I looked down. “Why would August do this, April.” I lifted my gaze to her, my heart feeling completely gutted. “What did I do to deserve what he did?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess he felt betrayed since you were his friend. But also, he was under extreme pressure when my parents died—”
“And that gave him the right to take my child?”
“No. It’s no excuse. I’m just saying he wasn’t the same. He felt responsible for me—”
“And I wasn’t good enough for you.”
She shrugged. “You’re right that he controlled me, but not anymore, Jude. I won’t let him do anything to keep you and Maya apart.”
“What about you and me?”
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“Except when you’re letting me touch you, you’ve been clear that you don’t think there is a future for us. But I’m here now, so whether you care for me or not, we need to raise Maya together.”
“Do you think there’s a future for us?”
I drank my wine feeling a little annoyed by her question. “I’ve been fairly clear about what I want, April.”
She looked down into her untouched glass of wine. “I thought maybe your feelings had changed after all this.”
“I won’t deny that I’m angry and hurt, mostly at August, but some at you too. But I’m able to see your point of view. Unless your efforts to thwart my advances was to hide Maya—”
She looked up at me, and I saw that for a time that was true. Pain lanced my heart again.
“I see. So, I wasn’t ever supposed to know.” I turned away, putting my glass in the sink.
“Jude, I thought you didn’t care about me or the baby for so long. When you came back, you were the same person that I’d loved before, but I couldn’t get passed that you’d just left me knowing I was pregnant—”
“I didn’t know,” I seethed.
“I know that now. I didn’t before. So, I was torn. I wanted you, but I kept coming back to how you left me pregnant. And then you never asked about it, and yes, maybe I should have considered that you didn’t know, but I didn’t.”
“What about now?”
“What about now? I hurt you. You’ve got Maya to consider now. I can see that she is first and foremost in your mind, as she should be.”
I gritted my teeth as I looked out to the living area where Maya slept on my couch. Then I turned to April. “From the moment I returned, I’ve been wanting to know if we could have the dream that we’d planned. That hasn’t changed, April.” The truth was, Maya made my need to find out if April and I had a future even more pressing.
She let out a breath. “Jude.”
“But if you don’t feel anything for me—”
She pressed her hand to my chest. “I do feel for you.” She moved her hand up to my cheek. “You’re a wonderful man. A wonderful father.”
I closed my eyes, savoring the emotion of her thinking I was a good dad.
“I hate that I hurt you, Jude. I can’t bear the pain in your eyes knowing I’m a part of putting it there.”
I dropped my forehead against hers. She tilted her head, her lips pressing to mine. I clung to it like a lifeline, slanting my head to kiss her back.
When she broke away, she looked up at me. “Did you get a bed?”
My dick came to life, although I tried to tell him to shut up. Now wasn’t the time or place. Was it?
“I did. King size.”
“Have you slept in it yet?”
I shook my head.
“Maya is out for the night. Maybe you’d be willing to let me crash here with you.”
Okay, so maybe my dick wasn’t misbehaving. “I do need to break in the bed.”
“Well then.” She took my hand and led me from the kitchen to the bedroom. She shut and locked the door. “I know I can’t make up for what happened, Jude, but I’d like to try to make you feel better. To drive out the pain. To give you a moment of just pleasure.”
My blood heated, sizzling through my veins. “I won’t stop you from trying.”
She slid my shirt over my head, running her hands over my chest, leaning in and kissing me.
Her hands undid my pants, pushing them down and freeing my dick. Her hand gripped it, making me hiss. She lowered down to her knees. It was the most erotic sight ever and yet, not necessary.
“You don’t need to do that,” I said. I didn’t want a pity orgasm.
“I want to, Jude.” She licked my tip, and I growled in response. My hands threaded through her hair as she sucked my dick deep in one swallow nearly bringing me to my knees. I’d taught her how to give a blow job years ago, but I didn’t remember her being so confident and forward in it. For a moment, I wondered if she’d honed her skills on other men. But then her fingers brushed the area between my balls, and my brain short circuited. There was nothing but pleasure as her mouth and fingers sucked and touched and made me delirious.
It felt so fucking good and yet, not quite perfect.
“Wait,” I gasped before she could make me come. I reached down, taking her arms and hauling her up. “I need to be inside you.”
“You can.” She reached for me again.
“Now. I need to be inside you now.” It wasn’t just sexual need driving me. It was like I needed to be a part of her to feel whole again.
With my help, she was undressed in seconds flat. I lay her on the bed, my body over hers. She was in my home, in my bed. Our daughter slept peacefully in the other room. This was what I’d always wanted. I’d left her for the dream of being here one day. Now that it was here, there was still so much in the way, and yet, I had hope like I hadn’t had since I got her breakup letter, that maybe we would finally make it and be a family.
I maneuvered my hips between her thighs, perching my tip at her hot wet entrance. I took her hands, pushing them over her head as I gripped them.
“Look at me, April. Look at me when I enter you.”
Her hazel eyes, flashing green with heat, gazed into mine. Her fingers squeezed my hands. She was with me.
I drove my hips down, sliding inside her. Sliding home.
20
April
I’d been certain that any good feelings Jude had for me were extinguished the moment he’d learned about Maya. When we put Maya down so we could talk, I was sure it would be about visitation schedules and how to coparent. I definitely didn’t expect him to suggest that he still wanted me.
But he did, and I wanted him too. More than just sex, I wanted to love him. I wanted to show him the depth of my feelings. To worship his body and bring him pleasure, hopefully destroying all the pain I’d brought to him.
I started by sucking his dick, doing it the way I remembered he taught me that he liked. I felt so powerful listening to his groans, feeling his fingers flex and grip my head as I sucked and licked.
But then he pulled me up, undressed me, and now he was sliding inside me. It felt so deliciously sweet. His gaze was intense as he drove into me. In that moment, we were exactly like we’d been eight years ago. Perfect.
He moved, sliding in and out, slowly, and I wanted to let go. Let sensation pull me under and then over. But my goal had been to love him. To let him know through my touch how much I cared for him.
“I want a turn,” I managed to say as he ground his hips against me, hitting my sensitive clit.
He rolled us, and now I was on top. My hands gripped his pecs, lightly kneading them. I leaned over licking and then sucking his nipples, loving how he let out harsh hiss when I lightly bit one and tugged.
I sat up, sinking deeper over him as I ran my hands down his chest and belly. He reached up, his fingers tweaking my nipples.
“You still have the most fantastic tits,” he said. He levered up, wrapping his lips around one, and sucking hard, making me forget for a moment that I wanted to run this seduction.
“Jude,” I gasped as his mouth on my nipples made my pussy clench tight.
“I love it
when you say my name. Tell me my name is the only one you say, April.”
I gripped his head, holding him to me as I rode him, faster, harder, my pussy becoming achingly more needy.
“Only you…Jude…”
He growled against my breast, the vibration echoing through me. “Make me come, baby…fuck I need to come.” He flopped back, his hands gripping my waist as he began to buck his hips in time with me.
His dick was thick as it moved inside me with increasing friction that made it hard for me to breathe.
“Oh God…” I was so close. My head dropped back as I reached for the end line. My body felt wild and feverish as it bounced over him.
“Fuck, I’m there…” he gasped. His thumb slid down, flicking over my clit and stars burst behind my eyes as pleasure exploded from my pussy, radiating out through my entire body.
I bit my lip to keep from screaming out his name so that we didn’t wake Maya. I covered his mouth with my palm, hoping to muffle his cry as his hips shot up, and warm liquid filled me.
I collapsed on him, exhausted and yet feeling sated. His arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe and wanted. For a moment, I let myself believe in the dream we’d had. He and I living happily together with our child. Not that I didn’t think it couldn’t happen still. The odds of it were much improved. But there was still so much in our way. He was my boss. How would Cyrus feel about this? Did Jude want to keep all this a secret? Did I?
The biggest hurdle would be August. Even if it turned out that August would accept Jude now, there was no getting past what he’d done to us. What he’d taken from Jude. I wasn’t sure Jude could forgive that. In a worse scenario, August would still be adamant that Jude and I shouldn’t be together. That sort of family discord wasn’t something I wanted Maya around all the time.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured against my neck. He rolled me, until he was on top. “Right now, let’s just be.”
I didn’t know how he knew I was ruminating, but I was able to push it aside and focus on right now. Especially when he started sliding inside me again. His dick growing, thickening as he did.
“That was fast,” I gasped.
“I have a lot of time to make up for.”
We made love again, this time slower, sweeter, and still so satisfying. I knew without a doubt that Jude was the only man for me and so if August messed this up, I’d be alone.
When we finished, I put on one of Jude’s t-shirts and running shorts to sleep in. He balked about wearing clothes, but I remined him there was a child in the other room. He had the sweetest smile at the reminder that made my heart swell. He put on shorts and climbed into bed with me.
“How do people have more than one kid if they have to sleep in pajamas?” he joked pulling me closer to him.
“They have quickie sex and then get dressed.”
He kissed my forehead and held me close until we both fell asleep.
I woke to an empty bed and for a minute, I wondered if yesterday, last night, was a dream. But I could smell his scent around me. The heat of his body was still in the mattress beside me. I heard a clanging in the other room.
I rose and went to the kitchen where I found Jude and Maya cooking together. She was standing on a chair next to him, whisking something in a bowl.
“Hi mama. We’re making pancakes.”
Jude turned to look at me. “Good morning.” He winked, and in it I saw a sexy kiss that he couldn’t give me because Maya was there.
“Good morning. Pancakes huh?”
“We had to run out to the grocery to get the goods,” he said.
“I’m doing an experiment, mama.”
“Oh?” I came to stand on the other side of her.
She held a ladle with batter, and drizzled it out in the pan in a pattern that made it look like a funnel cake.
“See there are still holes in it. The syrup can fill it,” she explained.
“Smart.” I kissed her cheek.
Jude tilted his cheek to me, clearly expecting a kiss too. For a moment, I hesitated. Should I be showing him affection in front of Maya, especially since it was unclear what was going to happen between us?
But then I remembered all he’d lost and had to endure because of August. It was cruel to withhold affection, especially when I felt it so deeply. I kissed his cheek.
Maya giggled. “Two little love birds.”
My phone rang, interrupting the perfect family morning. When I saw it was August, I cursed him for having such bad timing. I considered ignoring it, but I had to face him head on. My job. My home. My family. He couldn’t have any sway over it anymore.
“I’ll take this in the living area,” I said to them.
Jude arched a brow, like maybe he knew it was August, but then Maya distracted him. “That one looks like a heart, doesn’t it, daddy.”
“It sure does sweetie.”
In the other room, I poked the answer button. “August.”
“We need to talk, April.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Can you meet me at Skip’s for brunch. In an hour.”
“Now?” I was thinking I could meet him tomorrow, although that was a workday.
“The sooner the better.”
“Okay, but no ambushing me with another eligible bachelor.” I looked over to the kitchen, and saw Jude scowling. I blew him a kiss.
“Just us,” August said. “Will you be there?”
“Yes. Skips, one hour.” I hung up the phone and blew out a breath.
“I take it you’re going to see August?” Jude said, flatly.
I nodded. “He and I have some things we need to work out.”
“He’s probably lonely,” Maya said. “He’s all by himself.”
I held my breath as I waited for what Jude might say to her comment.
“Sounds like he needs friends.” The comment itself was benign but I knew underneath it, Jude was chastising August for being a horrible friend.
Although I was going to Skips in an hour, I sat with Jude and Maya, my family, and had Crazy Cakes, as Maya called them. This was the life I wanted.
An hour later, leaving Maya with Jude, both of them quite content to play Go Fish, I showed up at Skips. August was already there, and our plates were served.
I huffed out a breath at his audacity, and pushed away the plate with the spinach egg white omelet, I’m sure he ordered for me because he thought I was carrying a few too many extra pounds to win whatever man he was going to arrange for me to be with.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I know what’s going on, April, and it has to stop.”
I arched a brow. “What do you mean?”
“I held my tongue when you walked out on your job, on the family business because I know you’ll be back. But then you stopped coming home and never let me know where you were.” His tone was matter of fact as he used his toast to scoop up egg yolk.
“You’re not my parent, August.”
He looked up from his brunch. “I’m responsible for you and Maya.”
“No, you’re not. Not anymore.”
“Living in your friend’s guest bedroom isn’t being responsible for yourself, April. Maya needs her own room, her own home. A yard.”
I didn’t disagree. “It’s temporary, August.”
He wiped his mouth. “I know your new employer as well.”
My breath hitched as I waited for what he’d say.
“Is working for the man who betrayed us both some attempt to get back at me? Are you trying to prove some point? I would have thought you smarter than that. Did you forget that he left you pregnant and never looked back?”
I leaned forward as anger gathered in my belly and worked its way up. “You have some nerve, August.”
His eyes widened and he flinched.
“I know the truth. I know Jude didn’t walk away. I know you sent him a forged letter saying I was breaking things off. I know you intercepted the other letters I sent. Blocked his phone fro
m contacting mine.” I sat back, wondering about the man sitting across from me. “He never knew about Maya. How could you be so cruel, August?”
“He’s not good enough for you.”
“What about Maya. You kept her from knowing her father.”
He waved a hand. “He’s definitely not good enough for her. She has me for a father-figure.”
For a moment I could only gape. “In your research, did you see he became a Navy SEAL? You don’t think a man who serves his country honorably is good enough? What have you done for your country lately, August?”
“April—”
“No. I’m tired of living under your thumb.” I was about to express appreciation for all that he’d done to help me and Maya, but then I remembered that I’d needed help because he’d prevented Jude from coming home. “I’m living my own life. Maybe it’s a little late, and maybe I’ll make a few mistakes, but it’s time.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he said, picking up his coffee. He truly believed he could bend me to his ways simply by sheer will. “Let me make you understand. I’m not going to sit idly by and watch you throw your life away on a man who isn’t worthy. I’m certainly not going to let you risk Maya’s life, her future, on your attempts to relive your teenage summer fling.”
“August!”
“If you keep behaving like this, like a child, I’m going to keep treating you like one. That includes continuing to control the trust.” He stood. “Stay away from Jude Mason. If you don’t, I will ruin him. You know I can. The Davidson family is well loved and respected. I’m well-respected, and regardless of what you think you know, I can turn this town against him.”
He stalked off. For a moment, I’d felt triumphant, but then, as always happened when sparring with August, he’d given me a fatal blow.
21
Jude
I wasn’t sure what I expected from April following our reconciliation, but it wasn’t her avoiding me. After her brunch with August, she returned, and spent the day with me and Maya, but there was a distance in the way she interacted with me. I could only imagine that August had said something. The problem was, I couldn't talk to her about it with Maya there.
Eight Long Years: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance (Heart of Hope Book 5) Page 12