what Evie wanted to do next. She wasn’t sure if they were finished and Evie wanted to go home, or if she was about to suggest having more sex. Natalie wondered, but didn’t want to be pushy and ask. She’d always felt odd about asking, because she felt like it made her seem too fussy. As if she couldn’t just relax and wait and see what happened. She didn’t want to ask, and she didn’t want Evie to think she was being told to leave either, so she sat and waited, silently.
Evie sat a little longer, but still seemed unsettled. In the end, she said, “Well, maybe I should get going.”
Natalie wasn’t especially surprised. “You don’t need to,” she said.
“It’s pretty late. What time to you get up?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Evie nodded. “All the same, I probably should go.”
“Of course. If you’re sure. But you don’t have to.”
Evie thought for a moment. “Why?” she said. “Do you want me to stay or something?”
“Only if you do.”
“Stay the night?”
Natalie shrugged. “If you want to, you can. If it’s easier for you. That’s all.”
“But you don’t actually want me to?”
Natalie wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t ready to take risks, to take the chance of making assumptions about what Evie expected, or looking silly. She didn’t even know whether Evie would even think it was late yet. She had a feeling Evie probably kept different hours to her.
“It’s really up to you,” Natalie said. “If you’d like to, then stay. But only if you want to.”
“It’s pretty late. And I’ll probably just go to sleep.”
“Me too.”
“Then probably it’s just a nuisance if I do,” Evie said. “I mean, for the morning. I’ll be in the way while you’re getting ready.”
Natalie nodded. Briefly, she considered saying she did want Evie to stay. She almost did, then hesitated. Evie didn’t seem like she wanted to. Evie sounded quite indifferent. Evie was probably right, Natalie thought. They’d just be in each other’s way in the morning. It was probably best not to.
“Okay,” Evie said, after a moment. “Well, I will another time.”
“All right.” Natalie hesitated. “I mean, I’d like that, if you did.”
Evie looked up. “Another time?”
“Or now. Whatever you like.”
Evie seemed uncertain. “It just seems a little soon for us to be cuddling all night, that’s all.”
“Evie, honestly, whatever you like.”
“I think I should go,” Evie said, and looked around for her clothes. She started dressing, then stopped. “Hey,” she said. “We are doing this again, yeah?”
“Of course. If you want to.”
“That’s what I’m asking. Do you want to? I mean, I kind of put you on the spot before…”
“You didn’t.”
“I really did. So now I’m asking, and you don’t have to be polite if you don’t want to.”
“I want to.”
Evie grinned. “You want to be polite?”
she said.
Evie understood, Natalie thought, but couldn’t help teasing. “You know exactly what I mean,” Natalie said.
Evie nodded, still grinning. “Yeah, I do. I want to as well, okay?”
“I’m glad.”
Evie found her underwear, and pulled them on, and then did her bra by reaching up behind her back. Evie was elegant, Natalie thought. Elegant, even when not doing anything special, elegant in the everyday. She got dressed no differently to Natalie, and did things, like fastening her bra, that they both did day after day, but Evie seemed elegant, and Natalie wasn’t sure why.
Natalie sat there, thinking. There were things she wanted to say, things she was feeling that she ought to let out, which she hadn’t had a chance to yet, tonight.
“Evie,” Natalie said. “That was… I mean, I’m …”
Evie reached over and put her hand on Natalie’s mouth. It was still a little damp, and slightly cool. Natalie stopped talking, surprised.
“Don’t say it,” Evie said.
Natalie looked at her.
“Of course I know,” Evie said. “Of course you are. But don’t say it. Not yet.”
Evie took her hand away and Natalie said, “All right.”
“I’ll be back,” Evie said. “We’ll do this again. I’m just still thinking.”
“Thinking?”
“I guess I’m still a bit surprised you’re as old as my mum and you’re getting a crush on me.”
“I’m not…” Natalie said, then stopped. She didn’t want to lie, didn’t want to deny it, in case it mattered later.
“Yeah,” Evie said. “Exactly.” She smiled, and pulled on her shirt. “We have stuff we should probably talk about,” she said. “But just not yet.”
“Of course.”
“Soon, okay?”
“When you’re ready.”
“When you are too,” Evie said. “Just not too soon. Not so we spoil anything.”
Natalie nodded slowly. That almost made sense.
Evie stood up and pulled on her jeans.
“And tomorrow?” Natalie said. “Are we still having dinner?”
“Well yeah,” Evie said, seeming surprised. “Of course. Wasn’t that the point of this?”
“Was it?”
“Um, yeah,” Evie said, like it was obvious. “Wasn’t it? To get this part out the way, with all the pressure and everything, and then just enjoy having dinner and talking and stuff…”
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