With pale, hesitant fingers, I lift the chain of the necklace, unwinding it from the tree. The metal is still warm to the touch and I shudder because it wasn't Rey who held it last.
Attached to the necklace, wound into its chain, is a slip of paper, another of Elijah's notes. My stomach lurches as I disentangle and unroll it.
You want this over? So do I. If you want to see either of them again, you have till noon to come unarmed to where this all started. If you're late, one dies. If you attempt to bring anyone with you, I kill them both.
There are three ways today will end. One; I don't go and he kills one of them and I die because I can't live without both of them. Two; I tell Ryder and we go together and Elijah finds out and kills both of them and I die because I can't live without both of them. Three; I follow Elijah's orders and go alone and he kills me and ends this all. Any which way I play Elijah's twisted game, today my luck runs out.
The note tumbles from my fingers, floating to the dirt where it rests on the stone wreckage piled there.
I have to go though. Alone. I have no choice. And I have to hurry because according to the sun, it’s almost noon. Casting a pitiful look at the burned compound and poor little cabins making a final stand in the ashes, I see Ryder stalking toward me from the cabins.
“Poppet, don’t!”
He knows.
I can’t let him follow me, I can’t let him know where I’m going because I can’t put Jax and Rey at risk.
Slamming my shoulder against the broken gate, I force it towards its mate, shoving the two as close together as their warped frames will allow. Ryder’s feet pound on the damp earth, drawing him closer and closer and I’m almost out of time. Yanking a large limb from the ground, I jam it through the handles of the gates, locking them in place.
Then I turn and bolt into the tree line. The branch won’t stop Ryder, but it will buy me a few minutes. If I move quickly enough, I can disappear into the woods before he makes it out of the compound. I only need to be a few minutes ahead of him to save the boys I love. Once I’m there, Elijah won’t draw this out any further. A few minutes head start is all I need. Ryder will be pissed at me, but I'll be dead so it won't really matter.
Charging through the underbrush, ducking low branches, leaping over logs and dodging thorns and rocks, I run and run, zig-zagging through the woods, until my lungs burn and legs tingle with sharp aches and cramps. Leaning against a tree I pant and gasp as sweat beads down my skin, the rising humidity of the late-spring morning making it hard to breathe.
My ears prick for any sound of boots or motion along the thick shrubbery. Confirming Ryder isn’t following, or at least not in the correct direction, I check my bearings. I'm pretty sure I'm headed the right way, but I've only gone through here once before and that was at night and I wasn't really paying attention because I had a gun at my back. I can't be wrong though. I have no time for screw ups. Then I second guess my destination anyway since the note wasn't specific. I’m only guessing at the location Elijah has given.
No choice. I have no choice.
I need to act now and pray I'm not wrong. Shoving off the tree, I take off again, winding along the overgrown, nearly invisible pathway. It's useless to look for clues or signs of someone coming through here before me. Elijah's grown up in this type of environment, he knows how to move through the forest without leaving a trail. He won't make this easy for me.
I run my fingers over the chain of my mother's necklace still wrapped around my hand, tangled into my fingers. Stopping once more, my heart pounding from both fear and exertion, I link the chain around my neck, fingering the delicate charm. Somehow, it gives me strength. My mother wore it until her final minutes. I will too. Maybe, if I still have a teensy bit of luck left, I can have Rey or Jax pass it on to Nadia when I'm gone. It will be the only thing I leave behind in this world.
And fading memories of course, but eventually those will be gone too, no further remains of my mark on this world, the fact I was here and I tried my damnedest to live. I will be like the towering buildings that once littered the surface, tall and strong and invincible. So many of those are gone now, not so much as the hint of their foundations remaining, as if they never existed at all.
The idea of my imminent death strikes me, punching me in the gut and causing me to double over. A strangled sob escapes my throat and I fall to my knees on the damp earth.
I die today. Today. No more sunrises and no more sunsets. No more hopes or dreams or plans of a future where I could be happy someday. This is it, my final hour, leaving behind so many things undone.
It's not like I've never considered my death before. Living in ROC, reminders of death are everywhere, especially on Gamble days. And there was my failed suicide attempt after Rey’s number was chosen, but even that didn't seem real at the time, I was so consumed by grief.
"All I ever wanted was to see the sky," I whisper to myself. Tears obscure my vision, but I wipe them away to gaze up at the sky; blue and brilliant and vast. Was it worth it? Was the sky worth dying over?
Yes. I had wanted it to be the last thing I saw and, after all of this, it still will be. Drawing in deep breaths and shoving to my feet. It can't be much farther now.
CHAPTER TWENTY- SIX
In the last few yards, I know I picked the correct location because I see three sets of footprints in the soft, damp earth, one marching confident and unwavering, two stumbling behind, the toes of the boots sliding against the mud. I hope they're ok, Jax and Rey, I can't bear to face my last minutes of life if I find them hurt.
Calming my pace, I close my eyes, willing the shaking in my limbs to subside before I walk into Elijah's trap. I have no idea what I will find, I have no weapon, I have nothing but myself. But that's what Elijah wants. Just me.
Notching my chin higher and steeling my gaze, I march the last several feet, brush aside a leafy branch, skirt a prickly bush and step into the small clearing surrounding the external, metal door to ROC. Where I once emerged from. Where this all began the moment I set foot on the surface.
I haven't seen the door in weeks. The rusted metal barrier and faded "Danger" sign seem insignificant and harmless set into a hillside of grass and moss and wildflowers. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume it once belonged to a long-abandoned government building filled now with nothing but dust and dirt and stale air. Maybe a few dead rodents. My father's gun rests somewhere around here, but I'll never find it, if it will even work after a month of exposure to the elements. Like me, the gun will never leave this place.
However, it's not the door or the thought of the gun that holds my attention. In front of the solitary, impenetrable entrance to ROC, Jax and Rey kneel, wrists bound behind their backs and mouths gagged.
Rey looks okay, healthy and strong, just like I left him, only a few fresh marks and bruises that had to be Elijah’s doing. Jax on the other hand, appears weak and sickly, his pale skin dotted with perspiration. A circle of blood seeps into his T-shirt where his cauterized wound has begun to weep and drain from too much physical exertion.
But they are both alive and I exhale a deep breath of relief. With Elijah, I’m never sure what I will find.
As I step into the clearing, both of them look up, eyes widening as they strain against their bindings, screams muffled. Jax jerks his head no, face imploring me to run.
I hold up my empty hands. "It's ok. I know what I'm doing here. I haven't been tricked or walked into a trap. I know how this ends."
Behind them stands Elijah, red hair shining in the mid- day sun. In his hand glints the metal of a handgun, which he alternates between the back of Jax and Rey's heads. I swallow the lump in my throat, raising my own hands higher.
"Elijah, I came alone, just like you asked."
"Good," he sneers. "I was convinced you were going to do something stupid."
I take a couple steps forward until I stand less than six feet from Jax and Rey. I can almost touch them. "I followed your instructions. I'm here alone a
nd unarmed. No one else is coming. You can let them go now. I'm the one you want."
"Stop," he orders, aiming the gun at me and I freeze in my tracks. Then he smiles, teeth glittering like fangs, hair wild about his head, skin smudged and smeared with dirt from his brief time living in the woods. He doesn't even look human anymore. "I'm not letting them go just yet."
I grit my teeth, anger flashing across my face. "What do you want from me then? To go with you somewhere? To kill myself? Whatever it is, I'll do it. You don't need to use Jax or Rey anymore."
Elijah chuckles, sinister and bone-chilling. "Actually, I do need them. I'm going to make a very generous deal with you. In fact, it will be the same deal my grandfather gave to Charlie."
"You mean your mother," I say.
His features contort and darken. "She is not my mother. She abandoned me because she was too afraid to do what needed to be done. She turned her back on her family because she couldn't make the hard choices in life. But let's see if you can. Can you make hard choices, Kelsey?"
"I'm here aren't I? Despite knowing you're going to kill me."
"Oh, I'm not going to kill you. I mean, I wanted to. A part of me still does, but I won’t. That would be too simple, too easy for you. You don't deserve easy, not after all the trouble you've caused."
A fresh wave of dread washes over me. "You said, in your note, if I came alone and unarmed you wouldn't hurt them."
Now his chuckles turn to laughter, a cold, empty sound erupting from deep in his chest. "All this time and you still don't know what to look for in the things I don't say. Read between the lines, Kelsey! Reading comprehension is your friend. I said I wouldn’t hurt one of them. Doesn’t mean I won’t hurt the other, and you’re going to help. Today, you are going to walk out of here alive because you are going to make a choice. One that will mean I never bother you again, but one that will haunt you for the rest of your pathetic, dismal life. You are going to choose whether dear Jax here dies, or whether Rey does."
If words held actual, physical force, I'd be dead right now. Instead, my arms fall to my sides as my mouth drops open, all energy and confidence draining from my body.
"What?" I choke.
"It's simple, really. You're going to choose between Jax or Rey. I mean, isn't that what you've been trying to do for weeks now? One of them dies, one of them lives. Which one will it be?"
I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't even stand up anymore as the world spins and tumbles, tossing me to the ground on all fours. I curl the grass between my fingers, gagging and wrenching. My hair cascades around my face as I rock on my hands and knees, unable to grasp what Elijah has said.
"No. No. I will never choose that," I whisper.
"That isn't one of the options I've given you. It's either Jax, or it's Rey."
"No!"
"Then I kill both of them!"
"NO!" I scream, finding the strength to haul myself back to my feet, swaying and dizzy as desperate panic sets in. I look to Jax and then to Rey, both hopeless and helpless between Elijah and me. Their looks of despair weight on me, heavy and constricting.
“Kill me!” I cry, my voice shrill and desperate as I beat my chest. “Kill me instead!”
It's what I was prepared for. It's why I came here. To die, not to... not for this.
Around his gag, Jax screams in protest, struggling against the ropes that bind his arms. Rey, clear blue eyes wide, shakes his head so violently that his neck may snap. But I don’t care about their objections. I’d rather Elijah kill me because if he takes one of them, I’ll only die anyway.
“No,” Elijah replies, his voice hissed and snarling, more like a feral animal than a man. “Like I said, killing you would make this too easy. I want you to suffer instead. I want you to PAY for what your father and your people did to mine! To everyone on the surface! I want you to pay for what you did to my grandfather and to my home. I want you to pay for all of it."
“I didn’t kill Sawyer, and I didn’t have anything to do with what’s happened on the surface.”
His eyes glitter like a demonic beast. “This is your punishment, Sub, so which one is it going to be?”
The gun passes back and forth between Jax and Rey as Elijah trains it on each of them in turn, his wicked stare never leaving my face. My heart rages so bad inside my chest, it might burst through my ribcage. I hear its pounding in my ears, drowning out everything except Elijah’s orders.
“Choose!” he screams, features contorting with psychotic rage as he thrusts the gun at Rey.
I shut my eyes. I can’t risk looking at one too long and making Elijah think I’ve made my choice. I can’t see their eyes boring into my skull like a bullet of its own as I am forced to decide their fates. One lives, one dies. Either way, one never walks out of this. Either way, I loose. Jax or Rey.
“No!” I sob, unable to draw a full breath as my chest squeezes painfully, crushing my lungs. Opening my eyes again I find Elijah’s twisted face, his rage burning through as I plead. “Please, Elijah. Please, don’t do this.”
My insides rip apart as I stare helplessly at Jax and Rey, both fighting against their restraints with looks of solid determination. Despite everything I’ve done, the situation they are now in, they both still want to save me. I can’t fathom why. I don’t deserve them and I definitely don’t deserve to be saved.
“Do it,” Elijah spits, “or I swear I’ll shoot them both.”
Tears pour down my cheeks, pooling along my chin before escaping to the ground. I look and the two boys I love, the two who mean more to me in this world than my own life.
Someone will die, that’s the only way this will end, with their death and not my own. But I can’t choose. I never could. Not over who I love more and certainly not over who should live and who should die. I love them both, I want them both here. Neither deserves this, deserves anything I have done to them. If one dies, a part of me will die too and all I wish is that Elijah would turn that gun on me so this can be over.
“Elijah, I can’t. Please don’t make me choose.”
“Fine. I’ll make this easier for you. Let’s play a little game.” Jamming the gun in the back of Jax’s head, Elijah smiles again and it occurs to me he enjoys this. My misery is fun for him and this is nothing more than sadistic entertainment. The thought churns my stomach; that someone can be so rotten and deranged to their very core that they find joy in another’s unbearable agony.
Charlie blames herself for what he has become, but this kind of insatiable savagery isn't created, it is born. Somehow, in whatever way our consciousness is constructed, Elijah's didn't mold together properly. He is a demon that should have never been allowed to walk the Earth.
I have no weapon, if I try to overcome Elijah he’ll shoot one of them. Ryder… he’s my only hope but I have no idea where he is, if he will even arrive on time. If I can just stall Elijah a little longer, if I can just give Ryder a few more minutes, maybe we can still win this. Jax and Rey can live.
“Elijah,” I whisper, my tone pleading. “Please. Please don’t do this.”
Jax doesn’t flinch as Elijah’s thumb pulls back the hammer, the soft click echoing in the trees as the gun cocks. I feel every muscle in my body contract in fear.
“Einy,” Elijah says with a sneer. “Meeny. Miney. Mo.” The gun transfers back and forth, back and forth, jabbing into their heads every time. And each time he does, I feel another part of me rupture deep in my soul, as if I am coming undone from the inside out, crumpling and splintering.
“Elijah, stop! Choose me instead. Please choose me!”
His eyes burn into mine, as he continues. “Catch. A tiger. By. His toe.”
“Stop!” I scream, voice wavering, cheeks wet with tears as my entire body convulses, nerves unraveling.
“I’ll stop when you choose!” He screams. The gun still alternates between them, hovering behind their heads as if it has a mind of its own and can’t wait to destroy everything in my world.
“I can�
��t!” I cry.
“Einy. Meeny. Miney.”
The gun fires, freezing me, a new scream trapped in my throat as the cracking sound of the shot bounces through the forest, echoing in my ears until I can hear nothing else. I feel it against my bones, rattling my insides and making the blood ice over in my veins. A single noise that has now changed the entire course of my existence in this world.
Suddenly, in the small window of opportunity I’m given, and a large bit of utter insanity because it is all I have left, I’m lunging at Elijah. I hurl myself into his chest, wrapping an arm around his neck and together we tumble to the hard ground. Two more gunshots whip past my head, one taking a chunk of my left earlobe, but in my crimson-tinged wrath, I barely register the fiery pain.
I straddle him, slamming a forearm across his throat. Our noses nearly touch as he looks up at me from the ground. His eyes are devoid of emotion and filled with pure evil, the kind that wants nothing more than to watch the whole world crumble and decay until it is as cold and dead as the evil itself. And even then, he’ll never be happy, it will never be enough to feed his heartless madness.
But I am no longer scared. I am… I am… I'm something else entirely; something that I’d never even known slithered inside me, but now it unfurls in the shadows of my mind, a beast awoken from a deep slumber, charging forward to be free.
Twisting his arm, he moves to aim the gun at my temple. I’m not sure I even care anymore, if I even want to continue to live, but I will not die before I kill Elijah. We will go out of this life together. The fear of death that once confined me is gone, giving me the freedom do to what must be done.
A large rock sits beside us, I curl my fingers around it, heavy and solid in my hand. Without so much as a moment of hesitation, I slam it down onto his face. Bone crushes and blood spurts, splattering hot and thick across my skin. He shrieks and tries to recoil in agony, swatting at me and struggling to move away. But I’ve trapped him between my knees, pinning him to the ground with a strength that doesn’t feel human.
The Choice (The Gamble Series Book 2) Page 20