by Vi Carter
A second wave of disbelief rolls through my brothers. No one asks me if I’m serious, but start to move.
Connor still lingers around Matt. I take out my gun knowing if he didn’t move, I would put a bullet in him too.
A gun is fired close to my face, the noise assaulting my ears. Connor curses as Matt’s dead body hits the ground. I turn to Shane while touching my ear. He lowers his gun.
“That’s for Siobhan,” he says.
Finn doesn’t thank him or respond as he walks away. Connor follows Darragh and Finn out of the yard, and Shane stays with me. I can’t stop touching my ear. I expect the tips of my fingers to come away with blood on them, but they don’t. My car with its shattered window screen comes into view. Shane reaches it first and gets into the driver side. I don’t argue as I climb into the car.
I try to fix the bandage back over my stab wound that still seeps blood. “We need to get you seen to.”
I glance at Shane, who’s focused on the road now.
“Go straight to the house.”
“Liam, you need to get stitches,” Shane growls.
“Your concern is touching Shane, but do as I say.” I stare out the window with no clue of how I feel. Everything had gone according to plan. Svetlana was free, our family was free from the RA. There was no hit hanging over Shane’s head. With Mike Gordon the new superintendent on our side, the Gardaí couldn’t touch us. All my brothers were alive. I had gotten everything I wanted, so why did I not feel a sense of victory.
“You would never freeze.” Shane’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I glance at him only for our eyes to clash, his aren’t angry but filled with confusion.
“I did, Shane,” I speak softly and I know how hard it is to believe. “She loved us all so much. She made me feel normal.” I glance out the window. “With her I wasn’t looking through a window, I was in the room.”
“What are you talking about?” Shane questions me.
I clear my throat. “Nothing. It’s just... I thought he would stop.”
Silence fills the car; the drive is long as Shane takes it slow. With only half a window screen left, the wind is strong on us.
I’m glad when Stephen waves us in. I’m surprised to see another car here, but we needed to talk about father.
Shane turns off the ignition but doesn’t get out.
“No matter what you decide in here, you have my support.”
Shane had always been so loyal; I turn to him now, wanting him to see how grateful I was. Going in here and knowing that I had three brothers that hated me was hard. I couldn’t completely close myself off to that no matter how much I wanted to.
“Thank you, Shane.”
He nods and gets out.
Connor, Darragh and Finn are in the dining room all seated and waiting. I walk to the top of the table and pull out my father's chair. I’m surprised that Connor is here. A part of me feels tired, but I know that I need to close this chapter on our lives.
Once I’m seated and Shane sits to my right, I look at each brother. “I’ve made some bad choices,” Darragh snorts and I ignore him. “Ones I’m not proud of.” I think of John and regret swamps me. “At the time I felt they were the best to keep our family safe.” Darragh’s shaking his head but he’s still listening, still seated.
“I didn’t think he would kill her, I thought he would stop. I froze and it’s something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.” I let the truth sink in to everyone, even myself. I would never forgive myself for the loss of our mother. “She was the best of us all.” I have to look away from a table filled with lost boys, who tried to cope with the death of their mother by using pain and more pain. Ultimately, it just led to pain. A full circle that we needed to sever here.
“I wanted to kill him. But, I wasn’t going to take our father from us, when we had just buried our mother, so I made up the whole story about the drive by shooting.” No one stirs. Finn stares fiercely at me.
“So I told him he had to bury the truth and be a father.”
“You think he was a father to us?” Finn’s lip trembles and I hate how boyish he looks now.
“Yes, I do.”
More silence.
“If any of us had been in Liam’s shoes, what would we have done?” Shane asks.
“I would have killed him.” Connor speaks bluntly.
“Maybe, or maybe us having no parents would have done far more damage than having one.” I glance at Finn. “Even a bad one.”
“My wife might be alive.” Finn’s face is red and I pray he won’t start crying.
I don’t answer him. His words are false. I froze while watching my father strangle my mother, I wish I hadn’t but I had. If I could go back, I would have stopped it. That’s all I would have done. But I can’t be held responsible for every bad thing that happened in their lives.
“Yes, or maybe Darragh wouldn’t drink so much.” I fire back and Finn nods.
I smirk. “Or maybe Shane wouldn’t have been shot, or father in a coma, or the flowers that died in the vase would still be alive.”
Finn snaps his mouth shut and glances away from me. I’m surprised to see a smirk on Darragh’s face. He always sees the funny side, no matter the situation.
“You can all fire blame around the table, but don’t hold me responsible for every mishap you have suffered.” My eyes clash with Darragh’s and he holds my stare.
“What do you suggest now?” Shane speaks up, once again I feel so grateful for his presence at the table.
“Now we decide what happens next.” In a way, this was a clean slate. All our enemies are gone. All past mistakes aired.
“We take a vote about what to do with father,” I add.
Everyone stares at me, no one says anything. Their turmoil is evident on their faces.
“He’s healthy. I had him put into a coma.”
I let that news settle around them. Finn shakes his head, Darragh looks at me with disbelief while Connor stares at his hands. I glance at Shane, he’s watching me like he’s not sure who I am, yet I see some amount of pride in his eyes.
“We need to decide if we want him woken up or not.”
“You want to kill him?” Finn’s pale face and shaky voice has my answer not leaving my lips.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“Kill him.”
We all look to Connor who now stares up. I nod. His vote has been cast. I expected him to not care.
“He is my father,” Finn barks down at Connor.
“But he’s not his, Finn,” I answer in Connor’s defense. “We all have a say.”
“This is sick.” Finn leans back in his chair, but he doesn’t leave the room.
“Let him live.” Darragh casts his vote, and I’m surprised at it. I thought he would want him dead.
I nod.
“Same as Darragh,” Finn mumbles. He doesn’t want to take part, but his vote is vital.
I nod at him.
I look at Shane. He’s playing with his thumb ring. He glances at all his brothers. “He needs to pay for taking her away.” He swallows before looking at me.
“Kill him.”
That was an even vote. The decision now rested on my shoulders. I got to pick whether he lived or died.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SVETLANA
ONE YEAR LATER
“One day, I’m going to be strong enough to do that.” I point at Ciara’s candy colored hair.
She smiles up at me, her blue eyes sparkling while she twirls a pink curl around her finger. “Your hair is fab and …” She glances at Liam now, who’s deep in conversation with Shane. No doubt plotting and planning. “I don’t think Liam would like you with pink hair. Have you seen the way he looks at me?” Ciara grins.
She isn’t afraid of Liam like most people, but she had gotten to see the good side of him. When he had helped her off the streets, and given her a job.
But she was right, I could tell that Liam thought her taste in
hair colors was a little crazy.
“He’s fond of you,” I say back, as I take a sip of lemonade. The ice rattles in the glass.
Ciara snorts. “If you had said anyone else was fond of me, I’d take it as an insult. But, it’s Liam, so it’s a compliment.”
I liked Ciara. We had grown closer since Jack arrived. She was becoming my favorite of all the girlfriends. Una and I never patched things up, but I learned to pass myself with her. I had no choice since they were having their wedding at the original O’Reagan home, where I lived. I wasn’t exactly happy to have Una prancing in and out of my home, but I bit my tongue for Liam.
The bark of a dog has me smiling now, and I laugh. Finn is on the ground, rolling around with Jan. A frisbee that Jan refuses to release has Finn tugging and pulling at the end. Grass stains are starting to appear on Finn’s white t-shirt. I’m tempted to shout at him to just let it go, he could never win against Jan but instead I continue to watch him struggle.
“How’s the girls?” Darragh wraps an arm around Ciara’s waist while greeting us both.
“Good.” Ciara smiles up at Darragh and his own signature smirk slips as he takes some of her hair in his hand. “You look hot,” he kisses her and I look away to give them some privacy.
Finn surprises me by getting the Frisbee out of Jan’s mouth. He fires it again into the air and Jan races after it. I didn’t ever think I would be standing in my back garden watching Jan happily play. I thought I would never see him again.
I glance at Liam again, as he shifts Jack into his other arm, as he speaks to Shane. He was such a good man, and that day when I had finished hanging the airplane mobile above the cot, the door had opened. Jan sat there and I had stood frozen, until Liam had stepped in behind him. He had looked so proud, knowing what he had given me. Jan was my family, he was my friend, he was mine, and Liam had gotten him for me. A lot of tears had fallen until Liam had Jan taken to his bed downstairs as not to overwhelm me.
“Stop it.” I glance now at Ciara as she swipes playfully at Darragh, who doesn’t move away from her, but takes the push to this chest and over-exaggerates the impact, by falling to the ground.
“You’re an idiot.” Ciara reaches down to help him up, her cheeks reddening as Darragh rolls away from her hand like a child. She straightens up and rolls her eyes while flicking candy hair across her shoulders. “I’m with a fool,” her smile contradicts her words. Darragh gets up and walks back to us, his focus now on me.
“We actually wanted to ask you something.”
“No, not we. Darragh wanted to ask you something,” Ciara interjects.
Darragh shrugs. “Fine, I wanted to ask you something.”
Liam’s conversation with Shane has ended and he smiles as he holds a wriggling Jack, walking towards me.
“You know he doesn’t like to be held like a baby.” I say to Liam the moment he arrives.
“He is a baby.” Liam informs me as he glances at Darragh.
Jack was only four months old, but he loved sitting up, watching the world around him, not lying back.
“He’s so cute.” Ciara leans in and taps his nose. She’s oblivious to Liam staring at her. I can see it in his stance, he wants to take Jack away from them, he’s too protective. I can’t help but smile.
“So what is it you wanted to ask me Darragh?” I say getting everyone’s attention.
Darragh diverts his attention away from Jack. He’s an amazing uncle and I can see when Jack is older, he will always go to Darragh when we won’t give him something. He will be the fun uncle.
“I wanted to take a trip to the Czech.”
“No,” Liam speaks abruptly.
“You don’t even know what he is going to ask.”
“I do and the answer is no.” Liam is quick to answer and I ignore him.
“What is it Darragh?”
Darragh doesn’t sound so enthusiastic now after Liam shot him down. “I was going to take Ciara on a holiday there and thought it would be nice if we could stay at your place.”
I can’t stop the smile. When I look at Liam, I can see the tightness around his eyes.
“Of course. I would love you guys to see where I grew up.” The house and land was all in my name, it always had been, a loophole my uncle could never get out of. But since he had me trapped in the house, the name on the papers didn’t matter to him. Now that he was dead, it was all mine. I was waiting for Jack to be a bit older before I brought him over to see where I grew up. I wanted to keep the house for this very reason so we could stay in it, some part of the year.
“You are a gem.” Darragh leans in and surprises me with a kiss on the cheek. Liam’s face is taunt and Jack has started to wriggle again in his stiff arms.
I hand Darragh my glass of water and he takes it looking somewhat confused.
“Are you coming to mama?” I ask Jack as I take him from Liam’s arms. His little smile has my heart swelling. Deep brown eyes stare up at me. He looks so much like his father.
“Roll on the fun times.” Darragh’s grinning.
“You damage anything.” Liam lets the threat hang over Darragh’s head.
Darragh isn’t grinning anymore but he still looks amused. “I’ll go easy on the bed.”
“Oh my God.” Ciara’s face grows red and I hide a smile as Darragh walks away, pulling a red faced Ciara with him.
“You know you don’t have to.” Liam stands beside me now as we look out on the lawn. More chairs have been added and I wondered when it would end.
“I know that.” I glance up at Liam to find him watching me. My stomach flips. “I want to share my home with your family.” I add and after a few intense seconds he nods.
He looks back out onto the garden.
“So how many people are coming to this wedding?” There had to be more than four hundred. The numbers just kept growing.
“I don’t know. I can tell Shane that’s enough.”
Jack starts wiggling again. I had him half sitting so he could watch everybody but he was due a feed.
“No. It’s their wedding. I better get Jack inside and feed him.”
“Maybe one day it will be our wedding here.”
My head snaps up to Liam. He’s staring at me and there is a vulnerability in his eyes.
“Was that a proposal?” My heart pounds in my chest even as I try to make light of his statement.
“No.” His one word had such power and I feel my heart sink. “When I do propose. I will do it right.”
I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips. “I love you.” I can’t stop smiling as I look into his handsome face.
“I love you too.” His words are low as he brushes a kiss across my cheek before placing a soft one on Jack’s cheek.
Jack starts to wriggle. I give Liam a final kiss on the cheek. “I better get him fed.”
I can’t help but glance back as I walk back to the house. Liam is watching us and the smile on his face lights up the space around him. I was so lucky to have him and now with Jack in my arms, my life was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for any more than what I have right now.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
LIAM
I watch Svetlana carry Jack back to the house. The swell of pride I feel has me raising my head. From the corner of my eye I can see someone approach me. I turn to meet my father’s eyes. He’s aged a lot since I last saw him.
I had the final vote and I decided the cruelest sentence would be to let him live, while all his sons knew what he did. Even now I can almost pinpoint where each brother stands as their hate for him radiates.
Justice was sweet. “What are you doing here?” I ask looking out on the lawn. He stands beside me, just like Svetlana had done only moments ago. I’m glad Jack is inside. My father had never seen him and I intended to keep it that way.
“A wedding?” I glance at him now as he places his hands in his pockets.
“I wanted to ask you if I could see my family.”
“You sound weak.” I s
ay while walking away from him, he follows as I knew he would. “They don’t want to see you. I don’t keep them away from you. It’s their choice.” His hand curls around mine stopping me in my tracks. I look at his hand until he removes it.
Shane is moving across the lawn towards us. Each step fueled with anger.
“If you told them to speak to me, they would.”
“Maybe they would. But why would I do that?”
My father laughs. “God, I reared an evil little bastard.”
“Get out.” Shane moves beside me. “You have no right to be here.”
“This is my house.” He barks at Shane.
I correct him. “When you got stabbed you signed everything over to me, remember.”
He shakes his head. “Crafty and manipulative.”
“Get out,'' I said.” Shane takes a step closer. I won’t allow it to come to blows, but he needs to understand his place now.
“You heard him.” Darragh appears behind him and he is the one I need to make sure keeps his anger in check.
Connor and Finn step up behind Darragh. father looks at all his sons before his eyes land on me.
“Why was I allowed in?”
I had informed Stephen to allow him to pass the gates if he ever arrived. “Because I wanted you to see all you lost.”
His face falls as he stares at me. He blinks and he tries to reel in his disbelief as he takes a final look at his sons.
“Go.” I give the final order and he nods understanding that this is the final time he will see us.
I stand side by stand with my brothers. After all, that’s what all this was for.
An Chlann. Family.
THE END
EPILOGUE
ELLA
The cold concrete under my hands penetrates my skin and worms its way into my veins. Small pebbles feel harsh against the sensitive area of my hands as I scramble up the steps. All I can focus on is two black wooden doors ahead of me.
Freedom, they scream.