Don’t look away. Don’t look away.
“I’ve been told that story before. It just doesn’t work out,” she managed to say, voice raspy.
Thomas’s gaze dropped to her lips then returned to her eyes.
“I’m sorry you think in that way,” Thomas said. “I would still like to work with you.”
“I’m not going to kneel,” she snapped, irritated at his insistence.
“I understand,” he said, tone soothing. “It’s not what I meant.”
Kendra sighed. “Sorry, but I really think your style of photography doesn’t match mine.”
“I agree. I take pictures of men and women at their most vulnerable moments. It can be in the throes of passion or simply a gesture between two lovers or a single person. It’s intimate, personal.”
“As if you were a voyeur in someone’s life,” Staerling supplied. Kendra jumped. How had she forgotten he was still there?
“Exactly. As you said, Kendra, our styles don’t match. You hide behind a mask of strength. No, I had another proposition for you. I’m working on a book.”
“A book?”
“I’m endorsing it,” Staerling supplied.
Kendra cocked her head. Thomas sucked in his cheeks, clearly speaking about this was not easy for him.
“It’s a project, kind of secret. I’ve been taking pictures of people in the industry, without their makeup, without the paraphernalia of this world. Just them. I’ve done interviews, transcribed them.” His eyes lit up. “I want to give people the chance to know the truth behind it all. Fetish models, porn, erotica, they are real people with emotions and feelings.”
Kendra’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
He nodded. “I want to show the world that behind the luxury, the decadence, the sensuality, there are just people with lives and life stories.”
“Wow.” She stared at him speechlessly. “Have you had many artists agree to this? After all, you’re basically exposing them. There could be backlash.”
He smiled. “More than you’d think. I can’t give you any names. And yeah, a lot of them have refused because of that. They’re worried they’ll lose popularity, won’t be called again, fans won’t see them in the same way, or whatnot.”
Kendra smiled. “I understand. I mean, we live out of our image and if you take that from us—”
“Then all you have is people.”
Kendra frowned. “Yes.”
“So, what do you say? Since a fetish session is out of the question, how about one or two interview sessions over coffee and a normal picture dressed in street clothes?”
Kendra pressed her lips together.
“I’m not sure” she admitted. She was interested in the project for it was something different, daring, and out of her comfort zone, but at the same time, it could ruin her career. She sucked in her bottom lip.
“What’s the publishing date?” she asked.
“To be determined.”
“Soon,” Staerling piped in.
“I see.” She shifted her weight.
Thomas smiled, teasing her. “Are you afraid, Kendra Williams?”
Her gaze snapped to his, the playfulness in his eyes reaching out to her.
“Tell you what,” he said. “How about we do this? I get the information and then you can decide if you want to be a part of it or not after. I will respect your wishes whatever you desire.”
Warmth flooded Kendra’s cheeks at his words, his tone laced with a heavy promise that implied more than just a work agreement. She pressed her lips together. Thomas looked at her expectantly, the blue in his eyes calling her to take a step forward and be brave. She nodded.
“Okay,” she said at length.
Thomas’s smile made her heart kick up a notch and her palms turned clammy.
“Let’s exchange numbers, shall we? I’ll call you tomorrow and we can set up a date.”
Chapter Four
The café Thomas had chosen was small and cozy, with cute round wooden tables and petite red teapots filled with brown sugar. Black and white photographs hung on the wall, framed by plants. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon buns permeated the air and her stomach growled.
Kendra’s heart somersaulted at the sight of Thomas. He sat busily typing on his computer near a large window looking out to an empty park. She took in a deep breath. He’d promised her that even though he’d record the interview, that if she didn’t want to, he wouldn’t publish it. For some crazy reason, she’d felt compelled to believe him. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for her career to end, but she also knew she didn’t have many good years left. She was approaching forty, and pure luck and good genes had enabled her to pull through for the last five years. A lot of her counterparts had gotten plastic surgery, but the needle scared her, so she avoided it.
So why had she come? Because of Thomas.
They’d parted ways after exchanging numbers at Staerling’s party, but she’d spent the rest of the night thinking about him, wondering where he was, and if he would call her. He did. The very next morning and when he’d suggested meeting in the afternoon, she’d accepted.
It was almost as if she needed to see him again. She didn’t quite understand why. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had sex recently or needed a guy in her life, but something about the rugged blond had her body and mind going haywire. Perhaps, it was the blue of his eyes, or the way his lips quirked, or his easygoing yet dominant air.
Thomas caught sight of her and stood. Smiling warmly, he waved her over. Kendra bit her lip. He’d rolled the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, displaying strong forearms. Her pussy pulsed in erotic recognition.
“Hi, Kendra. I’m so glad you could make it.” Thomas offered her his hand to shake. Kendra hesitated before finally taking it. Electricity traveled up her arm, across her chest, and burned a wick to her clit.
“Have a seat.”
“Thanks.”
After taking off her coat, she placed it on the hook behind the table along with her purse.
Was it his respect? Any other man would have taken the chance to give her a hug and cop a feel, but Thomas, supposedly her number-one fan, had simply shaken hands with her.
“What’s going through your mind?” he asked as she sat. “You’re awfully quiet.”
Was it his bluntness? It threw her off guard. It was as if he had no secrets to keep and therefore assumed the people around him didn’t either.
“I was just wondering why you chose to give me a handshake instead of a hug.”
“Are we friends? Lovers? Family?”
“I guess not,” she admitted.
“Then I shake hands. I’m not going to impose on you,” he said. “I won’t give you a hug you don’t want.”
“But you want it.”
“What I want isn’t relevant.”
“You’re my number-one fan. Don’t you want to touch what you’ve been fantasizing about for ages?”
Thomas leaned back in his seat. “Yes, I do, but because I admire you so much, it’s only more logical for me to respect you as a person. If I didn’t, I would just be some horny asshole.”
Kendra snorted. “Unfortunately, that hasn’t been my experience with most men.”
Thomas frowned, his jaw clenching and his lips thinning. “I apologize for my fellow men. Some are a shame to the gender. Would you like to order anything? Coffee? Tea?”
“Green tea, no sugar.”
“Got it. Be back in a sec. Make yourself comfortable.”
Kendra watched him approach the counter and chat with the barista as if they were old friends. His laughter reached her, and goosebumps sprouted on her arms. She looked out the window, recognizing the fluttery feeling in her stomach even if it’d been some time since she’d experienced it. Attraction at the forefront, mingled with the will to know more about Thomas, to dig deep and see how she could please him.
“Done.” Kendra jumped at the sound of Thomas’s voice. He sat down across the tab
le from her. “She said she’d bring it to us when it’s ready.”
“Wow. Great. Thanks.”
“No problem. So, how have you been? Did you enjoy Staerling’s party?”
Kendra ran her fingers through her hair, aware of Thomas’s gaze on her. She’d been naked in front of hundreds of people, but for some reason, she’d never been so hyper-aware of someone watching her as she was now. “It was fine. People get too wasted for my taste, but it’s a good networking opportunity. You?”
“I went home after we met. I was only there to see you.”
“Oh.” She felt heat infuse her cheeks.
“I don’t like those huge crowds. It stresses me out.” Thomas shrugged. “I prefer something more intimate with fewer strangers and more friends.”
“I see.” Kendra cleared her throat.
“You’re nervous,” he said.
“Not at all.”
“Liar. Your leg is bouncing nonstop and you don’t entirely meet my gaze.”
“Here you go, guys.”
Kendra glanced up at the waitress who placed their drinks and a platter of cookies on the table.
“On the house,” she said with a wink.
“Thanks.”
Kendra picked up a cookie and turned it in her hand before biting into it. She moaned in pleasure and shut her eyes. “Chocolate chip, my favorite.”
“I know.”
“Should I be creeped out?”
Thomas shrugged. “You mentioned it in one of your interviews. I simply remembered.”
“Staerling wasn’t lying when he said you were my number-one fan.”
“Yes.” Thomas steepled his hands in front of his face. His gaze met hers. “And yesterday you spoke as if you were ready to destroy me with that flogger you’d been wielding earlier, but today something is off. Do I make you uncomfortable, Kendra?” His tone deepened, the concern in his words impossible to miss.
“No.” She paused, wondering how much she should say. “Yes. I’m not sure. I can’t really put it into words,” she finally said.
“Try.”
She stared at Thomas. The intensity in his gaze plowed into her, pushing her to speak and making her tongue tingle with letters she couldn’t quite piece into words. Kendra watched a bird perched on a nearby tree. She was an adult, used to being around people who made her pussy flutter with excitement. She took in Thomas’s reflection. He looked at her, patiently waiting for a response. He was something else.
“I admire your work and your passion for this project shone through. I want to be a part of it. But yesterday, I was working. A model in display tending to her fans and today, well, I’m me.” She sighed. She’d never been shy around men and she wasn’t about to start. “I also find you attractive,” she admitted.
Thomas’s lips quirked.
“The feeling is mutual,” he said. “But I’m sure you deal with attractive people frequently.”
“Yes. And I cope well, but with you, it’s different.”
“How so?”
Kendra rolled in her bottom lip. “I’ve worked with people who by all standards are hot, enticing, arousing. They did nothing for me. You, on the other hand, there’s something about you.”
“I’m flattered.”
Kendra sighed. “Sorry. I know we’re here for the interview and this is the last thing— ”
“You do remember I’m your number-one fan, right?” he asked with a lopsided grin.
Kendra laughed. “Yes, but it’s one thing to be a fan and another one to—”
“Have the girl of my dreams admit she’s into me? Yeah, I’m suffering.”
Kendra covered her face with her hands. “It’s crazy.”
“It’s chemistry, biology. Call it what you will. What’s wrong with it?”
“We just met.”
“So? The body knows what it wants. We’re adults. I’m single. You’re single?”
“Yes.”
“Then?”
“I don’t kneel.”
“That much was clear last night.” Thomas’s gaze narrowed. “It’s something else. Tell me.” The order in his voice was undeniable.
“I, well, you remind me of someone.”
“Someone? Hopefully someone nice.”
She frowned. “Not really. I mean, he wasn’t. Never mind.”
Chapter Five
Thomas took Kendra in. She seemed flustered as if unsure how to continue. She’d admitted to finding him attractive and to following his work. It took guts to say both those things to a stranger. He admired her for it. However, he wasn’t sure who he reminded her of and he had the feeling it wasn’t someone he wanted to be compared to.
“Tell me,” he said, softening his voice. “I won’t take offense.”
Kendra huffed. “No offense, but it might go to your head.”
Thomas smiled. “I’ll try to keep my head tightly screwed on.”
“Fine,” she said after a moment. “He was, for some time, my Dom.”
Thomas flexed his fingers. “I’ve noticed you said Dom and not Top. You were in a relationship with this person.”
“Yes. It was the last time I looked adoringly at any man. I vowed never to do it again.”
Her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned in displeasure.
“Not all Doms are the same.”
“But they all want the same. Absolute obedience, reverence.”
“I think you’re confusing terms. What I want in a sub is submission, not to my will, but to her own desires. I want her to give in to what she wants most and is afraid to give voice to. I want her pleasure above all else.”
Kendra shook her head. “I’d have to see it to believe it.”
Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Are you propositioning me, Kendra Williams?”
Her green eyes widened. “No,” she said quickly.
“Would you like to try?”
“Try?”
“Scening together.”
“I just met you.”
“Does that matter? We’re attracted to each other and we’re both into BDSM. I want your pleasure above all else. I want you to submit to your fears and give yourself to the embrace of pain and pleasure.”
“I’m not sure.” She grasped her tea with both hands, no doubt a nervous gesture.
“What holds you back?”
“You will demand more.”
“I am not that other man. I will demand what I know you can give.”
“I won’t kneel.”
“I won’t ask you to.”
Kendra took in a deep breath and let it out slowly through her mouth. She smiled at him. “I thought this was supposed to be an interview for a book.”
“It took an unexpected, yet not unwelcome turn.”
Kendra shifted in her seat and averted her gaze. “We should really get on with the interview. I can’t stay too long.”
Thomas clenched his jaw. He was losing her in a sea of uncertainty. He took in a deep breath. Pushing her would bring them nowhere. “You’re right. You have to leave at around five, right?”
“Yes.”
“But you said we could meet again on Wednesday for the picture.”
“Aha.”
“Perfect. Let’s get started.” He placed his phone on the table and hit record. “Question one. Is Kendra your real name?”
Chapter Six
Kendra’s gaze snapped up. She had expected Thomas to push her to try to convince her to scening together, but instead, he’d moved on to the interview as she’d requested. Confusion swirled within her. What the hell was wrong with her? She always knew what she wanted. Whenever she’d bottomed with a top or a Dom, she’d agreed to it because it felt right. It had been fun, had taken the edge off. What was holding her back from Thomas? He was clearly a Dom and interested in her. Any other man and she wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to have some fun.
“Kendra?”
“Sorry. Yes, it was unique enough my manager back then didn’t see the need to change
it.”
“It is a beautiful name.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
“When you were a child what did you dream of becoming?”
“I wanted to be a teacher, lawyer, princess. I actually started studying business.”
“Not a model?”
“I never considered it. Not until I met Antonio and before that, well, I’d been a troublemaker, true, but I wasn’t considered pretty until I reached my teens. Back then, I was an outcast. Funny haircut, glasses, freckles. Then puberty hit. Everyone wanted to be my friend. I got a lot of attention and it felt good. I stole Susan’s boyfriend just because I could. It was a power trip. You?”
“Me?”
“What did you want to be when you grew up?”
Thomas leaned back against his seat. “An accountant.”
Kendra’s jaw dropped. “Really?”
“Yes. It was what my dad did, and I looked up to him, so it’s what I wanted to do. I would sit next to him as a kid and crunch numbers. “
“So how did you become a reporter?”
“I needed extra credits at school, so I joined the newspaper club.”
“Are you serious?”
“Absolutely. I started taking pictures and one thing led to the other.”
“Wow. Did you ever see yourself taking erotic pictures?”
Thomas smirked. “I thought I was interviewing you.”
“Seems like the tables have turned.” Kendra leaned forward just as Thomas did. His gaze sparked alive, sizzling across her chest and down to her core. Fear grabbed her. She wanted to hear more, see more, and please Thomas in ways she hadn’t let herself experience in a long time. That was the problem. The past few years, whenever she’d played in a BDSM scene, she’d done it to take the edge off. It hadn’t meant anything. Her gut was telling her with Thomas it would be different.
“Who introduced you to the art of BDSM erotica?” Thomas asked, shattering her thoughts.
Kendra sucked in a breath. Memories rushed to her mind. The first time he asked her to pose. Their combined laugher. He would ask and she would comply.
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