by Kylie Chan
I returned to the main room and proceeded with my first daily task. I turned some of the floor nanos white, constructed a stylus, and proceeded to make an exceptionally large sign – the full width of the floor – out of the nano material. I wrote on it in Euro and cat, and it said: I need dragon medical attention soon or I will die.
I didn’t have anything to measure the passage of time. The ship’s lighting was constantly dim, with no distinction between day and night. I marked the wall every time I went to sleep, and I had been on the warp ship for forty-seven sleeps. Adjusting for short naps where I didn’t know how long I slept, I had to conclude that I had no idea how long I’d been there. I wouldn’t start feeling the effects of being dragonstruck for at least three months, but that didn’t stop me from having a galloping heart and difficulty breathing sometimes. Stress. Just stress.
I was running out of things to do. I’d been recording my memories on the nano material and binding them into a nano book. I made the huge sign every time I woke up, and when I went to sleep the sign disappeared. I practised constructing things out of the nano material – it was great for things that required flexibility, but hopeless for more rigid surfaces. I tried to make a chair and failed because the material wouldn’t hold the shape.
I wondered how long my sanity would hold up. I went to the window and looked out – the star field was glorious, even through the warp distortion. With the roughly one-to-six time ratio, I’d only been on the ship for about a week to those outside. It was possible that the dragons hadn’t even noticed my absence, and the cats may be hiding my location from them.
Had the cat leader known that I was telepathically transmitting to the dragons? The fact I was incarcerated in a warp field suggested that he knew – it was the only way to block telepathic communication. But why didn’t he just expel me, instead of holding me captive? Maybe I was another hostage – and the only telepathic one, meaning that I had to be held incommunicado. The whole thing made no sense.
I picked up the stylus and made another sign. Why are you doing this to me? You are harming my mental health. This isolation is torture and will drive me insane.
I sat on the floor and rubbed my hands over my face. The tears came by themselves, and I shook with them. I was breaking down more and more often, and I couldn’t stand being alone. I was desperate to get out and wanted to get up and run in circles, throwing myself at the walls. I giggled as I wiped my eyes – by the time I died of being dragonstruck, I would probably be too insane to care. I sniffled and wiped my nose on my sleeve, then scowled at how stiff it was. I only had one set of clothes. I washed them in the water, but they were starting to smell anyway. Busy. Busy. I needed to find something to do.
I picked up the deck of playing cards that I’d made out of the nanos. Solitaire would keep me occupied for a while. I dealt the cards, and my mind wandered as I made the moves. Putting me in a warp field was an effective way to stop me from communicating telepathically, so it made a kind of twisted sense. I shivered; at least they hadn’t cut my legs off – and why hadn’t they done that? I turned the poem over in my head again. What was the significance of the difference in words? How long was I going to be alone here? And where was this warp ship taking me?
I fell over sideways and curled up. What was the point?
I bolted to my feet when the lights dimmed. Silence rang in my ears – the warp drive had stopped. I choked with sobs of joy at the thought of being released. Even if they’d come to kill me it would be better than being stuck here alone.
The door flew open and a young cat – slightly smaller than me, so probably in its mid-teens – charged in, followed by two burly cats who appeared to be guards. Oliver’s father followed them with Oliver, broadcasting confusion and distress, bringing up the rear.
‘And she’s been here how long?’ the small cat shouted at Oliver’s father.
Oliver’s father was meeker and more subservient than I’d ever seen him – he broadcast fear. This young cat must be powerful.
‘Four meshkas,’ Oliver’s father said.
‘You kept her for four meshkas. Alone.’ The young cat rounded on Oliver’s father. ‘You kept a virgin female – who you owed Aishishistra to – alone for four meshkas.’ It growled low in its throat. ‘I cannot believe that you broke Aishishistra!’
Oliver’s father stiffened and spoke with dignity. ‘Aishishistra is not owed to aliens.’
The young cat let loose a string of words that I didn’t understand, and Oliver’s ears went back. All the other cats cringed. These terms weren’t in the vocabulary that the dragons had given me, so the young cat was probably swearing – but what was Aishishistra?
I opened my mouth to ask but Oliver frantically shook his head.
‘You really thought we wouldn’t find her?’ The young cat was furious. ‘Stupidity like this is a sign that your data has started to decline. Maybe we should give your nanos to someone else. Aishishistra is owed to the one who finds the child. She found your child. Aishishistra is owed.’
‘She is an alien—’ Oliver’s father began.
The young cat pulled an energy weapon from one of his attendants’ holsters and shot Oliver’s father in the face. Half his head burned off from his shoulder up, and he fell.
A cloud of black nanos – so thick that they were opaque – coalesced out of the fallen cat’s body into the air. They gathered together, and then shot towards Oliver. He ducked and put his hands over his head, and a cloud of pale blue nanos screamed out of the young cat towards the black cloud. The two clouds of nanos swirled around each other, and the young cat turned the weapon on Oliver.
‘No!’ I shouted, and ran to block it. The energy beam hit me as I reached to cover Oliver. My right arm disintegrated, taking some of my shoulder and side with it, and I fell.
‘Whatever Aishishistra is, I think you owe it to me now,’ I said as the floor slammed into me.
There was an awful loud wind rushing in my ears and I was lying on my back. I couldn’t see properly, and Oliver was shouting at me.
The words coalesced but didn’t have much meaning. ‘Hang on, Mum, we’re getting you help,’ he said.
‘I love you,’ I said. I couldn’t see properly, everything was dancing white lights. Oliver was there somewhere. ‘I love you so much, Ollie.’ The air was too thick to breathe, and I gasped with the effort. ‘Tell David I love him, too. Mum, love you, Mum. And if you ever see Geo . . . Geor . . .’ Her name wouldn’t form, I didn’t have enough air.
‘Stop trying to talk,’ he said. ‘We’re arranging a dragon to transport you back to the Empire. Don’t worry, even if you die we’ll move you to a new body.’
‘Keep me alive!’ I wheezed. ‘I want to keep these memories! Take a copy of them before you shift me across.’
‘We’ll do our best, Mum,’ he said, and the rushing became loud again.
*
I was freezing cold. My fingers were numb and my insides quivered as I shivered. Where was I? Everything was floaty and meaningless, and I was so damn cold.
A warm woman’s voice appeared in my head. Her tone was gentle and reassuring. You are safe. Relax. You are cared for. Don’t move, you are receiving important medical treatment.
I tried to reply to her and nothing came out. I wanted to ask . . . What did I want to ask?
The voice returned. You have had an accident. We are caring for you. You are safe.
Oh, I’d done this script . . . What script?
Don’t try to remember where you are. You are heavily sedated; try not to think too much. Relax. Float. Don’t think about anything.
Yeah, and I’ll try not to think of purple elephants while I’m at it. What happened? I knew this script. Whoa, but everything was – as she said – floaty. I hadn’t been sedated like this since that time . . .
Oh.
Oh.
All right, I knew what to do. Relax into it and try not to use the new brain too much while the neurons settled into their pathways.
Is everyone okay? I broadcast telepathically. I wasn’t really sure who I was concerned about, but I was damn sure there were people I cared for who needed to be safe.
The warm voice sounded amused. Everybody on the ship heard that. Yes, everybody is okay. Nobody is hurt. The people you should not be thinking about are waiting patiently for your return.
All right, all I had to do now was warm up – damn it was cold! – and let the process take its course. Just this small interaction had been exhausting. Sleep sounded very good.
*
The Empress spoke into my head. Jian?
Yes?
How do you feel about coming out? It’s a little soon but you’re really needed. Oliver has brought another cat with him and I need to know if they can be trusted.
I tried to move and remembered where I was. If I’m needed, I’m ready, but you can trust him.
Marque lifted me out of the liquid and I felt the chill. I opened my eyes, and the ceiling came into focus. Marque rotated me so that I was vertical, and placed me in front of a chair, ready for me to fall into it.
I stood without difficulty and looked around for some clothes. They were on the table and I spoke to Marque while I pulled them on. ‘Status report.’
‘Twenty-four hours have passed since you died. You’re on Masako’s ship; the Empress herself collected you from the cat ship. Oliver contacted us by scales to come and get you.’
‘Is Oliver okay?’
‘Yes. He’s here, and he told us what happened. The cats haven’t communicated directly.’
‘What other cat did he bring with him?’
‘A female. Oliver said he rescued her.’
‘I think I know who she is. What happened to Masako?’
‘She was biologically infiltrated by nanos when she folded into orbit. They destroyed the telepathic parts of her brain, then ate her from the inside out.’
‘Is she okay, though?’
‘She took her stone out before she left, and I’ve put it in a new body for her, but she saw a recording of herself being eaten and she’s very shaken. She doesn’t want to be near cat space, so she left her ship here for the Empress to use and went to the scales communication centre to act as communication relay. The Empress is here; she wanted to speak to you personally.’
‘Good. I know where the humans are. We can get them out.’
‘This way,’ Marque said, and I followed a sphere to a point in the floor where I was lifted to the gallery level of the ship. The walls were transparent, giving a view of space in a location I didn’t recognise. ‘You don’t need to rescue the humans. The cats are sending them back to us on a warp ship.’
Oliver and the Empress were waiting for me on the gallery of Masako’s ship. Oliver rushed to me and embraced me.
‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ he said, and squeezed me hard. ‘Thank god we’re out of there.’
I pulled back to see into his bright green eyes. ‘You okay, Ollie? He killed your father . . .’
He scowled. ‘That place is so fucked up,’ he said. ‘Everything is full of nanos – the air, the water, and their bodies. Fortunately when you’re far enough away from the cat homeworld, the nanos have no power source, so they run out of juice and die. The damn things were everywhere.’ He gestured for me to sit on a couch that Marque had provided for us on the deck. ‘The nanos saturated my father’s biology. They kept track of the state of his brain – and when he died, they tried to overwrite mine.’
‘That’s how they deal with mortality?’ the Empress said, incredulous. ‘We tried that, before we found out about the nature of souls. We grew clones, and Marque wrote the memories onto the clone brains for us – but the result was just a copy, and very often the personality of the inhabiting soul would conflict with the past experiences. It was just a copy, and creating a copy of yourself doesn’t solve the mortality problem when the original ends up just as dead. And overwriting the memories doesn’t work; without an active soulstone the result is your soul with his memories . . .’ She went silent.
‘Yeah. That would be weird,’ Oliver said.
‘Not weird. Toxic,’ she said. ‘If your father wrote over your brain, your soul would be incompatible with his past actions. If you do that . . . the result is mental illness. It breaks your soul.’
‘That explains some of the quirks of their society,’ he said.
‘Quirks. That’s one word for it,’ she said.
‘He said you would just witness his life!’ I said. ‘Not destroy your memories and replace them with his own.’
‘Yeah, that’s a lie,’ he said with a sad smile. ‘It’s not commonly known, even among the cats themselves – I managed to find out with careful snooping. Only males in the ruling class can do it. My father’s nanos tried to overwrite me on his death, but the other cat stopped them and tried to kill me to avoid him being resurrected in my body. Your obvious attempt to save me, under the rules of Aishishistra, means that he has to let me live, but I’m surplus to requirements, so they’re happy to see the back of me.’ He shook his head. ‘We knew they were fucked up, but this is beyond belief. If my father hadn’t made the mistake of locking you up and breaking Aishishistra, we would still be down there.’
‘What the hell is Aishishistra anyway?’ I said.
‘Sometimes the mothers find out that their child’s brain is going to be overwritten and they make a break for it, taking the kid with them.’ He shrugged. ‘That’s what my mother did with me. Stole a ship and ran. It doesn’t happen often – most of them are caught before they get too far – but it does happen. I’m the first one for two generations.’
‘Your mother ran away to save you – and I killed her,’ I said with remorse.
‘Oh, no,’ he said. ‘She would not have hesitated to kidnap a hundred of Earth’s children to sell and then blow up the planet. You did the right thing. Aishishistra is the debt that society owes to anyone who returns the clone. That person will receive anything they ask for, for the rest of their life. The ruling class want to be very sure that no female ever attempts to escape with their firstborn.’
I filled with understanding. ‘And I returned you, so they owed me. Even though I did it without realising.’
‘You set a precedent by returning me to my father. You were the first non-cat to be owed. There was a big argument happening in the background while you were there, and the Senate decided that Aishishistra is owed to anyone, regardless of species. That was why he silenced you inside the warp field – you have a unique status among the cats and they have to do anything you ask of them while you’re there. I don’t think they’ll let you back, and they may try to kill you by “accident” to avoid the debt.’
I shook my head. ‘I sat there for weeks trying to work out why they did that to me.’
‘They did it because of internal politics that make no sense,’ he said. ‘And just so you know: I brought my wife with me.’
‘Marque said you brought a female cat, I thought that might be her. You didn’t bring her against her will?’
‘No. She wasn’t pregnant, but she was “contaminated” by being with me. She hadn’t fulfilled her duty of providing the clone for my father to move into when I was too old, so she was expected to commit suicide. I’m delighted that she wants to live – there’s a really smart, capable young woman in there when you get past the brain washing.’
‘Would she like to come up here to the gallery?’ the Empress said. She waved one claw at the glittering stars around us. ‘We can blank the walls if it will make her more comfortable.’
He studied his feet. ‘Right now she’s hiding in her quarters, and Marque says it would be best to leave her alone. It will take her a while to adjust.’ He looked up into my eyes. ‘It’s very hard when you can never go home again. Everything is alien to her. She’s homesick already.’
‘We’ll look after her,’ I said.
‘We will. She has a lot to unlearn, she’s heavily brainwashed. The wh
ole society is so messed up. Females are indentured servants until they have their first child; they’ve been engineered to produce a clone of the father for the first child. Our reproduction seems to be like Earth cats; our women can produce children from multiple fathers in the same litter. They have litters of two or three. The males didn’t like the uncertainty, so altering the females was the first thing they did when they discovered genetic engineering.’ He shook his head. ‘Their reproduction – my reproduction – is as messed up as everything else. When we have some private time, I really need to unpack all of this with you, Mum. Being with a cat is completely different to being with a dragon.’
‘I’m here,’ I said.
‘So they produce small litters? What about the clone business? That’s the first child?’ the Empress said.
‘That’s right. The first one, the clone, is born alone. This makes virginity highly prized, and virgins are bartered between families to produce the clones. They’re held by the family until they produce that goddamn child, then they’re free to live a life of their own. Everybody seems to think that this is so fucking noble of them it makes me sick.’ He gestured towards the back of the ship where the quarters were. ‘She was considered especially martyred because I’m such a barbarian. She was being celebrated as the one who would save my father’s line at great cost to herself, and she gained as much self-pitying mileage out of it as she could.’
‘Damn,’ I said. ‘You’re right about it being fucked up.’
‘That’s just the start,’ he said. ‘Ee-yi-oh-ue had bought in to the whole “saving my family from the mines” thing so hard – but there are families who go there all the time to sell their children. Once again, the children are celebrated as martyrs. This whole society is built on celebrating people who willingly let others hurt them. It is messed up. Fucking child slavery, and nobody seems to think there’s anything wrong with it.’