Demons Don't Dream

by Piers Anthony

  Of course he also happened to be with a beautiful woman, and wanted to impress her. That had to figure in. She had let him know early on that she was not about to go on a date with a mere Player, but maybe if he did something really worthy she would change her mind. So he had had that other reason to get into it She might be a mere fantasy character in her fantasy setting, able to do a type of magic nobody in his right mind would believe, but she was the loveliest creature he ever expected to see. Even if he never got to first base with her—in fact, even if he never came up to bat with her—he wanted her faint favor. He wanted her to remember him as more than a teenage jerk from Mundania. That potential memory had become very important to him.

  They were walking east, proceeding along the isthmus toward central Xanth. Because this was a game, there was bound to be another challenge soon. Things never just carried along smoothly, in games. That was why he had wanted supplies and weapons, though Nada had claimed that they were unnecessary. She had said that there were many things to eat along the way, and that it was her job to protect him from harm, so he would not have to defend himself. But he didn't want to depend on the largess of the land for food; a good game would see that they wound up hungry at some point. And he certainly didn't want to depend for protection on the woman he wanted to impress. So maybe she thought he was being foolish, but he was playing it smart. He hoped.

  Actually he sort of hoped for a bit of trouble to come, because he wanted an excuse to try out his new weapon. It was a magic sword the grateful isthmus Village headman had given him. It was supposed to be infinitely light for the user, and infinitely heavy for the opponent What that meant was that he would never get tired swinging it, but if he used it to fend off an opponent's blow, it would be as solid as a boulder. So nobody would brush his sword aside to get at him. He was no expert swordsman, but this should give him a great head start in using his weapon. If only he could find a pretext to try it out

  They came to a river. It wasn't broad or savage, but it was big enough so that it was clear that they could neither jump over it nor wade through it The path went up to the bank, and resumed on the far side.

  "Maybe there's a boat," Dug said, looking along the bank.

  "I fear not" Nada said.

  "Why, are there alligators in the water, so we can't swim?"

  "I see no allegations. But I think there is normally a bridge, that must have been removed before we arrived."

  "To make the river a challenge to cross," he said. "Well, it doesn't seem like much of one. If it is safe to swim, we can do that"

  “I am not sure we can. You see, this is my liability."

  He glanced at her. "If you have any liabilities, I sure can't see them."

  "I have princessly limitations."

  Oh, yes; there had been a mention of that "Like what?"

  "I may not show my human body to a man who is not my husband."

  "Oh, you can't go naked? Because you're a princess?"

  "Yes. An ordinary woman could do so if she chose, provided that the one who saw her was not underage. You are not quite underage, though there are those who would argue the case. But as a princess, I must set a perfect example of propriety. So human nudity is impossible for me in this instance, and allowing a man to see my, uh, undergarments would be worse."

  "Worse? You mean that bra and panties are worse than—"

  She blushed. "Please don't use such terms in mixed company. They are integral to the Adult Conspiracy."

  Dug sighed inwardly. He had sort of hoped to get a look at her body, coincidentally. Pretending not to notice. But the game makers had scotched that "What about using your snake form? That doesn't count as naked, does it?"

  "No. Serpents have no concerns about nudity. Neither my full serpent form not my natural naga form presents any problem. But if you wish me to accompany you in my human form, there is a difficulty."

  He did prefer her in human form. She might be the world's most beautiful serpent, but he was no judge of serpent beauty. He had more of a notion of human beauty, and she had that in overflowing measure. "Okay—suppose you cross in serpent form, and then change back to clothed human form when you're dry?"

  "I must resume human form in order to don my clothes. I can leave them behind when I change to serpent form, but I can not don them in serpent form."

  So she had to be a naked woman before she could be a clothed woman. It figured. "So I'll turn my back while you change. Will that do it?"

  "It may. But I fear trouble, and I must try to protect you from it."

  "You mean something will maybe attack us when my eyes are closed? But your eyes will be open, won't they? So we won't be unprotected."

  She looked doubtful, but nodded.

  "Then let's do it," he said briskly. "This hazard is a lot easier to handle than a dragon."

  She still looked dubious, but did not argue.

  "But it's okay for you to see me?" he asked. "No impropriety mere?"

  "If you do not object," she agreed.

  Actually he would not ordinarily care to have a woman see him naked. But this was different in several ways. First, it was only a game, so wasn't really happening. Second, if he couldn't see her body, maybe be could get a little bit of the feeling by letting her see his body. This gave him just a flicker of comprehension how a flasher might feel. Third, he wanted to show that nakedness was no big thing, in the faint hope that eventually she might agree.

  But mainly, he wanted to get across that river, and he didn't want to get his clothes or supplies wet. So he just had to do what had to be done.

  He went ahead and stripped, not letting himself think about it too much. It was a funny thing, disrobing in a game that seemed so real. But sort of exhilarating, too. It made him feel free, as if civilized hang-ups were being dumped along with the clothing. Could this be the way nudists felt? He was getting an education in feelings from me oddest situations!

  Naked, he didn't look at Nada. In fact, he didn't face her, either. He just jammed his things into the top of his knapsack and closed it tight. Then he waded into the water; holding the knapsack up. When he was deep enough to swim, he went into modified sidestroke, so he could keep the knapsack clear of the water. It was easy enough, and be hoped Nada was impressed.

  Soon he was across, as it really wasn't very far. He found his footing and walked on out He set down the knapsack and shook himself dry, still facing away from the princess. "Okay, you come on across," he said. "I won't took."

  “No, you must watch," she said. "Because there could be some other danger, such as a harpy, attacking while I am defenseless. I watched you, and you must watch me."

  "Okay," he said, surprised. He got into his underpants and turned. His body was not yet dry enough for the rest of his clothing.

  Nada was in her naga form: a serpent with her human head. Her clothing was neatly bundled. She must have done it while in her human form, then changed before he tured. But how was she going to carry her bundle?

  Then she assumed full serpent form. The snake's mouth opened wide and bit down on the bundle. The serpent slithered smoothly into the water. She was carrying her bundle as readily as he had carried his.

  But now he understood her point: if something attacked her right now, she would be unable to fight back, because her jaws were taken by the clothing. If she dropped the clothing to fight, then she would be unable to dress when she resumed human form later. It would be quite awkward. So he had to protect her, in this moment of her vulnerability. That made him feel obscurely good.

  Fortunately nothing attacked. The serpent completed the crossing, dropped the bundle, and became the naga. "Finish dressing," the human head said.

  Dug hastily did so. Then he turned to face away, so that Nada could change: first to human form, then to human clothing. He picked up the knapsack, to close it up again and put it on. Then he noticed the shiny buckle on it

  Shiny buckle. Reflective. If he held it up, just so, could he possibly manage to see—?
>
  He fought with himself. Could it be so bad to catch just a distorted glimpse, if she didn't know? How could a creature invented as a game character know or care? Especially when she thought the real crime was showing panties? It wasn't her panties he wanted to see!

  He lifted the knapsack, angling it so that the buckle turned. The reflection showed the tops of trees, then the river, then—

  Suddenly the screen was blank. Dug was back in his room, staring at a dead computer screen. A system malfunction? No way! He had done it! He had broken a rule, and the game had kicked him out Bleep!

  He looked around. Everything seemed so infernally mundane. Not like the pretty colors and magical contours of the game. He had never realized before exactly how dreary ordinary life was.

  Why had he done it? He had known he wasn't allowed to look at the body of the princess. He hadn't known that the game had this way of enforcing its rules, but mat didn't matter. The point was that he had tried to do wrong, and had been punished for it.

  "Oh, Nada Naga, I'm sorry," he breathed, experiencing cutting remorse.

  Then he seemed to hear something. He cupped an ear listening. He didn't hear anything, but taint words appeared in the screen: DUG! DUG! WHERE ARE YOU? It was Nada's speech! Very faint, but definite. The lock-out wasn't complete!

  “I’m out in Mundania!" he answered. Then, remembering, he typed it on the keyboard.

  There was a pause. Was he getting through? The screen remained dark, except for the faint glow where a speech balloon might be.

  DUG! IS THAT YOU? I CANT SEE YOU.

  “My screen went blank," he said as he typed it

  WHAT HAPPENED?

  There was no point in trying to conceal it "I tried to see you," he typed. "In the buckle on the knapsack. I'm really sorry, and I apologize. I deserved my punishment."

  The screen brightened. Now he could see Nada, clothed, standing beside the river. Near her was his fallen knap…

  She turned to face the screen. "But did you actually see me?" her speech balloon asked.

  “No. But it didn't matter. I tried, after I promised not to. I’m disgusted with myself."

  "If you didn't see me, then I have not been compromised," she said. "I can still be your Companion."

  "Except that I'm out of the game," he typed. "I'll have to start over." Somehow that seemed dreadful.

  "No! It is just a warning. You can return, to this scene, if you are careful."

  Dug was abruptly excited. "I can! Great! I'll be really careful!"

  He refocused his eyes, and in a moment the scene became three-dimensional. But the screen remained; he was seeing the scene, without being in it

  Nada peered through the screen at him. "What is the matter?"

  “I’m seeing it but I can't seem to get back into the scene," he said. "Maybe that's my remaining punishment”

  "No, your belief must have been damaged," she said. "Can you get it back?'

  How could he patch up a damaged belief? The game had punished him doubly: first by kicking him out, and second by reminding him that he was just a figure behind a screen, unable ever to be really part of the scene. He was never going to go against a game rule again! He had gotten into the scene the first time by suffering a realization that there was something of importance underneath the punny facade. He had come at it obliquely, not quite believing in magic, but believing in something. So what did he believe in this time?

  Dug closed his eyes, searching within himself. What was the nature of his belief?

  Suddenly he knew what it was: he believed in the game. Because it had had the power to boot him out when he tried to cheat. It was a real world, there beyond the screen. The computer was merely his limited access to it Maybe his being in the scene was an illusion, but it was a real scene he seemed to be in. He might have doubted before, but now he believed.

  "Oh, Dug—you're back!" Nada exclaimed, hugging him.

  Hugging him? He opened his eyes.

  Immediately she drew back. "Oh, I have done something unprincessly she cried, appalled.

  "I'll never tell," he said gallantly. But he would never forget, either; that was the best hug he had ever felt, and maybe the best he ever would feel.

  "Oh thank you! For a moment I feared I had disqualified myself."

  "No, I was the one who almost did that." Dug looked around. All of it was there. He was definitely back in the scene. He intended to do his utmost to remain in it Because, fantasy or reality, this was the greatest experience of his life.

  They were across the river, which had in its fashion proven to be a much greater challenge than it had seemed.

  Nada looked around. "I see a pie tree," she said. "I feel like doing something wicked, after that scare, such as eating something fattening."

  “I can hardly imagine you being fat," Dug said, trying not to look too closely at her body.

  "Well, it certainly wouldn't be princessly. But I don't splurge often." She walked to the tree and plucked a rich lemon meringue pie. "Would you like some, Dug?" she inquired prettily.

  Could he eat here? There was one way to find out. "Yes. Thank you."

  She drew a knife from somewhere in her clothing and cut across the pie. Dug was startled; there had seemed to be no place in her costume to conceal such a knife. But of course she was a magical creature; she might have a magic pocket The rules were different here, as he had just been so forcefully reminded.

  She handed him a slice of pie. He took it and tried a bite. It was delicious. It probably wouldn't have been, if he hadn't believed, but that was no problem now.

  "I should explain that Companions represent another kind of challenge," Nada said as they ate. "We may be approached, but only in appropriate manner."

  "Oh, I've learned my lesson!" he reassured her hastily.

  "Yes. You were penitent and you apologized. Therefore you were allowed to re-enter the game. You could not have hugged me, but I was able to hug you. Because you had moved me to do so, even if it was unprincessly."

  "It was one great hug."

  "Were I other than a princess, it would be easier for you to relate to me."

  Dug realized that she was telling him something significant Not outright, but obliquely. That if he wanted, for example, to kiss her, he might be able to do so, if he impressed her enough to make her kiss him. So the proscriptions weren't absolute; he just had to learn to play it right. It was good to know.

  They finished the pie in short order. Then they resumed their walk.

  After a time, a flying dragon spotted them. It veered toward them, blowing out anticipatory puffs of smoke.

  Dug drew his sword, but Nada stopped him. "A sword won't work against a firebreather," she pointed out "It would toast you before you could use your weapon.”

  Dug had to agree. "I guess we'd better hide behind a tree, then."

  "No, I will simply scare it away." Suddenly she was a small snake, slithering out of her fallen clothing.

  That was supposed to scare a dragon?

  But once she was free of the clothing, she changed into a large serpent In fact it was huge. Three times the size of the dragon. Then she lifted up her giant head, opened her enormous mouth to show a terrible array of fangs, and sent a ferocious hiss at the dragon.

  The dragon didn't argue. It made a U-turn in air and fled.

  The serpent slithered back to Nada's clothes. Dug didn't need to be asked; as he had said, he had learned his lesson. He also had a glimmer how she could stop him from kissing her: by biting his head off. He turned and put his face to the trunk of the nearest tree, and closed his eyes. He waited until Nada told him it was all right to look.

  When he did look, she was back in her normal, lovely human form. "You are impressive," he said. He was not referring to her human form.

  "Thank you." She knew what he meant.

  They resumed their trek. Dug was happy; not only had he returned to the game, he was now experiencing its full adventure. What more could he ask?


  The day was declining. "We shall have to make camp for the night soon," Nada said. "Because I am not competent to protect you well against the predators of the night"

  "Night? Already? It seems like only an hour!"

  She shook her head. "Perhaps time is different in Mundania. It may be that only an hour has passed there.

  But here much of a day has passed. I suppose if you prefer to leave the game, and return in the morning—"

  "Nuh-uh! I don't want to get out of the game at all, if I can help it. I might not manage to get back in."

  She considered that seriously. "I think you should be able to return, if you obey the rules and maintain your belief. Certainly you should be safer there."

  “But shouldn't I be exposed to the danger, instead of copping out? I mean, is that fair play?"

  "I don't know. I think that is your option. I understand that it is possible for a Player to depart, and to return to the game another day without any time having elapsed in the game. This is marvelous magic I do not understand, but surely convenient for you."

  Dug recognized her description of a saved game; of course it wouldn't change when not being played. "Well, I didn't think I would like this game, when I heard about it But I do. I want to play it right. That means day and night If I win, I win; if I lose, I lose."

  "You do not object to sharing a tent with me?"

  Dug managed to keep his face sober. "I do not object. I will keep my eyes away, if you just tell me when."

  She smiled, and he realized that he had scored another minor point. "Then we must seek a suitable campsite."