The Shacking Up Series

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The Shacking Up Series Page 33

by Helena Hunting


  She tried to set my brother Bancroft up with Brittany last year, unsuccessfully. Since Bancroft is out of the question and my older brother, Griffin, is in a committed relationship, I’m the last resort. I can’t seem to say no to my mother, I never have, so here I am, hiding out in a bathroom drinking flat champagne straight from the bottle so I can get a break from my date and avoid the speeches.

  All night Brittany has been telling me about her love of lollipops. We’re not talking about the candy on a stick, either. I’m not interested in finding out about her sucking skills, even if it means I’d get a break from the incessant talking. I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I wonder if I can just leave Brittany here. Slip out the back door, and send an apology text feigning sickness.

  I finish my business, tuck myself back into my boxers, zip my pants, but can’t seem to find the energy, or dexterity, to buckle my belt back up. Besides, I don’t plan to return to the reception right away. Speeches are about to begin and I have zero desire to listen to Armstrong spout his bullshit about how Amalie is his future. About how he loves her more than anything in the world. How he’s devoted to her. The only thing Armstrong is devoted to is his reflection. And making my life miserable when he sees an opportunity.

  There’s a TV and a couch in here, so I’m going put my feet up, finish this bottle of champagne, and watch some sports. Or news. Depending on which is less depressing. I grab the bottle and take another swig just as a loud crash comes from somewhere beyond the bathroom. This time I miss my mouth and it spills down my chin, onto my shirt, all the way to my crotch. I spit out an expletive and attempt to mop up the mess with a hand towel, but it’s already soaked in. Whatever. I’ll just stay here until it dries.

  I open the bathroom door and freeze. Standing in the middle of the room is Amalie. The bride. The princess of this event. And she’s hacking apart her dress with a pair of gardening shears. For a few moments I wonder if I’ve been drugged and I’m hallucinating this, much like I thought she was a mirage the first time I met her, but I don’t feel drugged, just on the right side of extra drunk.

  I consider my options, which seem rather limited. I shouldn’t be in here, and yet I am. She shouldn’t be in here, and yet, she is. By the look of things, she’s not planning on going back out there fully clothed. Which begs the question, What the fuck happened?

  She’s swearing a blue streak. Dirty, filthy words pouring out of her sweet mouth as she cuts savagely through the bodice. It’s as ridiculously hot as it is disturbing. It takes quite a bit of work to get through all the fabric at the waist and she still hasn’t noticed my presence.

  Instead of doing the considerate thing, which would be to go back in the bathroom, or find an alternate exit, or make her aware of my presence, I continue to stare. Amalie, who is generally very poised and elegant, gentle and polite, is gloriously angry.

  “Fucking whore! Fucking asshole! Motherfucking cocksucking dickless bastard!” She grabs the fabric at her waist and yanks in opposite directions. It’s impressive the way the material pulls apart from her aggression.

  She shoves the dress down over her hips, revealing a tanned, toned, stunningly gorgeous body wrapped in a white lace and satin corset with matching panties and garters. All things I have no right to be looking at right now. I take a step back, thinking it might be a good time to leave, and the champagne bottle knocks against the doorjamb.

  Her head snaps up, fiery gaze meeting mine from across the room. She points the shears at me. “How’d you get in here?”

  I don’t see the point in lying. “I jimmied the lock. It wasn’t very hard.”

  She frowns, her confusion understandable. “Why are you in here?”

  “I was trying to catch a break from my date.” I also didn’t want to watch my cousin gloat over winning again. He got the girl. He got this girl. He’s such an asswipe. Although maybe this time he saved me from a real nightmare. It would serve him right to end up with a loony toon and, from the look in her eyes, she just might be one.

  Amalie steps out of the dress, leaving it in a massacred puddle as she struts across the room, those shears swinging dangerously in her hand, along with her hips. As horror-movie scary as she may be, she’s also inordinately sexy in all the white lace and garters—which I’m struggling not to appreciate in an inappropriate way, because based on the dress hacking, I don’t think now is the right time for ogling.

  She stops when she’s only inches away. Tilting her head back so she can look at my face, she pokes me in the chest, with her finger, not the shears, thankfully. “Why is your belt undone? Who else is in here with you?”

  I raise my hands in surrender, champagne bottle and all. “No one. I’m alone. I just used the bathroom and that was it.” I don’t want her to think I’m in here having sex. I’m not even sure I have the coordination for that right now. I glance down and blink a couple of times as I get caught in her cleavage. Shaking my head, I try to stay focused on whatever the fuck is going on here. Maybe I hit my head and I’m passed out and none of this is happening.

  “You brought Brittany Whore-ton as your date, didn’t you?” It’s more accusation than question.

  I’m also not sure if I heard that incorrectly or not. It’s difficult to concentrate on her words being as drunk as I am with her standing half-naked in front of me wielding a pair of garden shears.

  I gesture to her weapon. “D’ya think you could put those down?”

  She glances at the shears, then raises them so they’re only an inch or two from my neck, which is even more unsettling. “Answer the damn question! Did you bring Brittany Whore-ton to my fucking wedding?”

  “You mean Thorton? Not because I wanted to, but yeah. Now can you put the shears down, please? You’re kinda freaking me with this whole cutting-apart-your-dress, waving-around-a-weapon thing.” I’m not sure I can grab them from her without either of us getting hurt.

  “I’m freaking you out? I’m freaking you out? Do you even know what happened? Do you have any idea the humiliation I just sustained out there?” And there she goes again, waving around the shears.

  I make a grab for them, but she’s a wily one. She spins out of reach and points them at me again. “Don’t you do that!” She swipes her bangs aggressively out of her eyes. The pins in her blond hair are coming loose, tendrils falling around her face, and her cheeks are pink, her eyes on fire. She’s the hottest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on, both fully clothed and in lingerie. Fuck Armstrong and his slimy asshole ways.

  It’s time for the calm voice, the one I usually reserve for my mother when she’s upset with me over a stunt I’ve pulled. I still have to use it on occasion, which I realize is sad, since I’m pushing thirty. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re so upset about, Amalie?”

  “What I’m so upset about? Your date just blew my husband!”

  “What?” My alcohol-soaked brain is slow to process that information. I know Brittany gets around and Armstrong has questionable morals, but that’s low, even for him. I think.

  “Your date just sucked off my husband. And the whole sordid ordeal was broadcast over the goddamn motherfucking sound system. You had to have heard it. Everybody did. The entire room full of guests listened to my dickless fuckbag husband come in a mouth that wasn’t mine.”

  Well, that was graphic. I almost feel like I should offer to wash her mouth out with soap after that string of creative, vulgar profanity. But then the reality of her statement hits. “You’re shitting me, right? Is this some kind of fucked-up prank?”

  “Do I look like I’m joking?” She gestures behind her at the hacked-up gown, then to herself; mostly undressed, hair a wreck, eyes suddenly glassy with what is most likely the threat of tears. No wonder she’s acting like she’s lost her mind. Armstrong has always had asshole tendencies, but this is just too much.

  “That motherfucker. Where is he?”

  “Probably getting his ass kicked by Bane and my brothers.”

  “I�
�m gonna make that shithead eat his goddamn dick.”

  I move to step around her, but she drops the shears and grabs me by the tie, eyes lighting up while an evil grin spreads across those perfect lips. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  Taken off-guard, I don’t expect it when she pulls some jujitsu ninja move, kicking my feet out from under me. I smack my head on the floor as I land on my back and lose my hold on the champagne bottle. The pain in my head is as disorienting as the ninja moves, so the next thing I know Amalie’s straddling my hips.

  It’s impossible for my body not to react in ways it really shouldn’t. Amalie’s feminine curves are drool-worthy, and right now that perfect ass of hers is positioned right on top of my cock—my suddenly very achy, aware cock. She shifts back, breaking the cock-ass connection, which is probably a good thing, considering what she’s just told me. I can’t believe the one woman I’ve wanted for the past year but couldn’t have is half-naked on top of me. She’s also just married my cheating dickhead of a cousin. It’s like fate can’t get enough of kicking me in the balls.

  When her hands go to the zipper on my pants I’m forced into action. Instinctually, I want to do the exact opposite of what I should. I mean goddamn, she’s trying to get her hand in my pants and I’m compelled to stop her. It’s a damn tragedy happening here.

  She slaps my hand away and grabs my tie again. Fisting it close to my throat she leans in, eyes wild, angry and desperate. A sneer pulls up the corner of her pretty mouth. “You’re going to let me fuck you and you’re going to like it.”

  I’m so goddamn hard right now and those words only serve to make it worse, or better, depending on how one looks at it. And yes, I fully agree with that statement: If she fucked me right now I am positive I would like it, a lot. Maybe more than any other sex I’ve had with any other woman because she is the ultimate in forbidden temptations. But it’s a really bad idea. And I’m pretty sure she’ll regret it two minutes after it’s over. Or maybe even while it’s happening.

  Despite knowing this, despite being aware that I must stop her, I hesitate. It makes me a very bad person for those suspended seconds.

  In that brief time I consider a number of things, such as how this is a messed-up situation. One where I recognize that having sex with my cousin’s brand-new, jilted wife is a colossally bad plan. Because it is. Even if he doesn’t deserve her and never did.

  But, for a protracted moment I consider how this would be the most epic fuck-you to Armstrong, ever. And if anyone deserves it, he does. I shake that asshole thought, because as fun as it would be, I’m not like him. I’d never use someone, especially a woman already on the receiving end of his bullshit, as part of a game.

  As this blows through my brain, Amalie grasps my chin, fingernails biting into the skin, and her mouth descends on mine. Her lips are soft, warm, but her mouth is hard, aggressive. Jesus. It appears she’s actually serious about fucking me. She does this thing with her tongue that makes my cock kick . . . and then her free hand edges between our bodies again, gliding down until she’s palming my desperately excited erection through my pants.

  That’s when I take action to stop this madness. Clamping an arm around her waist I flip her onto her back. The floor is hardwood and slippery, making it difficult to find any traction.

  I fight to get her hand away from my cock, which works, but then she hooks her legs around my waist.

  “Amalie, stop!” I groan around her tongue. It’s not the most convincing of attempts. It’s actually pretty poor. She’s like a koala, with the way she’s wrapped around me. Flipping her over may have made it worse.

  “You don’t want me to stop. I can feel how much you want to fuck me.” She rolls her hips, as if to prove her point.

  She’s right. But if I do this I’m just as bad as Armstrong. I might want her, but I don’t want to hurt her in a bid for the revenge he seems to seek on me endlessly.

  I push up with the intention of righting myself, turning my head when she goes for my mouth again. She latches onto my neck instead, bites me, and sucks. That’s definitely going to leave a mark. Probably a big one.

  She scrambles to maintain her hold, legs tightening on my waist. She could crack nuts with her inner thighs. “Goddammit! You have to! You want to! Why won’t you just take me?” Her rage melts in to a broken sob. “Please, Lexington. I hate him. I don’t understand. Make it stop.”

  And that’s the moment the door slams open.

  Three: OMG

  Amie

  “Holy mother of what the fuckicles! Bane, do not let anyone in here,” Ruby pushes him back through the door, then slams it shut, throwing the lock. Her eyes are saucers. It’s understandable.

  I’m still wrapped around Lexington. Still trying to get him to have sex with me, and he’s desperately trying not to. And now I’m crying. Sobbing actually. I’m positive I’m having some kind of mental breakdown. On my best friend’s boyfriend’s brother of all people. And I thought Armstrong getting a blow job from not-me was as bad as it could get. Obviously I was wrong.

  Ruby stalks across the room, hissing in an angry whisper. “What in the ever-loving hell are you doing, Lex!” She punches him in the back and shoulder, aiming for places where my body parts are not latched onto him.

  “It’s not how it looks.” He scrambles to get up, but I’m still clinging like plastic wrap. I can feel his hard-on—thick and ready against me. It’s clear he likes what he sees, if he’d just given me what I wanted then maybe I wouldn’t feel so empty of everything.

  Even as I think it I know it doesn’t make any sense. That my actions come from a place of devastation and desperation. I’m so angry and hurt. I feel broken and lost, stupid and embarrassed. There isn’t any one emotion I can hold on to that fits right now.

  “Amie, you need to let go of Lex,” Ruby says softly. As if she’s talking to someone teetering on the edge of reason. Which is about right.

  I shake my head even though I know I should do what she says. I’m just humiliating myself even more right now, but letting go means seeing his reaction to my loss of sanity and I’m not ready for that yet. Lexington shifts until he’s on his knees. He’s stopped trying to pry me off. In all honesty, he might need a crowbar. If I hold on to him long enough maybe he’ll just absorb me and I’ll disappear. Yet another strange and implausible thought, proving all rationality has completely evaporated. They’re whispering back and forth, the words not really registering through the haze of pain and anger that’s consuming me.

  “Oh my God. Amie, honey, what happened to your dress?” Ruby asks.

  “She cut herself out of it.” One hand leaves my body for a second, so I assume he’s gesturing to the pile of satin, lace, and beads I left behind in my transformation from bride to mostly naked crazy person.

  There’s a deep inhale followed by a beat of silence, during which Lex’s palm moves up and down my back. It feels nice. Calming. I want it to go on forever and ever. I want him to reach inside my heart and have the same effect on the ache in there.

  “Right. Wow. I’m not sure how I missed that. Okay. I guess a robe will have to do for now. She can change on the way home.”

  Soft fabric is draped over my shoulders and I shudder at the sensation.

  “Shhhh, it’s okay. It’ll be okay,” Lex murmurs as he pushes to his feet.

  When I bury my face in his neck he cups my cheek, brushing away the tears with his thumb, which makes me cry even harder. Why does he have to be so tender? And sweet. I don’t want tender and sweet. I want revenge. I want what Armstrong did to me to be erased. I want Lex to forget everything I’ve just said and done and pretend it never happened and I want to be able do the same.

  It’s loud on the other side of the door, banging and yelling muffled by the thin wooden barrier. I can hear Armstrong calling my name and what sounds like my father shouting. I just want all of it to stop. I don’t know how to manage any of this.

  “We have to get her out of here. Armstrong is go
ing batshit and so is everyone else. I think Bane wants to beat the crap out of him, if he hasn’t already, and Armstrong’s mother is having a complete breakdown. Amie can’t and shouldn’t have to deal with this right now.” Ruby’s hand is on my shoulder, gentle, as if I might shatter. I feel like I could.

  “How’re we going to make that happen when they’re all outside the door?” Lex shifts his hold and grips my thigh. Not that it’s necessary, my legs are like a vice around him, thanks to my endless hours of Pilates in preparation for this farce of a wedding.

  I try to tell them that I’m right here and they can talk directly to me, but all that comes out is a craggy sob. I get some more shushing from Lex and a few strokes over my hair.

  “There’s a car waiting at the back entrance.”

  “We’re getting you out of here,” Lex whispers in my hair.

  I’m shocked by frigid air as Lex steps out into the winter night. Loud pounding along with Armstrong begging me to let him in is cut off by the slam of the door Lex just carried me through.

  Moments later my butt hits cool leather and Lex’s voice is in my ear, deep, mollifying. “Come on, sweetheart, you gotta let go now.”

  He’s right, but I’m so embarrassed. Not only has my husband humiliated me in front of everyone we know, and about three hundred people I don’t, I’ve thrown myself at Lex and he turned me down, and now I’ve cried all over him. This is the worst night of my entire life. Even the interrogation room in Mexico has nothing on this.

  He strokes my hair again, then gently unhooks my legs from his waist. “It’s okay, baby, I get it. I know I’m irresistible.” My laugh comes out a sob. His lips touch my cheek. “No was the very last thing I wanted to say to you.”

  I shiver at the admission, and wonder how much of it is meant to mend my battered ego and broken heart. I have no idea how I’m going to recover from this.

  It takes effort to pry my own fingers from his neck. I can’t look at him, my mortification over my own actions finally sinking in. What the hell is wrong with me?

 

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