by Allie Santos
In the light of day, and more specifically on the other side of alcohol, I realized where we were. It was the ritziest part of downtown, the part I seldom explored. Hell, my old apartment was on the whole other side of the city. The streets were barren, and I forecasted an uninterrupted walk. Just how I liked it.
I gauged the easiest way to get to my old apartment. If I took Garden Street all the way down to the bus station, I could board from there and it’d take me southbound toward Walnut Street. There, I would only have to walk a block to reach my old complex.
Decision made, I started down the street and tried my best to ignore Roark. He made it easy by not talking, but at the same time, I wanted him to. I’d forgotten how well he did with silence. My lips tightened at the contradictions swirling in my head.
I cleared my throat exaggeratedly and eyed him out the corner of my eyes. His body was angled toward me protectively, his beautiful eyes scanning the area.
As disappointed and mad at him I was, I would never stop referring to those eyes as beautiful. They struck me every time they looked on me, causing butterflies to erupt. It also helped that his eyelashes were long and coal-black, the envy of every woman.
Again, I did the whole exaggerated throat clearing.
“Are you well?”
I tried for nonchalance as I turned to him, my eyes widening. “Me? Yes, I’m great. Why, do you have something to say?”
The corner of his mouth tilted up, and he resumed his vigilance. “Not at all, my love.”
I wanted to stomp my foot. Damn him. “Don’t call me that,” I gritted out.
He gave me another side look with a half-grin, and I positively melted. With a growl, I quickened my pace.
“You know you will arrive quickly if we run.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to call attention to myself.”
He hummed. “I suppose you are correct. It would be easier if we were under the dark of night.”
It was funny the way he phrased some sentences. I rubbed my mouth to hide my smile. Nearing the bus stop, we arrived just in time to board. I fell to the back of the line. My lips twitched at Roark’s confused expression. The closer we got to the threshold of the bus, the more his nose wrinkled, and I was about to laugh at him until the smell hit me.
It was exhaust, sweat, and…. anxiety? I guessed that’s what that smelled like. They were all intermingled in a concoction of stank. I stopped breathing from my nose.
When it was finally our turn, we went up the metal steps up to the bus driver, who intoned, “Dollar per person.”
I reached for my pockets without thinking. They were obviously empty. Shit. As I prepared to beg the driver to let us on, Roark’s hand slid forward and slapped down a bill. The driver stared at the hundred, confused.
Roark pushed me forward, and I called back, “Keep the change.”
I barely heard the driver’s “For real?” as we went deeper into the bus. I looked for seats, and regrettably, the back ones were taken, so I went toward the lone middle seat and pointed at the one across from it, motioning Roark to sit.
He didn’t seem too happy about it but dropped down elegantly. I nodded shortly and then went about ignoring him. It wasn’t until the bus had taken off that the pretty, pale girl next to him started talking.
“I’ve never seen eyes like yours.” I flicked my eyes over to her. She was wearing a pretty flowing dress, and her face was angled up at him, appreciation plastered on her face. She was cute little thing and I wanted to gouge out her eyes. “Are they contacts?”
I couldn’t help but be grateful that he didn’t turn to look at her. His gaze remained on me, and he nodded stiffly, grunting. I wanted to throw daggers at the girl for daring to speak to him, but I had to admit I was charmed by his awkwardness.
Instead of turning away, she continued staring up at him, and this smell invaded my senses. It was sweet and coiling. I wrinkled my nose, and it wasn’t until the girl readjusted her seating position that I realized what it was. She was turned on.
Something primal in me rose, and I clutched the seat under me, gritting my teeth. When I watched her hand reach out and touch Roark’s arm, it felt like I was about to lose it, so I squeezed the plastic under me. I heard the crack of the seat and loosened my hold. Shutting my eyes, I attempted to breathe. My heart rate galloped in my chest, and I swallowed with a rough inhale.
Hands grasped my waist, and I jumped at the touch. I was easily lifted, which was no small feat, and brought down on a hard surface. My spine straightened, and the shock distracted me from the whirling possessiveness eating at my stomach. I was about to rant at Roark for daring to plop me on his lap, but he ran his hands down the sides of my body, and my jealousy receded. Gradually, his touch made me slump.
I noticed the girl watching us, and when she saw me looking, she pursed her lips and turned away, her eyebrows up.
“It will get worse when you become full Fae. Your instincts would have caused you to attack her. Good news is I will be dead by then, so you will not have to worry,” His breath ruffled my hair and sent a shiver down my body. Dead? He would not die—then it clicked. Sabine’s death would bring his because of that connection she forced between them.
My chest constricted, and he squeezed me, cutting off my freak-out. The bus shook to a stop, and my head shot up—our stop. I pushed off him and scurried off the bus, feeling like I was running from something.
I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I didn’t want to react that way. The desperation at his declaration choked me. Climbing down the steps, I took off at a brisk pace in the direction of the apartment. I didn’t know what to make of the scene on the bus. It was too weird. I had smelled her arousal. Screw that, when Roark had run his hands down my body, I scented my own.
A niggling thought wouldn’t leave me.
“When we first met—” I halted but didn’t turn to look at him, unable to find the words. I wanted to ask him if he smelled me. If he had known I was attracted to him.
Without needing me to embarrass myself even more, he nodded slowly. I wanted to slap myself. No wonder he’d always looked taken off guard when he touched me. It was because I’d thrown all sorts of horny signs. From the beginning, he’d known how attracted I was to him. Known how quickly he got me going.
Flustered, I threw my hands up and cut through the grass, practically running the final steps to the door. I banged on it, focused to hear what was on the other side as the door swung open.
“Why didn’t you answer my text? Jeff told me you were swooped away by some psycho. I barely managed to convince him not to call the police because I figured it was Rian,” Annie yelled.
I shushed her and strode in. She was about to close the door right behind me, but Roark shrugged through. The light filtering through the window illuminated him. Annie’s mouth popped open, and she cleared her throat. I wanted to smack the look off her face, but then she snapped her mouth closed.
“He’s not Rian.” She took a step back from Roark and narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “Damn, sis, do you have a whole harem of hotties?”
I rolled my eyes. “Ha, ha, so funny,” I muttered and stepped into the apartment. I headed toward the spare room Jeff used to use as a gym. “I need to borrow some clothes, and you need to pack. We have to get going.”
All I heard from her was a groan and an exasperated “Not again.”
20
I was almost to the spare room which now served as Annie’s bedroom when hands corded around my arms, stopping me in my tracks. Jeff turned me and squeezed me tight to a familiar bare chest. “You had me so worried. I didn’t know where the hell you’d gone.”
“I’m fine,” I squeaked, but before I finished my sentence, I was ripped away.
Disoriented, I blinked and made out Roark’s back squished against my face as he pinned me against the wall. Feeling like a pancake, I got on my tiptoes to look over Roark’s shoulder. Jeff was sprawled on his back, s
taring up in shock.
“Roark, what’s your problem?” I chastised and elbowed my way around him. My face twisted apologetically. “You guys didn’t meet properly yesterday. Jeff, Roark. Roark, Jeff,” I nervously introduced them, then turned to my sister, who watched on with wide eyes. “Can you get me clothes?” I prompted again. She opened her mouth, but the words didn’t come from her mouth. My patience wore thin as she gaped at me like a fish.
“I boxed your stuff. They’re in the hall closet.” Jeff got to his feet. “What the hell are you?” he muttered to Roark, eyeing him. When Roark glared in answer, Jeff turned to me, expression tense. “What is he?”
I knew he was referencing the fact that Roark had torn a door off the car and then disappeared with me in his arms. But telling him about this new world was out of the question.
“Uh, Roark’s a… bodybuilder,” I threw out, knowing it sounded ridiculous. I turned away from the skeptical expression and headed to the hall closet. Boxes were stacked in an orderly manner, each one with my name scrawled on the side in Jeff’s familiar writing. That had been one aspect of Jeff that I’d loved. He was so neat when he tried.
Memories rushed to the forefront and sent a pang of nostalgia through me. Jeff had been a friend, and I’d trusted him with my whole being. That’s what had stung so severely about his betrayal, mainly since we used to tell each other everything.
Pulling one of the boxes down that said clothing, I started rummaging and paused when I grasped the soft texture of one of my favorite shirts. I brought out the dark material and stopped myself before I hugged the familiar shirt. It made me feel… human. The cotton was soft and yet coarse with wear.
Anxious to feel it against my skin, I shrugged my leather jacket off and pulled up the bottom of my borrowed shirt. A menacing growl erupted from Roark. I froze and remembered that people surrounded me.
This scent I’d caught in passing infused the room, a crisp, woodsy fragrance. I focused on Roark and noticed his dilated eyes as his gaze raked over my exposed skin. With a jolt, I realized what I sensed was Roark’s arousal.
Shock ran through me, and the thought sent my libido into overdrive as my eyes traced his body with a mind of their own. My arousal mixed with his as the fantasy of us together sprung to my brain. Another smell joined, jolting me out of my lustful haze. I tilted my head and saw Jeff’s eyes arrested on me. My eyebrows flew up, and I sensed Roark ready to pounce.
What was wrong with me?
I’d just been about to strip because I wanted to feel the shirt against my skin. It was a reaction without thought. Like giving in to a desire. Another Fae thing.
I shoved my shirt down and barked, “Everyone to the living room. I’m going to take a shower.”
Jeff turned on his heel and left, my smirking sister right behind him. Roark was the last to go as he sent me a lingering glance. I shook my head, trying to regulate my breathing as I strode to the familiar bathroom with fresh clothing and an old pair of Vans clutched to my chest.
Another pang hit me, but I buried it as I showered with Fae speed and finished dressing. I slid on my favorite leggings and t-shirt. It fit a little looser on my waist than it used to, and I stared down at it, disgruntled.
A plume of steam puffed out of the room when I left the bathroom. I tugged on my leather jacket and joined the others awkwardly sitting around in the living room.
“What’s up with you? Do you tend to walk around my sister shirtless?” I said with more bite than I intended.
“No, I heard your voice and came out. What have you gotten yourself into, Raelena? Is it the mafia?” Jeff flicked a look at Roark, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
I wanted to roll my eyes at him but knew he was coming from a good place. “Don’t worry about it, Jeff. I highly suggest you forget about anything you saw and stay out of this house for the rest of the week. What did you do about your car?”
He seemed stunned by my direct words and shook his head. “No—nothing. I just put the claim in with my insurance. I hadn’t known what you were involved with, and Annie stopped me from calling the cops.” He shot Roark a suspicious look.
I smiled at him, relieved. “Thank you. I’m leaving for a while. I’m in a… witness protection program. I just came to get Annie, who should be packing, by the way.”
“What! No way,” she said, jumping to her feet.
“Annie, please—”
“No, Rae, I’m finally building a life here. I don—”
“Do you remember those people I told you about?” I asked sharply. She froze and pursed her lips. “Well, there are more after me. Please, do as I ask.”
It must have been the begging edge to my words because she nodded stiffly and drug her feet to her room to collect her things. I hated taking her away from her life. I hated it more than anything because I knew exactly how it felt, but I wouldn’t take the risk.
“Do you have to go?” Jeff was closer than he had been by the sound of his voice.
I looked down with a frown but slowly nodded. “Could you take care of the rest of her stuff?”
“Of course, Rae. When will you be back?” he asked. I shrugged noncommittedly, guilt tightening my chest. He slumped in the seat, defeated. “This is all my fault.”
My head snapped up to look at him. “What?” What kind of crap was he going on about now?
“If I hadn’t cheated, if I hadn’t chased you off…” He hung his head.
“What?”
Sure, there was some truth to the words. I wouldn’t have run off half-cocked, but at the same time, I was a target. Sabine would have found me eventually. I guess I was glad Jeff hadn’t been with me. I couldn’t imagine him getting injured because of me.
“Jeff,” I finally said and paused. I hated seeing him so down. I wasn’t sure why, but I let my antagonism go. “I forgive you. You were always my best friend. Thank you for helping me so much.”
He shook his head, and he looked like he was about to argue, so I kept talking. “Anyway, that’s not the worst that’s been done to me.” I couldn’t help but look at Roark, who flinched. I quickly looked away from his wounded expression. “But could you do one more thing for me? Can you stay away from here the rest of the week and not telling anyone about what you’ve seen?”
He seemed to be struggling, but with a rub to his forehead, he finally nodded. Jeff looked at our audience of one and stood. He reached out to me but stopped as soon as he noticed Roark tense. “Do you think… that we could ever… get to where we were before I was stupid?”
It took a second for me to grasp what he was saying. His eyes peered into mine, sad. I struggled to find words and finally stuttered out, “I don’t know.”
If I hadn’t been taken so off guard, I would have said a definite no. Alas, that wasn’t what happened, but I got the sense he understood that was what I meant.
Roark tensed to lunge, and I stepped between them just in time. Thankfully, Annie came out.
“All done,” she mumbled, a backpack slung over her shoulder. That snapped everyone out of the tense situation.
“All right, let’s go.” I shoved Roark out of the door, his menacing gaze still fixed on Jeff. “Remember, you have to leave,” I said to Jeff and didn’t spare him another glance. We left the building.
“So where to?”
“We’re going to a hotel.”
“Mine,” Roark barked, obviously in a bad mood.
I opened my mouth about to argue and snapped it shut. Why not? It wasn’t like I had any money, and I would hate to make Annie pay.
“Yeah, where the grumpy ass is staying.”
“My car’s over there,” Annie said, jiggling the keys.
I piled in the passenger seat of an old Jetta. Now I understood why that guy had been so excited to sell the car to Rian. This pile was barely worth one thousand. Roark grunted as he folded his tall body in the back seat. I pursed my lips to hold in my laugh when I noticed his uncomfortable position. His knee
s were drawn up to his chest, and his expression turned mulish. Grinning, I pulled the seat lever to make myself more comfortable.
21
We’d only been at the hotel for seconds before Roark told me he was leaving.
“Where are you going?” Shame coursed through me at the desperate edge to my voice.
“To find Rian.”
My mouth formed into an O at Rian’s name. I’d completely forgotten about him. I hoped he hadn’t spent time running around, searching for me.
“Check the girls’ apartment. Be careful.” The last part came out of my mouth without consent. My face flushed, and I quickly tried to save face. “Make sure you’re, uh, not being followed.”
He reached to the small of his back, pushing the dark coat out of the way, and pushed something into my hands. “I’ve been meaning to give it to you for protection. It’s iron, so be careful.” Roark must really be worried Sabine was after me if he was giving me iron.
I studied the glinting copper handle of the sleek dagger in my hand. Since Gracelyn had begun training me, I’d fallen in love with the weapon. I’d wanted one of my own, but since what we’d been doing was on the down-low, I hadn’t been able to. My heart stuttered and I tried to force my gratitude from my throat, but before I could, the door clicked shut.
I was conflicted. Soon, I wouldn’t have to deal with Roark, and the intensity between us needed to be shoved out of my life, in whatever shape it may come. Out of sight, out of mind type of situation. But damn if the thought of that didn’t twist my heart.
I knew I still had to address that little meltdown I’d had. If only to tell Roark that whatever my drinks were laced with had made me emotionally weak.
My cheeks puffed out with my sigh as I glanced over at my sister. Her hand was pressed against the large window that overlooked the city. Guilt flooded my chest at the longing plastered on her face. I knew what she felt because it was the feeling that had pulsed through me every second since Luz saved my life. Pressure and duty made it impossible for me to have a normal life, though.