It’s been more than a month since I’ve seen Amie. Not that I’m keeping track. I’m not obsessed. I’m not fixated. I don’t stroke myself to the pictures I took of her sunbathing in Bora Bora. Because that would be wrong. And a little desperate.
I run my fingers across my ties, trying to decide which one I want to wear tonight. We’re having a dinner party to celebrate Bancroft’s engagement and likely to plan the actual engagement party, because my mother’s favorite thing in the world is party planning. Nothing makes her happier.
Amie’s going to be there. At least I assume she is. She’s Ruby’s best friend. She’ll be in the wedding. I have to wonder how she’s handling this. I’m aware, thanks to Bancroft, that Ruby waited almost a full week after Bane proposed to tell Amie—because she wasn’t managing things well. When I asked what that meant, Bane shrugged and clammed up.
I don’t know if I’m part of the reason for Amie’s inability to handle things. I don’t want to make her life more difficult than it already is, especially since Armstrong is being a huge jackass about the annulment. But I can’t pretend I’m not looking forward to seeing her even if I can’t sleep with her anymore.
It’s obviously a bad idea considering the runner she pulled last time. I should’ve just left things alone, but once we were in the car reasoning took a vacation with logic, leaving my dick in charge. I’ve almost texted her a hundred times over the past few days, but I’m not going to push her to talk to me if she’s not ready. Except tonight we’re going to have to find a way to deal with this, because we’ll be spending time together, no matter what. Maybe not alone time, but time nonetheless.
I choose a purple tie and a white dress shirt to go with my black dress pants and leave my condo early so I can pick up some flowers for my mother on the way.
Traffic is worse than I anticipated, so I’m late instead of on time. My mother greets me at the door, her expression changing from chastising for my lateness to emotional when I present her with flowers, which is silly because it’s not unusual for me to bring them for her. She doesn’t pass them off to one of the staff to put them in water. Instead, she makes me come with her to the pantry to select the right vase, then she has me arrange them and put them on the table in the entryway so she can see them every time she comes home or goes out.
It’s a small gathering, just immediate family and a couple of Bancroft’s old rugby friends, so Amie is the first person I see even though she’s on the other side of the room. Her long blond hair hangs loose around her shoulders. Her knee-length lavender dress skims her curves but doesn’t conform, hiding the perfection that lies underneath. Her heels are gray, and low. The champagne glass in her hand is half full.
“Lex! You’re here!” Ruby abandons her side and runs over, throwing her arms around my neck. She never lacks for an enthusiastic greeting.
“As if I would miss your pre-engagement-party party.” I met Amie’s gaze from over Ruby’s shoulder.
Her smile is tentative and uncertain. She’s in the middle of a conversation with one of my mother’s friends. Her attention returns to her when she leans in and whispers something to Amie.
I don’t have an opportunity to talk to Amie before we’re seated for dinner because I’m pulled into a conversation with my father over business matters, which is not unusual.
She’s seated directly across from me at dinner, beside Ruby, who keeps leaning over and whispering in her ear. Amie seems to be unable to make eye contact with me. I need to get five minutes alone with her, and not to get her naked—which I would definitely like to do—but so we can figure out a way to be near each other without it being incredibly awkward, or obvious that there’s something going on. Or there had been something going on. I’m concerned that Ruby is already suspicious with all the whispering.
“Amalie, I wanted to check in with you about your experience with the Mills New York hotel spa services,” my father asks.
Shit. I don’t think I ever followed up on that with my assistant, Ursula.
Amalie gives my dad her signature polite, inquisitive smile. “New York hotels?”
My dad glances at me, somewhat questioningly, and then addresses Amie again. “Lexington mentioned how much help you were in Bora Bora with revising the spa service menu. He even went so far as to give you credit for the best ideas.”
“Oh?” Amie’s eyes flare, and for the first time, she actually meets my gaze for a fleeting second in which the question What the fuck? hangs heavy. “I think Lexington is exaggerating. I just spent a few hours being pampered.”
“Don’t be so modest, Amalie. Your input at the sister hotels is the reason we’re up on ratings again, isn’t that right, Lex?”
I can feel Bane’s eyes on me as I fight not to fidget. “Amalie was incredibly helpful.”
Ruby props her chin on her fist as she addresses Amie. “I didn’t know you were helping Lex while you were in Bora Bora.”
Amie waves her hand around in the air dismissively. “Lex was just being kind, giving me something to do so I wasn’t bored. While he went to meetings and did all the important things I sampled spa services.”
“That was really sweet of you, Lex,” Ruby says, but she’s looking at Amie and there’s a whole hell of a lot of suspicion on her face. “And here I thought all you had time for was Hottie Hook-Up.”
Amie coughs and gives Ruby the eye. Who the hell is Hottie Hook-Up?
My dad glosses right over that comment, or maybe he misses it. “There’s no need to be modest about your assistance, Amalie. We’re very grateful for your input, isn’t that right, Lexington?”
“Yeah. Yes, definitely.” Shit. I am not keeping it together right now, and it doesn’t help that Amie looks anything but comfortable with this conversation.
My dad gives me an odd look. “Lexington suggested you might be interested in experiencing some of the same services here in the city, and he thought it would be lovely to include Ruby. I assumed Lexington had already extended the invitation, but then I realize maybe you’ve been busy, all things considering. You’re working for Williams Media now, aren’t you?”
I don’t even know how my dad would know this. Or maybe it’s just been part of the gossip circuit.
“I am.”
“I’ve heard it’s going well. Wasn’t Thurston’s wife singing Amalie’s praises, Mimi?” he asks my mom.
Mimi places a hand over his. “Yes, but I think you’re embarrassing the poor girl with all this attention.”
“Right, of course. My apologies. Well, the invitation still stands to take advantage of the New York hotel spa services. It would be wonderful to get your opinion on how they stack up against the services at the Bora Bora hotels. Lex, you can have Ursula organize that for Amalie and Ruby, whenever it fits their schedules.”
“I can do that.” Please let this conversation be over.
“Perfect. I think it would be advisable to organize a lunch or dinner afterward, and Amalie can brief you on her opinions while they’re fresh, you too, Ruby.”
Amie and I exchange a quick glance. She looks completely shell-shocked. I don’t know whether I should be offended or not, or what the root of that emotion is. Now I really need to get her alone so I can talk to her without all of these people around.
The opportunity doesn’t arise until the dishes are cleared and we have an intermission before coffee and dessert. Amie excuses herself to the bathroom as people disperse from the table. I use the opportunity to take the shortcut to the powder room I assume she’ll use.
“Oh!” She stumbles back, her palm covering her mouth when she steps into the bathroom and finds me already in there. I follow her into the hall, grab her wrist, and pull her down to the next door, which happens to be my childhood bedroom. The room has been redecorated, everything a subtle, cool gray with white and black accents.
I close the door and flip the lock for privacy, standing in front of it so she can’t continue to evade me.
“What’re you doing?
” Amie backs away from me as if I’m a grenade missing the pin.
I stay where I am, hoping I can calm her. “I think we need to talk.”
“I don’t think we should be alone together right now.” She looks around. “Especially not with a—” She gestures to the king bed to the right.
“Worried you’re going to end up naked?”
Her mouth drops, and she props her fist on her hip. “No!” Her irritation is more entertaining than it should be.
“Good to know you have some self-control.” There’s no sarcasm, just bitterness. I’m angry at the way she ran off the last time I saw her, and the way she’s ignored me all night tonight.
She purses her lips, color rising in her cheeks. “Why would you tell your father I helped you with the spa menu?”
“Because you did.”
“I thought we were supposed to keep what happened in Bora Bora between us.”
“I didn’t tell him we fucked each other, Amie. I told him you were helpful with spa service suggestions.”
“Well I didn’t tell Ruby about all the spa service help I gave you, so it’s going to make her more suspicious than she already is.”
“Why is she suspicious in the first place?”
“Because I’m not good at lying to her. It’s not something I’ve had to do before and I don’t know how to handle it. We shouldn’t be in here together. I shouldn’t be alone with you.”
She makes a move for the door but I’m faster, I step in front of it. She closes her eyes and exhales a frustrated breath. When they open again, fear makes them fiery.
I don’t understand what would create that emotion in her. “Amie, I’m not going to hurt you.”
She drops her head and barks a laugh. “No. You’re just going to lock me in a room with you against my will.”
I lean against the door and cross my arms over my chest. “You spent two weeks locked in a room with me and I didn’t hear any complaints then. Actually, all I heard were a lot of moans.”
She narrows her eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Doing this to you? All I want to do is talk. I’m not the one who pulled a fuck and run the last time we saw each other. We’re going to be seeing more of each other whether you like it or not. I’m sorry if you regret what happened, but I can’t undo it and, frankly, I don’t really want to.”
Her eyes are wide and she fidgets nervously. I just want to touch her, hold her, make that panicked look disappear.
She touches her lips with shaky fingers and whispers, “I didn’t mean to run.”
“Well then why did you?”
Amie drags her hand down her face. “I was scared. I’m still scared.”
“Scared of what? I told you I’m not going to hurt you and I mean it.”
“You can’t know that, Lex. You can say it, but you can’t make that kind of guarantee. I don’t trust myself around you, okay?”
“I won’t do what I did last time again. I won’t push you like that. You don’t have to worry about me trying to get you naked.”
She throws her hands up in the air, they fall limply to her sides. “It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s me. My complete lack of self-control around you is a problem, Lex. This was supposed to stay in Bora Bora. I can’t keep doing this with you.”
“All we’re doing is talking.”
“In a bedroom. Alone. With a bed!” Her hands are balled into fists, her chest rises and falls, a flush creeping across her neck. “I’m still married, Lex.”
“Because Armstrong won’t sign a piece of paper.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m still married to him.”
“And what if you weren’t?”
“But I am and he’s making this so difficult.”
I’m doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t, pushing. I’m falling for this woman and her heart isn’t mended from the last blow it took. I still want this though, I want her and I don’t think I’m capable of letting her run away again. I take a step forward and brush my fingers across her cheek. Her reaction is visceral, the shock of sensation that makes her skin pebble doing the same to mine. “Tell me you don’t feel this pull, Amie.”
Her gaze stays fixed on my chest. “I can’t.”
“You can’t tell me or you can’t feel it.”
“Lex.”
I lift her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze. “If Armstrong wasn’t in the way what would you want?”
She tips her cheek into my palm.
“You know what I’d want?” I step in closer, until our bodies are almost touching. “You. Not just for a couple of stolen weeks.”
“I don’t trust my feelings right now, Lex.”
“That’s okay. Just trust mine.” I close the distance and kiss her.
Amie moans, soft and desperate as she fists my tie and presses her body against mine. “I missed you. I miss you. I’m sorry I ran.”
I wrap my arms around her, absorbing the feel of her close to me. I missed this. The connection we have. The electric burst of lust that rules my body every time she puts her hands on me. This is how it is between us. Always intense, out of control. I don’t want to lose it, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep it.
When my hands start to roam she pushes away and stumbles back. “We can’t do this right now. We’re at a dinner party. Your family is out there.”
She has a point. This isn’t the best place for a discussion or getting naked, which I told her I wasn’t going to do. “I’m taking you home tonight. You’re not running away on me again, and we’re going to finish this.”
She nods, fingers sweeping back and forth over her lips. “I won’t run. I don’t even think I can anymore.”
If I’d been smarter I wouldn’t have slept with her in Bora Bora. If I’d been thinking with something other than my dick I would’ve waited it out, until this shit with Armstrong was over, until she was ready for something more than sex. Just because we’ve set the boundaries, doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to readjust them in my favor.
Twenty-One: I Can’t Stop
Amie
Lex leaves the bedroom first, which gives me a few minutes to collect myself before I go back to the party. I’m nervous about how to deal with Ruby. I’m grateful she won’t be able to get me alone before Lex and I can figure out how we’re going to deal with this.
I don’t even know what the hell is going on right now. Despite my actions he still seems invested and I’m unsure what to do with that.
Especially now that I have to deal with him on a regular basis again. I wish it was just about the sex. It would be so much easier if it was limited to physical attraction. As much as it seems that he was designed by my own personal orgasm team to provide the best, most amazing releases in the entire world, it’s far more complex than that. Or at least that’s how it feels.
I take a deep breath and prepare to manage being near Lex and acting normal.
When I return to the party everyone is seated in the living room, drinking coffee and eating petit fours. I might be on the other side of the room, but I can feel Lex’s proximity, and it’s making me anxious for the conversation I know is coming.
Beyond getting into bed with him, what I really want right now is to curl up beside him and have him tell me stories about his childhood like he did in Bora Bora. I want to listen to him talk about Mimi, to hear the reverence in his voice. More than that I want that reverence directed at me. And that scares me, because I don’t know if that desire is real or a projection of another idealized version of him that I created in Bora Bora.
“Everything okay?” Ruby asks as I take the seat beside her. “You were gone awhile.” She glances in Lex’s direction and he quickly refocuses his attention away from me, to his father.
“Everything’s fine. Just messages from Pierce about some legal stuff.”
“Armstrong stuff?”
I nod. It’s not an out and out lie. Pierce did send me a bunch of messages today about t
he language in the pre-nup. I’m not sure if it means anything yet, but he’s still digging.
Mimi drops into the armchair across from us. “Amie, you’re so good at organizing events, do you think you’d have some time available to help plan the menu for the engagement party?”
“Oh! That’s a great idea!” Ruby says enthusiastically. “Where should we hold it?”
“What about the Concord?” I glance in Lex’s direction, surprised by his participation in the conversation.
“In the Inception ballroom! Where we held the Halloween soirée!” Mimi claps her hands excitedly. “Lex, you’re there later this week, aren’t you? With Bane, yes?”
“I’ll be between the Concord and the Mills Hotel next week,” Bane replies. “With Griffin out of the country, I’m juggling both hotels.”
“Hopefully he won’t miss the engagement party.” Mimi seems worried about that. “He mentioned Lincoln is out there, too.”
“Our cousin Lincoln?” Bane asks.
The mention of Armstrong’s older brother is jarring. I’ve never met him, but, from what I’ve been told, he’s not particularly involved with his family. It’s not hard to understand why.
“Mmm. Funny how Griffin is on the other side of the world and runs into him,” Mimi replies.
“I haven’t seen Lincoln in ages,” Bane says.
“Well, he avoids his family as much as possible, doesn’t he?” Mimi replies, lips pursed in what might be disapproval.
“Can you blame him? Anyway, I’m at the Concord all week.” Lex drums his long, capable fingers on the arm of his chair. It’s something he does when he’s anxious, or thinking about something that bothers him. He foot taps the floor twice before stilling. I glance up and his eyes dart away from me and focus back on Mimi. “How can I help?”
“Why don’t you arrange a dinner with catering so we can set the menu for the party, Lex? Amie, would you be available for something like that? You and Ruby did such an amazing job with the Halloween party in the fall and this kind of planning isn’t really Bancroft’s strong suit.”
“Of course, anything I can do.” At least I can attribute the excitement to the party planning, even though in my head I’m planning ways to be alone with him.
The Shacking Up Series Page 53