by Amy Cecil
Ice says, "Emma, this is Tiny and Honey. Tiny will go back to your place with you to get your things. Just the necessities, please; we don't have room for your whole fucking bathroom." He pauses and adds, "Once you get back, Honey will get you set up in one of the rooms upstairs." He then looks at me and says, "The room next to mine will do."
I nod as my heart slowly begins to break. In the three years that I have been with the MC, nobody has ever used the room next to his. Why now?
As if my heart wasn't already breaking, Ice adds, "Boys, spread the word: Emma is off-limits!" I stand there, unable to move. I don't understand what's happening. Ice bellows, "Tiny, get moving." I jump and quickly scurry from the room.
A few minutes later, I see her and Tiny leave Ice's office and subsequently the clubhouse. Hawk walks up to the bar. "What's going on?" I ask.
"Haven't gotten all the details yet, but it looks like this Emma chick is gonna be a guest here for a while."
"Yeah, it does."
"What's the matter, Honey girl? Jealous?" he asks sarcastically.
The tone in his voice makes me feel uneasy and defensive. I say, "No, of course not. Just curious." I pause and then add, "By the way, who's Caden?"
He busts out laughing and suddenly I'm embarrassed because I feel like I should know. "It's Ice. His name is Caden Jackson."
"Oh. I didn't know." My heart sinks even further. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. Before I say anything else, I decide that I need to talk to Ice.
I wait a few minutes and then proceed to his office. His door is open so I just walk in and stand there waiting for him. His brow is furrowed and he looks agitated. I'm worried about him. After a few seconds, he looks up and sees me standing there. He looks annoyed.
"Ice, are you ok?" I ask timidly. I want to know who this Emma girl is. I want to know what her being here means for me. He always said that I could always call this place home, but now I'm not so sure. I feel threatened and I don't like it. All of these questions fill my head, but I'm too afraid to ask any of them.
He smiles and says, "Yeah, I'm ok. This business with Emma just has me on edge, that's all." I want more, I need to know more, but he's not volunteering anything. Then he says, "When Emma gets back, I'm counting on you to make her feel welcome. She isn't familiar with our lifestyle and has many misconceptions about us. You need to help her understand. Are we clear?"
"Yes, Ice, I understand," I reply and inside the knife that stabbed me when she got here has now turned inside my chest, its ragged edges shredding what's left of my heart. Ask him! my subconscious screams.
But I can't. Instead, I ask, "Just so I am clear, you want me to set Emma up in the room next to yours?"
He looks annoyed again and I'm afraid that I have just overstepped my boundaries. "Yes, you are correct." And then he basically dismisses me, saying, "If you would go now and get things ready, I would appreciate it."
I leave his office as he asked and it takes everything in me to keep a brave face on. The tears want to fall, but I will not let them. They can wait until I am alone, in my room. The rest of the members start coming into the clubhouse and head straight for the chapel. Ice must have called a meeting.
When Emma and Tiny arrive back at the clubhouse, Tiny takes her on a tour while I watch her. Who is she to Ice? I can't believe how jealous I am right now and I don't even know her. I have no idea what she means to him, but it must be something special, because he's turning this fucking club upside-down for her.
When Tiny takes her up the back steps, I can't take anymore. I run from the common area and go straight to my room. The tears start busting through just as I get to my door. I throw myself on the bed and begin to cry uncontrollably.
After several hours go by, I decide that I need to pull myself together and go back downstairs. I need to get dinner ready. I make my way down and when I get to the bar I see Rebel and Tiny sitting at the bar. I go behind the bar and ask, "Refill?"
Rebel slides his glass forward and says, "Sure thing, Honey. Thanks." Just then Ice comes walking in. I didn't even know he’d left. He comes up to the bar and asks Tiny, "Emma all settled in?"
"Yes sir," he replies. "I even carried her bag in for her, so I assume she is upstairs unpacking her things."
"Good, thanks. There are a few bags in the Jeep, please bring them in and put them in my room." He then turns to me and says, "Pour one for me? I sure could use one."
Tiny gets up and heads out to get the bags that Ice mentioned while I pour Ice his drink. He looks over at Rebel with his shot in hand and says, "Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of the soul." He downs the shot while Rebel looks at him curiously.
"What?" Rebel asks. "Where do you come up with that shit? Drink being a feast and flowing into the soul … what the fuck does that mean?"
"Hey, don't knock Alexander Pope!"
"Who the fuck is Alexander Pope?" Rebel asks, laughing at him.
Ice shakes his head and says, "Never mind. I don't have the time or the patience to explain it to you. I'm going to check on Emma." Rebel continues to laugh as Ice leaves.
"What's for dinner, Honey?" Rebel asks me.
"I have no idea," I reply, "But I'm sure I'll come up with something. Which reminds me, I need to get to it." I leave the bar and head for the kitchen.
I look at the clock, which reads 1:30. Good. That's plenty of time to get a roast in the oven. Some of the old ladies are coming tonight, so I want to make something a little more special than normal. I get it prepared and in fifteen minutes, it's in the oven. I whip up some mashed potatoes, some broccoli, and a salad.
When dinner is ready, all the boys and the old ladies come in and sit at the big table. I absolutely love these family dinners. We're all seated, getting our food when in walks miss prissy pants wearing a tight pair of skinny jeans and black halter top. And the freaking bitch has heels on. What the hell? She looks amazing.
I watch her as she stands in the doorway as if she's waiting for a formal invite. It's so obvious that she doesn't fit in with us. We're what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of people; we’re all down to earth and we definitely do not put on airs. She is the exact opposite. She will never fit in. I think about making a good show by inviting her in, but Ice beats me to it.
"Emma, come have some dinner," he says as he gestures at the empty seat next to him. She walks in and hesitates. He shakes his head and says, "Darl'n', it's ok, please sit. If you wait any longer there won't be any food left." She sits down and I almost choke on my food when I notice the way we are seated. Ice is in the middle and the two women that love him are seated on each side. It's a fucking triangle. I happen to glance at Hawk and he smirks. He sees it, and I'm sure everyone else at the table does too. Ice fills up her plate with more food than she can possibly eat and then says, "Eat up. The roast is really good."
I watch her curiously as she takes her first bit. She smiles and then says, "This meal is amazing!"
Before anyone can say anything, I make it quite clear who made the meal by responding to her statement, "Thank you."
Ice looks over to me and I realize that it is the first time that he has really acknowledged me since Emma came here. Every other time, he was telling me to do something or brushing me off. He gives me that sexy smile and says, "You've outdone yourself tonight."
I can feel the blush rise in my cheeks and can't help but smile back. In that one look, he just briefly banished all my insecurities. I nudge his shoulder teasingly and say, “Thanks, Ice. I aim to please; you know that." I look up at Emma and see that she actually looks ill. Oh yeah, she's definitely in love with him. She begins to pick at her food and suddenly I feel very triumphant.
After dinner, some of the guys remain seated around the table talking, while others disperse to the common area. Emma gets up and proceeds to excuse herself. I was fully expecting Ice to remain with the guys like he always does, but I'm shocked when he too gets up and says, “I think I'll join you." She smiles at him and
I want to reach across the table and scratch her eyes out. She then looks directly at me as if to say, "checkmate." Fucking bitch!
I watch as they walk out of the kitchen. When Ice tenderly places his hand at the small of her back, my heart drops. In that instant, I know I've lost him.
Emma finally went to bed. Ice, Hawk, and Rebel are meeting in Ice's office. I want to see if they need anything, but I know the rules: stay out of club business unless you’re asked to be involved. Several hours go by and finally, Rebel and Hawk leave Ice's office. I really want to talk to him, so now that he's in there alone, I make my way to the door. I'm about five feet from the door when it opens and he comes out. He spots me and says awkwardly, "Goodnight, Honey." As he turns to go up the stairs, he adds, "Wonderful dinner tonight."
"Thanks, Ice," I say proudly feeling much more secure in our relationship. "Goodnight," I add, but he's already at the top of the stairs and I know he didn't even hear me. As I turn to head to my room, I hear a scream. Quickly turning back toward the staircase, I begin to rush up. Halfway up the stairs, I hear laughing. I stop and wait to see if I can hear anything. After a few seconds, I hear laughter coming from both of them. I really have lost him, if I ever had him at all. I turn and proceed back down the stairs and make my way to the other side of the building and my room.
Chapter 6
After a sleepless night, I find myself downstairs early. I'm not an early person and thoroughly enjoy my sleep, but I have so much fucking shit on my mind right now, I wonder if I will ever sleep again. The bar needs a good cleaning, so that is where I find myself this morning. It's better if I keep myself busy; somehow it doesn't hurt so badly. Aw, fuck, who am I trying to kid, it hurts like hell. Sometimes, I wish it had just been a fuck and dump with Ice. It would have been so much easier in the long run.
Just as I'm wiping down the bar counter and trying not to show all the fucked up emotions I am feeling, Emma comes down the back stairs. Fuck! Just my luck. The last thing I want to deal with this morning is her, especially alone.
"Good morning, Honey," she says shyly as she approaches the bar.
Do I intimidate her? I wonder. I reply shortly, "Morning." I then continue to go about my work. If I show her any type of kindness right now, I won't be able to control the tears. And the last thing I want to do is be a crying mess in front of her. She will never see my hurt.
"Do you know where I could get a cup of coffee?"
"Coffee is in the kitchen. If you want cream or sugar you will have to find it; me and the boys drink our coffee black and strong." I know I'm being rude, but I want my message to be crystal clear: You are not welcome here. She nods and heads into the kitchen and I breathe a sigh of relief.
A few minutes later she comes back into the common area with her coffee in hand. Apparently the princess is not quite as helpless as she appears. She sits at the bar. Oh fuck. Please don't talk to me, I plead to myself. I can't carry on a conversation with her. I won't. Luckily, she drinks her coffee quietly and doesn't try to engage me in any conversation.
As if they could hear my plea, Tiny, Doc and Dbag come down. As soon as Tiny sees Emma, his eyes light up. Fucking traitor! I think I need to have a talk with our sweet, boy-next-door prospect. Surely he knows not to mess with Ice's girl. As soon as I think that, the realization hits home–“Ice’s girl” doesn’t refer to me anymore.
"Good morning, Miss Emma," Tiny says, then continues, "Have you met Dbag and Doc?"
"No, I haven't," she replies. She looks at the other two men and says, "Nice to meet you, I'm Emma."
So fucking polite. They both eye her up and down and smile. They don't say anything to her, just smile and walk away. After they step away I go back to cleaning up the bar.
Emma asks Tiny, "I was wondering—if you are not too busy, would you be able to take me to my apartment? I forgot to pick up my laptop and would really like to get it."
He nervously replies, "I'm not sure that's a good idea. Ice told us you were not to leave for any reason."
We all know that, Ice made it perfectly clear that she was not to leave. Even I heard him say that.
"Oh, Tiny, it's ok. I told Ice last night that I needed my laptop and he said fine. He knows that I was going to ask you to take me back to my apartment."
Tiny shrugs and says, "Well, if Ice okayed it, just let me take care of a couple of things and then we can go."
She gets up and I'm pleasantly surprised when she picks her cup up and takes it into the kitchen instead of leaving it for me to clean up. When I walk in behind her, I see her washing it. When she's done she turns, smiles at me, and leaves. Fifteen minutes later, she and Tiny leave the clubhouse.
Ice and some of the boys had an early meeting this morning, but now they have come back. They're all hanging at the bar, and of course, I am getting them their drinks. Just as I turn to give Ice his bourbon, he asks, "Have you seen Emma this morning?"
As much as I love him, I'm still pissed at him for doing this to me. It's obvious that he has cast me aside, but he hasn't even got the balls to tell me. Then he's all sickie sweet to me and it makes me want to punch him. Knowing that that's not an option, I reply with very little emotion, "She came down earlier and got some coffee. Then I saw her leave with Tiny."
Just as I expected, he looks pissed off at that news. The question is, however, is he pissed at me or at someone else? Well, fuck him if it's me. I may have to swallow my pride and accept this fucked up situation, but I sure as hell am not gonna walk around here all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"Where the fuck did they go?" he yells.
Ok, so he's not pissed at me. Wishful thinking, I guess. He is fucking clueless about anything that I am feeling.
I shrug. Fuck him. He's the president of this club, let him figure out where they went. I'm not his information person. I know I could easily tell him where they went, but he is making my life a living hell right now and watching him suffer a bit actually makes me feel a little bit better.
"Ryder, get Tiny on the phone and find out where in the hell he took her and tell him to get her back here ASAP. And so help me, tell him if anything happens to her on his watch, I'll have his head, not to mention his patch."
"You got it, Ice," Ryder says and he picks up his phone to make the call. He steps away from the bar while he talks and then a few minutes later he comes back and says, "Well boss, it seems that Emma wanted her laptop. Tiny took her back to her apartment and said he was bringing her right back."
Ice turns to Spike and says, "Back them up. I have a bad feeling about this." Spike nods and immediately gets up and leaves.
Ice is acting as if Emma is in serious danger. Could that be why he is being so cautious with her? I don't know the whole story as to why she is here, but if her life is in danger, then this is where she needs to be. Maybe I was too quick to judge her. Still, that doesn't explain the sexual tension between them. We've all felt it.
After Spike leaves, Ice is on edge. He keeps staring at the door as if he is willing them to return. He paces for a while, then sits back down and has another drink. He's drinking more than normal and I begin to worry. Finally, his phone rings and from the conversation, I'm sure it's Tiny.
"You sure as hell fucked up! What part of ‘she never leaves this clubhouse’ did you not understand?!" Ice yells into the phone. He pauses and then yells again, "Tiny, if you don't fucking get her home ASAP I swear to God you'll have a lot more things to worry about than a tail." He pauses and then says, “You better believe it won't happen again. Get the fuck home as soon as you can!" He disconnects the line and begins to pace again. I don't think I have ever seen him this like this. He's always calm and collected; he never loses his shit. But if he has to wait much longer for them to get here, he definitely will.
Ice keeps staring at the door when finally, Spike comes strutting through the door, cool as ever. It's obvious that he's pretty fucking proud of himself, knowing that he probably saved Tiny and Emma from the tail that Ice mentioned earli
er. He's followed by Tiny, who can't even look Ice in the eyes. I'm sure Ice will deal with him later, but right now, his eyes are focused on the door as Emma walks in. She looks like she has been through hell, and for a brief moment, I feel for her. I can't imagine the feeling of being followed by someone that I feared, which I’m pretty sure is what's going on.
Emma rushes toward Ice as he gets up from the barstool and moves toward her. He pulls her into a loving hug, and every bit of empathy I felt for her drains from my mind. I hate her.
"Caden," she squeals, "you are shmooshing me!" He laughs heartily, but I'm just confused. I didn't find her words funny and I can't understand why they are laughing. It must be an inside joke or something that I am not privy to.
"I can't breathe!" Emma exclaims and then I can see what's about to happen. The thing that I had hoped I'd never have to witness. The thing that I have been dreading since Emma came here. The mood in the room suddenly changes as the sexual tension between Ice and Emma burns through. The heat in their eyes as they stare at one another is all-consuming, and every one of us in the clubhouse has stopped and is now watching them. He pulls her close against his body and kisses her. It’s not a brotherly or friendly kiss. No. This is an all-consuming, passionate kiss. As I watch the man I love kiss another woman, I realize that he's never kissed me like that. He's never expressed that much passion with me. I can't take any more of this and I run from the room, straight into the kitchen.
I don't care if they see.
I can't hide my feelings any longer.
Oh God, I need a drink! Everything in me fights the urge to march back over to the bar and pour myself a shot. I make myself take another step toward my room and with every step thereafter the urge diminishes.