“Mom, I told you it wasn’t a McDonald’s drive-through!”
“Any place that has the word ‘drive-through’ in it is not an appropriate marriage venue for a lady!”
Well, despite the fact that Genevieve didn’t always consider herself a lady, Mom was right. A drive-through wedding put the ‘T’ in tacky.
Genevieve stared at the bronze statue she’d dropped on the ground, and kicked it. She’d been married to the man for two whole months about six months ago. She’d now been divorced from him three times as long as she’d been married to him. A fine time to try to reconcile. It was never going to happen.
Because she wasn’t settling. Ever again.
2
Gen had met Allen on a singles cruise. The first of her many mistakes had been agreeing to go, but her best friend Desiree had begged.
“Please, when I meet Mr. Right I need someone to make sure I’m not making a mistake. I plan on doing a lot of drinking, and I’m not the best judge when I drink,” Desiree had said.
“You’re going to meet Mr. Wrong on this cruise,” Gen laughed into the phone.
“Oh well. At least we’ll have a good time.”
So she’d agreed to go on the silly singles cruise that left the port in Long Beach and wound its way to Puerto Vallarta and Cancun. Everyone in their right mind realized Cancun was tourism’s hot spot for singles. No one who had a good head on their shoulders would find a lifetime commitment there.
But Gen had found her future husband. Unfortunately.
It happened when Desiree was flirting with a man from the Bay Area and Genevieve had decided to take a walk alone along the deck. She pretended she was there with her husband, Wallace. He worked so hard and she’d talked him into taking a break. He was in their cabin room sleeping because— let’s just say last night had been a humdinger. He needed to recover, believe you me. She was in the middle of a full blown fantasy when she turned and saw Wallace walking towards her.
She’d had to do a double-take because Wallace, outside of her rich fantasy life, wouldn’t be on a singles cruise.
And it wasn’t Wallace, but a man who looked just like him.
Gen must have been staring, because Not Wallace stopped right in front of her. “Well hello there. Have we met?”
He smiled, showing off perfect teeth. Gen didn’t think he had Wallace’s smile, but it was hard to remember since she’d only seen Wallace smile about twice. Once when she was eighteen and he’d picked her up and thrown her into the Mcallister’s pool, and another time when his brother Billy’s team won the World Series.
“N-no, we haven’t. I’m Genevieve. Genevieve Hannigan.” She held out her hand.
“Allen Shebowski. I live in Austin now, but I’m originally from New Jersey. I’m a dentist.” He grinned.
Hence the perfect teeth. Made sense. His hands were soft, and beautifully manicured. He had Wallace’s same dark brown sun-kissed hair, except it was cut short, not a hair out of place. Wallace’s hair was always a little bit wild and forever in need of a trim.
But otherwise, this guy was the spitting image of Wallace Turlock. Yes, yes, Gen’s fantasy brain took over. Oh, you’ll do. You’ll do just fine.
That evening at the captain’s table, she introduced Desiree to Allen, and she did her own double-take. “Holy shit! I mean, nice to meet you.”
So it wasn’t just Genevieve. Anyone who’d ever laid eyes on Wallace would notice.
By the time the cruise ended she’d agreed to move to Austin with Allen. Finally, she’d had her Wallace. Or at least, pretty close.
Desiree had tried to slap some sense into Genevieve. “What are you doing? Gen, wake up! Stop living in a fantasy! That man is not Wallace Turlock.”
“I know he’s not, because I’m never going to have Wallace. But Allen is nice and sweet and he says he loves me.”
“He doesn’t know you!” Desiree had grabbed Genevieve’s shoulders and literally shook them back and forth.
It hadn’t worked. Genevieve came home for a few days to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to Joe. It was just her and Joe in Starlight Hill now, because Mom had moved back to Alabama a few years after Daddy died.
“I don’t like this. You’re moving in with a guy I haven’t even met. I should get to know this dentist.” Joe carried her boxes into the U-Haul she’d rented for the drive to Austin.
“Don’t worry, you will. We’re probably getting married.”
“Don’t even joke about that.”
Secretly, she took pleasure in the fact that she’d worried Joe. She liked to see him squirm and stew and not be able to do a damn thing about it. It was his punishment, and it served him right for seeing Wallace first. She understood Joe’s Rules. She couldn’t date her brother’s best friend. Joe would never allow it.
She and Allen were married a short month later, in a Reno drive-through that gave a dentist discount. Very tacky and even though she’d dreamed of a big wedding all her life this would have to do.
Joe sounded positively murderous over the phone, angry that she’d made their mother cry. “This is bullshit. Mom has one daughter. Would it have killed you to have a real wedding?”
And in the background, Gen heard Wallace’s deep voice. “Whose ass do I have to kick?”
Even the sound of his voice turned her on. Allen had a high pitched kind of voice, almost a little squeaky. “Tell Wallace to calm down. And you too. I’m happy and that’s all you need to worry about.”
She was happy, for about two months. Allen had a thriving dental business even if he was the cheapest man she’d ever met, and in Austin everyone thought she was the luckiest woman on earth. Because they hadn’t met Wallace Turlock.
Then one night Gen made a terrible mistake she’d live to regret. In the throes of passion (scheduled twice a week by her husband), she called out, “Oh, Wallace!”
“Did you say Wallace?” Allen had asked.
Oh crap. She covered her mouth, then lowered her hand. “Yes, I’m sorry. I— I just saw Braveheart again on Netflix.”
Allen smiled knowingly. “You naughty little girl. Is it okay if I call you ‘Reese’? You remind me of her, with your cute little southern accent.”
Genevieve gagged. The fantasy was over.
The next day in the Whole Foods Market, Allen was discussing root canals with a patient he’d run into. Gen picked up a piece of organic chicken breast (the only kind Allen would eat) and stared from it to her husband. He was Not Wallace again. His looks were carefully choreographed and took effort. He had mani-pedis every other week. He probably wouldn’t recognize a hammer if it hit him over the head.
Allen finished talking with his patient and rejoined her. “You’re not Wallace,” Gen said slowly.
“Of course I am, Reese.” He grinned. “And later I’ll show you.”
It wouldn’t work, it couldn’t work. She’d been an idiot. Lost her mind for two or three months. It had to be the stress, that’s what it had been. The stress of loving someone for years without telling him.
Genevieve threw the chicken at Allen, and it hit him in the chest. He actually winced in pain at being hit with a one-half pound chicken fillet.
“You’re not Wallace!” She ran screaming from the market. “You’re not Wallace!”
Allen followed her, yelling, “Don’t forget you signed a pre-nup!”
This time she’d hired movers and taken a flight home the next day. Joe and Wallace met her in baggage claim. Gen folded right into her brother’s arms, and burst into tears. “I’m back.”
He squeezed her tight. “It’s okay, little sister. It’ll be all right, you’ll see.”
Wallace stood behind Joe, picking up her heaviest bags. Looking so rugged and handsome, without even trying. Breaking her heart, without meaning to do it.
3
On Monday, the cherry wood floors came in and Wallace picked them up, stuffed them in the bed of his pick-up truck, and drove over to Genevieve’s bakery. She’d been strang
ely subdued and quiet since their last disagreement, and he wondered if it might have anything to do with the ex-husband.
Either way, he’d finally adjusted to the idea of spending the next two weeks away from the cabin. He’d just rearrange some jobs and make up the time by staying into February. And this way, he also had a little extra time to talk some sense into his mother.
She still had plans to get married this June on his brother Billy’s vineyard property. To a man she hadn’t dated for long.
He realized it was his job as the big brother to take care of his family after their father had left them, but was it too much to ask for a little help now and then? He’d made the mistake of asking Billy to look out for their mother, who had tried dipping her toes into Internet dating. Little did Wallace know his brother would be too lovesick over his new general manager to pay much attention.
That’s what he got for delegating.
But Wallace had only personally known one other person to get married so quickly, and look how well that had turned out. He’d wanted to kick the ass of the man who’d hurt Gen, but he’d never had the pleasure of even meeting him. Well, he would soon enough.
He pulled his truck in front of Gen’s store and unhitched the tailgate.
The air felt unseasonably cold for early January, making him miss the true winter temperatures of the Sierras. When Starlight Hill residents walked around in forty-five degree temps complaining about the bitter frigid cold, well, he knew he was in the Bay Area.
He pulled his work gloves on, grabbed a pallet of wood, turned and nearly impaled Gen. “What the hell! Are you trying to get hurt?”
“Hi Wallace! I’ve been thinking—”
“No, you haven’t.”
“But—”
“Get out of my way. I’ve got your cherry wood floor.” She moved aside like a wise woman, so apparently there was a God, and he walked into the store and set the first pallet down.
Gen was right behind him. “It isn’t that I’ve changed my mind again! That’s what you think, isn’t it?”
If he’d been a betting man he would have said, ‘All my money on the ditzy redhead!’ but instead he nodded.
She laughed softly. “No, no. But I have decided that you should go to the cabin. Why don’t you give that man a call, and just let him finish the job?”
“Is this some kind of trick?” Gen suddenly changing her mind could only mean one thing. She obviously knew Joe had left town, and she didn’t want Wallace around either when she reconciled with the ex.
And Wallace could not let that happen.
“Of course not. You go to the cabin every January and I don’t want to be in the way of that.” She kept biting her lower lip, in full tilt begging mode.
He was in hog-freaking heaven. “It’s all right, I’ll go after I’m done here. No worries.”
“But are you sure? Are you really sure? Won’t you hate me if I keep you from the cabin? I don’t want you to hate me.” Now she worried a nail between her teeth.
It was hard not to smile. He put one hand on each of her shoulders. “Listen, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Really?” she squeaked out.
“But I suggest you close the bakery for a couple of days. I need to move everything out.”
“Close for a couple of days?”
“Calm down. I have to move the display cabinet, and—”
“Great! I’ll do it.” She smiled.
He’d expected a little more argument and didn’t speak for a moment. “Good.”
“So if someone were to come looking for me here at the shop, they wouldn’t find me because it would be closed. Then they might just give up and go away.” Her eyes looked a little wild now.
It might be time to re-assess. Was Gen afraid of her ex? Granted, no one knew much about this dentist guy. Gen wouldn’t show anyone pictures of the wedding, which had happened in some kind of drive-through but apparently Joe had seen at least one photo of him. Wallace half hoped the guy was coming here to cause some trouble because it had been a long time since he’d kicked someone’s ass and he was beginning to miss it.
He sat Gen down at one of the tables, and joined her. “What’s going on? Time to level with me.”
Gen put her head in her hands, which killed him. “My ex is on his way here, and I don’t want him to find me. I just don’t want him to show his face in town.”
“Right. Did he hurt you?” His fists bunched under the table as he waited for her answer.
“What? Oh no. It’s not that.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
She looked desperate then. “Oh for the love of Pete, don’t get all Alpha on me. I swear he didn’t hurt me, okay?”
“Then why are you so afraid of him?”
“I’m not afraid! I just don’t want him to come here.”
He nodded. “You don’t want to see him.”
“And I don’t want you to see him!”
Shit, what did this guy look like? Did he have some kind of facial deformity? And why did both his best friend and Gen believe he of all people couldn’t handle it?
“Why? Did you marry an ugly man? What the hell is going on here?”
“No, he’s not ugly! Not ugly at all.”
“All right, facially challenged. Whatever.”
Gen shook her head. “He’s good looking.”
“Do you think I’ll fall for him then? Because I don’t bat for that team, and I thought you knew that.” He raised a brow.
Gen laughed then. “I know.”
He studied her. “You worry me. I’m going to get this floor done, and then I’m staying with you until this guy has left town.”
Gen stood up so fast she knocked her chair over. “Staying with me?”
“No arguments. Joe’s out of town and this is not acceptable.”
“Oh,” Gen squeaked out. “Okay.”
“Now get out of my way. I’ve got some floors to put in.”
* * *
Gen ran home before Wallace was done, so that she could make sure she hadn’t left any underwear hanging in her bathroom. So she could clean up the dishes, and not look like a slob.
She dialed Desiree and explained the situation. “Holy shit! This is your chance, are you kidding me?”
“It’s not my chance. Didn’t you hear me? Wallace is about to find out I married his doppleganger! It’s not supposed to be like this.”
“So what!” Desiree shrieked into the phone. “I’m so sick of this. Time to tell him how you feel. I bet he won’t be surprised, either.”
“Joe won’t like it. I think he’d like to believe I’m still a virgin.”
“You were married!”
“I know, but still. And if things don’t work out with Wallace, Joe will hate him. It will ruin their friendship.”
“What if things do work out?”
“That’s even worse! Is he my boyfriend or Joe’s best friend? How can he make both of us happy?”
“Oh for crap’s sake, just tell him how you feel and let him decide what to do.”
Finally they’d arrived at the real problem. “I don’t have the nerve to make the first move. I’ve been trying to give him hints, and he’s not catching any of them. You make it sound so simple, but it’s not.”
“You married a man because he looked like Wallace! This is a lot simpler than that!”
“Maybe you’re right. So what do I do?”
“You were married, and I have to tell you that?”
“This is different. He won’t see it coming. And I’m no good at making the first move!”
“Let me think. Maybe shock and awe is the best way. How about you meet him at the front door wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I read that somewhere.”
“He’d have me committed. You should have seen the way he looked at me. He thinks I’m a little wacky.”
“Oh good, that’s good. Guys like wacky. But just a little b
it. They don’t like crazy. Just don’t be crazy.”
“Okay. Got it. Wacky, not crazy. This is the first time in a long while that I’ve had Wallace all to myself, no Joe around.”
“Rock his world!” Desiree squealed.
An hour later, Gen had calmed down and stopped hyperventilating. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t thought of it earlier— baking always relaxed her. Buying the bakery from Mrs. Lewis had been the smartest business move she’d ever made. She had the kitchen filled with the smells of chocolate and caramel when Wallace knocked on the front door.
He had an overnight bag with him. “Smells good in here.”
Genevieve waved him in. “Brownies with salted caramel sauce.”
“Great. That’s dessert. So I’ll order us a pizza for dinner,” he said, throwing his bag on the couch.
“What? No, you will not order a pizza. How insulting! I’ll make you a pizza.”
He slid her a look. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t mind!” She started scouring for her rolling pin. “You’re my guest.”
“Suit yourself. By the way, what does your ex look like?” Wallace asked.
He looks like you. She turned to face him. “W-why do you ask?”
“I saw some dude lingering, staring through the window as I was cleaning up. Suspicious. Long blond hair and a scraggly beard.”
“That’s not him,” Gen breathed out in relief. “You would recognize him.”
Wallace snorted. “How am I going to recognize him? I’ve never seen him before.”
“Oh, right!”
He gave her the I’m-considering-having-you-committed look and then flicked on the TV set to a football game.
Wallace had been a quarterback in high school— a really good one, according to Joe, who was a running back. But Wallace had quit the team in his senior year so the family’s resources could all go towards his brother Billy and his promising baseball career. Wallace took a second job to help with all the pitching clinics and whatever else was involved— she sure as hell didn’t know. But between school and his part-time jobs, Wallace had to let football go.
THE STARLIGHT HILL COMPLETE COLLECTION: 1-8 Page 42