“You know Chase is down there too, right?” I muttered. “Though I guess you don’t give a shit about him anymore now he’s not your little bro.”
“Chase?” JJ breathed in horror as Fox stared at me like he was trying to work out if I was just messing with them.
“Me and him came here together.” I shrugged.
“You did?” Luther asked in surprise.
“Yeah, we had some common business to take care of that’s all.”
“Chase!” JJ bellowed in alarm as he put his back into the work. “Rogue!”
“Fuck.” Fox scraped a palm down his face, his terror clear as he continued digging and I clenched my jaw as I helped.
The dog yapped furiously and that was all the encouragement I needed to produce fuel for my muscles. I was either gonna find my girl somewhere here or we were digging our way into a food store which the dog wanted to raid.
I guessed I was going to find out soon enough, because I wasn’t going to stop until I reached the very bottom of the devastation and found my lost girl in its depths.
I coughed as the dust and darkness swirled around me, my mouth unbearably dry and making my tongue swell as every piece of my body ached from the position I was stuck in.
Trapped. Alone. Unable to move and pinned beneath tons and tons of rubble while the sounds of it groaning and shifting above me filled me with fear that it might all come crashing down again.
My breaths came faster, harsher and I started to cough more as the dust lodged in my lungs and panic tried to take hold of me. I was going to die down here alone. Stuck. After I'd sworn to myself I'd never let myself become trapped in any situation ever again, here I was, literally confined to a box smaller than a coffin with no way out.
"We're going out, sugarpie. Clean yourself up. I won't have my girl looking like some freshly fucked slut for all the world to see."
Shawn yanked his dick out of me with a smirk, slapping the side of my thigh as he enjoyed the view from his knees and tugged the condom off.
I just watched him, the fuzziness in my head closing in as I turned his words around in my brain and tried to feel something about them. I was a freshly fucked slut though, wasn't I? His freshly fucked slut. That was exactly how he liked me and yet he hated it too. It was kinda hard to win in that situation.
I rolled off the bed and headed into the bathroom, turning the water on in the shower and waiting for it to heat up as I looked at myself in the mirror. Steam began to cloud my reflection, so I reached out with my finger and painted an X over each of my eyes.
My mind trailed away for a moment as I considered running. I considered running a lot. But where would I run to? I couldn't take anything with me if I ran or Shawn would hunt me down and gut me for stealing from him. So I'd be penniless and friendless and I remembered what sleeping rough tasted like.
It was a constant state of fear, the desperate need to close your eyes and the worry of what might happen when I did. It was hunger and shivering and being even more alone than I was here. Because at least here I had Shawn. And for all his faults, he kept me safe, warm and fed. Out there was a jungle built of concrete and broken dreams where desperation made monsters out of everyone and fear was a way of life.
This was better than that. I had food and running water and a man who wanted me.
This was better than that. I reminded myself of that every time I considered running and I soon forgot the idea.
I stepped into the shower and sucked in a breath between my teeth as the water burned me, but I didn't make a move to turn the dial. I wanted to burn. I needed to feel it on the outside as well as the inside. And I needed to scrub my skin clean of who I was. Or who I wasn’t.
I picked up a loofa and did just that. I scrubbed and scrubbed as my skin burned and steam billowed all around the room, but I couldn't get clean. I'd never get clean.
I felt almost as hot as I had in that shower as beads of sweat trailed down my back and plastered my rainbow coloured hair to my neck.
Was the sun shining up there? Or was the sky as dark as it was down here? The lack of light was pressing in on my eyes so hard that I couldn't remember if they were open or closed anymore.
I was going to die down here.
All alone.
Poor little dead girl. I guessed fate had finally caught up to me at last.
I tried to bend my leg and reach for the straps on my stilettos for the millionth time, but my knee hit the door of the safe which had been pushed almost fully closed by the falling rubble and I couldn't raise my foot any higher.
I was all alone in the dark. Fuck, why was that so terrifying now when I'd been living that way for so long before this moment? Alone and forgotten were my standard settings. They had been for so long. But they weren't once.
"I saw her stealing from the cafe down in town," Rosie's nasally voice called to me and I rolled over in my stupid bunk bed and frowned as Mary Beth replied.
"When was this?" she demanded in a tone which told me I'd be punished if she found me.
"Earlier today," Rosie said and I slipped out of bed on silent feet, creeping to the door. I'd been about to go to sleep, but there was no fucking way I was hanging around here to get in trouble thanks to Rosie's big fat mouth. Gah, I hated that stupid twat. "I didn't want to have to tell you, but-"
I didn't have time to waste so I pulled a pair of shorts on, kicked on my combat boots, grabbed my battered skateboard and pocketed my cell, but the stupid thing had died on me and I hadn't gotten the chance to charge it yet. I only paused for two seconds to toss a glass of water onto the centre of Rosie's bed beneath her comforter. My other two roommates averted their eyes, knowing it was best to keep out of any drama around here and I was out the door and down the hall by the time Mary Beth's booming voice called for me to get my ass downstairs.
That would be a fuck no.
I shoved open the door to the boys' room and Clive cursed as he fought to cover up his pasty body with his hands. He had boxers on so I didn't know why the hell he even gave a shit, but I also had no time for that.
"Jellybeans?" I asked Jake, confirming the price this freedom would cost me as he shifted upright in his bed and shoved his window open for me.
"Always. And if you can grab me a can of Dr Pepper I'll even convince Rosie to tell Mary Beth she got confused and it wasn't you who stole anything after all."
"Fuck yes," I agreed, not wanting the details on how he’d manage that because I was pretty sure it had something to do with him making out with her and the idea of that was too gross for words. "But in the meantime, I'm getting the hell outa here." I hopped out of the window, ignoring Clive the clinger as he called out for me to wait while he got dressed so that he could tag along. I was gonna have to punch his stupid face again soon if he didn't stop with that shit. He kept lurking around outside the bathroom whenever any of the girls were showering too and I was getting seriously sick of his crap. We weren’t friends. Never had been, never would be.
I scrambled along the narrow sliver of roof outside the window then made my way to the ground, dropped my skateboard, and kicked off the asphalt at speed.
The sun was setting and I glanced up at the sky, kicking hard to move faster as I approached the house at the end of the street where Axel lived. The Harlequin gangbanger gave me the fucking creeps and I worked hard to avoid him whenever I could, but my heart sank as I spotted him out front by his car, a few other tatted up gangsters lurking around as they looked beneath the hood.
"Lookin' good, sweet thing," Axel hollered as I sped by and I called some vague greeting as a shudder slipped down my spine. That guy had ‘run away’ stamped all over him, but I also couldn’t just tell him to go get fucked like I wanted to thanks to his Harlequin status. So I maintained the smallest amount of politeness I could get away with around him and mostly just tried to avoid him whenever I could.
With my cell dead and the night closing in, I quickly turned left at the end of the street and decided that JJ was m
y best bet. His house was closest, and his mom was pretty sweet when she wasn't too busy entertaining clients.
I raced down the familiar streets to his house, but just as I arrived, a guy strode up to the front door, swaggering like he thought he was the man even though he clearly had to pay for pussy if he wanted any.
I hung back as I watched JJ's mom answer the door and let him in, then I hurried ‘round back and found a few pebbles to toss up at his window.
I had to throw eight of the fuckers before he finally appeared, looking bleary eyed in his boxers as he shoved the window open to look down at me.
"What are you doing here, pretty girl?" JJ called.
"Rosie sold me down the river, so I'm on the run. I'm here for a sleepover," I said with a grin.
JJ cleared his throat, looking over his shoulder for a moment and the sound of his mom's moans coloured the air, letting me know why he was hesitating.
"Come on, J. You know I don't give a fuck about some sex noises, and it's not like I can go to any of the others' places."
Harlequin House was always out of the question unless Luther happened to be away which was approximately never, so I couldn’t go to Fox and Maverick’s and Chase would have a heart attack if I got within ten miles of his dickhead dad.
"Oh, so that's why you picked me?" JJ asked, half teasing, half frowning.
"No. I picked you because you're my favourite."
JJ grinned at that then nodded and I tossed my skateboard up for him to catch before grabbing hold of the drainpipe and scrambling up to his window.
He caught my hand and helped heave me inside and I grinned as I looked around his room. It wasn't exactly spotless, but JJ liked to keep the place clean, so the mess was more of the comic books and stolen hair products variety than there being any dirty clothes tossed about the place.
"Oh, baby, use me like you own me!" JJ's mom screamed from the room next door as the mystery man grunted like a pig.
JJ winced but I didn't give a shit. People did all kinds of things to survive in Sunset Cove.
"I was listening to some music to drown it out," JJ said, pointing to his bed where a set of headphones were plugged into an old school ghetto blaster.
I grinned at him and kicked off my boots before jumping onto his bed and patting the mattress beside me invitingly.
JJ pulled on a pair of shorts then grabbed a chair and wedged it beneath the door handle before joining me. The single bed wasn't really big enough for two, so our shoulders were jammed together and I was half crushed against the wall, but I didn't mind.
JJ offered me an earbud and I put one in while he claimed the other, the sound of Love the Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna reaching me and mixing with his mom's continued screams of, "You're so big, tear me apart, big boy, rip me open."
"Wow, she makes sex sound painful," I joked and JJ snorted, though his cheeks were pinking.
"I think she's stroking his ego. She told me once that all men love hearing how big their dicks are, especially if they're actually not at all. So..."
"So. Fucking. Big," his mom moaned and I giggled.
"You think he's actually got a tiny pecker then?" I whispered.
"I generally try really hard not to think about that at all."
I laughed and rearranged myself so that I was lying on my side as I tried to get more comfortable.
"Okay, so why don't we play a game?" I suggested.
"Like what?"
"Let's think up all the best ways for me to get revenge on Rosie fucking Morgan."
"You could pour water on her bed and start up those rumours about her peeing herself again."
"Already did it." I grinned and wriggled some more, still not finding enough room to get comfy. "I was thinking I could add the juice from a can of tuna to her shampoo."
"Or put dog shit inside her shoes?" JJ suggested.
"Eww, where am I getting the dog shit from?"
"I could help you find some. But it's on you to pick it up."
I shoved him as I laughed and he cursed as he fell out of the bed. My laughter filled the air just as his mom yelled, "I'm gonna come so hard all over your monster cock, big boy. Make me moan for you! Take me to the moon!"
JJ cursed while I laughed louder and he grabbed me as he got back in the bed, wrapping his arm around me and tugging me close so that my head fell against his chest as he slapped a hand down over my mouth.
"If he hears you laughing, you'll put him off his game," he hissed, looking both amused and disgusted by those words. "Or worse, he'll come in here all pissed off, looking for someone to blame for his cock failure."
I peeled his fingers from my lips and sniggered. "Will you rescue me from the pencil dick, JJ?" I asked, wrapping my leg over his waist too as we finally settled down into a comfortable position.
"Yeah, pretty girl, I'll rescue you," he promised, slowly tucking a lock of my brunette hair behind my ear as the loud climactic sounds of his mom finishing her job rocked the damn wall. When it finally went silent, I sighed, my eyes closing as I listened to the solid thump of JJ’s heart beneath my ear. "I'll always rescue you, Rogue."
I swear his voice followed me out of my memories and into the dark and a sob escaped me as reality heaved me back into its embrace.
The pain and the dark all rushed in on me as I found myself still trapped in that fucking safe. Wondering if I was destined to die down here or if anyone might really want to rescue me for once. The sound of JJ saying my name still echoed in my ears, but it couldn't be real. It was just my imagination, making me hear what I was aching for.
"Rogue!"
I sucked in a breath that made me cough but I tilted my head back all the same, because as faint and distant as that had sounded, I could have sworn it was no figment of my imagination.
"JJ?" I yelled. But it wasn't really a yell, more a croak and a cough and a sob all mixed together.
But just as I was beginning to think I had imagined it, I swear I heard someone else calling my name too and my heart began to race with the thought of it.
Could it be real? Had they come for me?
A bark pierced the air, distant but oh so familiar and I sobbed again as I tried to yell once more, but I was coughing before I even began and my voice was betraying me.
My heart thundered with the thought of them moving away without ever even knowing I was here and I started scrambling around, thumping my fists against the metal sides of the safe before finding a lump of masonry that was wedged in the almost closed door.
I grabbed it and tugged, my fingernails cracking and splitting as my whole body screamed with pain, but I refused to give up.
I yanked even harder and suddenly the piece came free, a rough scream escaping me as the movement dislodged more of the rubble and everything groaned and shifted around me, smacking against the safe and making my skull rattle from the noise.
But I kept hold of the lump of rock and as soon as I was certain I wasn't going to be crushed in here, I started banging it against the wall of the safe.
The noise made my head pound and skull throb with pain, but I wouldn't stop. I struck the metal again and again and again.
I wasn't going to die down here without putting up one hell of a fight. And if the way my heart was racing was any indication, then I was starting to believe my saviour was coming for me like he'd always promised he would.
I may have told him I didn't want rescuing but right now, I needed a white knight or a dark saviour or even just a deal with a devil. Because I wasn't done with this life no matter how shitty it had been to me. And I was ready to emerge from the dark at last.
T he midday sun beat down on my back, baking me through until all I could feel was blinding heat, the pain in my hands and ache in my spine. I worked tirelessly with Fox, Maverick and Luther, all of us falling into this desperate, endless rhythm as we just dug through the rubble in silence. But the silence wasn’t in my head. In my mind, there was a roar of noise, of fears, regrets and panic.
I should have gotten to her sooner.
I should have held onto her tighter.
We never should have come here at all.
A paramedic appeared, offering out water and checking to see if anyone needed help. Fox’s right hand was fucked up, the strip of his shirt he’d wrapped around it bloody and caked in dust, but I knew he wouldn’t let anyone tend to it until Rogue was back in his arms.
I’m so sorry pretty girl. I won’t abandon you again. I’m coming. Just hang on, please hang on.
Luther thrust a bottle of water into each of our hands when none of us paid any attention to the paramedic’s offerings. Mutt yipped and after I guzzled down half the bottle, I moved over to him and held it to his mouth.
He lapped at the water thirstily and I gave him as much as he wanted before pouring the rest over his back to keep him cool.
Fox’s face was fixed in a mask of determination as I re-joined his side and kept digging. I could see the war in his eyes which he was fighting to win, because if he gave in to the fog of panic that hung around us, he’d lose it. I was battling that same war and all I could do was focus on one brick at a time as we clawed our way deeper into the devastation.
A team of Harlequins worked around us, clearing the rubble we shifted aside so it never piled up too high and I’d never been so glad to have the Crew at my back.
I thought of Chase down in the shattered building too, my friend, my fucking brother. He had no one in this world but us and I hated thinking of him dying alone, made an outcast from his family, believing none of us loved him anymore. But I did. What he’d done was terrible, but I knew where it came from with him. I knew he was just trying to hold on to the one thing life had gifted him. And that was us. Me and Fox. But he’d gone and shot himself in the foot, lost us in his stupid attempt to keep us. Now none of that mattered to me. I just needed to get him out, needed to see he was okay.
The panic was welling and I started to lose my grip as it reared up and surrounded me.
Rogue…Chase. Oh god.
Please be alive, please.
Carnival Hill (The Harlequin Crew Book 3) Page 2