“Clearly. You do realize there’s a name for that, don’t you? Jealousy.”
Jess’s eye twitched. “Call it what you want. But if it weren’t for me, you’d still be walking the street—if you were lucky and not snatched up by some creep.”
I think maybe I was.
Lord, how do I get out of this?
Jess still hadn’t made a move to leave, and my only phone lay smashed on the road.
Don’t make him angry. Was my mind working overtime, or did it sense danger?
“You left the reception when we did, didn’t you? You never went to a hotel—you followed us.”
“Only because I was concerned for you, afraid Harvey would hurt you, and I was right. I saw him shove you out of his car, then take off like a coward. The only reason I didn’t chase him down was there was no way I was going to leave you alone. I stayed out of sight till you were ready for me.”
My brow scrunched. He’d been lurking in the shadows the whole time? And I’d thought I’d been so careful, so invisible.
“If you could just forget that other guy—”
“He didn’t push me.” I slapped my foot against the hardwood floor for emphasis.
“I know what I saw.”
“You saw what you wanted to see.”
“And you only believe what you want to believe.” A thread of irritation slipped into his voice. “Holding out for some made up ‘Mr. Right’ when I’m sitting right here. We’ve got more than five years of interactions and relationship. Good times, hard times. You’ve only had days with him.”
“Weeks,” I clarified, “but that was different. It was all in person—not through a computer screen.”
“Whose fault is that? I would’ve been here in person a long time ago if you would’ve let me.” He leaned forward. “Let me now. That’s all I’m asking for, a chance.”
I studied him still perched on my couch as if he wasn’t going anywhere. “I think it’s time you found your hotel.”
Jess sat back, stretched his arms out, and rested them behind his head. “You’ve got this entire house with a couch and a spare bedroom, I came all this way for you and the night’s almost over, and you can’t just let me crash here for a few hours?”
I stared at him.
He stood. “Fine, I knew you’d never go for that, but I had to give it a shot.” He loosened his tie so that it hung crooked. “It’s okay. At least you let me in your house, your secret refuge.” He winked. “For you, that’s huge progress. I’ll take it.”
I crossed my arms. “ ‘Let’ you is a stretch, don’t you think? I seem to recall you forcing your way in.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Come on, you would’ve let me in eventually. I was just speeding things up.”
I tried to lead Jess to the front door, but he strolled in the opposite direction. “I guess it’s too late to ask for a full tour, but I’d really like to see your butterfly room.”
He disappeared around a corner and snapped on the dining room light.
“Hey, the light will disturb them.” I caught up to Jess as he stood gazing at the resting butterflies and rows of chrysalises hanging like milky green pendants.
He let out a low whistle. “Cool. Very cool. You really are incredible.”
“No, what I am is tired.” Overwhelmed. Did my tone sound as desperate as I felt? “Please, I need you to go.”
“The room’s just like I always pictured it.”
“Please.” I tugged at his arm. A mistake, I realized when his head whirled and his hand caught mine with a strength that surprised me, frightened me.
“Please,” he echoed, his voice odd, his intense eyes and grip telling me he meant something entirely different than I had. “Lila . . .”
The yearning in his tone made me back away. I wasn’t sure what I saw in his gaze—but I knew I didn’t trust it.
Jess closed the small space between us, forcing me against the wall. His hands pinned my wrists like shackles. Panic closed around my heart.
His mouth came down on mine, hard, bruising my lips. Horrified, I fought for air and tried to wrench myself away, my soul screaming.
No first kiss should ever feel like this, like suffocating, like dying.
Fierce pounding filled my head, and Jess pulled away abruptly as if he heard it too.
And that’s when I realized he did—because, thank God, someone was banging on my front door.
Chapter 20
The pounding increased, sparking hope in my anguished heart.
Lord, did You send help?
“I’ll get it.” Jess strode for the door.
I raced forward, ready to yell for help. “No, this is my house—”
“And no one should be disturbing you at this time of night.”
“Oh? Only you?” I fought the trembling in my muscles.
Jess blocked me with his body as he opened the door.
Catching a whiff of peppermint, I stuck my head over Jess’s elbow and saw Harvey standing on my front porch, looking stunned.
His silence unnerved me. So did the partial smile creeping across Jess’s face. All at once, I realized Harvey was drawing horrible conclusions.
He looked at me, and hurt flashed in his eyes before a blank, cold shadow shuttered his gaze. With his ragged hair and wrinkled shirt, he appeared thoroughly disheveled and tired.
“Hey, man. What’re you doing here?” From Jess’s tone, he might as well have said, “Get lost.”
“Harvey.” My voice drew his gaze. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
“You got home okay.” His voice sounded strained. “That’s all I need to know.”
“No, it’s not. Listen to me—I’m sorry about everything—”
“Whoa, do not apologize to this guy.” Jess adjusted his stance and nudged me back with his elbow before refocusing on Harvey. “I saw how you treated her. Get off this property before I call the cops.”
“Shut up, Jess!” I stomped on his foot and broke past him, out into the night air.
At Harvey’s side, relief filled me. I looked up at him, but he eyed me warily, like he didn’t know me. It broke my heart.
I touched his arm. He tensed, almost moved away. I could barely hear his words, yet the pain behind them rang clear. “You never once let me into your house.”
A train whistle howled mournfully in the distance, trying to distract me from what I had to say. “I didn’t let him in, either. He gave me a ride home, and—” I couldn’t even voice what he’d just done—“and now he won’t leave.”
“She doesn’t want me to leave.” Jess joined us on the porch and closed the door behind him. “Once you’re out of the picture, she’ll realize that.”
I whirled on Jess. “What’s the matter with you? Do you hear yourself? You need to leave. Now.”
Harvey’s arm came around me as he faced Jess. “You better do what she says.”
“Yeah? Or what? She’s gonna sic the butterflies on me?” He snickered and strolled to the grass. “Or will she sic you? Frankly, I think the butterflies would do more damage.”
“What’s your problem?” Harvey stalked after him. “You looking for a fight?”
“I’m looking to pay you back for the way you’ve been treating her, so yeah.” Jess faced Harvey and moved his arms in a warm-up motion. “Punching you might suffice.”
Harvey braced his stance, biceps tensing, fists curling. “Bring it.”
Harvey stood taller, his muscles more defined than Jess’s, yet Jess sidled up to him with a confidence that scared me.
I ran forward. “Stop this, both of you! No one’s fighting anyone.” I stepped between them and faced Harvey. “Come on, this is stupid. If he won’t go, we will. And then we’ll call the police.”
Every muscle in Harvey’s face remained tense.
“Please.”
Harvey looked torn, almost disappointed, like he really wanted to fight, but my plea must have meant something to him because he took my hand and
turned for the house.
A moment later, Jess appeared in front of us. With no warning, he slammed his fist into Harvey’s face.
Harvey bellowed and staggered back, unintentionally jerking me. My hand sprang open in alarm, letting him go.
Jess struck him again, and Harvey fell. Hard.
His face hit the ground and he groaned into the grass. Clutching at the earth, he struggled to get up.
Jess resumed a fighting stance.
“Stop!” I shrieked, finally finding my voice. I rushed Jess and shoved him. “Get away from him! He never even tried to hit you.”
“Because I didn’t give him the chance.” Jess slipped his fingers through my hair and slid a strand behind my ear.
Shuddering, I batted his hands off me. I tried again to push him away, but he was much more solid than he looked.
“You’re not being very nice, Lila. I fight for your honor, and this is how you repay me?”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
His lips mashed together and he seized my wrists. I suddenly wished I didn’t live in such a secluded location. Trees cut off all visibility from the street. Neighbors didn’t live within shouting distance. My safe haven had betrayed me.
From the ground, Harvey suddenly grabbed Jess’s ankles, throwing him off balance. Instinctively, Jess released me, but he still fell.
Harvey landed a fist to Jess’s face. The two rolled, fighting and grunting until Jess managed to jump back up, eyes flashing. He kicked Harvey in the ribs repeatedly, as if he’d never stop.
“I’m calling the police!” I raced for my house. Jess wouldn’t know it was a lie, that I didn’t have a phone.
He caught me on the porch. At least I’d gotten him away from Harvey.
My mind scrambled. “Jess, you have to leave. Please, just leave.”
He worked his jaw, his gaze intense. “I came all this way for you.”
My gaze kept returning to Harvey. I had to help him. “Let me tell Harvey to leave. Then I’ll go back inside with you. We can talk.”
Jess laughed. “Tell him to go, sure. But we won’t be going back inside.”
I swallowed, deciding not to analyze that statement, and hurried to Harvey’s side. He drew the back of his hand across his mouth and coughed.
I dropped to my knees, and he winced when I touched his shoulder. “Hey,” I said softly.
He groaned, but something told me it was more from frustration than pain. Shadows blended with his cuts and bruises.
He touched my face. “You need to get out of here. Take these.” He shoved something hard and cold into my hands. His phone and car keys.
I palmed them, my fingers pausing on his. “I really am sorry about earlier.”
“So am I. I shouldn’t have gotten jealous and lost my temper.”
Jess appeared above us, his presence increasing the darkness.
Harvey spat and struggled to sit up, but Jess’s foot to his chest shoved him back down.
I gasped in dismay as Jess yanked the phone and keys from my hand and chucked them far into the trees.
Harvey’s gaze snagged on Jess’s car. Something registered on his face. “You’re the one who honked and forced me through that intersection.” He looked at me. “I turned around and came back for you, but I couldn’t find you.”
I knew it. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“And then I found her and rescued her.” Jess’s voice intruded. “You had your chance, pal, and you blew it.” Jess locked one arm through mine and tugged. “Let’s go, Lila.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I planted my heels, straining in Harvey’s direction.
“Have it your way.” Jess released me, surprising me, and I stumbled back to Harvey and took his hand.
But the ease with which Jess had let me go unsettled me. Like it was too good to be true. I watched him walk away, but he paused at Harvey’s car.
He pulled out a pocketknife, flicked it open, and proceeded to slash each tire.
Muffling a gasp, I squeezed Harvey’s hand and placed myself in front of him as Jess headed back toward us, the knife still open.
Jess shouldered me aside and pressed the blade to Harvey’s throat. I screamed, wanting to hit Jess or yank his arm away, but I was too afraid of bumping the knife.
Jess’s face remained rigid. “Changed your mind yet?”
His meaning was clear. To protect Harvey, I had to go with him. I swallowed and nodded, took one last look at Harvey, who lay tense and sweating, motionless under the touch of the blade. His eyes were on Jess now, not me.
“Yes,” I said, hoping to make Jess move. “I’ll go with you.”
“No,” Harvey rasped.
Raising the knife, but not closing it, Jess reclaimed my arm, and we walked.
I felt no relief. I’d traded one hopeless situation for another.
This is my fault. I’m the reason Jess is here. The reason Harvey’s hurt.
We passed Harvey’s car, and I caught a whiff of rubber.
A lump of ice settled in the pit of my stomach as we headed for Jess’s car.
“Where are we going?” My voice sounded distant.
“You like surprises?”
The ice rose to my throat. “You know I don’t.” I looked back and saw Harvey push himself up and shake his head, as if to clear it.
Jess opened the driver’s door and nudged me in so that I had to crawl over to the passenger seat, where I discreetly tried the door. Locked.
“Buckle up.” He slammed his door, then started the engine. Where had the knife gone? Tucked back in Jess’s pocket, I supposed. Ready and waiting for the next time he wanted to threaten someone. I tried not to let my mind go there.
Suddenly Harvey appeared at Jess’s window. He rattled the handle, banged on the car, and roared like someone in a horror movie. “Let her go!”
Jess ignored him and pulled away.
I strained for a glimpse of Harvey as he ran stumbling after us. “He’ll call the cops.”
“Eventually.”
“You’re not worried?” Jess’s lack of concern chilled me.
“He’s got nothing, so they’ll have nothing.”
I turned to Jess as we left my familiar street behind. “This is kidnapping.”
“No, we’re just taking a little trip.”
“Against my will.”
“You’ll change your mind.”
My hands fisted. “I won’t.”
He smiled as if he knew something I didn’t.
“Jess . . . don’t do this. You’re not a criminal.”
“I know that.” He chucked my chin playfully, then stepped on the gas.
I edged myself closer to the door. “You can’t make me love you.”
“You were already getting there.”
I let the silence speak for me, but he probably misread it.
“Attraction’s like a science.” Jess glanced at me. “That’s why you always hear people talk about chemistry. I was awesome in chemistry, by the way. Top of my class.” He chuckled, then spoke out of the corner of his mouth. “Bottom, too, but I focus on positives.”
Positives. Maybe I should try that.
This guy used to be my friend, so maybe that meant he wouldn’t hurt me.
Only . . . he already had.
“Once I get you to the right place, with the right controlled environment, it’ll only be a matter of time before you learn to love me back, and then it won’t be kidnapping because you’ll want to be with me. How’s that for logic?”
“Warped logic.” My legs shook, and I told myself it was from anger. “You’re crazy.”
“Watch it.” His steely tone increased my anxiety. The car accelerated with an abrupt burst of speed.
I shut my mouth and looked out the window. Lord, what do I do? There had to be something.
I fidgeted in my seat as Jess pulled onto the freeway. “You don’t by chance need to stop for gas anytime soon, do you?” I leaned over to read the ga
uge, but he immediately blocked my attempt with his arm.
“Don’t cross the center of the car while I’m driving, got it? I can’t trust you yet. And no, I won’t need to stop for gas anytime soon. We’re all tanked up.”
I waited a few seconds. “I’m really hungry, though.” I sucked in my stomach, then released it, trying to make it prove my case with a growl. No luck. “Maybe—”
“I’ve got a big stash of energy bars in the back seat. Help yourself.”
I blew a sigh through the corner of my mouth and reached for the plastic bag. I pulled it to the front, onto my lap, and made a show of examining a wrapper. “ ‘Only three ingredients,’ ” I read, “ ‘walnuts, dates, and kale.’ ” I dropped the bar back into the bag. “Yum.”
Jess nodded. “That’s real food. Clean food. You could live on those.”
My throat constricted, hoping that wasn’t a foreshadowing of things to come. A vision of a cold basement room stocked with kale bars came to mind. “I think I prefer fake food. Dirty food.” I looked longingly in the side mirror. A vehicle followed us and another one passed us, oblivious to my plight. Again, I tried the door handle.
“Um . . . I actually really need to use the bathroom.”
“Sure you do.”
I glared at him. “I do. Think about it. My last chance was at the reception, hours ago.”
“We’ll stop in a little while.” He switched on some smooth jazz music, similar to what my dad used to listen to, and I wished I could travel back through a time warp.
How had my life become so screwed up?
How had Jess’s?
I studied his profile. “What about all the other people in your life? Family, friends. You can’t just bring me home with you and expect—”
“You know my parents are dead. They were my only family.”
“But you must have friends.”
“Acquaintances. No one close. No one who gets me like you do.”
Like me. My heart clenched. Please don’t compare me to you. “But what about all the things you used to talk about, the exciting things you went out and did, the parties, the people . . .”
He snorted. “Most of that was from whatever show I was watching that week.”
The Butterfly Recluse Page 13