Kneel

by Elyzabeth M. VaLey

  “But Thomas isn’t Antonio,” she said aloud. “It’s been more than a decade. You’re older and wiser now. You can get out of a toxic relationship if you see it coming.”

  But how could she see it? If she played with him and kept her distance, he’d be able to tell. Thomas had the same keen sixth sense Antonio had seemed to possess. They were able to read her like open books and Thomas would know if she wasn’t fully giving herself into the moment.

  “The real question is, Kendra, are you ready to give it all? Do you want to?” She dunked her head and held her breath. Again, Thomas’s image appeared, nothing more than a blurry haze which grew in intensity with every second, sending tingling desire through her pores. She got out from under the water with a gasp.

  “Yes.”

  She wanted to try. She was prepared. Deep down in her core, she knew it was time. If she hadn’t been, she never would’ve gotten minimally involved with Thomas. She wouldn’t have gone to the interview or sat on the chair, and she definitely wouldn’t be in the tub obeying his orders. The man was compelling, no doubt, but she’d grown a backbone and could make herself heard when she needed to. She’d scratched through the surface of life for far too long. It was time to delve deep. Standing up, she quickly rinsed and then wrapped herself in a towel. After padding to her bedroom, she put on some PJs, grabbed her phone, and dialed Thomas’s number.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Thomas jumped as the classical music got cut off by the sound of his phone. He checked the caller.

  Kendra.

  His heart picked up its speed. He had expected her to call but he didn’t think she’d do it so quickly. It’d been less than two hours ago when he’d seen her enter her building’s parking lot.

  “Hello.”

  “Thomas?”

  “Yes?” He waited for her to continue, unwilling to prompt a reply she didn’t mean. Whatever she wanted, it had to come from her.

  “I want to play.” She paused. “To try to surrender the mask.”

  “For real? If you agree, there won’t be going back, Kendra. Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’ve lived like this for too long. I like you and I feel like we could have a real connection.”

  “I agree.” Thomas remained silent, waiting for her to say the word.

  “Sir?” Kendra finally said.

  Relief and happiness shot him in the chest, infusing him with a strong sense of purpose. Kendra would be his and she would drop her mask, free from the constraints of the past.

  “Little bird,” Thomas replied. “Where are you now?”

  “I’m in my bedroom.”

  “What are you wearing?”

  “My PJs.”

  “What do they look like?”

  “It’s sexy lingerie—”

  “The truth, Kendra,” he said sternly.

  “It’s a t-shirt with a faded Bugs Bunny design and comfy cotton panties.”

  “Send me a picture.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  “I—”

  “Now, Kendra.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  A moment later the image of Kendra came through. She smiled at the camera, but she was sans makeup and wearing what she’d said she was. Thomas’s heart swelled.

  “You’re gorgeous.”

  “I’m normal.”

  “And it’s beautiful to see.”

  “Why? I thought you idolized my perfection.”

  “I idolize Kendra the model, but I’ve always wanted to dig deep and see beneath it all. The power you seemed to portray in your pictures was compelling. I’ve always wanted to destroy it. To see behind it. Meeting you only brought the feeling crashing into the forefront.”

  “That’s saying a lot. Perhaps I should be scared.”

  “Or excited.”

  “Or both,” she added.

  “When was the last time you were both?” Thomas asked.

  “I don’t remember.”

  “Or do you not want to remember?”

  There was silence on the other end. Finally, Kendra sighed.

  “The first time I went to do a photo shoot, on purpose, as a model. Antonio warmed me up. He got me all hot and bothered and promised to allow me to come only if I did the shoot.”

  “Continue.”

  “I was both excited at the fact of doing the shoot and being so horny and scared about what people would say. They would see the wet spot in my panties. The desire coursing through me. Antonio knew. It’s what he wanted. He explained after it gave me an edge. Made people want me more, even though I belonged to him and was inaccessible. He made sure everyone knew I belonged to him.”

  “How?”

  “He masturbated me in front of everyone. I was mortified.”

  “Did you come?”

  “No. I couldn’t.” She became quiet. “He got really angry. Punished me for days.”

  “How?”

  “The silent treatment,” she whispered, so he almost had to strain to hear her.

  “Ouch.” Thomas clenched his fists. He was glad Antonio was dead or he’d take care of him himself.

  “Yeah. I don’t do well with long silences.” The apology in her tone was unmistakable.

  Thomas took a deep breath, easing the tension coiling inside of him.

  “I understand,” he said. “I will never punish you like that. The silent treatment is a mind fuck. If I’m angry, I’ll make sure to tell you and we’ll work out something.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “I don’t want you to fear me. I want you to be excited, nervous, full of anticipation.” Thomas spoke slowly, punctuating his words with intent. She had to know he’d always have her best interest at heart. He wanted her to enjoy herself, not the other way around.

  “I want that, too.”

  “But?”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “Why?” he asked gently.

  “He broke me.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Kendra’s voice cracked at the confession. The sweetness in Thomas’s tone had been her undoing. She’d never told anyone, bent on showing an image of a strong, independent woman, but for years, she’d felt broken, cracked like an old porcelain doll.

  “You’re not broken.”

  “I don’t think you know me well enough to give your opinion on the matter.”

  Thomas chuckled. “I know you like to create walls. To pretend to be perfect but you’re not and that’s only human. We’re all broken, Kendra. No human being is one whole piece. We’re made from tiny pieces that peel off, break, and have to be glued back together and that just makes us better, stronger and unique.”

  “I—” Kendra hesitated. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome, little bird. Now, what are your plans for tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow? Well, I’ve got work during the day, but I don’t have anything planned for the evening.”

  “Fantastic. Then we shall meet for dinner.”

  “A date?”

  “Yes.”

  Kendra let out a bubble of laughter. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been on a date, and much less it being organized so easily. “All right.”

  “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

  “Okay. I’ll text you my address.”

  “Sounds good. Just one more thing, Kendra. I don’t want you to masturbate.”

  “Oh, um, okay, Sir.”

  “And I don’t want you to wear makeup to our date.”

  Kendra sucked in a breath. She could deal with not touching herself for a night, but no makeup? Again?

  “But we’re going to go out in public. People could recognize me—”

  “I’m aware.”

  “So—”

  “So, the answer is you still have to have a clean face. If people recognize you and approach you, I’ll take care of them. You’re a human being, K
endra. Not a doll. It’s time you valued yourself.”

  Kendra chewed on her bottom lip. A thousand questions crowded her mind and she struggled to voice them.

  “I’ll be there. I won’t leave your side,” Thomas assured her.

  “All right. Sir.”

  “Also, I want you to wear pants.”

  Kendra’s jaw dropped.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “But—” she whined.

  “I already proved I can make you come with your clothes on, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, Sir.” Kendra pouted.

  “Then, don’t worry about it. I want you to be comfortable.”

  “I’m comfortable with skirts and dresses.”

  “You’re also putting yourself on display.”

  “No—”

  “Would you not be choosing a low-cut dress or a short skirt for my benefit?”

  “I—well, yes, but—”

  “It’s not what I want. I want you to wear pants. Period.”

  Kendra pursed her lips and breathed through her nose. She tapped her fingers against her thigh. “Yes, Sir. Anything else?”

  “No low-cut tops either.”

  Kendra’s jaw fell slack. At this rate, she’d have to go buy new clothes. “Okay. Anything else?” she said, unable to keep the irritation from her tone.

  Thomas chuckled. “Cheer up, little bird. I promise it’ll be worthwhile.”

  Kendra groaned and flopped against her mattress. She fought against the smile crowding her face. It would be strange to not wear something sexy to a date, but Thomas’s reasoning wasn’t wrong. She’d do it because she was on display, and it appeared that was precisely what he didn’t want.

  “Very well. Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome, my little bird. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Good night, Sir.”

  “Good night, beautiful.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Kendra wasn’t sure how she’d managed to get through her day. Every time she let her guard down, Thomas popped into her mind. She’d gone through work in a zombie-like state with a silly smile on her face, to the point a few people had commented on it. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Her lips curled.

  “Shit. And we haven’t even had sex.” She chuckled. “At least, regardless of the jeans, I look good.” She’d managed to find a shirt which wasn’t too revealing but was still sexy, with a panel of lace covering her chest but giving enticing glimpses of her cleavage.

  When was the last time she’d worn anything so conservative for a date? It had been ages. Any date she’d had in the past few years she’d made sure to dress provocatively. It was what the men she was with wanted, but Thomas was different. No one had ever required of her what he did. Not even Antonio. To him, she’d given it willingly, but in exchange, he’d destroyed her. Her gaze landed on the reflection of her face. She’d pulled her hair up into a ponytail, her dull, makeup-less face staring back at her.

  “It’s what Thomas wants,” she said.

  A rush of happiness infused her system at the thought of him. The doorbell rang and nerves fluttered in her belly. He was here. Kendra grabbed her keys, coat, and purse and thrust open the door. The sight of Thomas stole her breath. He looked gorgeous, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a leather jacket.

  “You look beautiful,” he said.

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Nice shirt.” He grinned.

  “I did obey you,” she countered.

  “In your own way.” He shook his head, chuckling. “It’s missing an accessory, though.”

  “Oh?”

  The corner of Thomas’s lips curved devilishly, and his eyes twinkled. “Shall we?” He nodded at her apartment. “I think we need some privacy.”

  “Of course.”

  She took a step back inside and motioned for him to follow her. Thomas closed the door behind them. Taking her belongings, he placed them on the dresser she had in the hallway.

  “Do you want us to go to the bedroom? Or the living room? Can I get you anything to drink?” She tripped over each word in haste.

  Thomas cocked his head. “Relax, little bird. We’re only going to be here for a few minutes. Turn around to face me and lift your shirt.”

  “My shirt?”

  “Aha.”

  Kendra giggled and did as Thomas ordered. It was a simple command, one she’d done countless times in front of others, yet, felt different this time around. Perhaps it was the lack of an audience, the intimacy surrounding them, or the fact she knew he wanted her to be herself and not just a doll.

  “I’m glad you’re wearing a bra.”

  “Considering what you wanted me to wear, I imagined you’d prefer it.”

  “I do. Don’t take it off, just lower the cups.”

  “Yes, Sir. Maybe next time I’ll wear a sheer one.”

  Thomas cocked an eyebrow. The intensity in his gaze burned through her, creating a path of lustful fire.

  “Beautiful,” he said at last. “Breathe, Kendra.”

  She let out a nervous titter.

  “Thank you, Sir. You know, I’ve played with so many people, but this—”

  “Is different,” he finished for her. “I’m aware and it’s precisely why I’m doing it. May I touch your breasts?”

  Kendra’s jaw dropped. “You’re asking me? Of course, Sir.”

  “There will come a moment when I won’t ask you, little bird, but right now, you deserve all the respect you can get and more.” He slid the pad of his thumbs across her tits and over her engorged nipples, a gentle and reverent touch. Kendra bit her lip and shut her eyes.

  “That’s it. Good girl. Savor the moment.”

  “I’m trying, Sir.”

  “I know you are, and I appreciate your efforts.”

  Thomas bent his head and licked her left nipple. Kendra jumped.

  “Easy now.” He sucked in the tip and a whimper echoed in the back of her throat.

  “Oh.”

  “Perfect. That was a really good sound.” Thomas switched to her other breast, suckling passionately.

  Kendra teetered forward. “Sir.” Her pussy throbbed with desire. He nipped her bud and she cried out.

  “It’s perfect,” he said, pulling back. The sound of a chain caught her attention. Thomas pulled out a pair of nipple clamps from his pocket.

  “Sir?”

  “You’re going to wear these for a bit. What’s the longest you’ve worn them?”

  “Two hours for a shoot.”

  “You’re okay with them?”

  “Yes, Sir. I enjoy the pain.”

  “Good. If it becomes too much, let me know. I’m going to put them on you now. Place your arms behind your back and thrust out your chest.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Kendra laced her fingers together and waited. Thomas squeezed her left nipple and she swayed forward lightly.

  “Breathe,” he reminded her. “Through your nose, out your mouth.”

  She nodded. Quickly, he clamped first one breast and then the other. The sharp bite of pain radiating from her sensitive buds quickly transformed into wild desire throbbing relentlessly between her legs.

  “Good?” Thomas asked, peering at her face.

  “Perfect. Thank you, Sir.”

  “My pleasure, little bird. They look gorgeous. I knew the silver chain would match you nicely. Put your bra back on and readjust your shirt.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Kendra pulled back her garments. The material of the bra rubbed against her, heightening her arousal. She choked back a groan. Thomas grabbed her coat and motioned for her to turn. She complied.

  “Right arm,” he indicated.

  She placed it into the sleeve, followed by the left. Thomas put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them lightly, and leaned over her to give her a peck on the cheek.

  “You’re wonderful, Kendra Williams, and you please me immensely.”

  Kendra
was about to tell him he exaggerated when she caught his gaze. He wasn’t joking, the burning passion in his blue orbs wrapping around her heart and squeezing until she could hardly breathe.

  “Thank you, Sir,” she said softly.

  Grasping her hand, long fingers entwining with hers, he kissed the back of her hand.

  “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Thomas’s heart was going to jump from his chest and land at Kendra’s feet. His cock pressed against his jeans. She was a dream come true in all senses. Many times, he’d envisioned what it’d be like to be with her, professionally and personally, but reality was a hundred times better than fiction.

  He glanced at Kendra as she walked at his side. Even though she didn’t wear any makeup and she said she wasn’t used to wearing pants, her gait was confident. Still, there was a new air about her, different than the day they’d met. Vulnerability, perhaps? He opened his car door for her.

  “Little bird.”

  “Thank you, Sir,” she said with a smile.

  Once she was settled in, Thomas hurried to the driver’s seat.

  “So, if I remember correctly,” he said, turning on the engine. “You preferred some EBM beats when it came to music.”

  Kendra grinned. “You really have an unfair advantage on me. You know all this stuff about me, and I know practically nothing about you. It’s actually kind of creepy,” she said, giving him a raised eyebrow.

  “I know what you’ve chosen to tell the media, that’s all. It could be wrong or misleading, or it could have changed. After all, in those interviews you were also putting a façade, weren’t you?”

  “True,” she admitted with a pout.

  “In any case, little bird, anything you want to know about me, all you have to do is ask.”

  “All right. So, what kind of music do you prefer?”

  “There’s a time and place for everything, but when driving, there’s nothing like some good old rock n’ roll.”

  “I’m in with that.”

  Thomas turned on the music. Steppenwolf blared through the radio.

  “Nice,” she said. “And where are we going?”