by Lilah Rivers
“How did he find you?” Justine asked.
“I have no idea. Perhaps he asked around enough that he learned that girls were going to America and he managed to find Miss Collins? I am not sure, but I can say that I must do all that I can to keep him at bay,” Gemma said.
“Well, now, I don’t know how you expect to do that. He already managed to find where you live. Not just the fact that you crossed half the world, but you really, actually live in this house,” Justine said.
Gemma sighed, but the sighing gave way to the tightening of her throat and soon the tears sprang to the backs of her eyes.
She buried her face in her hands and wept. Justine rushed beside her and started rubbing her back in a comforting way and Gemma leaned into her friend, feeling thankful for someone so caring and good.
“Everything is going to be okay. Amos will keep you safe,” Justine said.
“H-how can I t-tell him about this?” Gemma asked as she cried.
“What do you mean? He is your husband. He is committed and devoted to your protection. You must be confident that he is going to take care of you,” Justine said.
“It is not that I do not trust him. It is only that I am anxious to handle this on my own. He is an angry and possibly violent man. I fear for Amos if he should confront Lord Linton and try to keep him at bay,” Gemma said.
“Amos is very strong. Like I said, he will want to protect you,” Justine said.
“But what if this is nothing at all? What if Lord Linton sent instructions for Miss Collins to send the roses? Maybe it is she that I must contend with,” Gemma suggested.
“If you really believed that, you would have gone to her already,” Justine said.
Gemma dried her tears. Justine was right. But still, she could not gather herself. Nor could she fully explain it to Justine.
“Please, just give me a few more days. I might be able to find him and, if so, I can send him away on my own,” Gemma said.
“I don’t like it. You need to tell Amos,” Justine said.
Gemma rested a hand upon her arm and looked at her with pleading.
“Please, Justine. Just a few more days,” she said.
Justine inhaled and let it out so that it sounded more like a subtle growl than a breath.
“All right. I’ll give you a few more days, but I don’t like it,” Justine said.
“I know and I understand that. But I can handle this. If he is indeed present, I can be rid of Lord Linton quickly,” Gemma said.
Justine appeared dubious and Gemma could hardly blame her for it. After all, she had come all the way to America and still was unable to escape him. What else was she to do? What more could she do in order to survive?
Nevertheless, she was determined. Perhaps it was her pride, or maybe it was the fear of what could happen to Amos, but what Gemma truly believed was stopping her was simply shame.
She was ashamed that she had allowed herself into such a position. Certainly, she knew that she could do very little to stop it. After all, it was her parents who had arranged the marriage.
But that didn’t mean that Gemma was entirely innocent in all matters. She had been the one to get herself caught up in running away. And surely she was, in part, to blame for not being strong enough to resist the demands of her mother and father?
Even as she thought it, Gemma knew how false that was. She had done nothing of the sort. It was not her fault. And yet, somehow in her powerlessness, she wondered if she could have done more to prevent the matter.
Gemma realized that Justine was watching her, but she tried to ignore it. Whatever there was now between them, this secret held far too much. It was her deepest and greatest struggle.
Nevertheless, she was relieved that Justine had agreed to give her this time. At least now she would be able to figure out what all of her options were. At least now she could prevent Amos from learning how weak she really was and how little control she had over her own life.
“Gemma, can I just ask you for one small favor?” Justine began.
“Sure,” Gemma said with a shrug.
“If things change, if it looks like you might actually be in danger, please do your best to to give us a heads up. Don’t be frightened to talk to Amos and get his help,” Justine said.
Gemma nodded.
“I promise,” she said.
“Do you mean it, though?” Justine asked.
She paused to consider the promise she had just made. Justine was right to question it. Would she really do it? Would she actually go to them if she thought that she was in danger? Would she really ask Amos for help?
“Yes,” she said. “I promise.”
Justine let out a sound of relief and Gemma knew that she was making the right decision. She could do this herself, but if she got into a tough situation, she would relent, let go of her pride, and give herself over to the fact that she might need help.
“Well, I guess we’re all right then. I’m just glad to know that you’re going to be okay and you trust that Amos and I will look after you,” Justine said.
“I do. No matter how hard all of this may be, I trust the two of you,” she said, meaning it entirely.
With that, Gemma made her plans. She would go into town and try to find out any information that she could. If Lord Linton was in town, he would not be quiet.
She would find him. Hopefully before he wanted her to.
Chapter 22
“Nothing? You have never seen him before?” Gemma asked.
“Sorry, don’t really know what you expect. I haven’t seen a British man with a thin mustache,” said the baker.
“All right. Thank you anyway,” Gemma said, disheartened.
She had gone all around the town, entering any haunt that she had expected to find Lord Linton. Despite being a rather thin, greasy man, he was quite fond of bread and cake, so she had thought that one of the bakeries might have had some information for her.
But none of them had proven fruitful.
Miss Collins had been positively offended by the suggestion that she might have accepted money to send those letters to Gemma, and she also denied any knowledge of a man having come to find her.
Although she had appeared honest enough, Gemma was not sure that she trusted the woman. How else would Lord Linton have found her if not for help from Miss Collins and her sister?
She had even found some of the young women who had traveled with her to America, but none of them knew anything about Lord Linton.
But it had given Gemma an opportunity to see that many of them were doing quite well for themselves and had wealthy husbands now. Some of them had grown rather snobbish in the short time that they had been in America.
Whatever sad disappointment that Gemma felt, she accepted that she was going to learn nothing more in town. If Lord Linton was present, he was well hidden.
Gemma really was deeply saddened by the fact that she had learned nothing. In all of her clever attempts to find information, there ought to have been something that could have led her to the whereabouts of Lord Linton.
It was incredibly disheartening, but Gemma knew she would have to continue trying. Even if the trying was slow and stilted.
By the time she arrived back at the house, however, it was clear that something was going on.
As she entered, she heard laughter and voices.
Justine rushed from the living room and looked at her with excitement.
“Hey there!” she said in a happy voice.
“Hello, what’s going on?” Gemma asked.
“Sorry it’s a little noisy. Daniel’s family is here,” Justine said, grinning.
“You look rather happy about it,” Gemma said.
“Do I? Oh, I guess. I mean, why wouldn’t I be? They’re wonderful people. We always have a great time when we’re together,” Justine said.
Gemma nodded, a strange blend of being happy for Justine and…something else.
“Well, I won’t disturb you all. I hope you
enjoy your time together,” Gemma said.
“You must come and meet them. Please, just to say hello. They will not be here for much longer,” Justine said.
Gemma agreed and made her way into the living room where Daniel sat, looking kind and handsome, as Justine always spoke about. He was the spitting image of his father with the coloring of his mother.
Then there were his two sisters and his younger brother.
They welcomed Gemma kindly.
“Well, we were thrilled about the news when Daniel shared it. You seem like a very nice young lady and we are glad that Amos has found his match,” Daniel’s mother said.
“Oh, yes, thank you,” she said, trying to relax.
Gemma had never been shy, necessarily. But since coming to America, she felt so out of place that her confidence had wavered. This was just another moment of uncertainty.
“How do you find our country?” Mr. Bridges asked.
“It is very lovely. Different from what I expected, but I suppose I have only ever known England, so I should not be surprised,” she said.
“Oh, certainly. That makes a lot of sense,” he replied.
“You are very beautiful,” Tilly, Daniel’s youngest sister said, her eyes bright with wonder.
Gemma was shy from the compliment.
“Why, thank you!” she exclaimed.
“I mean it. You’re so pretty. Are all English women so pretty?” she asked, almost as if she had been starstruck by an actress from the London stage.
“Oh, they are far more beautiful than I,” she replied with a laugh.
Tilly gasped.
“Tilly, you are going to embarrass her,” Mrs. Bridges scolded.
“It was a very sweet thing to say,” Gemma said, defending the young girl.
The conversation moved on and they were soon back to discussing plans for the wedding that was forthcoming.
Justine looked as confident and carefree as always and Gemma admired the way she appeared to feel. There was something about Justine that she was so intrigued by.
But Gemma’s heart ached with longing. More than almost anything, she wished to be able to share her marriage with her own parents.
It was strange to be standing there when so much mirth was taking place, and yet she was not a part of it. Instead, she was a spectator. And her own life was still distant.
It would have been a wonderful thing for her mother and father to have the opportunity to meet Amos. No matter what the differences between them all, she was convinced that they would love him.
She considered the possibility of seeing them one day. She did not know how it would go, or if they would even be accepting of her anymore. Or if they would be accepting of her husband.
She wondered if they would ever come to understand the fact that Lord Linton was not the man they believed him to be. Perhaps they would see that Amos was the better option.
Gemma was deeply worried about what was to come. Nevertheless, she wanted to try and bring her family to an understanding of the life she had chosen for herself.
Of course, she recognized that that now started with Amos.
As if he knew that her thoughts were with him, Amos arrived home. He was filled with excitement as he joined them in the living room and relaxed, sitting next to Gemma and looking at her with admiration.
“We were just getting to know your wonderful wife,” Mrs. Bridges said.
“Oh? What do you think of her?” he asked, teasingly.
“She is perfectly sweet. And Tilly thinks she’s very pretty,” Daniel said on their behalf.
“I believe both of those assessments are accurate,” he grinned.
Gemma blushed again. She sat quietly, listening to the conversation that bustled around her and tried to be as polite as possible through it all.
“Well, I suppose we ought to be heading home. We have taken up an awful lot of your time here,” Mr. Bridges said.
“You are always welcome here,” Justine said, eagerly.
Gemma agreed. No matter how much of a struggle it might have been for her emotions to think of her own family so far away, she had really enjoyed the time with the Bridges family.
“Amos,” she said, after they all had gone.
“Yes?” he asked.
“I…I wondered if we might speak for a moment?” she asked.
Amos looked somewhat dubious, or worried, and Gemma wondered if Justine had told him her secret despite their agreement.
But as they sat alone together in the living room, she realized that he was only hesitant because her own demeanor was so tense.
“I hope you do not mind, but I was wondering if I might run an idea by you,” she said.
“Of course, what is it?” he asked.
“I very much enjoyed interacting with Daniel’s family,” she said.
“The Bridges are a wonderful family,” he said.
“Yes, they really are. And it reminded me of how wonderful it would be to have my own family knowing you,” she said.
Amos looked intently at Gemma and she tried to find exactly the words to tell him what she wanted.
“You see, it saddens me that they have had no opportunity to know you. I feel confident that, were they to meet you, they would understand that this was the right decision. I have done exactly as I ought to have,” she said.
“Yes, I am also quite sad that I have not had an opportunity to meet them. I imagine it must be difficult to have them no longer in your life,” Amos said.
“It is. But I would like to rectify that,” Gemma began. “You see, I do not expect it to go well, but I would like for them to be made aware that I am well and that I am married and happy.”
“I think that is a very wise idea. They are your parents and they deserve to know that you’re okay,” Amos said.
“Yes, I agree. So if I write to them and tell them about you, perhaps we may one day go and visit them,” she suggested.
“In England? I would love such an opportunity. To meet your mother and your father, to see where you are from, all of it,” Amos said.
“Truly? You would like that?” Gemma asked.
“I would. So do you think you will write to them now?” he asked.
“That is why I wished to ask for your opinion. Do you think it is a good decision? I would like to, but I would like your input,” she said, rather humbly.
It was strange, being able to go to her husband and know that they were able to make decisions together. All this time, she had still felt so alone, but she was reminded now that she was not.
Amos gave her an innocent smile, as if he, too, was surprised.