“How are we both here in your bathroom right now?” He held out his arms, making some people duck and get out of his way. A girl looked back to see who he was talking to, but her eyes never landed on me.
No one saw me. I was not here… But to Warwick and me, everything was real.
When I turned to peer at him again, we were back in my bathroom, his form stepping so close his clothes brushed my skin. I could feel the heat of him. A groan tried to climb out, but I gritted my teeth, shutting my eyes briefly at the sensation of his breath sliding down the back of my neck.
“Why?” My focus went on him through the mirror again.
“I don’t know that either… I just know from the moment you walked into the mess hall that morning in Halálház, you’ve screwed everything up. Like a fucking succubus… pulling all my attention, demanding it, moving me around you like a planet.” He wrapped his fingers around my throat, his bulk pushing into the back of mine, pinning me against the counter, the feel of him through his jeans pressing into me.
For a moment, we were back in the congested lane outside Miss Kitty’s, the cool breeze licking my skin and across my nipples. People stared at him, giving him a wide berth. To them, he held nothing but air, their heads shaking at the insane man as he gripped my throat harder, his other hand gliding across my stomach.
“This needs to end,” he growled into my ear, lighting every molecule in my body on fire. “I was content… I like death. Feeling nothing.”
“I don’t want this any more than you do,” I breathed, his touch and the wind speckling my skin with bumps.
Even when it seemed we were back in the bathroom, I could feel the cool outside air. It was as if we were in both places at once.
His fingers skated lower, skimming my newly waxed area. I huffed air through my nose, my hips automatically opening to him.
“Back to the clean, good girl… on the outside,” he rumbled in my ear, our eyes locking in the mirror. “You can pretend all you want, princess. Play this part until the day you die, but I know better.” He yanked me firmer against him, his thumb pushing down on my throat. “You enjoy it dirty and rough.”
My nose flared, my lids lowering in a glower, but everything else betrayed me, wetness seeping from me, the frosty air of the outside gliding between my legs as figures moved around us.
A deep noise vibrated from his chest, his lip rising. “I want nothing to do with you, Kovacs. I gave you back. It was supposed to end there. Stop thinking of me and get me the fuck out of your head.”
“You first,” I snarled. We were back in my bathroom again.
His jaw twitched, his eyes burning as if they were true flames. For someone who liked death and feeling nothing, he felt like life itself. Vigorous. Raw. Fierce. A fire that raged inside me.
His hand inched lower, my back bowing, not caring if this was right or wrong, real or not… I just wanted it. I felt so alive, so vibrant I wanted to crack out of my skin.
“Fuck. Kovacs,” he said so low I barely heard him, his fingers slipping between my folds, sinking into me.
I gasped sharply, my head tipping back into his shoulder, my lids shutting as pleasure so intense it burned lashed at my bones like whips. “Oh, gods…”
“Edesem?” A tentative voice bolted my head up and my lids apart. I spotted Maja standing in the doorway, her eyes wandering around the room before landing on me.
Alone.
Chagrin burned my face, humiliation at not only being caught but for the person I was imagining touching me. A fae. Even worse, a half-breed.
“It’s not—” My hand dropped away.
“I-I’m sorry. I heard you talking… then moaning.” A deep rose color flushed her cheeks, realizing what I was doing. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” She backed out quickly, closing the door. There were a few beats, but I heard her prancing outside the door. “It’s just… Dr. Karl called up to your room asking where you were.”
“I’ll be right there.” I scoured my face, trying to not only shove back the shame of being caught, but also the fact that I could still feel Warwick’s touch. The warmth of the sun still baked into my skin, the cool air and harsh smell of the alley still lingering around me. My imagination was not that good. I was logical, never one to color, write, or play pretend as a child. I grew up participating in strategic games and logic-based scavenger hunts. I didn’t get to practice piano as an art, but as a skill to have in my repertoire. All things Istvan thought helped Caden and me be better game pieces for him to use.
I would never come up with something this crazy. So, if it was real…? What did it mean? How was it possible?
“Brexley?” Maja tapped again.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming.” I yanked on my pants and tank and washed my face before rushing out, heading for Dr. Karl.
He would be able to tell if I’m human or not, right? The thought made me want to laugh. But after everything I had faced, the laugh became residue on my tongue.
I couldn’t be totally normal.
“Brexley!” Heading to Dr. Karl’s office, my name shrilled through the air in an excited shriek. “Oh. My. Gods!”
Twisting my head toward the voice, I saw my friend, Hanna, running for me. She wore her training outfit of cargo pants and white tank, her blonde wavy hair up in a ponytail. Her heart-shaped face was makeup-free and bursting with smiles. She was a badass, you had to be in our mostly male world, but visually she and I were night and day.
Her body slammed into mine, almost knocking me on my ass. Her arms wrapped around me, a sob erupting from her chest. She was about my height, trim from combat, but had far more curves than I did. Especially now I’d grown so thin.
“I can’t believe you are alive,” Hanna croaked,
hugging me tighter. “You’re here… you’re actually here!”
Squeezing her back, I felt my own eyes water up. As the only two girls left in our year, we had naturally grown closer, having each other’s backs. It wasn’t until now I realized how much I had missed her. I had been so consumed with Caden I didn’t appreciate my other friends as much.
“I missed you so much.” She struggled to swallow back her sobs.
“Me too.” I crushed her to me again before letting go, leaning back and looking at my friend.
“I can’t believe this.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes. “We all were sure you were dead. We had a funeral for both you and Aron.”
My head lowered, and I blinked away the surge of heartache and guilt.
“There are rumors you were in Halálház?” Her blue eyes widened.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Holy shit,” she gasped. “No one has ever made it out of there before. Is it as bad as everyone says?”
I couldn’t respond, my brain flashing with guttural screams, the sound of the whip cutting across skin, guts and blood soaking the dirt in the pit, the endless torture in the hole, the sharp smells of urine and blood.
“Hey?” Hanna touched my arm.
I forced a smile on my face. “I’m alive.”
“Is it true you saw Aron? He’s dead?”
My head snapped to the side, my chest filling with concrete.
“Oh.” She bobbed her head, understanding me without my having to say it.
A bell clanged in the distance, letting us know a new hour was upon us.
“Shit, I have to go.” She pulled me back into a quick hug. “Let’s hang out and catch up. Maybe leave the party early tomorrow.”
“Party?”
“Crap! Bakos is going to give me hell. I’ll probably be doing pushups for days.” She turned to leave. “When are you coming back to class? I so miss you… just isn’t the same without you.”
“I don’t know. Soon?” I replied, but no excitement danced in my stomach at the idea. I used to love training; it was my life. I was always the first one there and the last to leave, working harder than anyone.
“You better. I know you, of all people, wouldn’t want to miss what
Bakos is teaching us now.” Her eyes glinted with excitement. “We are learning the best techniques to cut off a fae’s head to make sure those vile monsters are dead. Especially demons; they’re the same as cockroaches.”
Bile surged up my throat, ice flushing my heart.
“Probably more than ever, you want to destroy and rip apart every fae you see. I’m sure you’ll have so many stories to tell. You could probably teach us better than Bakos how to kill them. Am I right?”
The thought of a blue-haired demon filtered into my mind. I saw Kek’s intimidating smile as she stood guarding me against the humans threatening my life. A twisted old Druid who instantly took me in. A quiet, tiny fae who stood up for me, taking my whipping to protect me. Zander, Opie, Bitzy… Warwick and even Killian.
The fae had stood with me while my own people turned against me. How could I go back to thinking they were soulless and needed to be destroyed? Before, I hadn’t even thought about it, believing what I had been told, falling in like a mindless soldier.
My throat wouldn’t open enough to speak.
“See you later?” Hanna was already jogging to the stairs leading down to the training rooms.
“Yeah.” I bobbed my head, nothing else coming out, watching her disappear.
I moved forward, heading to the clinic, but I felt itchy and restless, as if this vast place was too small for me.
“Ah, Ms. Kovacs. Finally.” Dr. Karl motioned for me to follow him when I arrived. “General Markos wants me to run every test we can. Not that I made a mistake last time.” He pushed his half-moon spectacles up his nose, indignant at the idea he might have failed. “Sit.” He motioned to the examining table. “I will make sure every test is done impeccably and we miss nothing.”
A handful of nurses joined us in the room, gloved and masked, twisting my stomach.
“Relax and lay back, Ms. Kovacs.” Karl scowled at me as he pulled up his mask; the nurses headed for me as if I were a specimen.
I was no longer a person to them.
Chapter 11
I wrapped my arms tighter around my body. My stomach rumbled, but the thought of food made me sick. Being a pincushion at Killian’s palace had been a holiday compared to the last three hours with Dr. Karl. After being poked, prodded, and examined in every way possible, I felt violated and exhausted.
I dragged my feet walking to Istvan’s office, knowing he wanted me to come as soon as the tests were done. It was well after one p.m., and the offices were quiet as most probably slipped out for some lunch. Even his secretary’s desk was empty.
“Hello?” I knocked on the open door, peering into his vacant office, then stepped inside. It was as familiar to me as my own bedroom. I had been in here many times, usually because Caden and I were caught doing something Istvan didn’t approve of. But he also would drag us in to teach us lessons about strategy and life. Istvan was tough, but now being older, I understood that some of his teachings were actually for our good. He pushed us to be more, to know more, to see more.
My hand grazed over his bookshelf behind his desk; I had read almost every book in here. The ones he felt were the most important were stacked behind him, always within reach. He even had a tattered first edition of The Art of War he bought from some antique auction from the Unified Nations. The binding was so fragile he wouldn’t let us touch it. The gold lettering peeled off, notes and odd dot marks fading among the pages and margins inside like some strange code.
Turning to go sit in the chair and wait for him, my gaze paused on the documents atop his desk. My eyes caught on a few words in the open folder, rubbing something in the back of my brain. Stepping closer, my attention flicked to the door, feeling like I was doing something wrong, before my eyes returned to the papers.
The papers were covered in handwritten notes, unfamiliar formulas, and sketches of people’s anatomy. Some of the language was in the old Russian, in the dialect before the wall between worlds fell and everything changed. People still spoke Russian, but similar to us, the Western world had invaded so often, the older dialects had mostly disappeared. Istvan had Caden and me learn this old language when most others didn’t. He wanted us to be able to speak with Ukrainian leaders and their children with ease. The more we understood them, the better we could spy on them.
Always a chess piece.
My eyebrows creased as I tried to translate the scribbled writing, taking in the date and country which no longer existed, my eyes skimming over the page, reading quickly.
Georgia, 1991
The fae live among us, walk in skins like ours, pretend they fit in. But they want to destroy us, make us their slaves, feed off us, kill us. I will not stand by. I am testing a new formula to take humans to a higher being. In Science, there will be sacrifices, but it is for the greater good.
Fellow scientists laugh and condemn us. But they are the fools. Not us. Without my studies, my experiments, humankind is doomed. Fae are stronger, crueler, soulless. They deceive and use us for food and energy. They cannot die as easily. It is up to me to save mankind from itself. To show I was right all along.
My ideas are far too advanced. I will be heading to America to work on advancing my formulation, while Dr. Novikov will stay here and continue his research into the power of fae food. As of now, no human has lived long on Earth after consuming it, but he has not given up the hope of finding the nectar of life.
I will continue in my experiments to save humans from diseases, birth defects, and weaknesses, but I also believe my formula will eventually eradicate all weaknesses in human DNA completely.
Become better than them.
Fae must be destroyed at all costs.
And I will lead the charge in creating a superior human army.
Dr. Boris Rapava
Formula? What formula?
Like the pills?
Acid coated my tongue, my eyes still running over the page, desperate to believe I had read it wrong. Misinterpreted the old language. That everything in this didn’t hint at what Killian suggested about Istvan.
“What. Are. You. Doing?”
A scream jolted inside my head as I jumped back, my attention going to the figure in the door.
Fuck.
Istvan’s jaw locked together, his gaze serrated through my body, as though he could cut me in half.
“Ist-Istvan.” I gasped, slapping my chest as if it was trying to keep my heart from leaping out.
“I asked you a question.” Fury strained his shoulders as he took a step in, his eyes still glued to me, his nose flaring.
“I-I—”
“You know you are never to go behind my desk.” He came up and slapped the folder filled with documents closed. “Nor are you allowed to read anything on my desk. Open or not. You know better, soldier. You shouldn’t even be in here without me. There are highly classified intelligence documents I must look through, which neither you nor Caden have the privilege to see because of your relationship to me.”
“Yes, sir.” I moved around his desk to the “guest” side. “I was actually just looking at the picture.” I reached for one of the frames on his desk near the file, my brain working quickly. “After what I had been through, I miss him. So much.” I touched the image, my father’s handsome face looking back at me. It was several months before he died. My father had recently come back from a long trip. Istvan, Rebeka, my “uncle” Andris, his wife, Rita, my father, and a few others had a party in the residence.
My father had returned earlier that day from a mission. He came and left all the time, but for some reason, this one really stuck in my memory.
“Apu!” I squealed, running to my father, my gangly teenage arms wrapping around him. “You’re back!”
“Kicsim!” My father’s eyes lit up, hugging me so tight. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.” I squeezed him harder, my heart feeling complete now that he had returned. Uncle Andris and my father had been gone almost three months this time, traveling to far
-off places, but they would never tell me why. “Please don’t leave again.”
Dad leaned back, cupping my face. “You’ve grown so much. So much like your mother. Smart, strong, fierce, and so special.”
I saw a sadness in my father’s eyes as he searched mine.
“What?” I swallowed nervously.
“A battle is coming.” He gripped my face tighter. “I want you to remember no matter what, if anything happens to me, Andris will protect you.”
“Dad…” I tried to wiggle away. I hated when he talked about fighting and death. We had this conversation every time he went off to battle. The unrest between humans and fae was constantly flaring up, our country never at rest.
“I’m serious, Kicsim.” Dad’s brown eyes searched mine, making my stomach twist. “Andris can find your Uncle Mykel.” I had heard very little about my real uncle as my father was cut off after he fell in love with my mother. All I knew was he was a criminal and somewhere in Prague.
“Apu, you’re scaring me.”
“Promise me,” he demanded.
“I promise.”
A sad, strange smile tugged on my father’s mouth as he kissed my forehead. “I love you so much, Brex. There’s nothing I won’t do for you. You are my entire soul.”
Little did I know then, the battle he spoke of would take his life and Uncle Andris’s as well.
That night of this photo, Caden and I had spied on them from the patio while we sipped stolen booze. I always looked at the picture with fondness, seeing my dad’s glazed eyes and happy smile, Istvan’s arm around my father’s shoulders. They looked happy for once. Lifelong friends having a good time. But now, something felt off about the photo, the memory of my father earlier that day shifting the way I looked at it. Something was not right in their expressions. In my father’s eyes.
The way he spoke to me.
Wild Lands (Savage Lands Book 2) Page 11