Then he’d said he loved her and her heart had jumped with the memory of those words. But she didn’t want to love him, even though it would be easy. Maybe too easy. Tonight, she didn’t want to think about loving him. For once all she wanted to do was feel him, touch the strength of him as he kissed and touched and brought out a heated passion from her like only he could. But as quickly as he’d taken over when her hand reached into his gray sweatpants, she felt shy as well, a sentiment she couldn’t recall feeling with him. It had been so long since she’d been with a man. Maybe she’d forgotten how to do this.
She’d made love to him countless of times but now a tingle of fear crept up her spine. A worry. She was afraid she’d feel something much deeper for him than she wanted to. Truthfully, she didn’t do casual, and certainly not sure she could do it with Riley. But they’d only agreed to this one time. Unfortunately, this taste had only reminded her of all she’d missed. She would need to make a conscious decision to open up her body to him, and keep her heart shut off. It wasn’t going to be easy because this was Riley and he’d already opened up his heart to her. But she had to do it because she had no idea what the future held for them. He never wanted children, which was a deal breaker for her.
He said he loved her but he’d said that before, too, and still chosen the Marine Corps over her.
When he stood before her naked, all those hard and inherently male angles displayed, she nearly forgot herself and just stared for a moment. His familiar Semper Fi tattoo wrapped around his bicep, the light dusting of perfect chest hairs, the muscles cutting in all the right places. He was by far the finest male specimen she’d ever laid eyes on. He didn’t let her watch for long, joining her on the bed, and pulling her on top of him. She gasped and wound up straddling his hips. He grabbed the nape of her neck and kissed her long and deep, groaning in pleasure.
She stared into his hot eyes and forgot to be afraid.
Her tongue traced a line from his neck, down his pecs and to his abs. She felt him shiver under her touch. This was what she’d become hooked on from the start. Watching this strong man become putty in her hands. But something niggled at her brain that wouldn’t quit bothering her, even after the mind blowing effects of seeing him bare-chested again, all those rippling muscles waiting for her eager touch. Riley flipped her and gained control again. And honestly, if there was one place where she didn’t mind giving him control it was here. His fingers tweaked her nipple, followed by his lips drawing it in and sucking. She gasped and moaned.
What had he said to her? I won’t share you with anyone. Did he think she’d been sleeping with these men?
She tensed, and he knew her body well enough to know that it wasn’t all pleasure, because he stopped even before she said a word. “Wait.”
“Second thoughts? Because this would be the time to have them. Pretty soon it will be a little too late for me.” The worried expression in his eyes almost made her laugh.
Second thoughts? Not on her life. But she needed to make one thing clear, much as it would hurt her pride.
“No, but you need to know. I’ve never cheated on you, Riley. We’re still married and I haven’t slept with anyone else.” She waited for him to doubt her, to be amazed by Saint Sophia, to quirk an eyebrow, to laugh. Anything.
But he simply smiled. “Thank you for telling me.”
She thought she might be blushing. “You’re welcome.”
“You were right. You’ve waited long enough. We both have. Sorry I made you wait another hour.”
Then he kissed her again and again, making his way down the column of her neck, nipping and tugging at her earlobe before his teeth sank into it. She touched him everywhere, the hot and hard feel of his body so memorable and at the same time new.
He stopped worshipping her body long enough to gaze into her eyes. “I missed you, baby.”
Her heart stuttered and one thread from the blanket sewn over her heart ripped off because oh yes, she could admit to that too. She’d missed him so much. Years of missing him had turned into a soft melody she heard only in the back of her mind when everything else around her was too quiet.
“Me too. I missed you. So much.”
She could see in the tenderness in his eyes that there was more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t going to push. He understood her, and she’d forgotten what that was like.
His mouth was hot and insistent as he kissed from her navel downward, finally nudging her thighs open and settling between them. His tongue and lips touched parts of her that hadn’t been touched by a man in a long time. Pulsating shower head dials had nothing on Riley Jacobs’ many talents. She undulated her hips, surprised at how suddenly caught up she felt in her own frenzied desire. It shouldn’t be like this, not so good and so comfortable and so right after all this time apart. When he sucked in her core she shoved her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. His lips and tongue wouldn’t stop until she finally shuddered and came hard a minute later, wondering if she’d pulled every single hair out of his head.
“Get inside me,” she begged. “Please.”
“I lied,” he said with a smile. “I can’t resist it when you beg.”
He slipped on a condom and thrust inside her with a force that made them both gasp. He moved above her in a hard and fluid movement that matched hers. She could sense him slowing, pacing himself, giving her time to come along, and for the pressure to build inside until it was too much for her. He pulled one of her legs up going deeper still and Sophia gasped and clutched at the sheets. She was with him, so lost that she would have said anything, told him anything he wanted to hear so that he wouldn’t ever stop. When she moaned and cried out his name the waves of pleasure hit her so hard and fast she gripped his shoulders, not knowing where her body ended and his began. Riley followed her with his own release holding on to her so tight she didn’t think she could breathe.
He rolled her on top of him and as she had so many times before, she placed her head on his chest listening to the sounds of his heartbeat, his now fast but always even breaths which were always such a comfort to her. He was strong and steady like a rock and so was his heart.
He tipped her chin up so she met his eyes. “Okay?”
“Definitely.”
Oh yes she was fine. Super. But what now? Would he leave on his own? Would she feel offended if he left as if he’d gotten what he wanted and was done with her? He said he loved you, dummy. That was true, and this time she wasn’t ready. Not yet. She wasn’t going to follow Riley like a lost puppy dog anymore. There were too many unanswered questions.
For now, did she want him to leave or want him to stay? Was she supposed to send him on his merry way until the next time? Would there be a next time? Were there any other questions she hadn’t thought of torturing herself with yet? Surely there were some she was missing.
She’d already said this was a one-time thing, her words. Of course, she regretted them now. Might have been a little hasty.
Riley answered her unspoken question by making it simple, as was always his way. “Do you want me to stay?”
When the question was asked out loud, she found that the answer was quite simple. She lifted her head from his chest and searched his soft brown eyes. “Yes.”
When Sophia jerked awake the next morning, she immediately recognized her own surroundings though something was different. Very different. It was a minute before she put her finger on it. She was…oh, that’s right. Deliriously happy. Before she’d had her coffee, even.
She glanced over to find that Riley was no longer lying next to her on the bed. A note on her nightstand read: I’m at work. See you later. Love, Riley. Then she vaguely remembered him kissing her goodbye this morning while she was still in a sleepy fog. Climbing out of bed, she threw a robe over her naked body and went to make the coffee. Hershee emerged from the spare bedroom with a slow trot, as if unsure of what she’d find.
“He’s not here.” Sophia filled Hershee’s bowl with her morning meal, then patted her dogg
ie’s head. “And thanks for not barking all night.”
Somehow it felt as though there should be an entire celebration at the restaurant tonight. She’d call it: Sophia finally got laid. Champagne and wine for everyone on the house! Well. Giving away free champagne and wine was not the best financial decision so maybe it was better not to overdo the celebration.
She powered up her laptop and went through her emails one by one. Mostly junk and some work emails from local vineyards. She went to update HootSuite with her new week’s posts for the restaurant, a real time saver. Went to Facebook anyway and considered changing her status from ‘it’s complicated’ to the truth: ‘married.’ Then reconsidered because that would bring too much attention to it and probably a lot of well-wishers congratulating her on her marriage and asking about the lucky guy even though she’d gotten married eight years ago.
She’d told him it would happen once, so what did it say about her that she was already thinking about the next time? No. Best to take this whole—thing—slow.
For that, she might have to stop thinking so much.
Coffee ready, she poured a mug and went to her accounting spreadsheet for the restaurant. She’d hired an accountant to take care of the major accounting and payroll, but Sophia did financial forecasts she’d learned at Berkeley. Staying open Monday was something she needed to face at some point. It was no longer making any financial sense. Maybe she’d talk to Angie about it tonight and break it to her gently, even if Sophia hated the idea of cutting back on her employee’s work hours. The servers, especially, counted on every penny and were already short gratuities on Mondays. She didn’t like letting any of her loyal employees down.
An hour later, Sophia was unable to concentrate any longer. She kept thinking of Riley and last night which had been magical. The things he’d done to her body. Making love once after so much time apart hadn’t been enough and they’d both become greedy. Twice more and they’d both finally fallen asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and sated and satisfied. Now that she was back on the Riley gravy train she couldn’t see getting off any time soon. But of course, she would have to. This couldn’t last. Something this good never did. Riley hadn’t wanted children once before, and maybe he still didn’t. He might eventually choose his job over her sooner or later and then they’d be done.
The job. Yes, that too. Still not a mail-man, Riley just had to be a police officer. She wasn’t naïve enough to ignore the news reports that showed tensions towards police officers in general were inflamed all over the country.
She shook her head. What she had to do was just enjoy the ride and stop thinking about the future. Her phone pinged with a text alert and Sophia grabbed it hoping it was Riley. But no, it was Bruce of all people.
I’m finally coming to see you.
Sophia’s fingers flew as she typed back as fast as possible: No. Please don’t. We broke up.
Not so long ago. I need to talk to you. It’s important. I can’t talk to anyone else.
He still hadn’t even sent a photo. Sophia was no longer even sure Bruce was a man, for crying out loud, much less a doctor. For all she knew, ‘he’ was a bored teenage boy sitting in his parents’ basement somewhere out of state.
Here’s the thing, Bruce. I’m married.
So soon???????
Actually, eight years ago. She braced herself to be called all manner of nasty names by this possibly fake person she hardly knew.
Oh. So you lied, too.
She added: It’s complicated.
That’s not fair. He added a sad face emoticon. I really like talking to you.
Sometimes Bruce really did behave like a child. I’m sorry. We should probably stop.
I’m going to miss you. Bye for now.
For now? Wild scenarios played in Sophia’s mind of what ‘Bruce’ might do next. Would he flip a switch and stalk her? Had he been stalking her all along? Wait. She was getting ahead of herself. Sophia understood people. And from everything she’d learned about ‘Bruce’ so far, he was a good, kind hearted man whatever else he might be hiding. He wasn’t going to hurt her. Still, she tried to think of what Riley might order, or rather advise her to do, if she told him about this. Do not engage came to mind.
Yes, she’d read that somewhere, too.
With only a moment’s hesitation, Sophia blocked Bruce from her phone.
15
“Okay, I was going to save this for later tonight.” Lizzie sidled up next to Sophia at the hostess booth. “But I’m going to pull out my big guns for you. You’ve been a great friend and you deserve it. I’ve got just the right guy.”
“But—” Sophia said.
“No buts. This guy is spectacular. Better yet, he can’t stand me.”
“He can’t stand you? What is he, gay?”
“No,” Lizzie laughed. “He hates blondes, I think. Maybe some kind of Mommy issues.”
“Oh wow. Sounds great.” Sophia deadpanned.
“Okay, just listen. He is a huge fan of Sofia Loren types.”
“And of all Sofia’s everywhere, as a general rule?”
“Of curvy petite Italian women everywhere. Brunettes, big dark eyes, olive skin. He’s a stickler for them. He has to be. I’m telling you, I tried everything to get this guy to be interested in me. No dice. He’s really picky. What do you think?”
“I think we’re officially going to have to close on Mondays.” Sophia went through her reservations list. Four diners tonight. One from out of town on a last minute business trip, an older couple celebrating being empty nesters and a younger couple whose babysitter had crapped out on Saturday night. While it was nice to be open for these odd occurrences, it no longer made sense financially. She was already down to a skeleton crew.
“Don’t tell Angie,” Lizzie said. “She’s in a mood tonight.”
“When is she not in a mood?” Sophia walked back towards the kitchen, and nearly ran into Angie.
“Everything okay? Are they enjoying my special of the day?”
“Oh yes, honey!” Lizzie called out from behind Sophia.
“Of course,” Sophia agreed. “Hey, I need to talk to both of you for a minute.”
Sophia and Lizzie stepped inside the kitchen.
“What is it?” Angie asked. “Sounds serious.”
“Now Angie, just calm down.” Lizzie patted Angie’s back.
“Oh my God, what is it? Did we get a bad review? Was it that curmudgeon last week who said the scampi was under cooked?” Angie’s face flushed and she rubbed her chest, code for ‘I’m about to have a Chef-sized fit.’ “With my luck, he’s the reviewer for the New York Times! One bad night is all it takes to have your entire career flushed down the toilet. Why me, God? Why me?”
“Angie, please, don’t be ridiculous. What would the New York Times be doing out here? It’s not about a bad review. It’s about my uh, my love life.”
Silence from both Angie and Lizzie, and in fact from the entire kitchen staff. Raul looked up from the sauce, then back down.
“This is one of those ‘what’s said in the kitchen stays in the kitchen’ things we talked about,” Sophia said.
Angie clapped her hands, suddenly on-board. “Oh goodie. Our first official one.”
Sophia drew them both aside, which was a bit of a joke, she realized, as this kitchen had Dumbo-sized ears. She cleared her throat. How many times had she told them how much Riley had hurt her? How much she hated him? Okay, she hadn’t been exactly fair.
“It’s me and Riley. We kind of, we sort of—”
“Holy Mary Mother of God. You got laid!” Lizzie squealed.
Raul, to his credit, continued to stir, head down. Never mind that he’d never paid that much attention to a sauce in his life. Suddenly this sauce was his opus.
“Did you?” Angie asked.
“Well, okay, yes. I did.” Sophia, suffering from dry-mouth, coughed.
“You and Riley?” Angie and Lizzie both said at once.
“Okay, so I reali
ze all the things I’ve said about him over the years probably gave you a certain picture of the man and our relationship. I might have been a little unfair and maybe a little one-sided?”
“Sure, maybe.” Lizzie said, her lips twitching.
“Admit it, you’ve been in love with the man for years,” Angie said.
“No one actively hates an ex that much unless she still loves him,” Lizzie, in all her Dr. Phi-like wisdom, said. “The opposite of love is indifference.”
“Kind of hoping you’d come around to the realization yourself.” Angie nodded.
“All those long distance online relationships?” Lizzie added. “C’mon, you never wanted anyone else. Not really.”
“Wait, hang on a minute here,” Sophia said. “I didn’t say I’m in love with him.”
Lizzie and Angie laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“So you’re just, like, having a casual fling with Riley?” Lizzie said.
“Sure, why not?”
Angie laughed so hard she gripped the counter. “With your husband?”
Sophia realized how strange that sounded. “Uh—”
Angie elbowed Sophia. “I don’t think you understand what ‘no strings’ actually means.”
“All right, all right. I guess I don’t know what it means,” Sophia said.
“Because you and Riley?” Lizzie said, convulsing with laughter, “Those aren’t strings. They’re cables.”
“Cables.” Angie slapped her thigh. “Made of steel.”
“The kind that hold up bridges!” Lizzie laughed.
“Okay, laugh all you want,” Sophia said. “Because each one of you has been married how many times now?”
Both Angie and Lizzie froze.
“Not even once,” Lizzie admitted.
“Same here.”
Sophia took a deep breath. “Right. So, I’m not dating anyone else for now.”
“Or ever,” Lizzie said with a grin.
“He’s agreed to take it slow. We have a past that’s complicated,” Sophia said. “But I found out some new information that changed things a little bit.”
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