by Robert Thier
And what good will that do, if Ella runs away with Edmund tomorrow night? Blast, blast, blast!
‘If it takes a week for him to find one,’ I said, ‘that will be too late.’
‘Hmm.’ Thoughtfully, he stroked his jaunty little triangle of beard. ‘Well, that leaves only one option, then. We'll just have to pick one out for him - immediately.’
I stared at him as if he’d spoken Chinese.
‘What do you mean, “pick one out”?’ I demanded.
‘Well,’ he said with a renewed grin and a sweeping gesture that took in the whole ballroom with all the dancing, chatting guests, ‘There are a lot of ladies available here - a great many of them with blue eyes, I’d wager. We can pick one and shove her into his way. With luck, he’ll fall in love with her on the spot and leave your sister alone. If it doesn't work, we can always try with another.’
It took me a few seconds to think of something to say.
‘Captain… are you quite sure you’re not intoxicated?’
‘Quite. If I were drunk, I would be seeing two of you, but there is only one.’ He bowed, just as snappy as before. ‘And what a lovely one it is.’
Heat rushed up into my cheeks. ‘You’re trying to make me compliments when a few minutes ago you accused me of wanting to murder someone?’
He winked. ‘Who knows, that might have been a compliment, too. For all you know, I’m the most abominable villain and murder people in their beds every night.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ I said drily. And he actually had the gall to look amused!
‘You have to be drunk!’ I pronounced. ‘Nobody could talk this much nonsense without at least some alcohol in them.’
He gave a sad little sigh. ‘I always talk like this. My aunt tried to teach me manners, but it never worked. It’s why I went into the army. In the army, you don’t have to say anything, just do what you’re told, so nobody has noticed what a colossal scoundrel I am, yet. I have hopes of keeping it up for another two or three years before I’m found out.’
‘Will you stop gibbering and listen?’
‘Yes, Miss. Certainly, Miss.’
‘Look here, you can’t be right. You simply can’t be. It’s not possible that anybody could forget my sister as easily as you say! Nobody could be that empty-headed.’
‘You’ve never looked into one of Flip’s ears, Miss Linton. I swear, you can see the light from the other side.’
‘You promised to keep your mouth shut!’
‘Oh. Yes, indeed, I did. Sorry. I tried my best.’
‘All you told me,’ I said, shaking my head, ‘is well and good, but it doesn't change the facts. Even if he hasn’t wanted to marry any of the other girls before, he does want to marry Ella. He told my aunt so.’
Captain Carter’s eyebrows went up so high they almost vanished into his curly brown locks.
‘Really? What exactly did he say?’
‘Something about needing his own little sunshine in his home…’
I broke off, because he had started laughing. He was almost bent double, and people were starting to stare.
‘Captain Carter!’ I hissed.
‘I- I’m sorry,’ he chortled. ‘It’s just… his own little sunshine… that’s so… you know…’ Slowly, he brought himself under control again - but there was still a broad grin on his face. ‘He told me about that, too, you know. That he wanted sunshine in his home.’
‘You see? I told you he wants t-’
‘He’ll build the place on the south side of his manor house, I think. Where the sunshine is most abundant. Though he might have problems, since the ground drops off rather suddenly there.’
I blinked. ‘W-what?’
‘He’s planning to build a winter garden,’ Captain Carter told me gently. ‘He’s always been heartbroken that all his lovely flowers die during the winter, and, well, he’s just hit on this idea…’
‘A… winter… garden…?’
‘Yes. You know, one of those places with big windows where plants can grow all year round? They are very much the fashion at the moment. People are building them as house-extensions all over London, and even beginning to decorate them with tables and chairs, and have their tea parties there, I’ve been told. Though, personally, I prefer to take my tea beside a crackling fire in the har-’
‘Shut up!’
‘Yes, Miss. Of course, Miss.’
‘I’m going to kill him.’ Slowly, I turned towards Sir Philip, who was still whirling across the dance floor, my sister in his arms, a ridiculous grin on his ridiculous face. ‘I’m going to drag him into a dark alley and strangle him to death!’
‘I thought I had convinced you not to do that.’
‘I’ve changed my mind. I’m not even going to bother with an alley! I’m going to murder him, right here, right now.’
Captain Carter cleared his throat. ‘I’m not sure that is such a good idea.’
I whirled on him, for the moment forgetting about Sir blasted Phillip. ‘Have you any idea what heartache this man put my sister through? What kind of tragedy he almost caused?’
‘Yes, but I’m sure he didn’t mean any of it.’
‘And that’s supposed to make it better?’
‘No. It just means that maybe he doesn't deserve to be strangled.’
‘We'll see about that!’
I turned again and started towards the dance floor, but immediately my way was blocked by a wall of black velvet with glittering gold tigers on it. I hadn’t noticed before how tall and broad-shouldered Captain Carter was. Now I did.
‘Get out of my way,’ I growled.
‘Miss Linton,’ he said softly. ‘Has it occurred to you that if you kill somebody in the middle of a crowded ballroom, you might be thrown into prison?’
‘I don't care!’
He studied my face. ‘Yes, you probably don't, at the moment. But what about your sister? I’m sure she would.’
I hesitated. He was right. Besides… I had never actually killed anybody before. I might not get it right the first time.
‘May I suggest an alternative solution?’ he said.
‘You don't mean that silly plan of yours to just select a random blonde and throw her in his way?’
‘It’s not silly.’
‘It is!’
‘It’s not. And I’ll just have to prove it to you - if only to keep you out of prison.’
Grabbing my hand, he started pulling me towards one of the raised niches that overlooked the ballroom, on the opposite side of the room from the large windows.
‘What are you doing?’ I exclaimed, as he pulled me through a throng of noble ladies, who gazed after us with interest. It was not common for a man to hold a lady’s hand at a ball, still less to pull her through the crowd.
‘Helping you,’ was his cheerful answer. ‘We need to take up a position from where we can inspect our possible recruits. Then we can discuss candidates and pick the unlucky lady whose fate it will be to save your sister’s life, love and honour.’
Before I could free myself, he had pulled me up the steps into the raised niche he had been heading towards. We could see over the heads of the guests and had a good view of the entire ballroom.
‘Now, do you see any likely blue-eyed lady?’ he prompted, sweeping his arm across the crowd.
Was he honestly asking me to look for someone I thought could replace my sister?
‘No,’ I growled, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I wasn’t going to play this ridiculous game!
Even though it might be fun? asked a little voice in the back of my head. I ignored it.
‘Not one, Miss Linton?’
‘Well…’ His smile was so coaxing, so charming… Reluctantly I pointed to one random lady. ‘There’s one over there.’
‘No,’ he decided. ‘She has brown hair. Didn’t I tell you Flip likes to fall in love with blondes? Don’t ask me why he does it, I find brunettes much more interesting.’ He winked at me! He actually had t
he nerve to wink at me! ‘But for Flip, the ladies have to be blonde.’
‘Any other requirements?’ I asked, as sourly as possible. But I was hard-pressed to keep a grin off my face. ‘Should she have a tiny waist? Or two noses, perhaps?’
‘Well, one that isn’t over eighty would probably have a greater chance of engaging his affections.’
Against my will, my lips twitched.
‘What about her?’ He pointed to another young lady.
‘She has a face like a horse.’
‘So does Flip. They should suit each other admirably.’
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, Captain Carter, ugly men are no less fond of pretty girls than others.’
‘True,’ he sighed. ‘What a shallow sex we are. Now… what about her?’
‘She looks nice enough, there is only one problem.’
‘Which is?’
‘The ring on her finger. She’s married.’
Captain Carter waved a hand, dismissively. ‘We don't need to tell Flip that. He’s short-sighted, he probably wouldn’t notice.’
‘Captain!’
‘Besides, we don't need her for long. We would only borrow her for one night. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.’
I hadn’t thought there existed a man in England who could shock me. I had been wrong.
‘Her husband might,’ I pointed out, drily.
The Captain nodded earnestly. ‘I bow to your superior knowledge of men, Miss Linton. So… on to the next one.’
‘What about her?’ I said, feeling a silly grin appear on my face. ‘The one with the perky nose and big hoop skirt?’
‘I don't think so. She looks rather like a fat woodpecker.’
‘Hmm… maybe. And the one on her left?’
‘She would be perfect,’ Captain Carter admitted. ‘Only, Flip already fell in love with her two months ago, and I’m not quite sure he has forgotten yet.’
‘You talk about falling in love as other people would about a visit to the hairdresser!’
‘Not quite. Flip has his hair cut about once every fortnight, but he usually manages to fall in and out of love once a week.’
‘Um… then maybe the most intelligent approach would be to first exclude all the ladies he has already fallen in love with once?’
‘You’re quite right!’ His face lit up. ‘How clever of you, I would never have thought of that. Well, let me think… there’s Miss Alden, Miss Cokes, Miss Howard, Lady Darwin, Lady Caroline…’
‘Lady Caroline? She’s at least seventy years old!’
‘Yes, he fell in love with the back of her head and changed his mind when she turned around.’
I squinted at him suspiciously.
‘Are you making half of this up?’
‘What do you think of me, Miss Linton,’ he said with grave propriety. ‘That I would joke when such serious matters are at stake?’
‘Yes.’
‘Marvellous. You already know me so well.’
Whipping out my fan, I gave him a sharp jab into the ribs. He flinched in a very gratifying way.
‘Be serious, Captain! My sister’s welfare is at stake here!’
Rubbing his ribs, he gave me a smile. His smile was quite charming, particularly with that perky little spot of beard at the bottom of his strong face, which made him look like a trickster out of some old northern legend.
‘For you, I shall do my best to be serious, Miss Linton. Though I can’t promise anything.’
‘Very well.’ Content, I turned to the crowd again and pointed with my fan. ‘What about her?’
*~*~**~*~*
‘Flip! There you are, my dear fellow!’
At the sound of Captain Carter’s voice, Sir Philip turned around. ‘Carter!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’ve been looking for you, to…’
His voice trailed off, as he saw who was standing beside Captain Carter.
The Captain nodded to the rather confused-looking blonde lady who was standing beside him. ‘Philip, may I introduce you to Lady Katharine Rowntree? Lady Katharine? This is the man I said you simply had to meet, Sir Philip Wilkins.’
‘But you said you wanted to show me a painting from Lady Metcalf’s collec-’ the young lady began.
‘Anyway,’ Captain Carter said hurriedly, and loudly. ‘Now we’re all introduced. Isn’t that wonderful?’
‘Wonderful is hardly the word for it,’ Sir Philip breathed. He had an expression on his face I had seen only once before - when he had first beheld Ella at Lady Metcalf’s last ball. ‘Perfect would be more appropriate. Lady Katherine, would you do me the honour of the next dance?’
‘Oh… why, certainly, Sir Philip,’ she said, blinking in astonishment. ‘But… don't you already have a partner? Your companion…’ her eyes wandered to the place where Ella was standing. Ella opened her mouth reflexively.
I was beside her in a flash, grasping her arm in iron grip.
‘She doesn't mind at all. I think she’s a bit tired.’
‘Oh. Well, if that’s the case…’
Sir Philip’s eyes hadn’t left Lady Katherine. He extended his arm, and she took it.
Ella watched as the two of them departed.
‘W-what was that?’ she asked.
‘Can’t you tell? A miracle, of course.’ Across the ballroom I could see Edmund. He was staring gloomily out of the window again. ‘And,’ I added, ‘We might just have time for another, tonight. Look over there.’
*~*~**~*~*
‘Ella.’ Edmund’s voice was hoarse. I could tell, because I was hiding behind a potted plant nearby. I was curious, all right? I had worried myself to death over this affair of Ella's. The least I wanted in exchange was to see the happy end!
The young piano tuner’s son looked around the ballroom. ‘I don't see Sir Philip anywhere.’
Ella took a step forward. Her eyes were glued to the young man opposite her.
‘No.’
‘So is it done, then?’ he asked bitterly. ‘Are you his now? He has proposed?’
Another step forward.
‘No.’
Edmund’s eyes flew open. Then his jaw muscles twitched. ‘But he will.’
Another step. They were standing in front of each other now. I thanked God that they were in a quiet corner of the room, with nobody paying attention to them. The way they were looking at each other made things all too clear for anyone who cared to look.
‘No,’ Ella whispered.
‘What do you mean, no?’ His voice was just a whisper, too - desperation, pain, with a tinge of hope.
‘It appears Sir Philip has lost interest in me. I… I cannot rightly understand it, but he was introduced to another young lady, and from one moment to the next seemed to forget I exist.’
The spark of hope in Edmund exploded into a fiery blaze. I could see it shining in his eyes.
‘He is a fool,’ he said in a quiet voice.
It was he who took the next step forward. They were standing almost close enough to kiss now.
But they wouldn’t, here in the ballroom, would they?
Would they?
To keep myself from screaming a warning to the two lovelorn fools, I bit down on the sleeve of my dress.
‘So, Miss Linton, it appears that you are still free.’ Edmund’s voice was casual, but his eyes weren’t leaving hers for a moment.
‘It appears so, Mr Conway.’ Her eyes seemed fixed on his by the same unbreakable force.
‘And will remain so? Or will Sir Philip appear at your door tomorrow morning, begging forgiveness?’
‘Do not ask me how… but I know in my heart that he is gone. He will trouble me no more.’
Edmund took a deep breath.
‘And don't you regret his leaving? Haven’t all the flowers that he sent you conquered your heart?’
‘If he were to send me a million red roses it would not gain him my love.’
I nodded approvingly. My sister might have very strange ideas about love, life and honour, but at least she
wasn’t mercenary. Never that.
‘And his noble titles, his lands?’ Edmund enquired. ‘Are you not sorry to lose such grand prospects?’
‘Were he the King of England and offered me all the riches of the Empire, I would not be swayed.’
Quite right! Oh, that’s female rectitude for you!
‘So you are truly still free,’ Edmund breathed.
‘I am,’ she said, then, lowering her voice so only he - and I, behind the nearby potted plant - could hear: ‘But my heart is not. It was given to another long ago.’
Love, adoration, yearning, relief: A symphony of emotions played on Edmund’s face - or maybe it was a sonata, considering he was a piano tuner’s son.
‘Then,’ he said, his voice trembling in vibrato, full of feeling, ‘since you are still free, may I request the honour of your hand for the next dance, Miss Linton?’
She dipped her head in the chastest curtsy I had ever seen. ‘You may, Mr Conway. I shall await you on the dance floor.’
And with that, she glided away.
May I say that, up to this moment, I had never looked forward to a dance as I did to this one? Which says something about my attitude to dancing, considering I wasn’t even going to be involved in the actual exercise.
When, finally, one song ended and the musicians struck up the tune of the next dance, I stuck a bit more of my dress into my mouth, just to be sure I wouldn’t make any noise and alert them to my secret hiding place.
There he was! Edmund was approaching Ella while in the background, the notes of a slow waltz sounded. The most romantic of all couple dances - I couldn’t have planned it better myself.
He stopped in front of her and bowed.
‘Miss Ella?’
She curtsied.
‘Mr Conway.’
He extended his arm. She took it, her face composed, but her eyes shining with an inner light. I didn’t fail to notice that instead of placing her hand against his so his fingers touched the back of her hand, as was custom for reasons of propriety, she slid her hand into his so that his fingers could surround all of her little hand and touch her palm. When her hand was in his, I could see a small shiver going through her body. It was as if she had finally come home.
He led her onto the dance floor to a place between the other couples. Most of them stood there, awkward, fidgeting, not knowing where to look. Edmund and Ella knew exactly where to look, and it wasn’t at their feet. They stared at each other’s faces as if beholding an angel from heaven. I had slight worries that they might trip during the first turn, considering how they couldn’t take their eyes off each other - but somehow, they managed not to.