by Sera Trevor
Oscar gave Noah another questioning glance. Noah nodded his assent. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” Oscar said, and left.
His mother didn’t speak right away. She smoothed her skirt and cleared her throat. “I came to apologize for your father’s outburst. That was unseemly of him. It was not a conversation that ought to be had in a hospital room, especially not at that volume.”
This was a familiar scene. His father would lose his temper, his mother would apologize, and then she would explain to him why his father was right anyway. Sure enough, she continued. “But you can’t deny that Rebecca has not done well since moving out here.”
“How do you know that? You haven’t spoken to her in years.” He was surprised at himself. That sounded more like something Oscar would say.
“That isn’t entirely true,” she said. “She and I speak a few times a year.”
It was like a slap to the face. She had been in contact? “She never mentioned it.”
“I told her not to. You’d just poison her against us—” She stopped herself. “I didn’t come here to fight. No matter what our differences are, we all want what’s best for Rebecca.”
Before he could respond, the doorbell rang again. That definitely had to be Carmen. He was torn between being relieved at the interruption and terrified about the two of them meeting.
Oscar came from the kitchen and opened the door. “Hey, Mom! Come on in.”
Carmen shuffled through the door, Bette propped against one hip, a diaper bag slung over her shoulder. She kissed Oscar. “The enchiladas are in the car. Here, take Bet...” She trailed off as she spotted Noah’s mom. A smile broke out on her face. “Oh! You must be Noah’s mom!”
Noah and his mom got to their feet. Noah looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering how his mother would react. She cleared her throat. “I am.”
“Carmen, this is my mom, Hannah,” Noah said.
Carmen came into the room, Bette still in one arm, her other arm open for a hug. “It is so nice to meet you, Hannah!”
His mom took half a step back, but Carmen’s hugs were hard to avoid. After a quick squeeze, Carmen thrust Bette at her. “Bette’s other grandma should hold her while I get the enchiladas. You’ll stay for dinner, yes?”
Oscar cleared his throat from the doorway. “Noah’s really tired, Mom.”
“Oh, of course,” she said and turned to Noah. “So sorry, honey. You got some sleep though?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Noah said, flustered. Since when did he call Carmen “ma’am”?
He glanced over at his mother to see how she was taking all of this, but she seemed too lost in Bette to pay attention to any of them.
Carmen noticed his mother’s distraction, too. “She is an angel, isn’t she? I love baby girls. I have four.”
“Four?” His mother looked up. “You were blessed.”
“Yes, very blessed,” she agreed. She patted Noah’s arm. “And I am so grateful for Noah and Rebecca too. I thank God every day that they are in our lives. You raised such good people.”
His mother seemed bewildered. “Thank you.”
“And you will come to dinner this Sunday at my house,” she said. “Your husband, too.”
His mother didn’t respond right away. “We’ll think about it,” she mumbled. She handed Bette back to Noah. “I should go. Your father will wonder where I am. We can talk later.”
Of course she hadn’t told him where she was going. He probably would have forbidden it.
“Bye, Hannah,” Oscar said, adding a sarcastic flourish to her name. She didn’t respond.
Oscar shut the door behind her. “Mom,” he said, annoyed. “You can’t just invite her to dinner like that!”
“And why not? It’s my house, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but they’re his parents.” He gestured with his chin to Noah.
Carmen turned to Noah. “Oh, you aren’t mad at me, are you?”
He was, in fact, annoyed, but it was hard to be angry when he knew she meant well. “You’re just trying to help.”
Carmen blinked, her eyes wet. “I just think that if we show her how much we love you, and how happy you are, maybe she will change her mind.”
There was no way in hell that would happen, but he didn’t feel like fighting. “That’s a lovely thought. I appreciate you trying to help.”
Carmen retrieved the enchiladas from the car and took them to the kitchen. Noah was afraid she was going to linger, but she didn’t. As soon as she was gone, Oscar said, “I can univite your mom. I’ll even be nice about it. Tell her it’s been canceled.”
Noah shook his head. “No need. They won’t come. I just—I don’t want you to talk to them right now.”
Oscar gave him a long look. Noah was afraid he was going to pry, but he seemed to think better of it. “I’ll go put the enchiladas in the oven.”
Noah sat on the couch with Bette. She pulled at his hair and slapped his face. “Hey, I’m getting beat up from all sides,” he said with a smile. “I don’t need it from you too.”
He snuggled her against his chest. In all the chaos, at least he had her. Had his mother done this when he and Rebecca were babies? What must have it been like for her when both of her children left her behind?
His heart twinged. His father’s cruelty was one thing, but his mother’s was a byproduct of her beliefs. Did that make her more sympathetic, or less?
Noah held his daughter tighter. He would never turn his back on Bette. Never.
Noah didn’t see his parents for several days. He got a coworker to call him when they left so he could see Rebecca when they weren’t around. It was cowardly. He knew that. Sooner or later, he’d have to tell them that he wasn’t going to let them take Rebecca without a fight, but he just didn’t have the energy. He was still bruised from his father’s verbal attack. Whatever happened next would likely be worse.
He considered pulling out of Sunday dinner as well. There was almost no chance that his parents would come, but even a remote possibility was more than he could handle. But if he told Oscar he wanted to stay home instead, he’d have to explain it was because he was worried about his parents showing up. That would prompt Oscar to insist on calling to uninvite them, and he didn’t want to deal with the fallout from that confrontation either. Maybe he could fake a headache.
When Sunday rolled around, he didn’t have to fake anything. His head felt like it was being squeezed by an enormous fist.
“You should stay home and rest,” Oscar said as he finished getting Bette dressed. “Mom will understand.”
“No, I’ll be fine,” Noah said. Another possibility had crossed his mind: a showdown between Oscar and his parents without Noah around to break things up. He went to the bathroom to take some Tylenol. After swallowing the pills, he studied himself in the mirror. His face was pale and drawn, with large, dark circles under his eyes. He winced. No wonder no one believed him when he said he was fine.
Oscar drove so that Noah could rest his eyes on the way over. Bette was unusually quiet, as if she could sense her daddy was in pain. The thought brought tears to his eyes. He rubbed his eyes. God, he was a mess.
When they arrived, Noah couldn’t see any unfamiliar vehicles parked around the house, just the Lozadas’ cars and Jeremy and Crystal’s minivan. He heaved a sigh of relief.
As soon as they were inside, Carmen gave Noah a once-over. “You sit down,” she said, gesturing at the sofa in the living room. “No helping me in the kitchen today.”
Noah opened his mouth to protest, but it would be useless anyway, so he did as he was told.
“Let me see that baby!” Alex said, taking Bette from Oscar’s arms. She and Oscar disappeared to the back yard. Alex looked back at Noah once, obviously concerned.
Nikki plopped down beside him. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” he said dryly. He rubbed his face.
“Worried your folks will show up?”
She never was one to beat around the bu
sh. “They won’t. I just have a headache.”
Nikki bit her lip. “I know you don’t usually go for this sort of thing, but I’ve got some edibles, if you want one.”
She truly was Oscar’s sister. “No, thank you.”
She shrugged. “Let me know if you change your mind. I’m going to get a beer.” She headed toward the back door. Noah stared after her, vague worries about Bette’s teenage years rumbling in his head.
He shut his eyes again, but his headache didn’t improve. He had been forbidden from the kitchen, but he didn’t feel like dealing with everyone’s worried stares just yet. He poked his head in the door. Carmen was frying taco shells. “Sure I can’t help?” he asked.
She sighed. “I suppose you can shred the lettuce. But you sit down if you aren’t feeling well.”
“I’m fine, really.” He wondered how many times he was going to have to say that today.
Noah shredded the lettuce while Carmen finished the taco shells and stirred the taco meat sizzling in a pan. She took a spoonful and held it out to Noah. “What do you think? Not too spicy?”
Noah blew on the meat and tasted it. It was a little on the bland side for Carmen. “Not spicy at all.”
“I was just thinking, your mother… She didn’t look like a woman who enjoyed spice.”
Noah snorted. “No, she doesn’t.”
Carmen returned to stirring. “Oscar says they won’t come.”
“No, they won’t.”
“He says I should say sorry again. And I am sorry, if I surprised you.” She set her jaw. “But I’m not sorry for trying to reach out. They are family, whether they like it or not, and Lozadas look after their family. I had to try.”
Noah put his arm around her and kissed her temple. “I know. I wish things were different, but—”
The doorbell rang. Noah froze. It couldn’t be.
Carmen looked up at him, frowning. “You’ve gone white! Here, sit down.” She led him to the kitchen table. “I’ll go see who it is.”
But they both already knew. The impossible had happened. Noah heard the door open, and then his mother’s voice. He felt frozen, like he’d fallen through thin ice.
That frozen feeling only lasted until the back door opened and Oscar stepped in. He lurched to his feet. He couldn’t let Oscar be alone with his parents—
Noah tried to push Oscar back through the door. But Oscar was a solid man, and there was no moving him. “I heard the doorbell. Did your parents actually show up?”
He wasn’t left wondering for long, for Carmen and his mother came into the kitchen. Carmen was beaming in triumph. His mother’s expression was tight. Noah looked over her shoulder. His dad wasn’t there. A small blessing.
“It is too bad your husband couldn’t make it,” Carmen was saying. “But we are so glad you are here!”
Oscar folded his arms. “Great to see you again, Hannah.”
Noah met his mother’s eyes, trying to read her. Why had she come?
His mother looked away. “I thank you for your hospitality,” she said to Carmen.
Carmen put a hand on his mother’s back. She stiffened. Carmen didn’t seem to notice. “Come, let me introduce you to the family!”
The two women went through the door. Oscar made as if to follow them, but Noah grabbed his arm. “Don’t.”
Oscar turned to him. “Don’t what?”
Noah let his hand drop. “I don’t know. I just—I can’t deal with a fight right now.”
“Who said anything about a fight? I’m not about to start anything. Or don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you!” He tasted vomit in the back of his throat but swallowed it back.
Oscar put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey,” he said gently. “It’s okay.” He pulled him in.
Noah allowed it, resting his head on Oscar’s shoulder as Oscar wrapped his arms around him. Just being in his husband’s arms quieted his panic.
“We can leave,” Oscar said. “I’ll grab Bette and we’ll get out of here. Mom will understand.”
Noah shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I just needed a minute.”
Oscar studied him. “Did something happen at the hospital you didn’t tell me about?”
“No,” Noah said quickly, because that really would start a fight.
Oscar gestured to the door. “Wanna go see if they’ve scared her off already?”
The bark of laughter that came out of his mouth surprised him. He still felt nauseated, but maybe they would get through this.
They headed to the back yard.
“...and this is Alex, my oldest,” Carmen was saying. “And her husband Chad.”
Alex stepped forward and took his mother’s hand. “I’m a lawyer,” she said with a sharp smile. “Graduated from Harvard, summa cum laude. I’m busy at my very successful law firm, but I always make the time to handle my family’s business personally.” She released her hand and stepped back.
Carmen gave Alex a sharp look before turning to Stephanie and Nikki, who were sitting together. “These are my youngest daughters, Stephanie and Nikki,” she said quickly, as if wanting to make sure they didn’t have time to be weird. Stephanie nodded her head. Nikki threw up the devil’s horns, which earned her another sharp look from Carmen.
“My other daughter Sophia lives in San Francisco with her son. We don’t get to see them too often. Only four times a year.” She turned next to Crystal and Jeremy. Crystal had Bette in her lap. “And this is Oscar’s best friend Jeremy and his wife, Crystal, and their little ones. And of course, you know Bette.” She laughed.
His mother’s face softened. “Yes. Do you think I could hold her?”
Crystal shot a questioning look at Noah. Noah nodded his consent. Crystal rose from her seat and handed Bette over. His mother’s whole demeanor changed as a smile spread across her face.
Carmen came up behind her. “She is so precious, isn’t she?”
“Yes. I can’t tell you how much she looks like my Rebecca. Almost exactly the same.” She looked in Nikki’s direction. “I understand that you are the child’s mother?”
“Uh, no,” Nikki said. “Egg donor.” She pointed to Crystal. “Crystal was the surrogate. Bette’s got two dads and two moms. Pretty cool, right?”
The smile vanished from his mother’s face. She turned her attention back to Bette. “Just like Rebecca,” she said again, as if Nikki hadn’t said anything.
Carmen cleared her throat. “Why don’t we go inside? Dinner is just about ready. Nikki, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen?” There was disapproval in her voice.
Nikki did not seem particularly repentant. She flashed Oscar and Noah a grin as she followed her mom to the kitchen.
The rest of them made their way to the dining room. The table had been set with Carmen’s best dishes, with a smaller table set up off to the side for Jeremy and Crystal’s kids. Anxiety flared in Noah again. Where were they going to put his mother? There was potential disaster in every possible seating arrangement. Also worrying was the way his mom was holding Bette—like she’d never let her go.
He didn’t want her sitting near Bette for the meal, so he steered her toward the end of the table away from the high chair. He’d have to ask for Bette back, but then she’d follow him. Or he’d have to abandon his mother and not be around to stop any awkward conversations.
Fortunately, a rescue crew had been dispatched. Oscar plucked Bette out of her arms without so much as a word and took her to the other end of the table. Before she could protest or follow him, Crystal put her hand on his mother’s shoulder and gave her a warm smile. “Why don’t you sit by me?”
His mother looked down the table at Bette and opened her mouth to say something, but little Ruby tugged on her skirt. “Are you going to be my grandma too?”
His mother looked taken aback. “Your grandma?”
“Yeah. Nana isn’t my real grandma, but Mommy says that family is more than who you’re related to, so she gets to be my nan
a anyway. I’d love another grandma!”
Crystal put her hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “We’ve only just met Mrs. Henderson, sweetie. You can’t go around asking people you’ve just met to be your grandma.” Crystal smiled at his mother. “Sorry. She gets a little carried away.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “She’s a sweet girl.” She looked over at Jeremy, who was getting the twins settled at the kids’ table. “You have a beautiful family.”
Noah wasn’t sure if it was meant as a barb, but it still stung. His family would never be beautiful to her.
In response, Crystal linked her arm with Noah’s. “I really do,” she said. “I’ve been so blessed by having the Lozadas as my surrogate family. My biological family abandoned me. My life has been so much better since they brought me in.”
She spoke with warmth and sincerity, without a hint of rebuke in her tone. But from his mother’s tight smile, it seemed she got the message anyway.
“Thanks, Crystal,” Noah said. “That means a lot.”
“Any time.” She squeezed his arm before releasing it.
Carmen and Nikki emerged from the kitchen with the tacos. Noah took his seat beside Oscar at the other end of the table, feeling secure that Crystal would handle his mother. Carmen seemed to have the same idea about making sure fights didn’t break out, because she made Nikki sit next to her at the front of the table. Nikki usually liked to sit nearer to the kids.
In fact, the entire seating arrangement had shifted to provide the least amount of friction. Miguel sat at the head, as usual. To his immediate right, but off to the side, was Bette’s high chair. Oscar sat in the next chair, with Noah on his right. Chad and Crystal provided a buffer between Noah and his mother, who sat at the very end of the table. Across from her were easy-going Jeremy and Stephanie, the most level-headed Lozada. Alex was next, sitting beside Nikki—no doubt another safeguard against any mischief.
When everyone was seated, Carmen caught his mother’s eye. “Hannah, would you like to say grace?”
Carmen meant well. She always did. But the absolute last thing that Noah wanted to do was be a part of a prayer to Jehovah.