“Do you want to see how fast I am mama?”
I was glad she was leaving the conversation about her father behind. “I do. But don’t run so fast that I can’t see you.”
She grinned. “Okay.” She trotted off to one side of the yard. She got into her running stance and she shot off like the wind. Her father had been fast and sure on his feet. The Jude I’d fallen for in high school would have been out here coaching her and encouraging her to run like the wind. My heart broke that she wouldn’t have that. I’d have to find a way to make it up to her because Maya deserved all the support and happiness in the world.
5
Jude
Cyrus and I spent the weekend preparing the office to open on Monday. I thought we might have a little more time to get the furniture set, the electronic gadgets working, and the computer system in place, but Cyrus had already gotten us a client who’d be coming first thing Monday morning. To be honest, I was glad for the hard work. It distracted me from thoughts of April because the more idle time that passed, the more obsessed I seemed to be getting about her.
On Saturday during our lunch break, I strolled down to the restaurant hoping to see her. When she wasn’t there, I showed up again at dinner time. I nonchalantly asked about her and was told she didn’t actually work there all the time. The night before, she was just covering for someone. So that was it. She was gone like the wind again. Oh sure, I could go out to her family’s home to see if she was still there. I could look her up in the directory. As much as I wanted to do all that, I remembered she’d left me. After eight years, I was a blip in her past. I sat in my office, and pulled out the letter I’d received from her that told me it was over. She was so done with me that she’d typed it. The only personal bit of herself that she’d added was her signature.
“Fuck.” I was a moron to carry it with me. I held my hand out to toss it in the trash, but like I had done many times before, I changed my mind, folding it back up and putting in my wallet. I was either a glutton for punishment or needing the constant reminder that people could fuck you up emotionally. Even people you trusted.
On Monday morning, I put on a suit which Cyrus insisted made us look more professional. For me, it was like exchanging one uniform for another, although the suit did feel a bit more uncomfortable than in military clothes.
“Don’t you ever want to express yourself?” I asked him as I sat in his office preparing for the day.
“You can.” He lifted his pant leg showing off a psychedelic colored sock. “Business on the outside, party on the feet.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Speaking of parties, you look like hell my friend,” he said.
“Yeah well, I didn’t sleep very well the last few nights. Lots going on, you know?”
He nodded. “It’s not easy coming home, or so I’ve heard. You know you might think about finding a more permanent place. Put down roots.”
“Says my hotel room neighbor.”
“I have a call into an agent to look at some land outside the city. A house with room for horses.”
I laughed. “You’re a city boy. Do you know how to care for horses?”
“No, but how hard could it be? This is my next big adventure, Jude. You need to find yours.”
I took that to heart. I had to stop living in the past. “You’re right.”
The buzz over the door told us someone had entered the waiting area. We rose and strode out to meet our client, Tom Lassen.
“Come into our conference room, Mr. Lassen,” Cyrus said.
“Would you like some coffee or something?” I offered.
“No thank you.” Mr. Lassen looked around the office and then took a seat. “Spiffy place you have here.”
“Thank you.” Cyrus sat down at the end of the table and I sat between them.
“How can we help you, Mr. Lassen?” I asked.
“I own a string of retail stores and recently have had an uptick in thefts.”
“Do you currently have security systems in place?” Cyrus asked.
“We do. Cameras and I increased the number of security guards when the thefts started. I hired them through another firm.”
“And what do they say?” I asked him.
“They can’t seem to figure it out either. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.”
“Do you think it’s an inside job,” Cyrus asked.
“I think it’s possible, but different people are working each time something goes missing.”
I noted what he was saying on my yellow legal pad. “Have you gone to the police?” I asked.
Mr. Lassen sat back and shrugged. “Sure, but it’s not a priority for them. Every time I call, I get the same old line that they’re still investigating but they don’t have anything to share.”
“I wonder if they think you’re involved,” Cyrus said.
“Me? I own the place, why would I steal from myself? What sort of security firm are you?” Mr. Lassen’s eyes narrowed in annoyance.
“We’re consultants. And the reason the police might think you’re stealing is for insurance or to sell to the black market or…I don’t know but it happens. We’re not saying that’s what you’re doing. We’re just tossing out ideas on why you’re not getting information from the police,” I explained.
“It’s possible the thief or thieves have an in with the police. Whatever it is, we’re here to help you, Mr. Lassen. Could we have copies of the surveillance tapes to review?” Cyrus asked.
“It would help to talk to store managers and staff as well,” I added.
“We’ve done all that already.”
“And clearly it didn’t work, which is why you’re here. Maybe we’ll be able to see something or get information that the others didn’t,” I said.
Mr. Lassen nodded. “Yes, alright. I’ll make sure you get all the video and a list of all employees.” He stood. “What is your background, boys?”
I bristled a bit at being called a boy, but Mr. Lassen had quite a few years on us, so I suppose to him we seemed young.
“We’re former SEALs,” Cyrus said, standing and escorting Mr. Lassen out. I followed behind them.
“SEALs, eh. Don’t you extract terrorists or blow up things underwater.”
I laughed. “Among other things. We also do surveillance, reconnaissance missions, and intel gathering.”
“Huh. They say you’re the best of the best,” Mr. Lassen said.
“We think so, but there are other special forces that might disagree,” Cyrus said.
“You’re still young, why’d you get out?” Mr. Lassen asked as we reached the door.
“We both are looking for a quieter life these days,” Cyrus said.
“Bismarck is a nice city for that. You boys from here?”
“I am,” I said. “Born and raised.”
“Hometown boy is a Navy SEAL. Your mama must be proud.”
I smiled and nodded, but since I hadn’t talked to my mother in years, or my father for that matter, I wouldn’t know if she was proud. I did know she left North Dakota, running off with some man to Florida. My father ran off to California, no doubt to put as much distance from her as he could.
“By the way, it seems to me that if a terrorist wants to take a Navy SEAL down, he can make him wear a suit. You especially look like you’re being strangled,” Mr. Lassen said with a nod to me. “You should wear what makes you feel comfortable and strong. Oh, and maybe get someone out here in front to welcome your clients.”
“Thank you for your advice, Mr. Lassen,” Cyrus said, shaking the man’s hand.
I shook Mr. Lassen’s hand and watched him leave. Then I took my tie off and tossed it at Cyrus.
He laughed and loosened his own tie. “Hey, I thought it would make us look professional.”
“We’re in the security business, we should look lethal,” I said.
“Well, we don’t want to scare people. How about we compromise. We could get polo shirts with our name and
logo or something. Wear it with khakis—”
“How about jeans.”
He arched a brow. “We need to be taken seriously.”
“As long as I don’t have to wear a tie, I’m good.” I walked back to the little kitchenette with him. “So, what do you think about Mr. Lassen’s problem?”
“I think it involves more than just an employee taking from the till or stealing merchandise.”
I nodded. “I agree. More than one person too, don’t you think?”
“Probably, but let’s see what the tape brings up. We should also try to find out what the cops are thinking.”
I poured myself a cup of coffee. “I don’t think he liked hearing the police might suspect him.”
Cyrus shrugged as he pulled a donut from the box that he brought in. “No, who would? But it’s not likely that they’re doing nothing, so if they’re not talking to him, there must be a reason.”
“Maybe we should do our jobs and not just go on conjecture.”
“Right.”
I started out of my office.
“Did you ever find April?” he asked.
I stopped in the doorway, taking a breath to hide my emotions before turning to him. “Nope. Why?”
“I suspect she’s the real reason you’re not sleeping.”
“I don’t remember a course in psychoanalysis in SEAL training.”
He laughed. “It doesn’t take a shrink to see that she’s still in your system. What are you going to do about it?”
I shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do. She dumped me, remember?” I walked out before he could respond. I went into my office, shutting the door. A few nights ago, I was feeling like maybe April and I could have a second chance. Or at least spend some time together to see if we still had something, and if not, be able to close that chapter of my life. Today, my feelings were much different. If I stayed away from her, I’d still have my memories of that summer. Seeing her now, having her tell me she wasn’t interested in me, would taint all the good memories I had. Yes, I had a letter from her saying she was done with me, but even that had a level of distance in which I could pretend it didn’t happen and I could focus on the good.
I scraped my hands over my face, realizing what a pussy I was being. I needed to stop letting April torment me like this. The best way to end it, would be to completely forget it. To cut myself off from it. That meant, not thinking of her and certainly not trying to find her. It was time for me to make my own place in Bismarck.
I started my computer and began a search to find a permanent place to live. A bachelor pad, maybe.
6
April
I was a smart educated woman, but my job was mostly a glorified secretary, because again, August seemed unable to see me as more than a pregnant high school student. Or maybe it was because this God-awful software he has us using now was so lame, that it made me look inept.
Tired of fighting with it, I rose from my desk and strode down to August’s office. I knocked and popped my head in.
“What do you need, April, I’m really busy?” August didn’t bother to look up at me and instead kept his gaze on his computer.
“Well, gee Auggie, the rest of us are having a party out here.” I glared at him. “Do you know how insulting you are when you talk like that?”
He sighed in that way that said he was pissed that we were going to have it out again.
Deciding to get right to it, I said, “That software is shit. We need to change to another one.”
“We don’t have the time or money—”
“It’s wasting time and money. I’ve done the research and found one that’s much better, offers better support, and while it costs more, it would more than pay for itself when all of us are more productive because we’re not dealing with lags and other defects of the current program.”
He sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers. “There are a lot of tradeoffs as a business owner.”
I rolled my eyes that he was going to go over that same song and dance. I knew it verbatim now.
“You might not understand how it works—”
“I do understand the software as I’m the one who has to battle with it every day. And I understand this business. Better than you and anyone else because I’m the only one who has to manage information and data from every single department. Now I’ve done the math and if you’d deign to come off your high horse and take the meeting that I scheduled with you twice, you’d see my research yourself.”
His jaw clenched. “The manager of your department hasn’t come to me with any problems—”
“He’s playing golf! He doesn’t give a crap about this.” I decided to leave out the fact that I could manage the department better. And in fact, as the daughter of the founder, and August’s sister, I should have a bigger role here. Not from nepotism, but because I was competent and earned the right to have my place. “Are you sexist or is it just me that you don’t respect?”
“April, I don’t have time for one of your tantrums—"
“Fuck you, Auggie.” My temper whipped out, surprising even me. “I’m sick and tired of you dismissing me and everything I try to contribute to make this firm run better. You do the same thing at home, and I’m done with it. I get that I was an immature, inexperienced, naïve kid when mom and dad died and you had to help me. But now I’m educated, experienced, smart, and certainly more committed to this firm than that dickwad manager Lowell. But listen, if you can’t value me and my input, I’ll find some place that will.”
He rolled his eyes telling me he thought I was being histrionic. “You’re overreacting. Take the day off and—”
“I quit.” I didn’t even wait for his response. I walked back to my desk and packed my things. The fact that he didn’t follow me or try to stop me meant he didn’t care or didn’t believe me. Probably both. He’d see this as more proof that I was immature and needed his guidance.
Fueled by my anger, I carried my things out to my car, tossing them in the back. I got in and drove, not knowing where I’d go. Thank goodness Maya was at camp all day because the realization of what I’d just done hit me and I’d need some time to deal with it. I’d just stood up to my brother and quit my job. It felt so good, and yet also terrifying.
I started past a park and decided to stop to gather my wits about me. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.
“This is it, April,” I told myself. “Phase one of Get My Own Life.” Now that I was out from under August at work, I had to get out from under him at home. That meant moving.
I took out my phone and did a search on available apartments. Not having a job would make moving out hard, but I did have my little nest egg just for this purpose. Plus, I did have my share of the trust, although I’d need to fight August over accessing it.
I realized I’d walked out on August telling him I was competent and could take care of myself, so I’d try to make my own way without the trust. I’d get a new job, find a new place, and Maya and I would finally be free to live our own lives.
I remembered the apartments I’d mentioned to August the other day, so I drove over to them. Now was the time to implement phase two of getting my own life. I parked in the parking lot and walked into the leasing office.
“Hi, welcome to Riverside Apartments.” The thirtyish woman behind the desk smiled and stood. “How can I help you?”
“I’m interested in finding a two-bedroom apartment.” I tried to look solid and professional, but inside I was feeling giddy, and a little nauseous. Was I really doing this? Was I really moving beyond dreaming and researching my escape from August’s clutches to doing something about it?
“I happen to have two. I can show you one now, as it’s empty, but the layout is the same as the other one, which will be available next month. Do you have a time frame for moving?”
“As soon as possible.”
She went to a board where keys hung and took one down. “Well then, let’s go look at the one available
now.”
She came around the desk as the door behind me opened. “Hi, welcome to Riverside Apartments. How can I help you?”
“I’m here about an apartment.”
I whipped around at the deep baritone voice. Jude. I almost didn’t recognize him. Well, that wasn’t quite true. I’d know him anywhere. I didn’t even have to look at him to know it was him. His voice. The scent of him. All that was the same. But the Jude I’d known growing up was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. Now, he was wearing a crisp white shirt and charcoal gray slacks. I’d never seen him in a suit and I had to admit, it looked good on him. I realized that I still thought of him as the twenty-one year old who left to join the military and never came back. The Jude in front of me was a full-grown man. His shoulders were broader, his face leaner, his eyes sharper. My heart fluttered in my chest and I had to remind it that this was the guy who abandoned me and Maya.
“I was just going to show this woman a tour of the complex and a two-bedroom apartment. You can tag along if you like,” the leasing woman said, as she took a long look at Jude too.
“I only need one room,” he said, looking at me in an expression I couldn’t read. Had the two-bedroom comment given Maya away? No, I tossed that idea aside. He didn’t remember or care that I’d been pregnant. So more likely he was just surprised to run into me again. Surprised, but not in a good way if the impassive expression on his face was an indication.
“I’ll grab a key to one of our one-bedroom units too.” She went back to her board of keys, grabbing another one. “Shall we go?” She dangled the keys from her fingers as she walked past me with her gaze on Jude. “We’ve got many amenities like a gym. You look like you work out,” she said to him.
Eight Long Years: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance (Heart of Hope Book 5) Page 4