by Sera Trevor
Descending the stairs, he found Oscar in the kitchen, standing in front of the stove with a frying pan in hand. “Thought I heard you get up. You want some breakfast?”
“Why aren’t you at work?”
“Took the day off.” Oscar nodded to the table. “Go on, sit down. Eggs okay?” His tone was light but firm.
Noah swallowed and sat. “Sure.”
Bette bounced in the doorway and gurgled, waving her fists cheerfully. At least someone was in a good mood.
A few minutes later, Oscar slid a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Noah. Noah’s stomach rebelled, but he forced himself to eat.
He ate about half of his plate before putting his fork down. “You done?” Oscar asked. When Noah nodded, he continued. “We need to talk.”
“I know. I’m sorry about yesterday,” Noah said in a rush. “I shouldn’t have taken an edible. It was really irresponsible of me.”
Oscar held up a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Just give me a heads-up next time. And that isn’t what I want to talk about.”
Noah dropped his gaze to his half-eaten eggs. The way the gelatinous mass glistened turned his stomach. “I know I said a lot of things. I wasn’t myself. I’d rather not talk about it.”
“I know you don’t. But you have to.”
“If you’re worried that I’m...that I would ever hurt myself, that’s not going to happen. I was a teenager. I thought a lot of dramatic things. I wouldn’t do that to you, or my daughter. I need you to respect my wishes and leave it alone.”
Oscar shook his head. “No. You need to face this.”
Anger flamed in him. “You don’t know what it’s like.”
“Are you kidding me? Remember when we first met? I was a hot mess, all because I wouldn’t face my past. The only reason I’m here with you is because you helped me work through that.” Oscar put his hand on Noah’s. “Let me help you.”
Noah snatched his hand away. “Our situations were not the same. You had one bad thing happen to you—one really terrible, horrible thing. I’m not denying that. But you had your mother, and your sisters, and Jeremy. I had no one, not even myself. You don’t know what it’s like growing up a Witness. How it messes with your mind. They beat it into you—you are no one without Jehovah. I was literally no one before I came to California. I don’t have a past. There’s nothing there to work through!” He slammed his fist on the table so hard the plates rattled.
They both started at the sound. Noah couldn’t read Oscar’s expression—pity? Disgust? Whatever it was, Noah didn’t blame him. He wished he could shrink, to be small enough that no one would see him again.
“I knew that your religion screwed you up,” Oscar said. “But the way you described it before, you seriously downplayed what you went through. Why?”
“Because you would have looked at me the way you’re looking at me now!”
“You were afraid I’d look at you with love and concern? Because that’s all I’m feeling!”
Was that true? Noah looked again. He couldn’t tell.
Oscar rubbed his face. “I can’t make you do anything. I know from experience that it doesn’t work that way. But I am asking you, as your husband and someone who loves you, to be more honest from now on.”
Noah blinked. “Honest? You think I’m lying to you?”
“Well—yeah. I don’t think you mean to half the time, but you keep secrets, or say whatever it is you think is going to avoid a confrontation. It’s not working. Your parents aren’t going to just go away. I want to help, but I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
Noah slumped in his chair. Oscar was right. On top of everything else, Noah was a liar too.
Oscar got up and came around to his side of the table. “Hey,” he said gently. “I’m not mad. Just tell me what you need.”
Noah head throbbed. “I can’t, because I don’t know.” He fought back tears.
Oscar’s arms closed around him. “What you need right now is a day off,” Oscar said. His kissed his temple. “Go back to bed.”
Oscar helped Noah to his feet. “Have you seen my phone?” he asked.
“No phone,” Oscar said firmly. “When I say a day off, I mean it.” He picked up their iPad from the counter. “Here, watch some ASMR videos or something. Relax. I’ll take care of things.”
Noah hesitated, but he accepted the iPad. “What if my parents call?”
“I’ll handle it.”
“Don’t,” Noah said. “Just let it go to voice mail.”
“You got it.” Oscar made a shooing motion. “Go on. I’ll bring you lunch later.”
Bette squealed for attention, so Oscar lifted her out of the bouncer. “We’ve got this, right Bette? Nobody’s gonna hurt Daddy on our watch.”
Noah did as he was told and returned to bed. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go back to sleep, but he could at least try to relax. He put an ASMR video on his iPad and shut his eyes.
He must have drifted off, because he awoke to Oscar gently shaking his shoulder. “Hey,” he said. “The hospital just called.”
Noah went from drowsy to alert immediately. “The hospital?”
“Rebecca’s waking up. They want you to come in. Mom’s picked up Bette. Zeke’s already there.”
Awake? Noah’s head spun. He wasn’t ready for a confrontation with his parents again. “My parents—”
“—can wait.” He offered Noah a hand. “Come on.”
They arrived at the hospital a short time later. Noah’s heart was in his throat as he and Oscar approached her room. They said “awake,” but he had no idea what that actually meant. Would she be able to speak? Did she know what was happening? Did she wake up scared and alone?
Zeke was at her bedside, holding her hand. She didn’t look much different—she was still pale, her face sunken, her body emaciated. Machines still beeped and whirred around her. But her eyes were open, and the ventilator had been removed. Tears ran down her cheeks when Noah entered the room.
Zeke patted her hand. “See, I told you he was coming.” Zeke stood up and offered his chair. “She’s been asking for you.”
She looked up at him with wide, dark eyes. “Noah.” It was slurred, but recognizable.
Noah’s eyes welled with tears. He took her hand. “Yes, Becks. I’m here.”
Dr. Ling entered the room. “There’s my star patient!” she said brightly. “How are you feeling?”
“Noah,” she said in response.
Dr. Ling turned to Noah. “Some confusion is to be expected at this stage, but she’s had a remarkable turnaround, considering her condition.” When he didn’t reply, the doctor peered at him. “This is good news.”
Noah forced a smile. “Yes, of course. I’m a little overwhelmed.”
“Totally understandable.” She consulted her clipboard. “She’ll need to stay in the ICU for a little while longer, but as long as she continues to improve, we should be able to move her to a regular hospital bed.”
“And then what?” Oscar asked. “How long does she need to stay?”
“Another couple weeks, depending on how physical therapy goes. She’s going to need a lot of therapy as an outpatient, too, but I’d say her prognosis is good, especially with the help of her family. I understand she’ll be moving in with your parents?”
“No,” Oscar said firmly. “She won’t.”
The doctor seemed surprised but composed herself. “I see. A skilled nursing facility is always an option.”
Noah caught Oscar’s eye, who gave a little nod. “I’m taking a leave of absence,” Noah said. “She’ll come home with us.”
Zeke cocked his head. “You are?”
“It’s something Oscar and I have been talking about. She belongs with us.”
“Glad to hear it.” The doctor addressed Rebecca again. “It’s going to take a lot of hard work, but you’re a strong girl. I know you can get better.”
After the doctor left, Zeke turned to Noah. “
Your folks aren’t going to let this go without a fight.”
“Who cares?” Oscar said. “She’s awake now. She can make her own decisions.” He looked at Rebecca. “You want to come home with us or your parents?”
She looked confused. “Noah?”
“There,” Oscar said. “See? She wants you. Case closed. Now all we have to do is tell your parents to get lost.”
Noah frowned. They couldn’t know what her true wishes were in this condition. He wasn’t sure she even understood what was happening.
He patted her hand. “I’ve got to talk with Oscar about something. I’ll be right back. Zeke will stay here with you.”
Noah and Oscar stepped into the hallway. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to bar them from seeing her completely.”
“Why not? She wants you, not them. She said so herself.”
“She just said my name several times. We can’t know if she understands what’s happening.”
Oscar’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you trying to say that you want your parents around?”
“No, of course not. I’m just saying that it’s not going to be that easy. They can argue that she can’t make decisions yet.”
“They can argue whatever they want. You know what Alex said. No judge in their right mind would give your parents control of her decisions. Not with the estrangement and the religious differences.” Oscar put a hand on his shoulder. “We tried it your way. It’s time to play hardball. Your parents gave up any right to be in your lives when they disowned you. They had the opportunity to patch things up, and they threw that in the garbage with the way they treated you. No more. Unless you want them to stick around?”
Noah swallowed. “No.”
Oscar nodded “Good. Then it’s settled.”
“So when they show up, we just, what? Tell them to go away? Have them barred from her room?”
“Well—yeah. The hospital can restrict visitors, can’t they?”
“But they’re her parents.”
“And you’re her brother, and you work here. They know you. Tell them what’s going on. I’m sure they’ll back you up.”
Noah chewed the inside of his cheek. “They’re going to make a scene.”
“Then we’ll have them over and explain things to them.”
Noah started. “Have them over? When?”
“How about now?”
Noah’s vision swam, but Oscar was right. They needed to be on top of this. “Okay.”
“Call them and tell them to meet us at our place.”
Noah took out his phone, but hesitated. He was going to be sick.
Oscar reached for the phone. “Never mind, I’ll do it.”
Noah pulled back. “Wait! I don’t know if this is the best way to handle things.”
“You want them to come over now and talk to her while she’s like this?” Oscar demanded. “She’s not in her right mind. What if they start in on bringing her back to Jehovah? What if she starts to believe them? Do you want to risk that?”
“Of course not!” Noah’s shoulders slumped. “I’m just...”
“You’re scared,” Oscar said gently. “I get it. You can’t think straight when they’re around, either, you know. Which is why I’m going to handle this. Do you trust me?”
Noah’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. But what choice did he have? Oscar was right. He couldn’t trust himself when it came to his parents.
He put his trust in his husband. He handed Oscar the phone. Oscar took it, and then pulled Noah into his arms. “I’ll take care of this, and then we can focus on Rebecca. This will all be over soon.”
Noah hoped he was right.
9
His parents agreed to meet them at their home. Noah was surprised—he had ducked back into Rebecca’s room while Oscar made the call so he had no idea what Oscar had said to them. He didn’t really want to know. Part of him wanted Oscar to handle the whole thing. He could stay with Rebecca, let him sort it out at home. But that was just running away again. He knew he needed to face them.
The knowledge didn’t make it any easier.
They didn’t say much on their way home. Noah was too busy trying to keep from throwing up. Oscar pulled into the garage. Noah went to open the door, but Oscar stopped him. “We need to be a united front on this,” he said. “And this needs to be a clean break. Don’t try to reason with them. Don’t make excuses for them, either.”
Noah looked away. He felt like a child. But isn’t that what he wanted—for someone to swoop in and take care of it? “I won’t.”
Oscar tilted Noah’s chin upward. “We got this. Everything’s going to be okay.”
They went inside. Oscar fixed himself a drink. Noah wasn’t sure if that was a great idea, but he couldn’t blame him. His own stomach was too much of a mess to attempt it.
The doorbell rang all too soon. Oscar answered it while Noah remained in the living room. He greeted them civilly enough and led them into the living room.
“Why don’t you have a seat?” Oscar said.
Neither of his parents took the offer. “What is this about?” his mother asked.
“Rebecca’s awake. Doctor says her prognosis is good.”
His mother let out a cry and nearly collapsed. His father steadied her. “Our prayers have been answered!” she said, her eyes shining with tears.
His father put his arms around her and laid a kiss on her head. His eyes were wet, too. Noah wasn’t used to his father looking so vulnerable. Was he wrong about him not caring?
His mother wiped her eyes. “Why couldn’t we talk about this at the hospital?”
“Because we need to go over what happens next with her care,” Oscar said.
“We’ve rented a house,” his mother said. “We’re picking up the keys this afternoon. It won’t take much time to get things set up for her.” His mother sniffed. “Abe and I have talked it over, and we’re not opposed to allowing Noah to visit on occasion, at least until she’s well enough to decide for herself whether she wants to see him.”
“That’s funny,” Oscar said. “Noah and I were just discussing the same thing about you.”
His mother’s gaze hardened. “And what do you mean by that?”
“Rebecca is coming home with us.”
She scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Who’s going to look after her?”
“Noah’s taking a leave of absence.”
“We are her parents. You have no right—”
“Actually,” Oscar interrupted, “we have every right. And you haven’t been her parents for years.”
His father butted in. “You will not degrade our daughter by dragging her into this—”
“—this what? Happy household? Rebecca loves us. We love her.”
His father clenched his fists. “I won’t allow it!”
Oscar bared his teeth. “I think you’re confused. You don’t have a say here. No court in the land is going to give you control of her medical care, considering that she would be dead if you’d been the one to bring her into the hospital.”
His mother’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” Realization flickered on her face. She looked to Noah. “You told us she didn’t have a transfusion!”
Oscar continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “And it’s a moot point anyway, because once she’s well enough to speak for herself, she sure as shit isn’t going to choose you.”
His father lunged forward until he was right in Oscar’s face. “That’s enough!” he roared.
Oscar didn’t flinch. “You think you can intimidate me in my own house?” He laughed. “I’m a grown man, not some little kid you can terrify. Now you either start playing nice and keep a relationship with your daughter, or you can get the fuck out and never come back. Up to you.”
There was a moment of silence. Noah’s heart thudded, his stomach turned. He was caught between elation of witnessing someone finally stand up to his dad and stomach-dropping fear. Because Dad always won. That was ju
st how it was.
His dad stepped away from Oscar and slowly, slowly turned toward Noah. “Do you agree with this?”
Noah froze. In a flash, he remembered a childhood full of bruises, of ringing ears from being screamed at, of holding in tears for fear of making it worse, of having to smile and thank his father for his “guidance,” of feeling less-than, always. He set his chin. “Yes.”
His father sneered. “When I found out that you had left, all those years ago, do you know what my first feeling was? Relief. I always knew there was something wrong with you. You’re disgusting—”
Oscar grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “Don’t talk to him like that!”
His dad made a fist. Oscar’s own hands were clenched, and he was practically bouncing with energy, his eyes gleaming. Was Oscar seriously going to fight him, right there in the living room? It was thrilling to see Oscar stand up to his dad, but an actual fistfight was a spectacularly bad idea.
He leapt to his feet and put a hand on Oscar’s shoulder. “Don’t, please,” he said quietly in his ear.
His mother seemed to have the same idea and was at his dad’s side, murmuring something to him. The anger in the room went from a boil to a simmer.
“You need to leave. Now,” Oscar said.
His dad’s lip curled. “This isn’t over.”
Oscar smiled nastily. “Oh, I’m sure it isn’t.” He turned to Noah’s mother. “And don’t you dare think about nosing around my mom’s house looking for Bette. You will never see our daughter ever again.”
His mother let out a cry. She turned to Noah. “Noah, please—”
“Don’t talk to him!” Oscar roared. “Don’t you even look at him. Get out of our fucking house now!”
And just like that, they were banished. As soon as they were out the door, Noah sank onto the sofa, his whole body shaking. Oscar sat down beside him, his arm around him. “You okay?”
“I don’t know.” He buried his face in Oscar’s shoulder. “That was so awful.”
“But kind of awesome too, right? Did you see the look on his face? I thought he was going to shit himself, he was so mad.”