by D. V. EEDEN
I laugh, my hand covering my mouth as ‘All the small things’ by Blink 182 starts playing and to my surprise Miles starts singing, knowing the words off by heart. So, I join in.
We sing the song all the way through, with Miles tapping along to the beat on the steering wheel.
“Might I suggest that you stick to dancing and not singing,” Miles jokes as he winks at me. I playfully slap his leg, then he grabs and holds my hand, leaving it on his thigh. My heart leaps as my eyes travel down to watch this sort of affection and a small smile tugs my lips. “I can say the same for you,” I wink back, enjoying this type of banter between us.
I see a sign on the way to our destination that reads ‘Stonewall Beach’. It takes us forty-five minutes to get there, which flew by. He pulls up in a parking lot, which is directly in front of the beach. He opens my passenger door, holding onto my hand and pulls me out to stand. I breathe in the salty ocean air and my heart warms, remembering how much I love that smell. I really need to get down here to surf.
The moment Miles clasps his hand in mine, my heartbeat quickens, and I suddenly feel breathless. We take a stroll, hand in hand to a little seafood restaurant that is directly sitting on the beach. A waiter takes us to a private table on a balcony where we hear the waves crashing against the rocks of the restaurant. We both take our seats, and already a bottle of red wine has been put on the table. “I took the liberty to pre-order the wine. I hope you like it,” he says.
The waiter pulls the cork out, pouring us a little in a wine glass to taste and I moan in satisfaction, tasting the sweet grapes and a hint of oak from the barrel. “It is amazing.”
We are lucky to enjoy the gorgeous sunset at dinner on the balcony, the indescribable orange and crimson with flecks of gold in the sky, just like an oil painting.
“This really reminds me of home, where the sunsets in the savannah are to die for,” I whisper to Miles as I stare into the horizon in adoration.
“Well, you look stunning with the sunset reflecting in your blue eyes,” Miles compliments, as he grabs my hand from across the table, his thumb brushing against my soft skin. I briefly close my eyes, savoring this moment and my pulse races along to the hammering of my heartbeat against my chest.
After our delicious dinner, my stomach full on seafood paella, we decide to take a stroll on the beach. The sun has fallen, and the moon is resurrected in its place, the silver colour reflecting off the blue ocean and brightening the scenery. My toes sink into the golden soft sand, tickling my skin with every step I take. My arm is in Miles’ as we admire the setting, listening to the bustling of people around us and the soft waves hitting the shore.
“This is… amazing. I have needed this,” I admit, hugging Miles’s arm tighter and giving him a soft smile. Cocking his head to look at me, the slight breeze blowing through his silver blonde hair, he smiles. My heart aches with lust, my body itching to get closer to him.
Walking on the beach with a slight breeze, I have to hold my dress down to prevent it from blowing up and everyone seeing my underwear. In the corner of my eye, I notice a large bonfire on the other side of the beach, with a few girls dancing around it still in their bikinis.
“Wow, I miss having parties on the beach with my friends back home,” I mumble, Miles pulling me down to sit with him on the sand facing the ocean.
“They have a lot of parties here in the summer. They’re really fun,” he says, putting his arm around my shoulder and bringing me in closer. I can smell his spicy cologne in the breeze as it wafts past me, surrounding the air I breathe.
It smells almost like Christmas.
“Hey, do you want to do something crazy?” Miles wiggles his eyebrows at me with a cheeky grin and I am liking where this is going. “Want to go for a swim? The water is still warm at this time of year.”
“Oh, hell yeah!” I agree and we both start peeling off our clothes, until we’re left in just our underwear. I’m wearing a matching set of white lace, but because it’s dark no-one will really see, plus the girls are drunk at the bonfire so they won’t care. We both end up racing to the water and Miles is the first one to dive headfirst.
“Come on!” he hollers, cupping his hands around his mouth. He floats effortlessly in the water, the moonlight catching on his pale skin. I run further in but don’t take the leap as Miles did when diving in, and soon enough I reach him. He grabs my waist with his soft hands, pulling me towards him.
“You’re right, it’s actually pretty warm in here,” I whisper as I stare into his cosmic eyes. I snake my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his torso, feeling his hard, lean body against mine.
We swim around for a while, splashing water in each other’s faces, joking around which makes my heart feel lighter than it’s been in a long time, and being here with Miles feels right. He makes me feel comfortable, making the memory of me drowning disappear as if it never happened.
He grabs my legs, wrapping them back around his waist so that he can hold me, my hands brushing along his biceps as I snake my arms back round his neck. His eyes stare at me intensely again, but this time there seems to be a look of regret and pain.
“Are you okay?” I ask, my lips so close to his that if I let out another breath they would touch, and just the thought of us kissing sends heat from my core to the rest of my body. I’m shivering but not because I’m cold, more like desperate for him to kiss me, but I don’t want to push him and be rejected.
He doesn’t reply to my question but instead his lips crash against mine, his hand gripping the back of my neck, fingers tangling in my long hair and holding me in place while his other hand stays on my slender waist. He parts my lips with his tongue, invading my mouth and sending shivers through my spine, heat radiating from both our bodies. His tongue is so sensual, but almost apologetic. He kisses me as if this is the last time, as if he will never kiss me again.
Miles pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, both of us trying to catch our breath. “I am better now,” he whispers, hauling me up from the water and bringing me to my feet. We walk out of the water, back to our discarded clothes on the sand. I stare back at the bonfire, watching the girls now all sitting down on their towels, drinking beers, and laughing.
All of a sudden, my gaze connects to three sets of eyes, sitting on sun loungers and hiding behind the fire, the orange hue brightening the dark features on their faces. I stand there in my white soaked underwear, staring straight into the depths of hell at three demons called Blake, Charles, and Hugo. Each with a beer in their hand and girls surrounding them along the ground.
I hear another man’s voice call out from behind them, and I instantly recognize it to be Royce. He stumbles behind the sun loungers, wearing white trousers and a blue shirt with a white cardigan tied around his neck. Looking ever so posh, I must say. Before I know it, they are all staring directly in my direction and a creepy grin curls up onto Royce’s face as he leans down to whisper in Blake’s ear. I try to swallow the big lump in my throat, but it doesn’t seem to budge.
I promptly pick up my dress and slide it over my wet underwear. At this moment I don’t care; I just need to get away. Looking at the three of them has brought up the memory of me drowning and their dark, sadistic faces enjoying it. I try to catch my breath before Miles wraps his arm around my waist, leading me back to the car.
I can’t believe they have just witnessed me in my underwear, but mostly I wonder if they saw me kiss Miles in the ocean. My body fills with dread, thinking about the ways they will taunt me once we’re back at the academy.
We’re both back in the car on the way back to the academy, my soaked underwear leaving wet marks on my dress. I rest my head back on the plush, luxurious car seat and listen to the playlist I put on, my eyes daring to close in exhaustion. We don’t say a word to each other on the way back to the academy, but Miles rests his left hand on my knee, drawing small circles on my skin with his long, slender finger.
We walk hand in hand to my dorm, my o
ther hand holding the jacket he rested over my shoulders to create a barrier from the cold breeze. A true gentleman. We stand outside my door for a few moments before Miles leans his hard body into mine. He cups my chin in between his fingers, and slowly brings my lips to meet his. This time he kisses me tenderly, not like the first time where it was rough and passionate. Miles doesn’t slide his tongue in my mouth, instead just giving me a feather light kiss, leaving me wanting more.
“I had an amazing time tonight Ade,” he purrs under his breath, his eyes still closed. I cup his angelic face in my hands, trying to bring him closer, but he gives me one last kiss before taking a step back. He leans his back against the opposite wall, putting his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, staring at me with hooded eyes, waiting for me to unlock the door to my dorm.
“I had an amazing night too, thank you Miles,” I smile at him one last time before retreating into my room and closing the door on him.
I take a long shower, spraying my hot, flushed skin with cold water and smiling at myself for how giddy I feel. Miles is the first guy I have ever gotten so close to, enough to enjoy being in their company. It still baffles me as to why Blaire and Maisie warned me off him, because apparently, he’s a ‘playboy’.
Standing under the shower, I wash and scrub the salty ocean from my skin, leaving it red raw with my honeycomb bodywash. This really is my favorite scent; I’ll have to ask Blaire where we can order some more.
I text the girls in our group chat informing them of this evening’s activity, and they seemed pretty excited for me when they text back. Hopefully, they’re coming round to the idea of Miles and I as a couple because I certainly am. Getting changed into my PJ’s, I tuck myself into bed, fatigue completely taking over my body and I’m asleep instantly.
Chapter Eleven
I don’t wake up the next day until noon, sleep has completely taken over me. My phone vibrates on my nightstand, a hint that I should join the living. I check my phone. I have texts from Miles, my group chat, and – someone who normally doesn’t give a shit – my father. He usually only texts me when he wants something. Irritation fills me up, making my blood feel as though its boiling. I think I’ll read that one last.
The text from Miles instantly puts a smile on my face.
I had an amazing time last night Ade, see you soon x
I send him a quick text back, telling him how much I enjoyed last night, and I can’t help but help giggle to myself, rereading his last text. It takes me a few moments to collect myself before I read the text from my Father.
Your first elocution lesson is tomorrow at the house, be there at 9.
My response back is a simple OK, not expressing how I really feel about these shitty elocution lessons. I really don’t know why the fuck he’s trying to change me; I mean why bother flying me across the world to not even see me.
Prick.
Grabbing my pillow, I shove it into my face, screaming as loud as I can to drown out the noise. Getting up, I get change into some yoga pants and a sports bra so that I can hit the dance studio early to let out some frustration. I should have read my father’s text first and then Miles’. Maybe my mood would be better. Knowing I have to be there at nine in the morning doesn’t help either, considering I have a shift at the club tonight starting at ten which probably won’t end till after midnight.
Poking my head inside, no one seems to be in the dance studio, which I am grateful for as I like practicing on my own. I lay my towel and bottle of water on the side and connect my phone to the Bluetooth speakers that surround the room. I put on ‘Heart shaped Glasses’ by Marilyn Manson and practice my routine for the recital.
I dance for another few songs before someone rudely interrupts my rhythm and shuts the music off. “What the fuck?” My head swings around and I see the intruder.
“Oh, someone’s feisty today!” Royce steps into the room holding his hands up in surrender. “I heard music and thought it might be you,” he grins.
Picking up my towel, I wipe the sweat from my blood-red tinted face and take a swig of my water. “What do you want Royce?” I cock my hip out, resting my hand in the dip on my tiny waist.
Patiently, I stand there waiting for Royce to respond, but instead he circles me like a shark in the ocean waiting to attack his prey. The grin on his face is as sadistic as ever and I know for a fact he’s going to mention seeing me last night.
Fuck my life.
“Oh, you know, just thought I’d say hi. Can’t I be friendly?” his beautiful face changes from a smile to a deep frown. He halts in front of me, staring me down and making it obvious that he’s drawn to my cleavage.
“See something you like?”
“Oh yes very much. Especially since I saw you in that lovely white number last night,” he says, tipping his head back and roaring with laughter. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from commenting further. I turn away from Royce, taking another sip of my drink before stretching out my limbs in front of him.
You have to act like you don’t care Ade, I think to myself. My chest tightens under the pressure of his eyes and I continue to take a big gulp of water to help ease the dryness of my throat.
“You looked good.” He shrugs his shoulders, taking a step closer to me, his eyes roaming my body through the mirror in front of us. His face doesn’t hide the lustful sexual thoughts, I mean, I should be happy right? Royce fucking Huntington is checking me out, and he said I looked good!
“Well, thank you, but if that’s all?” I say.
He chuckles under his breath again before turning on his heel to leave. I notice he’s wearing the same outfit from last night, so I’m guessing they must have stayed out all night and have only just come back.
“I’ll catch you later Ade.” He winks, then leaves the room and the breath I was holding releases into the room with a whoosh. I end up sitting on the floor, exhausted from my routine, but also the fact that my heart is racing ten times faster than it should be.
How is it all these boys make me feel more worn out, and set my heart rate higher than when I dance for hours? I guess it doesn’t help that they are the most gorgeous men I have ever seen in my life. It should be a crime to be that beautiful.
I bet Royce isn’t aware that I’ve met his father at that awful dinner party the other weekend. I wonder how he would react knowing I shared the same table and ate next to him. Just the thought tickles me.
After my little outburst in the dance studio, I go to the dining hall to get some breakfast in me. Dancing on an empty stomach is really not a good idea. On my way up there, I walk past the wooden door to the tunnel, noticing it’s open again. It’s been closed all week. It clicks in my head that the door is usually only open on the weekends, so possibly the staff use it.
I am going to find out why it leads to Club Envy.
Shaking off my Nancy Drew thoughts, I continue on my merry way to the dining hall. I walk past the Royal’s table with three of them and Ruby sitting there, which is also unusual considering it’s the weekend and they normally go home. I suppose due to last night’s antics, they probably wanted to stay and party. I take a seat, looking at the menu but my gaze bounces around the room, self-conscious to the fact that everyone’s eyes are on me. My mind starts to cloud with darkness, as I feel the way people judge me from across the room and it doesn’t help that I am vulnerable and alone with the Royals present. My mind repeats a mantra of counting down from ten. Beads of sweat form in my hairline as I stare down at the menu. Eating alone has always proven difficult, and now that my safe wall of Maisie and Blaire are not present to shield me from prying eyes, I feel the pressure more than ever. I take in deep breaths, calming the beats of my heart and my quickened pulse, but all that runs through my mind is that the prying eyes are laughing at me. Laughing at how I look or my eating habits. These eyes stare at me with disgust and I know what they all think.
Ade is fat, she shouldn’t eat.
Ade needs to lose weight
But in reality, these people around me aren’t even concerned about how I eat, or what I eat. When you suffer with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, it’s hard to get rid of these demons that haunt our minds on a daily basis.
Soon after my mental argument with myself, I order some boiled eggs and fruit to provide some protein and energy, which should hold me up until lunch. I only plan on studying this afternoon, so I am sure I won’t work up such an appetite. Knowing that the demon eyes are all watching me, I pull out my phone and browse through my social media. The only two friends I have added on any platform are Blaire and Maisie, and I intend to keep it that way.
I check Facebook messages and see that my best friend from back home has posted some of my belongings which I was unable to bring on my travels. Knowing what is in the package puts an instant smile on my face and I can’t contain my excitement any longer. I send her a quick message back thanking her and telling her I miss her.
Finally, my breakfast arrives at the table, but something more unwelcoming decides to ruin my morning— the four dickheads, who’s heads are so stuck up their own asses I’m surprised they don’t eat their own shit.
Blake takes a seat directly in front of me, while the other three fan out around me taking the other available seats. Blake is dressed in his hockey uniform, looking beautiful and rugged with his chestnut brown hair, tousled with how many times he rakes his hand through it. Hugo looks immaculate, his raven dark hair perfectly tailored to a high part fade showing the tattoo just above his ear. He’s wearing a black tight-fitting t-shirt and black joggers and I think he’s been working out, but my god does he look devilishly handsome. I could eat him for breakfast. I want to look at him in appreciation but hold myself back, not wanting to attract their wrath.
Charles’s shaggy hair falls into his eyes as he looks down on his phone, wearing grey shorts and a matching grey t-shirt that shows off his lean muscles. He’s really got the preppy but surfer dude look going on, and I love it.