“There is none,” Sophia said, shaking her head.
“Unless…” Lizzie began.
“Holy Toledo, you slept with your husband! Didn’t you?” Angie squealed.
“No! What makes you think that?”
“Did you happen to leave something out? Because sometimes a man is quite grateful the morning after.” Lizzie grinned, the face of a woman who knew about this kind of thing.
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
“Why not?” Lizzie pressed. “It’s been a long time for you and he knows you. Knows what you like. How to please you. Maybe you could just give him a little pity fu—”
“I am not going to sleep with Riley!” When two of her waiters turned and raised their eyebrows, she got quiet. “We’re not talking about this.”
“Why?” Angie said, shushing her voice. “Are you afraid? Are you a chicken?”
Lizzie and the waiters laughed. Sophia did not. When Angie started clucking, arms tucked under her like a chicken, Sophia left the kitchen out the backdoor. Her friends were so not helpful. She pulled out her phone. She didn’t have Riley’s new cell phone, so she tried the station. It was late, but knowing the way he put in the long hours he might still be there.
“Chief Jacobs, please.”
“May I tell him who is calling?” an annoyed sounding woman asked.
“Sophia Jac—” Whoops, well there’s a mistake she hadn’t made in a long time. She’d almost said Jacobs. “Sophia Abella.”
“Hold on, Mrs. Jacobs,” the idiotic woman said. “Looks like he just got off the phone with the mayor. I’ll put you through.”
She supposed she was to be impressed by that. “Thanks, but I’m not Mrs.—”
“Jacobs,” Riley answered the phone.
Sophia sighed. “It’s me. Why did you have these delivered to my restaurant?”
“What did they deliver? It was supposed to be a dozen red roses.”
Sophia sighed. “Yes, that’s what I got. But why did you send them?”
“I thought you liked red roses.”
So he remembered and it hadn’t been a lucky shot. Red roses were Mama’s favorites too. She said they meant romantic love and when a man sent them to a woman she should sit up and pay attention. Kind of like a mating call, so to speak.
“I do and thank you. They’re beautiful but now everyone thinks that we’re…”
“What?”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t know. It’s why I asked.”
She took a breath, made sure no one was eavesdropping, then whispered into the phone. “Having sex.”
There was silence on the other end, then the sound of a door shutting. He did not whisper. “Is that such a bad idea?”
“Yes! It’s a horrible idea. I don’t even know why you’d suggest it.”
“Well, you were the one who brought it up, but you’re right. It is a bad idea.”
She blew out a breath. “Wait. It is?”
“Go out with me,” Riley said.
And there again was part of the problem. Still not a damn question. “I think you’re trying to ask me something. Are you?”
He cleared his throat. “Would you go out with me?”
“No!”
“C’mon. You said you want to start dating again.”
“I didn’t mean you.”
“It would just be dinner. No sex.”
“Of course not.”
“That’s what I said. And I mean even if you beg me to do you, it’s not going to happen.”
“I am not going to beg you to do me!” She shouted.
The backdoor opened at that moment, Raul coming out with the trash. He simply turned around and went back inside, barely smothering a laugh. Sophia slapped her forehead and moaned.
“So what do you say? We haven’t had a chance to catch up.”
“You work all the time.” Quite familiar territory as a matter of fact, only this time he didn’t work in a war zone.
“So do you. But other than work, I’m free Monday.”
“Fine. I’ll have to check my babysitting schedule. If I’m free and have nothing else to do at all, then I guess I can go to dinner with you. Just dinner.”
“What can I say? I’m honored. I’ll walk over at seven.” With that he hung up.
Sophia stepped back inside the kitchen. The minute she did, all talking stopped. Angie turned to her with a big smile. “Everything okay?”
“Sure.”
“Who exactly are you not going to beg to do you?” Angie asked.
Sophia glared at Raul.
He merely shrugged and moved to take the trash out.
“We have got to institute a ‘no gossip’ policy in this kitchen. Whatever happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen.”
“Ooh I like it! C’mon, dish.” Angie said, stirring a sauce. “What did Riley do now?”
“Nothing much. He asked me out to dinner. Just to catch up.” Sophia slid a loving look at the garlic bread, one of her favorite comfort foods. She’d love to have a big chunk of Angie’s buttery garlic bread right about now, all the crunchy crevices filled with chunks of garlic and creamy butter. It was better than sex. Well. A good replacement, anyway.
“That’s nice,” Angie said. “You two should be friends at least.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. No point in being angry forever. Right?”
“Right. So…the sex thing. That was just your way of making it clear there would be no sex after the date?”
“Yeah. He agreed. Said he wouldn’t have sex with me even if I begged him.”
“Really.” Angie’s nose wrinkled, as it always did when she was thoroughly confused.
“Okay.” Sophia smiled. “Good talk.”
It was Saturday night, the restaurant would soon be hopping and she had to get out among her guests and start entertaining. After all, Mama would have never let something as trivial as a date with her husband get her off her game.
Sophia didn’t freak out about dressing for her date with Riley. Come Monday, unfortunately free of any babysitting duties, she started to get ready shortly before seven. How comforting to go out with someone that she didn’t have to impress. This was Riley. He’d seen her at her worst already, so why bother trying to hide the spots? She showered but wore her most casual jeans and fisherman’s sweater. Maybe she should have asked, but she didn’t expect they would be going anywhere fancy. Not for two old friends catching up. Riley would probably save the expensive dinners for women with whom he had half a chance of getting laid.
He was at her door at precisely seven o’clock, the ever punctual Marine. Hershee growled and snarled again, but Riley bent down and gave her a cookie. “Here.”
Hershee trotted off with the cookie, all thoughts of protecting Sophia right out the window when presented with a food offering.
“She’s some guard dog.”
“Don’t be too hard on her. She can tell I’m not going to hurt her.”
“Where are we going?” Sophia grabbed her purse and keys. She’d noticed Riley had dressed casually as well, which was a relief. He wore dark jeans and what looked like a button-down under his black leather jacket. The ever-present dark biker boots.
“I thought we’d stay in town.”
Great. Now everyone would see them and they’d feed the gossip mill. But at least this way the evening would be finished sooner. “Fine.”
“Mexican food?”
“Casa Sanchez.” It was one of three in town and her favorite. No reservations required and a great bar where they made the best margaritas in town.
The night was dark and cold, clouds covering every star in the velvety sky. Riley, of course, had to open the passenger side door for her. But in addition to that, he grabbed her shoulder seat belt and leaned in as if he would buckle it himself. This was an old habit, and while she used to find it endearing and protective, it now seemed controlling. She casually moved his hand away and buckled it herself.
He made no indication if this upset him, and before long they were headed to the restaurant which was only a few minutes away. Not much time to talk which was a good thing because she didn’t much want to talk to him. This being friendly with the ex thing wasn’t all that simple. Maybe it was a good idea in theory but in practicality, it wasn’t working for her right now. He was quiet and she stared at his profile while he drove. Definitely growing a light scruff of a beard. Why not? He was a man now. A man she once thought would go to the ends of the earth for her. A loyal man and hers forever. When she’d been young and foolish, she’d easily believed everything he wanted her to believe.
Because he’d been so damned convincing. She cleared her throat, uncomfortable with the silence. He merely glanced at her and smiled. Didn’t say a word.
She grabbed her phone and checked Twitter and Facebook but it had been only thirty minutes since she last checked so nothing new there. She considered tweeting she’d be heading out to dinner and give Casa Sanchez a nice plug to her thirty thousand followers, but usually she sent photos too, and that might invite too many questions. It was going to be bad enough being seen in public with Riley when most everyone thought they were divorced. Either they’d give her some kind of medal for being civil to the ex, or they’d start asking questions she didn’t want to answer.
Finally, she couldn’t resist the silence. “What are we doing, exactly?”
“We’re going to dinner.”
“I know that’s what we’re calling it. It can’t be that simple with us. You said you were interested in getting me back, and now you’re taking me out to dinner. But it’s not a date.”
He nodded. “Right. And I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“No one is sleeping with anyone.”
“Pretty sure someone is sleeping with someone tonight. Somewhere in this little town somebody is getting lucky.”
“Well it won’t be you.”
“Or you.”
More silence. Of course, they could talk at the restaurant. That’s what this was all about anyway. Catching up with the ex. Friendly millennial stuff she hated. But it might be loud at Casa Sanchez, in fact it usually was as they had a big screen TV in the bar area and the Niners were in the play-offs last she’d heard.
And holy crap, she was really going to ask the question. The one that had been haunting her.
“Do you think you ever really loved me?”
He almost ran a red light, but screeched to a stop in time. “What kind of a question is that? You’re the love of my life.”
She didn’t want to argue the point. They both still saw matters very differently. “O-kay.”
“What about you? You hate me now, you made that clear enough. Did you ever love me?”
Now she was annoyed. “What do you think?”
“Fair enough.” Riley kept his eyes on the road and didn’t answer for a long moment. “I think you did love me.”
“Good job! If I had a prize, I’d give it to you.”
“I guess we’re quite a pair. You hate me, and I definitely don’t hate you. Not going to sleep with you, obviously. Not even if you beg. But I don’t hate you.” He pulled into the asphalt parking lot of Casa Sanchez and shut off the engine.
She jumped out of the truck before he could come around and open the door for her. That would seem too much like a couple’s date. Riley scowled but let it go. The hostess told them the wait was twenty minutes but there were seats in the bar. Before Sophia realized what was happening, Riley was pulling on her hand and leading her into the bar area where he quickly found them a table.
Once upon a time she’d been proud of the attention that Riley commanded when he walked into a room. She figured it was the way he carried himself with authority and badass confidence. His good looks and muscular rangy body had also never hurt the situation. Tonight she noticed it happening all over again, but this time with a healthy dose of indifference on her part. The women, in particular, noticed when he walked in. Their bodies sort of angled toward him, like an ‘open for business, if you want some real action’ advertisement.
“I’ll get our drinks. You want the usual?”
“The usual?”
“You still like margaritas?” He grinned. “Salt around the rim?”
Good Lord, had he forgotten nothing? “Yeah. Thanks.”
There was a long line at the bar and she figured he’d be gone for a while, so Sophia pulled out her cell phone and checked Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. Found a cool pin of a white tiger and pinned it to her ‘wild animals I love’ board. When she looked up, Priscilla York was talking to Riley. More like whispering in his ear. Sophia could have expected this scenario. Priscilla propositioned every handsome man, and Riley would be no exception. It didn’t bother Sophia at all. Tonight she was rocking this whole indifference thing. But then a faintly familiar hard-eyed look came into Riley’s eyes and he scowled at Priscilla. She smirked as he pulled out his wallet from his back pocket, slapped a few bills on the table and grabbed their drinks.
He walked behind Sophia and set the drinks down, then touched her shoulders, leaned over and kissed her cheek. The familiarity surprised her as she now recognized it as the move of a man indicating that he was with somebody and had no intention of straying anywhere else. Possessive. Claiming. And inappropriate. But a strange sense of déjà vu settled on Sophia and she was taken back to a different time and place. The flinty hard look in Riley’s eyes was similar to the one he’d had the night he’d met Nikki. And the smirk was familiar too. It was a ‘you don’t know what you’re missing’ smile. Oh. My. God.
She was so stupid! “Nikki made a pass at you, didn’t she?”
“What?”
“The night you met her, when I had her over for dinner that first Christmas. In the garage. When you kissed me and groped me. She’d just made a pass at you!”
“Soph—”
“Tell me it’s not true!”
He wouldn’t look at her. “I can’t do that.”
“She was my best friend. I thought she was my friend. How could she…why did she…”
“Because she wasn’t much of a friend.”
Sophia thought back to how horny Nikki had been during that time. But hitting on Riley? Sophia’s husband? Nikki knew how crazy in love Sophia had been! Riley was all she talked about. She’d had the nerve to call him a killer! Sophia had thought it was grief talking, but maybe there had been more to it than she ever realized.
“I wish she was here right now. I’d kill her.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Not long enough.”
“Do you want to leave? We don’t have to stay here. Let’s go home and talk.”
Sure, because people were beginning to stare. And Sophia was having a tiny bit of trouble breathing. “I just—I— why? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her breaths were coming in far too fast and short again. Too unsteady. She was a rocket getting ready for take-off. Ten, nine, eight, seven…holy crap, she hadn’t felt this short of breath since approximately six years ago give or take. Before she realized what was happening, Sophia felt her body being pulled out through the crowded sea of people, a strong hand on the small of her back. Patrons stared at her in concern. Some of them familiar faces, some not.
At the door, Frances Sanchez, the owner and an old friend of Sophia’s father, stopped her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay, honey?”
Sophia nodded. She would have answered but she would need more breaths to do that. Right now she had to conserve or she wouldn’t have enough oxygen and then she would die. She felt certain of this.
“She’ll be fine. We’re leaving.” This was from Riley, who continued to guide her outside.
Then she stood next to Riley’s truck and in his arms where he held her back tightly against his chest. “Slow down, baby. Deep even breaths. Like mine. Feel my breaths. You’re okay.”
Sophia let out a strangled sob. She felt humiliated to be in this state agai
n, especially in front of him. Weak. Helpless. She was stronger than this now, far better than this. As he had once before, he wouldn’t let go until her breathing slowed, partly in response to his own steady, even breaths.
Then he turned her around in his arms to face her. “Better?”
No, she was definitely, without a doubt, not better. But she could breathe now, and that was what he meant. She nodded. “Did you and Nikki?”
His brown eyes shuttered, and she hated the hurt in them. “Hell, no.”
She nodded, sorry she’d asked. Dumb question. Right, right. He’d hated Nikki the day he met her. It was easy enough back then to believe it was the war. The war made him hostile and unfriendly. Now she knew exactly why. She remembered the way he’d walked right up to Sophia in the garage and kissed her with a boldness that had taken her back. He’d been showing Nikki then in no uncertain terms that he was taken. Not interested. He was punishing her as well, a fact that had once made Sophia upset. He’d been fiercely loyal to her, the best friend she’d ever had. When it came to Nikki, he’d had Sophia’s back. He’d always had her back.
Without putting much more thought behind it, Sophia’s arms circled Riley’s neck and she reached up to kiss him. She meant the kiss to be tender and loving but it quickly turned hot and needy. On her part. He responded, but took her lead, never pushing for more than she wanted to give him. She finally managed to pull back and stare up at him, trying to recover her equilibrium.
“Not even if you beg.” He grinned.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“No. What happened was bad enough. I didn’t want to add to it.”
“I know why you didn’t, but you should have told me.”
His forehead rested on hers. “I should have. But she was your only friend and you didn’t want to hear it. Remember?”
Oh, how she remembered. Riley had wanted to see an old friend and they took a two-day trip to Charlotte. He took her camping and fishing (her first time). They didn’t get back until the day before it was time for him to leave. He never saw Nikki again.
Sophia stepped back. “And I wanted you to apologize to her!”
“I never would have. She was a shitty friend. I’m just sorry it ended the way it did.” He got quiet then, and she knew they were both thinking about David. About another time in their lives when they’d both been so afraid of what they too might lose that they’d clung to each other all night long.
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