Sy squeezed his eyes closed, “That hurts.”
Grainger’s fingers froze but they didn’t move away, “What does?”
Sy’s eyes reopened, “My dick. Touch me, Grainger. Please.”
Grainger hesitated for only a few seconds before he groaned Sylas’ name, slid his hand down the front of Sy’s pants and slammed their mouths together.
Sylas had to clench tight to keep from cumming the second that Grainger wrapped his fist around his dick.
“Grainger,” he groaned into the man’s mouth just before Grainger’s thick tongue tangled with his.
Sylas groaned again, and his hips punched forward. He didn’t want this to be over too soon, but it felt like it had been forever since someone else had touched him.
Grainger’s hand froze, and he pulled his mouth away.
Sylas kept his eyes closed for a few seconds out of fear of what he’d see when he opened them. Would he see disappointment? He knew his dick was just average and had been told by others that it wasn’t enough. Is that what Grainger was thinking right now? Was he regretting starting this and trying to think of a polite way out of it?
Sylas wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing that disappointment in Grainger’s eyes.
“Not here,” Grainger whispered.
That had Sy’s eyes blinking open because the man sounded…..wrecked. Like he was just as turned on as Sy was. Just as out of control.
That wasn’t possible was it?
“What?” he whispered.
“The first time I watch you cum, Sylas? I don’t want it to be in a bathroom, even if it’s my own bathroom. Let me take you to bed, Sy, please?”
Was he seriously asking that?
“God, yes,” Sylas said with a groan.
Before he had a chance to protest, he was swept up in Grainger’s strong arms.
He carried Sy to the bed and gently laid him down. Then he climbed over him and lay down next to him.
“I’m not going to break, Grainger,” Sy said, a little disappointed that he wasn’t on top of him.
“I know that, Sy. But humor me, please? If I see even the slightest wince, it’s going to freak me out.”
Sylas’ fingers played with the soft hair on Grainger’s pecs as he said, “Babe, we’re about the have anal sex, at least I hope we are. I don’t care how much prep you do, there’s always gonna be wincing, at least at first.”
Grainger smiled, “I know that, smart ass. I meant wincing from actual pain, not the burn from being stretched. Even I know the difference.”
Sylas grinned, “Well, that’s a relief. Now weren’t we kissing, and weren’t you touching my dick?”
“We were and I was. But I mean it, Sy. I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. So, while I’d love nothing more than to stare into your eyes and see you fall apart when I’m fucking you, that means a bending of your body that I’m not willing to risk. Even if your legs are around my waist, it’s still bending you when I’m thrusting, and if I drop down and rub against your scar, that would hurt, and I’d never forgive myself.”
“Then how do you want me? On my stomach?”
“No, that might also hurt you. I want you on your side, with your back to me, okay?”
“Grainger,” he said as he slowly turned around, “I’m pretty sure I’d stand on my head and bark like a dog if you asked me to.”
Grainger chuckled as he tucked his chest against Sy’s back, “No barking, but you’re welcome to howl at the moon if the desire strikes you.”
And then he began kissing Sy’s neck, and all the breath and witty retorts left his body.
Grainger’s left hand slid to the left side under Sy’s head, to cup his jaw and urge him to turn his head. The moment he did, Grainger leaned forward and began devouring Sy’s mouth again.
Sylas lost himself in the kiss, barely registering the snick of a lube cap.
The only thing that changed was a sharp inhale of breath the moment Grainger’s lube slicked finger touched his hole and that was only because the lube was cold, not because he was nervous.
Grainger loosened his lips enough to whisper, “You’re sure?”
“God, yes,” Sylas said and then he exhaled in relief the instant Grainger’s thick finger pushed inside.
After only a few slides in and out, Sylas wantonly groaned, “More, please.”
Grainger added a second finger, sliding them together once, twice and then, mercifully spreading them.
Grainger grunted into Sylas’ mouth when Sy reached a hand back and wrapped it around Grainger’s thick cock.
Grainger tore his mouth away from Sy’s and sucked deep breaths of air into his lungs. He pressed his forehead to Sy’s shoulder. “Sy,” he said on a throaty rumble.
Something shifted in the air between them.
This wasn’t fucking anymore, it was so much more. And Sylas wanted it to be everything.
When he felt Grainger’s fingers slide out, he grabbed Grainger’s wrist, “I’m clean, Grainger.”
Grainger’s heart tap danced against Sy’s back, nearly matching the machine gun rhythm of Sylas’ own as he waited for Grainger’s response.
“Sy, I, I’ve never.”
“Neither have I, babe.”
“You’re sure?”
Sylas turned his head enough to look into Grainger’s eyes, “As sure as I am that you love me.”
“Sylas?”
“Yeah?”
“Let go of my fucking wrist.”
Sylas released his hand and closed his eyes, not wanting Grainger to see disappointment in them if he chose to still wear the condom.
“Open your eyes, Sy. I want to see how it feels,” he said as he began pressing the thick head of his cock against Sylas, silently begging the muscles to let him in.
Sylas pushed a breath out, forcing his body to relax and then….
“Oh god, Grainger,” Sylas moaned as his eyes rolled up in his head.
“Tell me,” Grainger said on a grunt, his shaking voice the only thing betraying his controlled demeanor.
“I’ve never felt, oh Jesus, Grainger, it’s so good.”
Grainger never forced his way in, but he never pulled back either. He just gently pushed until his pelvis pressed against the round globes of Sy’s ass.
“Sylas,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“Sylas.”
“I know.”
Sy.”
“Love me, Grainger.”
Grainger pulled his hips back and then slid back inside.
“Grainger,” Sylas whispered as his arm reached over his head to grip on the hair on the back of Grainger’s head.
Grainger began kissing and nipping Sy’s shoulder and collarbone as his hips began to move faster.
“Grainge,” Sy said and then he gasped, “Jesus, fuck!” he shouted as his cock began shooting pearl drops all over Grainger’s bed.
Grainger watched over Sy’s shoulder as his man came apart. He punched his dick in twice more and then he began filling up the first, last, and only man that he would ever call his.
Thirty-Five
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaughn
He stood in the open doorway and watched the two men in the bed. It was very clear by the softness of his voice and the gentle fingers caressing over Casey’s buzzed scalp and down his back, that Miguel had feelings for his brother. Affection at the very least. Maybe more.
Vaughn couldn’t decide how he felt about that. His brother was bi, or more accurately, demi. He wasn’t the hookup kind of guy, needing an emotional attachment first before being attracted to someone of either sex. To their homophobic dad, anything other than hetero was wrong and therefore required his fists.
So, seeing his brother in another man’s arms was definitely not the problem.
The problem was that he knew without a doubt that Miguel was at least partly responsible for Casey being hooked on drugs. That was completely unacceptable. The man in hi
m needed answers.
The brother in him needed to protect.
The cop in him was struggling to find patience.
“Let’s go get some juice and food ready for him,” Caysun said, lightly bumping Vaughn’s shoulder.
Vaughn narrowed his eyes as he looked over his shoulder at him.
Speaking of answers…..
Caysun sighed as he pulled the borrowed t-shirt over his head. Then he bent to scoop Vaughn’s vomit-soiled clothes up. “Let’s get these in the wash and then we’ll talk in the kitchen,” he said, moving past Vaughn, not waiting for an answer as he walked out of the room.
Vaughn took one more look at the two men in the bed and then quietly shut the door.
He found Caysun rummaging around in the kitchen and he could hear the washer going in the pantry/mudroom.
“What do you need my help with?”
“You could stir the soup,” Caysun said, indicating the pot on the stove.
Vaughn walked over, picked up the bamboo spoon and stuck it into the creamy tomato liquid.
He was dying to ask Caysun to why he was the one who’d had to care for his brother., but he also wanted the man to want to tell him. So, he waited.
“My brother,” Caysun said with a sigh as he buttered bread for grilled cheese sandwiches.
Vaughn turned to look at him and watched Caysun turn around to face him, leaning back against the counter.
“My parents were,” he sighed and looked to the side, “Not that involved with us. They pretty much ignored us once we started school. Casey is younger but, he struggled more trying to find himself. He did stupid things to try to fit in.”
“I’m so sorry Cay. That must’ve been so hard on him, on all of you.”
“It was not something that any fifteen-year-old should face, but I did and it became my reality for a decade.”
“Jesus,” Vaughn mumbled then he stared into the soup, watching the spoon turn around and around. “How old was he?”
“The first time he got hooked? “Fourteen.”
“Fuck. Is, uh, is Casey going to face the same thing? Is he going to have to fight the cravings too?”
Caysun knew that he had to be brutally honest now, for both of them, “I’m not sure. He’s never been a drug user, at least not when I knew him.”
“Not when he was younger either.”
“That hopefully will work in his favor, but the reality is that he might, Vaughn. Heroin is a seductive bitch, once she sinks her claws into you, it’s hard to get them out.”
Vaughn nodded as he turned back to stare at the soup. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Cay,” he said.
“I’ll be here to help you, Vaughn.”
“No, I mean I don’t know what I’m doing here, with us,” he said as he looked over his shoulder.
A knock at the door interrupted Caysun’s response and halted their conversation at the worst possible time.
Cay started to push off the counter, but Vaughn held his hand out, “Don’t move,” he said as he pulled his gun from the back of his pants and held it down by his thigh.
Before he got to the door, he looked back at Cay, “If anything happens, lock yourself in the pantry and call for help.”
Caysun nodded and then he watched Vaughn peek through the curtains and then step to the other side of the door with his back against the thick log wall.
“Who is it?”
“Tegan and Cade. Morgan Doyle sent us.”
Vaughn slid his phone from his sweatpants pocket and scrolled it open to, what Caysun assumed, was a photo.
“Step back from the door so I can see you,” he said. Then he glanced through the window. Somewhat satisfied, he slid his phone back into his pocket, unbolted the door and opened it.
“You must be Kepler,” the first man through the door said.
“Deputy US Marshal Vaughn Kepler,” Vaughn said as he stuck out his hand.
“Tegan Holt,” Tegan said and then he motioned to the man behind him, “Cade Barrow.”
Cade got right down to business, “We ran the perimeter already. You’re clear out there for now. We’re going to split our shifts into four-hour shots with Teeg taking first watch. We just wanted to introduce ourselves, maybe get a bite to eat and use the loo.”
Tegan turned towards him, “Use the loo?”
“Hey, I’m trying to be polite here.”
Caysun stepped over, chuckling, “You always were a crass fucker.”
“Cay? Is that really you? How the fuck have you been?” Tegan said as he gave the man a hug.
“Eh, doing better now that I’m not working for that douche.”
Tegan snorted, “Yeah. File that in the ‘what the fuck was I thinking’ box”
“Definitely,” Caysun said as he leaned over to shake Cade’s hand, “Caysun Rourke.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of you. The strawberry debacle of oh-five is part of Morgan’s training repertoire.”
Caysun rolled his eyes, “Fucking marvelous. Let me go check to see if the bathroom is free. I’ll be right back.”
As he disappeared down the hall, Vaughn turned back to the two men, “I can take shifts too.”
“Perfect. We’ll work you into the rotation. I talked to Morg, he said O’Toole has disappeared from all of his usual places.”
“Which means he’s looking for us.”
“Probably.”
“Then it’s game on, boys. Game on.”
Thirty-Six
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sylas
Grainger continued to press gentle kisses to Sy’s neck as they both came down from their orgasm high. This was the part that he wasn’t used to.
Hookups usually wanted to get gone the second the orgasm haze wore off. And Sylas had always been more than okay with that. Because once the post orgasmic glow had dissipated for him, that’s when the anxiety crept back in; was I any good? did I do something stupid? how do I look now? should I say something? is he having regrets? am I having regrets?
All of that would run through his head in the thirty seconds or so that it would take before whoever he was with was reaching for their clothes with a mumbled excuse about forgetting this or that and needing to leave early.
The second the door clicked shut, Sylas would always breathe a huge sigh of relief.
This time felt different, both because of who he was with and because he felt different.
But he damn sure wasn’t cured.
“What’s worrying you?” Grainger whispered into his ear.
“How did you know?”
“You’re biting your lip and squeezing the hell out of my poor sheets.”
Sylas flinched and opened his hand.
Grainger reached down to slide his hand over the top of his and close his fingers, “It’s okay, Sy. They’re just cotton, I don’t care. What I do care about is that you’re anxious about something and I’m afraid that I caused it.”
Sy gasped as he tried to flip to his back but Grainger’s hand stopped him by squeezing his hips, “Easy there slugger, let me move the jewels out of the way first,” he said with a rumbling chuckle.
Another gasp from Sy, “Oh god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” he said as he reached down to gently cup Grainger’s sack.
“You can kiss them later, I promise. First, tell me what’s bothering you.”
He sighed as he tucked his head into Grainger’s chest, “It’s just my inadequacies rearing their ugly head.”
Grainger’s fingers began sliding through Sy’s hair, “Tell me what they are.”
“My dick is average at best.”
“Your dick is perfect because it’s a part of you. I can’t wait to feel it inside me.”
Sy tilted his head back, “Really? You want that?”
“I do, Sy. Very much.”
Sylas’ chin trembled, and a few tears slid out of the corners of his eyes.
Grainger wiped them away with his thumbs, “What baby? Why are you sad?”
“I’m not, I’m just…...nobody’s ever asked me to do that, nobody’s ever wanted me to.”
Grainger smiled, “Then I’m honored to be your first.”
Sy lowered his head again and tried to sort through the storm of emotions swirling in his head.
“I just want to make sure I’m enough,” he finally whispered.
Grainger leaned over, wrapping Sylas in his arms as he whispered, “Sy, you are more than I ever thought was possible in my life.”
“But, what if that changes?”
“It won’t”
“It’s just,” Sy said and then he sighed.
“It’s just what, babe? Talk to me.”
“It’s different in here than it is out there.”
Grainger kissed the top of his head, “You’re right, it is. Do you feel up to a short drive?”
“Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.”
Grainger climbed off the bed and held out his hand to Sy, “Come. I’ll get us both cleaned up, so we don’t smell like spunk.”
Sy glanced down at his body, “I kinda like smelling like it. It reminds me what you and I just did.”
“And what we’ll do again, very soon. But first I want to show you off.”
Sy froze, “Wh-wh-what?”
Grainger stepped in front of him, holding Sy’s hands down by his sides, “Breathe, baby. Take a few breaths for me, okay?”
He squeezed his eyes shut as he nodded and gulped in air. Sy thought Grainger was just going to take him for a drive in his car. Was he actually taking him to meet family? Friends? Sylas could feel the black edges of panic wrapping him in its arms.
What would he wear? His clothes had all been lost in the fire.
He was still pale and slow-moving after the surgery. Would they see him as weak?
What would he say if they asked him about his injury?
What…..
“Sy? We’re just going to the coffeeshop down the street. I’m usually in there every morning so they know me just by name and sight only. I wanted you to try one of Nina’s blueberry muffins because they taste like heaven.”
Sy blew out a relieved breath as he wrapped his arms around Grainger’s back.
Grainger ran his hands up and down Sylas’ spine, “I’m so sorry, baby. I should have told you instead of trying to surprise you.”
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