“Will you give that to Rogue for me?” he asked, his brows knitting like he was worried I’d refuse but I nodded. “And will you…promise not to read it?”
I sighed, shifting my weight from one foot to the other before I nodded in agreement to that too.
“And one more thing.” He stepped toward me, anxiety warring in his bright blue gaze and all I wanted to do was drag him into my arms and take him home. But I couldn’t, because this was who I was, and this was what happened to traitors. I’d told everyone from day one, the second that cast came off this was how it would be, but fuck did it hurt. Every second I stood there was killing more pieces of me.
“Don’t remember me like this,” he begged. “Remember us as kids. Remember the days we went swimming at the cove and exploring the smugglers’ caves. Okay?”
“Okay,” I gritted out and he turned to leave, but I couldn’t let him. Not yet.
I strode forward, wrapping him in my arms, my hand crushed to the back of his neck and his forehead pressed to mine.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“No, I’m sorry, Fox,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I nodded, knowing he was but also knowing it was too late to change anything.
“Love her right,” he said in a firm growl, ordering me to obey. “You love her and you give her the best of this world no matter what it costs you, you hear me?”
“I will,” I croaked.
“You can have it all now, all of you. Just…make sure you stay together, no matter what happens. You, JJ and her. And fuck it, Maverick too if you can.”
“We’ll stay together,” I promised, though I wasn’t really including Maverick in that. My brother was never going to come home.
“Swear it. No matter what, Fox,” he pushed.
“No matter what,” I agreed and he stepped back, letting me go, letting all of us go. I could see he thought this was the right thing as deeply as I did, but why did it hurt so fucking much?
My heart begged me to take him with me, but my brain cried out for me to follow through on my decisions like I always did. This was above even me. This was Harlequin law, and I’d already bent the rules, spared his life, then let him come home when I shouldn’t have. And now it was time to follow through on my promises, but I wasn’t sure there had ever been one more painful than this.
I pressed my lips to his forehead and let him go, turning away and getting in the truck, not looking back as I started it up and drove away. My black soul got a little blacker and the Devil got his claws in me a little deeper. I was the night in this town, the assured darkness that always claimed the day. And no matter how hard you might wish for the sun to keep shining, the night always had to fall. But this was the darkest one I’d ever known.
T he carnival was a riot of bright colours, laughing children and all the best memories from my time here growing up.
I grinned up at JJ around my stick of bright pink cotton candy, watching him as he took pot shots at little red targets, trying to win me a big ass rainbow coloured dolphin teddy which was hanging behind the stall.
The vendor didn't look best pleased to have someone with JJ's skill playing his little game and even with the no doubt dodgy aim on the thing, Johnny James was killing it.
There were ten Harlequin goons lurking around us not so subtly on Fox's command and I was reduced to eye fucking JJ in his loose tank and shorts combo. He still wore my Green Power Ranger cap backwards on his head, knowing full well what he was doing to me by looking that fucking good and combining my GPR love with it.
I slipped closer to him as the targets started whirring faster, tiptoeing up to murmur in his ear while the hiss and bang of the air rifle hid my words from our entourage.
"If you win me that dolphin, I'll suck your dick so good you'll be seeing rainbows of your own."
JJ's grin widened, the gun shifting between targets faster and faster as he knocked them all down one after another and the vendor grumbled curses at him beneath his breath.
When the final target was slammed back on its hinges and every one of them was down, JJ whooped excitedly, tossing the rifle onto the stall and snatching me off of my feet as he whirled me around in triumph.
I laughed as I almost lost hold of my cotton candy and he set me back down on my feet, leaning in for a moment like he was planning on kissing me before catching himself and turning away to claim the prize.
I bit my lip in frustration, wondering when we were going to be able to just be open about what we were to each other. But with so much going on all the time between Shawn, Luther and Chase's recovery, Fox was so freaking stressed out that there was just never a good moment to catch him and lay things out.
I did have a vague plan where I was hoping to ease him into the idea by exposing him to me and Maverick more often. Rick gave exactly zero shits about incurring the wrath of Fox and was more than happy to stake his claim on me at all times. The problem was that Fox had made it clear that he fucking hated that as well as believing it was a purely sexual thing, so it wasn't like he was coming around to anything. But I guessed Rick was still breathing, so it was a start.
Of course, JJ had a whole lot more to lose if Fox turned on him than Maverick did, not to mention the fact that he didn't want to hurt him anymore than I did.
Basically, it was all still fucked, but I was also past the point of trying to un-fuck it. I was taking my shit with each of my boys as its own problem and when it came down to it, me and Johnny James were good. More than good. He made me laugh and smile and come so hard I couldn't breathe. What more could a girl ask for than that?
JJ presented me with the stuffed dolphin, smirking widely as he leaned in to speak with me. "I'll be taking you up on that offer before the end of the day, pretty girl," he promised in a low voice and I licked my lips enticingly as I smiled prettily for him.
"What did I miss?" Fox called loudly, making my heart lurch as JJ stepped back suddenly and we found him striding towards us.
"JJ just won this for me," I brandished my dolphin at him with a grin. "Which officially makes him my favourite again."
"Well we can't have that." Fox slung his arm around my shoulders and turned me towards the Ferris wheel in the centre of the fair, shifting me away from JJ as we started walking.
"Did you do everything you needed to get done then?" I asked him, glancing up as a pained look flashed across his face but he quickly hid it by dropping his aviators down to shade his green eyes.
"Yeah...everything is dealt with now,” Fox said easily.
"Did Luther make you do something you're unhappy about?" I asked him, picking up on the dark undertone to his words despite him trying to hide it.
"It wasn't Luther." Fox sighed, glancing away from me before looking back again and knocking his forehead against mine. "Let's just have fun today, yeah? All of our issues can catch up to us tonight, but I just really wanna enjoy this moment."
"I need to talk to you about Chase," I said in a firm tone and he nodded, glancing off again.
"Yeah. We will. Later."
I rolled my eyes at him but agreed, taking the last bite of my cotton candy and tossing the stick in a trashcan as we passed it. The sun was shining and we'd been dealing with a lot of shit recently so I could give him that. Today would be dedicated to fun. No heavy stuff.
We made it to the line for the Ferris wheel, but Fox just walked on past it, shoving a couple of twenties into the hands of the guy running it so he'd let us cut in.
"Hold this while we're gone, yeah J?" Fox asked, taking the dolphin from me and tossing it to JJ. "And maybe do a quick sweep of the area to make sure there's no sign of any Dead Dogs around here too. This is exactly the kind of place fucking Shawn would try to come at us.”
"You're gonna make JJ walk the perimeter while we go on a ride without him?" I asked in surprise, shooting a look at my seriously hot stripper as he pushed his tongue into his cheek and waited for Fox's reply on that too.
/> "Well you wouldn't wanna be a third wheel, would you JJ?" Fox tossed at him, guiding me towards the ride as he grasped my shoulders tighter and I had no choice but to clamber in as JJ gave him a sarcastic salute and stormed off to do as he'd been told.
"That was rude," I grumbled as Fox dropped into the seat beside me, making the carriage bounce as the attendant locked the door and the ride began to turn.
"JJ doesn't give a shit," Fox said roughly, throwing his arm around the back of my seat and angling himself to look at me instead of the view out over the Cove as the ride lifted us high up into the air. "Besides, I've been thinking a lot recently about the future and what it looks like to me. I've been thinking a lot about the discussions we've had about it too."
"I told you I'm not ready to settle down, Fox," I warned, reading the implications between his words as he eyed me from beneath those mirrored shades.
"Yeah, well I've been thinking on that too. And I warned you my patience would wear thin one of these days. I told you there would come a point when I'd get done with waiting for you and I'd force your hand in the matter."
“What’s that supposed to-”
Fox grabbed my waist and propelled me up onto his lap, making the carriage bounce wildly as I gripped his shoulders tightly and stole a look at the terrifying drop below us. I was wearing a wrap around maxi skirt but the position he'd put me in meant the split in the fabric was baring my thighs to him alongside my white panties.
The ride stopped with us at the very top of it while people got on and off down below and my heart thundered as Fox eyed me, his tongue wetting his lips and his jaw set with this decision.
"Fox," I warned, but he hadn't been joking about being done waiting and he caught the back of my neck, yanking me down into a hard kiss which I was helpless to resist.
His hand moved between us as his tongue pushed into my mouth and I groaned as he found my clit through my panties, massaging it roughly and making my hips buck.
I tried to push back against his shoulders, but he increased the pressure of his hold on the back of my neck, kissing me harder, demanding I bow for him and as my pussy throbbed with need, I felt myself giving in.
I wanted this. I wanted him. I just couldn't have him unless he understood what I had with the others too. I knew what this was for him. His move. The moment he stopped waiting and took what he wanted, and it was so fucking tempting to just let him. Except Fox wasn't like the others. He didn't know how to share his toys and I knew full well that hadn't changed despite him witnessing what I had with Maverick more than once.
"Wait," I panted, trying to pull back, but he just growled at me, his fingers shoving my panties aside before he sank two of them deep into my wet heat.
"You're mine," Fox said fiercely, his thumb still working my clit as my pussy gripped his fingers like a vice and I could only gasp his name as my body gave him what he wanted without question. "And when we get home tonight, it'll be my dick inside you proving that."
I moaned loudly, unable to help it as I rocked my hips against him, fucking his hand and finally getting a taste of what I’d been hungering for from him. His fingers thrust in and out of me and I forgot all of my arguments as he kissed me again, my pussy pulsing around him as I climbed up to the edge of the cliff, ready to dive right off of it for him-
The ride started moving again and Fox yanked his hand back out from beneath my skirt, his teeth taking my bottom lip hostage before he broke our kiss too and dumped me back in the seat beside him.
"You're not going to come for me until you beg for it, hummingbird," he murmured, leaning down to speak in my ear as I blinked at him in shock, my sex scrambled brain trying to figure out what the fuck he was playing at. "I'll take you to the edge like that over and over and over until you break for me. Until you beg for me. And until you tell me that you’re mine. Only mine."
Heat rushed to my face as I realised what game he was playing with me and I slapped him hard enough to leave a print on his cheek, cursing him out as I moved to place a hand between my own thighs and finish what he'd started. I'd been right fucking there, so it wasn't like it would take much anyway.
Fox growled a refusal, snatching my hand into his and smirking at me darkly. "No cheating either, baby. It's time for you to accept that I’m your end game."
"You're a fucking psychopath," I hissed at him, half furious and half tempted to drag him behind the nearest tree when we got off this fucking ride so that he could finish what he'd just started. God he looked good today, his inked arms bulging and his broad chest pressing against the confines of his shirt. It wasn’t fucking fair.
"I'm done playing nice," he replied with a shrug. "We've been living in limbo since you came home and it's time for that to end. You know as well as I do that we're destined, hummingbird. And now it’s time for you to stop fighting it."
The ride came to a halt and Fox got out, tugging me beneath his arm as we joined JJ again and my over sexed brain drank in the sight of him too. Jesus I really had fallen deep into the dicksand with the Harlequin boys, but it was far too late for me to consider escaping it now. Nope. I was going to die here in cockland where they served orgasms for breakfast and my smiles always came with a side of toe curling moans.
"Anything?" Fox asked and JJ shook his head, eyeing the handprint on Fox's face curiously, but he didn’t ask about it.
"No sign of Shawn or any of his men,” JJ confirmed, my dolphin hanging loosely in his grip.
I wanted to say something to him, but my flesh was still tingling and I was having a little trouble stopping my knees from buckling right now, so I just bit my lip and eye fucked him instead.
"Good. Let's go check out the hall of mirrors." Fox tugged me along with him and despite my anger at him over that little game, I went.
JJ trailed behind us amongst the Harlequin stooges and I frowned, asking Fox why he wasn't hanging out with us too. Fox didn't give me an answer, but the look he shot JJ made me think he'd been the one to arrange us this way. Like I was here with him alone and J was just a part of the backup in case of trouble. What the fuck was that about?
"You know, you're being an ass and it's killing my carnival vibe," I warned as we passed a doughnut stand and I inhaled the scent of doughy goodness with a groan.
"That's because you're still trying to fight us," Fox said, pausing to buy me a rose from a vendor as we passed him, and I just kind of gaped at him as he tucked it behind my ear.
"So are you a gentleman taking me on a sweet date to the fair or an asshole who edges me in public and leaves me all hot and dick blinded while I'm trying to enjoy a day out?" I asked him icily, earning myself a smirk.
"Both, baby. And don't forget, if you want to finish, I can take care of that for my girl. You've only gotta agree that you're mine." Fox trailed a hand down the side of my cheek and my traitorous skin lit up for him.
I huffed out a breath which wasn't any kind of answer and Fox just shrugged, tugging me into the hall of mirrors with him and leaving JJ out again.
"This place is creepy," I commented as we started moving down the narrow aisles, reaching out to brush my fingers along the cool glass as my reflection echoed on eternally all around me.
"That's a matter of perspective," Fox commented, moving to stand against my back as I accidentally walked down a dead end and found myself caught between three mirrors. "For example, if I were to fuck you right here against this glass, I think it would be pretty hot to watch your body bending to mine a thousand times over all around us."
I bit my lip as I felt the press of his dick against my ass and turned to face him, sliding my hand over the front of his shorts, intending to turn his little edging game right back on him, but he caught my wrist before I could make contact with his cock.
"That's not how this is going to work, hummingbird," he growled, pressing my hand against the mirror at my back as he boxed me in. "I'm not letting you call the shots anymore. Today everything needs to change. It's past time. And that means you'
re gonna learn how good it feels to bend for me, because I promise that once you do, everything will come together the way it was always meant to."
He ran his free hand over my rock hard nipple, drawing a hiss from my lips as my eyes fell closed and every muscle in my body clenched. I was a strong, independent woman who knew her own mind. But damn, I couldn't deny how good it felt to be dominated by him.
My thoughts scattered as he tugged my crop top down and a throaty moan escaped me as he sucked on my nipple, but just as I was starting to think he was going to finish what he'd started on the Ferris wheel, he released me and backed away.
"Fox," I snarled. "Stop fucking with me."
"Then tell me you're mine."
"It's not that simple," I snapped.
"Yeah it is."
He turned and walked away into the hall of mirrors, leaving me to yank my top back up to hide my nipple before some unsuspecting kid arrived and got an eyeful.
By the time I hurried after him, he was gone and I cursed as I moved back and forth through the maze of mirrors, coming up on dead ends over and over again while the creepy feeling of the place sank into my skin.
For a moment I could have sworn I heard someone calling my name, but when I turned there was no one there aside from the countless reflections of myself.
Fuck, I was so freaking turned on that I couldn't even find my way out of a stupid carnival attraction designed for kids.
I took several more turns, a chill creeping up my spine and when I finally spilled out into the sunshine, a muscular figure was waiting to grab me.
I shrieked in alarm as Fox pushed me up against the side of the attraction and kissed me like he owned me. And despite all of my arguments to the contrary, I gave in, my lips parting for his tongue, hands fisting in his shirt and thighs parting for his leg as he drove it between them.
My hips rocked against him as I groaned into his mouth and I chased some fucking friction to deal with this need in my flesh.
Fox's phone started ringing in his pocket and he dropped me like a sack of shit, backing away as I sagged against the fucking wall and glared at him.
Carnival Hill (The Harlequin Crew Book 3) Page 43