“True.”
“Or maybe it’s because—I don’t know. Gen thinks maybe I never wanted the di…”
He chuckled. “The di?”
“You know.”
“Say it.” He tugged on a lock of her hair.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t think I can.”
“Sure you can.”
She cleared her throat. Didn’t speak.
“Say it then.”
She took a deep breath. “I never wanted a divorce.”
“See, it’s not so hard, is it?”
“Not with you.”
“Maybe because I never wanted one either.”
“I was afraid to say it out loud. The thing is I let everyone else believe that I was already divorced. That way they would leave me alone, and go about their business. I figured maybe someday you or I would get around to it. But then when you came back, it was like you were the only one who saw me for who I really was. One of the only ones who knew the truth about me.”
“Which truth? That you’re still my wife?”
“Maybe that’s all I ever wanted to be. All I am.”
“It’s not all you are, baby. Look at you, you run a successful business and you love what you do, you have good friends who have your back. A family who would do anything for you.”
“And you. Do I have you?”
“Always.”
“I have to admit that having you around all the time—it’s going to take some getting used to.”
“I have nothing but time.”
“But what are you going to do when I demand all your time? When I want you in that bedroom, in my bed, all for me?”
“Preaching to the choir.”
“You say that now.”
“I will always say that.” He brushed a tiny speck of sauce from the corner of her lips, then kissed the same spot.
Sophia kissed him, harder and more insistent. Lingering. She pulled back, gazing into his eyes. “You still work a lot.”
“So do you.” He kissed her neck and continued up, lingering at the soft spot behind her ear.
But it seemed like there was something else she wasn’t telling him, something she still held back. He’d need to work on that.
She shivered in his arms, making him smile. “I’m thinking about closing on Mondays.”
“That’s a start.” He kissed her again and again, not letting her come up for air to think or talk or do anything but kiss him.
And Riley made love to Sophia on the kitchen table, which was, after all this time, another first.
16
Never let it be said that Sophia wasn’t adventurous, but the kitchen table? That was a new one. Then again they’d never had a table before, as he’d reminded her. She’d borrowed one the night she invited Nikki over. Just the thought of that night, of how much Sophia had worked to welcome her friend into her home. She didn’t want to think about her anymore. She’d ruined enough of her life and Sophia wouldn’t let her take this happiness away from her too by giving it another thought.
Riley lay next to her resting peacefully. He had one arm thrown over her waist, his face buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel his breaths warm on her skin and her heart swelled with…no. Her heart wasn’t swelling. It wasn’t doing anything right now but thinking about what a good work-out she’d just had. Yes, that’s right. She’d probably burned one hundred million calories on that table, trying to balance so he wouldn’t knock her off. It might look easy but it wasn’t, especially for someone who wasn’t the picture of grace. At least they’d made it into the bedroom after the table sex. Table sex. Was that a thing? If not, it should be.
And she supposed her warning about ‘one time’ for sex was now a moot point. Lizzie and Angie were right, of course. No way could she do casual with Riley. Husband or not.
She glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand. It was eleven o’clock so she guessed Riley would spend the night again. Was this becoming a pattern? Well, so what if it was a pattern? Unless that meant they weren’t taking this slow enough. Then it could be dangerous and habit inducing. Probably not a good idea. Because one time had already turned into a second time. Where would it end when she clearly didn’t want it to end? Seriously, she needed to get a grip. Stop questioning every little thing. It would be okay, she told herself. A-okay.
God, he was so sexy.
She moved slightly and tried to reposition herself so that she might be able to see his face. Unfortunately, she didn’t move slowly enough and he jerked awake, eyes flying open. Alert, he seemed to struggle to get his bearings for one second until he realized where he was, until his gaze locked on hers and relaxed. She remembered to wait a second or two and give him time.
“Hey,” he said, eyes registering recognition.
“Hi, you.” She brushed a soft kiss against his lips. “I can’t sleep. Maybe I should make us dessert.”
He came up on one elbow. “I know what I want. It’s very sweet.”
The look in his eyes gave no doubt this sweet thing wasn’t technically edible.
A sharp knock on the front door made Sophia jerk straight up. A second later, Riley had already hopped out of bed and stood looking out her bedroom window.
No one came by this late. Unless it was an emergency. Her mind flashed back to all those sleepless nights in North Carolina holding her phone by her side, listening for the front door. If officers had come to her door she had a plan to cuss them out just like Nikki had. Sophia would make them turn around and take it all back. She would make them sorry they ever knocked.
“It’s Scott,” Riley said, pulling on his boxers. “Go get the door. He probably doesn’t need to see me here now.”
“Right.” Sophia pulled on her bathrobe and ran to the front door. It had to be an emergency. One of the girls. What now? Who was hurt or dying?
“What is it?” she managed to ask Scott, past the coal of fear stuck in her windpipe. “What’s wrong?”
“Diana,” Scott said, nodding towards his truck. “She’s cramping. We called Ivey, her midwife, and she said to go to the hospital. I know Diana is trying not to be scared but I can tell she’s terrified.”
“Oh no, what can I do?”
“Watch the girls while I take her to the hospital? It could be all night.”
“Of course.” She stepped out in nothing but her bathrobe and helped Scott carry the girls inside, grabbing Courtney from her car seat.
Diana was in the front, her seat reclined. “I just feel a little sick. Daddy’s taking me to the hospital to get checked out.”
“I want to go too, Mommy,” Chloe, Diana’s mini-me, said with a pout. “I can help.”
“No honey,” Diana said, “I need you to be the big sister and watch out for Courtney. Okay? That’s your job.”
“That’s my job,” Chloe said to anyone who would care to hear.
Scott barely took the time to kiss the girls before he raced back to the truck and his wife.
Sophia closed the door and wondered what on earth she would do about Riley. She couldn’t hide him in the bedroom all night, not that he was the hiding type. And if the next few words out of Chloe’s mouth involved the word ‘cereal’ in any way shape or form, she was going to need reinforcements. Back-up. As if he’d heard her thoughts, Riley emerged from the bedroom fully dressed.
“Hi, girls.”
“Uncle Riley!” Chloe said. “I’m in charge.”
“You are?” Riley asked, humor lacing his voice.
“Mommy said.”
“She said you were to watch out for your baby sister,” Sophia corrected, still holding a sleepy Courtney. Next thing Chloe would do, likely drunk with power, is insist they declare today National Cereal Day.
“Can me watch Dora, Auntie Fia?” A sleepy Courtney asked around the thumb in her mouth.
“Sure.” Sophia set both girls in front of the television set and started the DVD.
She then pulled Riley to the side and explained e
verything. “Sit with them for a minute. I’m going to go get something.”
“What are you getting?”
“Underwear,” she hissed.
He gave her a bedroom smile and damned if her womb didn’t contract. It was all these kids in here. Her body remembered and woke up to what she’d wanted for years with the man standing right in front of her. Sophia dressed quickly, pulling on a new pair of panties and bra and putting her trusty flannels back on. She gathered her phone, a couple of pillows and blankets for the couch and walked back into the family room.
Riley was seated between the girls, and Chloe appeared to be explaining the show to him.
“His name is Boots?” he asked.
“Boots. He’s good. But Swiper is mean,” Chloe said.
Sophia drew in a deep breath and took in the scene in front of her. Big man sitting between two little girls. Her womb did a flip and a cartwheel, for the love of God. This. She’d wanted this for so long her heart hurt a bit right now just watching the three of them.
Riley had said no. Absolutely not. They couldn’t have children, he’d insisted. They weren’t ready. No way. He wouldn’t even discuss it. It was one of the longest arguments they’d ever had. It pissed her off to no end the way he had religiously used protection, not even trusting her to take care of it. Her heart seized up a little even now, remembering. At the time, she’d thought he didn’t think her worthy of having his children, or capable of handling them. With the benefit of hindsight she now saw what a disaster it could have been.
And also that maybe Riley didn’t want to leave his children the way he left her for months on end. Lastly, the possibility that he might not have come home at all one of those many times.
Unless maybe he’d never wanted children at all. She’d always been too afraid to ask.
Now, Riley turned to her. “Hey, it’s your auntie. Why don’t you come sit down with us?”
“Yeah!” Courtney said, hopping up to bounce on the couch. “Come on!”
So Sophia gave a pillow and a blanket to each girl, then sat next to Riley where he’d made room between him and Chloe. His strong, solid arm went around her shoulders, pulling her in tight. Finding that she was not at all self-conscious in front of the girls as she thought she might be, Sophia buried her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes, breathing in his warm scent. He smelled like sleep and cotton.
A warning bell went off in Sophia’s head when she had the single, life-altering thought: I could really get used to this.
Sophia woke the next morning to the aromatic smell of coffee in the air. Was there a better scent in the world? She opened one eye and saw that she was back in her bed. Oh yeah, she vaguely remembered being carried here by Riley after falling sleep between two of her favorite people in the world.
No Riley next to her. She rolled over with a groan.
Diana! What had happened last night? She reached for her phone, and saw a flurry of text messages.
She’s getting checked out in the ER. From Scott.
Diana is anemic. Treating her.
Baby okay. Heartbeat.
No obvious baby penis. Too soon, Ivey says. Diana claims he might just be shy. That one was followed by a smiley face, which made Sophia grin.
Going home now. See you in the morning.
Sophia climbed out of bed. Where were the girls? Still on the couch? She peeked in the spare bedroom she’d decorated for her nieces and nephews in matching blue and pink hues and saw them both asleep, one in each twin bed. Hershee was snuggled at the foot of Chloe’s bed and looked up long enough to give her a soft doggy-sigh of pleasure. Seemed Riley had carried more than one person to bed last night. The thought of that dad-like behavior gave her mixed feelings. She still didn’t even know if he wanted children.
A deal breaker if he didn’t.
Why didn’t she know that? She asked every guy she met online if he liked children. Marco, she’d asked on their first date. But back when she’d first met Riley, she’d done a whole hell of a lot of assuming which got her into a tsunami of trouble. No. She couldn’t go there now. Closing the bedroom door quietly, Sophia shuffled to the kitchen and the coffee carafe. He’d made coffee. Okay, he was getting a gold star. Were those—? Yes, they were donuts from Gen’s Sweet Southern Buns bakery. Riley had probably gotten up at the crack of dawn to get them and bring them back here. Aside from obvious cop and donut jokes, she found the gesture endearing. There was a note on the box: for my favorite girls. Save me one.
Double swoon.
Sophia poured herself a mug of coffee and reminded herself that it would take more than coffee and donuts to get her to fall in love with him all over again. Coffee, donuts, and glorious sex. More than that for sure. So what else was there, exactly?
Must want children.
Must love dogs, Hershee in particular.
Must love Italian food and her restaurant.
Must support her career.
Must never lie to her.
She should make a list, although wasn’t it a little late to write a list when you already had a husband? Better to make the list before you meet the husband. Sophia sighed, took a sip of coffee and then dialed Angie.
“Who the hell is this?” she groaned.
“It’s eight o’clock in the morning. Don’t act like it’s early.”
“I went to bed late.”
“Well, wake up. I think I’m in trouble here.”
“What happened?”
“Riley … he’s just, I don’t know. Messing with my head.”
“What did he do?”
“First of all, he’s been spending the night. Twice now. And this morning, he’d made coffee before he left and brought me a box of donuts.”
“Someone should arrest the man.”
“This isn’t funny. I’m really worried.”
“About sleeping with a super sexy stud who makes you coffee in the morning and brings you donuts? Please do NOT pull a Diana on me!”
Sophia groaned. “No, I mean I’m worried I’m going to fall back in love with him again!”
Silence for a few beats. “And that would be so wrong why?”
“Are you listening to me at all? I don’t even know if… and it would be too fast and too soon.”
“Oh yes, another chance with the love of your life. And so soon! This is horrible news.”
Sophia was afraid to say it out loud. He still managed to scare her. Sure, he was no longer in a war zone but he was a police officer. And last she checked the news (which she vowed not to do again anytime soon) people didn’t much like police officers. There seemed to be a movement against them all over the country because of a few extremely bad cops. And yes, she still wished her hero husband would take a job as anything else but a moving target. Which again, made her a selfish person.
And then there were babies. Or lack of them, as the case may be. Riley hadn’t wanted children before and now…well, she was afraid to ask him.
“But what if we don’t think it through and then before you know it we wind up hurting each other again.”
“Oh, honey. If you think that, you need to tell him. Talk to him.”
She could talk to Riley, she’d always been able to do that. Unless, of course, she thought she might hurt him. That she’d never been able to do. Something about those eyes … she didn’t like it when they were filled with worry and sadness. Those tender liquid eyes managed to break her heart every time.
“Right. So I just won’t look in his eyes. Thanks. Good talk.” Sophia hung up, and went to wake the girls.
An hour later, she had the girls on a massive sugar high for which Diana was bound to thank Sophia later. She’d have to tell Diana to blame the chief of police.
When Sophia let Scott in the front door, both girls pounced on him. Hershee joined in, yipping and circling him. “Daddy! Daddy! Where’s Mommy? I had a donut with sprinkles! We watched Dora! Uncle Riley said Boots is silly!”
“Donuts for breakfast,”
Sophia confessed by way of explanation for the mania.
“Ah,” Scott said, prying one girl off his leg. “Uncle Riley?”
“He was over here last night.” Sophia dropped the subject and walked into the kitchen. “I’m so glad Diana’s okay. That sounded scary. Is she feeling better?”
Scott followed her. “She’s good now that we know the baby’s fine. Hey, so I talked to Riley.”
“You did? When?”
“It’s been a couple of weeks.” He helped himself to a cup from the cupboard and poured some coffee in it.
“Oh yeah? What about?”
“He told me something I didn’t know about until then. He didn’t mean to let it slip. Guess he assumed I already knew.”
Sophia put up a hand. “Okay. Let me explain—”
“I’m all ears.”
The girls were playing with Hershee in the adjoining family room, which she imagined gave him a little time.
“Okay, so I’m not divorced. It was just something I kept putting off until I’d waited so long I didn’t see the point anymore.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You let everyone believe you were. Remember that time at dinner, your dad asked whether you’d taken care of the papers the lawyer sent and you said … I think you’re exact words were something like, ‘all taken care of, Daddy-o’. I’m paraphrasing.”
“I said that because it was going be taken care of soon, and I meant it at the time but then I misplaced the papers. I found them again when I moved, and it seemed like maybe they might have expired. Or something.”
Scott smirked over his coffee mug. “You know you’re going to have to explain all this to your dad.”
“I have plenty of time to do that.”
Scott glanced at his watch. “I’d say about twelve hours, give or take.”
“What?”
“He and my mom are headed back home. I told them not to come, because we have you and we have Diana’s mother nearby, but my mom insisted they cut their trip short. She wants to be nearby so she can help out in case Diana needs to be on bed rest. A strong possibility.” He gazed at his bouncing girls and sighed. “So get ready. You have some ‘splaining to do.”
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