‘How long will it take?’ Lina asked.
Cholly stroked her chin for a moment, apparently really considering the question. ‘Could take five minutes; could take five days.’
‘Five days?’ Lina cried. ‘We don’t have that much time. The gump will close tonight at nine o’clock. We only have hours, not days.’
Plomtee dived into the water and swam off.
‘Well then, you better hope it takes hours,’ Cholly said.
Lina sat back down on the cold stone floor and stared off into the dark tunnel, exhausted and feeling helpless for the first time. All they could do was wait.
‘Look at them mince pies,’ Cholly said, pointing at Lina’s face. ‘They got fear in ’em.’
‘Mince pies means eyes,’ Odge whispered.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE ROBBERS
The harpies flew so fast through the gump that Ernie Hobbs mistook them for out-of-date turkeys and would’ve tried to eat them were it not for Mrs Partridge pulling him back so they could slide through the wall and hide. The last thing the ghosts wanted was an encounter with Mrs Smith.
Unfortunately, being in a wall, the ghostly pair didn’t see where it was the harpies were going, and of course they instantly worried about Lina and Odge. And they were right to be worried, because that’s exactly why the harpies had come to London. The rock monsters had been gossiping again and had revealed that the human girl and Odge Gribble had made their way through the gump with the last of the rebels. While all the others believed Odge had given up, Mrs Smith knew better. Believing Odge was headed to London to recruit enough magical creatures to storm back through the gump, she had decided it was time to stop Odge’s meddling, once and for all.
The harpies stuck to the roof of King’s Cross station, briefly flying outside before swooping into another part of the building that had a sign above it reading St Pancras International.
Mrs Smith, Miss Witherspoon, Miss Green and Miss Brown all bowed their heads in respect, mistaking the sign to be a tribute to Saint Pancreas, the international saint of eating pancreases and other body parts – a harpy favourite.
Below the arched glass ceiling, baked goods, chocolates and colourful sweets spilt across tables in shops like delicious jewels. There were clothes shops and gift shops and, in the middle of it all, a woman screamed.
‘IT STOLE MY COAT!’ she cried over and over again. ‘THE BIG BIRD WITH THE HUMAN FACE STOLE MY COAT!’
It wasn’t long before a shop worker telephoned the police, mistaking her for a madwoman. That’s the problem when a harpy steals your coat – there is absolutely no way of informing people without them deeming you insane.
Mrs Smith had plumped for the woman in the fancy coat, leaving the other three to steal the raincoats from three men, who were instantly taken more seriously when they shouted about half-birds with human faces.
Talons can make quick work of unravelling a human from their coat, and so they were at the other end of the station before the humans realized they were gone. No one stopped to question why the woman in the expensive coat was walking so strangely – with an impossible curve of the spine as if she were nothing but a head, neck and sack of flesh, wobbling under a coat.
They stumbled into a coffee shop and waited in line. They had no intention of getting coffee. When they got to the front of the queue, Mrs Smith barked, ‘HAVE YOU SEEN A HAG AND A LITTLE GIRL?’
The man almost laughed, which was a mistake. Mrs Smith had no time for jokers. She poked a talon out of the coat, startling the man.
‘A HAG,’ she repeated again, slowly so he could understand. ‘AND A GIRL.’
‘With all due respect, so many people pass through this station every day. I can only tell you for certain, I have never seen a hag.’
Mrs Smith narrowed her eyes. ‘She looks quite human. Blue boots. She arrived at platform thirteen at King’s Cross.’
‘This is a different station,’ the man explained. ‘And I don’t think anyone uses platform thirteen these days – do they, Kevin?’ He turned to look at his colleague, but when he looked back the strange old woman had gone.
Ernie Hobbs and Mrs Partridge were discussing the harpies back on platform thirteen.
‘No, Ernie – Miss Jones wasn’t with them just now,’ Mrs Partridge insisted. ‘She’s the one with the big hats, remember? The harpy who, last time the gump opened, asked to borrow some suitcases for little furry pets she had, or something like that. She’d got the idea from somewhere that they liked sleeping in them – you remember her!’
‘Was she the one who smelt of rotten intestines?’
Mrs Partridge tutted. ‘They all do, Ernie.’
Ernie was about to ask Mrs Partridge what she thought the harpies were doing in London when Mrs Smith landed with a thud in front of them.
‘Where’s Odge and the human girl?’ she seethed.
Ernie Hobbs was no good at lying, and so Mrs Partridge had given him one of her looks. He knew it meant, Say nothing, or there will be hell to pay.
‘We haven’t seen them,’ Mrs Partridge said firmly. Being dead already, she wasn’t afraid of Mrs Smith.
Mrs Smith swayed in her coat, turning so red and getting so furious, she could barely spit the words out.
‘Oh, actually,’ Ernie Hobbs said, making Mrs Partridge visibly wince, ‘I do remember where they went, Mrs Smith.’
‘Where?’ she demanded, curling a talon under his squidgy ghost chin. Even though he knew it couldn’t hurt him, he recoiled.
‘Borough Market,’ he said joyfully, the thrill of deceiving them all too obvious in his voice. ‘THEY WENT TO BOROUGH MARKET!’
‘I’ll get you a cab,’ Mrs Partridge said with a smirk.
And so the ghosts got back to work, delighted the harpies had been distracted and deceived. The only problem was that Plomtee was swimming his way back to Lina and Odge with a location for Aunt Maureen and, though Ernie Hobbs couldn’t have possibly known it, he had just made a terrible, terrible mistake.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE PIGEONS
Plomtee didn’t take five days to locate Aunt Maureen – he took a mere fifty minutes, which was incredibly impressive. When he arrived back at the Blackfriars base, he found Odge and Lina asleep, using Cholly’s tail as a pillow.
‘Should I wake ’em?’ Cholly whispered.
Plomtee raised himself up on his elbows and peeked over at them. ‘They did say they ain’t got much time, Cholly.’
Cholly wriggled her tail, and Lina awoke with a snort.
‘Found ’er,’ Plomtee said proudly. ‘She was chattin’ to ’erself inside the cat and dog down Borough Market.’
Lina rubbed her eyes, unsure if she were still asleep – how could someone be inside a cat and a dog. Really, they couldn’t be inside either, but definitely not both.
‘Cat and dog means bog,’ Odge whispered. ‘And bog means toilet.’
‘So we need to go to Borough Market,’ Lina said. ‘Is it far?’
Cholly smiled. ‘I’ll get you a cab.’
The cab was an old battered boat smothered in pearls and shimmering buttons. Two old mermaids pulled it out from the safety of the secret underground lair and along the River Thames. Luckily, the people on the shores were too busy trying to get to where they were going or admiring London’s glinting architectural delights to notice the little boat. Nevertheless, Odge and Lina still ducked. They pulled up on Bankside, a little east of Southwark Bridge, and dismounted, saying goodbye to the pearly mermaids. Cholly had swum alongside the boat, eager to see her new friends to their destination.
‘I hope you find Baldin’ Maureen an’ she ’elps you with them horrible harpies,’ she said. ‘And if you get kicked out of Mist you can live wiv us. You too, Vienna.’ She waved goodbye and dived under the water.
‘Take the apples and pears there to the frog and toad,’ one of the pearly mermaids pulling the boat said.
‘Apples and pears means stairs, and frog and toad me
ans road,’ Odge translated as they watched the mermaids, and the entire boat, disappear underwater.
It was only a short walk to the market, and when they arrived, Lina felt a renewed sense of hope that they’d be able to make everything right. They were getting somewhere – if they could locate Aunt Maureen and convince her to come to Mist, they could stop the harpies, return the evicted magical creatures and save the mistmakers before the gump closed! She was delighted, and she was also starving, so she made a beeline for the bakery with its rainbow cakes and swirly chocolate buns showing off their deliciousness in the window.
Odge grabbed Lina’s arm. When Lina turned, she was surprised to see Odge’s face frozen in shock.
‘Odge?’ she whispered. ‘What’s wrong?’ Somewhere, deep down, she knew, but she didn’t want to believe it.
Odge pointed at the crowds milling around the fruit stalls. ‘There.’
Lina looked over and couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but then the woman in the expensive coat turned round.
Lina began to shake. Slowly, the pair of them stepped backwards. Lina wished the bakery would gobble them up and spit them out somewhere else.
Mrs Smith’s eyes fell upon them, and she grinned.
‘Run!’ Odge cried.
Mrs Smith and the others began to run, wobbling frantically as they went.
‘How rude!’ a man cried as they pushed him out of the way.
‘Excuse you!’ another shouted as Mrs Smith pushed a child into pile of watermelons.
Lina ran fast past a cheese shop that reminded her of Hans and down a quiet cobbled street.
Odge stopped beside her and doubled over, trying to catch her breath. ‘How did they find us?’
Lina pulled Odge to the side, and the pair of them ducked behind a large bin. It smelled of the swamp fairies, and Lina had an urge to run, but she reminded herself it was just a bin. It may have smelt like them, but it was just rubbish.
‘We wait here,’ Lina whispered. ‘Wait until they go, and then we’ll find your aunt.’
‘They won’t go,’ Odge whispered back. ‘We have to get rid of them.’
Lina could hear the click-clack of talons on cobblestones. She held her breath. Odge fiddled with the bin. It was a large dumpster-style one on wheels. She rolled it back and forth, inspecting it.
‘What are you doing?’ Lina hissed as the thing squeaked. ‘They’ll hear us.’
‘How heavy do you think this bin is?’ Odge said, not even attempting to lower her voice.
The click-clacking stopped.
Lina looked up, convinced they’d been heard. She could feel her heart pounding in her mouth. A tall shadow appeared at the end of the alleyway, stretching up the wall until it hovered sinisterly above them.
‘I know you’re there, Odge and human girl,’ Mrs Smith snapped. ‘Remember we have Ben and Netty, so don’t do anything silly.’
‘I WOULD NEVER!’ Odge said, leaping up and shoving the bin.
It careered fast down the alleyway, knocking into cobblestones and flying sideways. Mrs Smith, in a fluster, began madly shouting directions to the harpies, but it just caused confusion, until half went one way, and half went another. Mrs Smith looked back just in time to see the bin make contact with her face. She was whipped backwards before bursting from her coat in a rage and taking flight.
Odge and Lina charged out of the alleyway back towards Borough Market. Odge grabbed the coat and threw it to Lina.
‘What now?’ Lina shouted, putting the coat on. It seemed the most sensible and efficient way of carrying it.
‘I don’t know!’ Odge said. ‘We’ll figure it out. They can hardly attack us in front of humans. The last thing they’d want would be to be seen by lots of witnesses – people might start asking questions, and then – who knows – their beloved island might be discovered and known by all humans, like it once was. No, they wouldn’t want that – they’d fear an invasion!’
‘I don’t think they’re going to give up without a fight,’ Lina said, gasping for breath. A stitch nipped at her side, and the expensive coat was weighing her down.
They arrived back in the market and weaved through the stalls, looking out for the harpies and Aunt Maureen.
Lina crouch-walked past people.
‘Can you see them?’ Odge whispered.
Lina scanned the market and spotted Miss Witherspoon crouching at the end of the sausage stall to her left. She’d lined her nose up perfectly so it looked like a deflated, spindly piece of meat in the row of juicy sausages.
‘I hope someone tries to eat it,’ Odge spat.
To her right, Lina could see Miss Green and Miss Brown lurking behind barrels of wine. And up above, folded into the rafters with the pigeons, was the tall and gangly Mrs Smith.
‘We’re surrounded,’ Lina whispered. ‘There’s no way out.’
Magdelena appeared with a pop. ‘Well, this is quite the mess, isn’t it? Who eats food from a stall?’
‘Magdelena,’ Odge whispered urgently. ‘This is not a good time.’
The little ghost rat surveyed the scene, her gaze landing on Mrs Smith and the others. ‘I think you need a little help.’
‘Oh, would you?’ Lina said. ‘I’d be so grateful if you could.’
Magdelena scrunched up her face. ‘Not me, Lina. The pigeons. Ask the pigeons.’
‘Ask them what?’
‘Well, they are big fans of Mist. They’re always talking about it, but of course you don’t know that because you don’t speak pigeon. Pigeons, on the other hand, are much cleverer – they understand pigeon and English. Ask them to help you get rid of the harpies. I’m positive they’d be thrilled to help. I’d ask them for you, but I’m a rat – I can’t be seen speaking to a pigeon.’
‘But people call pigeons the rats of the sky,’ Lina pointed out.
‘Pah, they should be so lucky!’
Odge was crouched by the fruit stall, her eyes fixed on Mrs Smith. ‘She wouldn’t dare attack us in a bustling market.’
‘Try me,’ Mrs Smith mouthed, brandishing a talon.
A pigeon toddled up and pecked at Odge’s horrible new boots.
‘Excuse me,’ Lina whispered to it. ‘Could you help us get rid of those harpies? We have important business here in the market, and we need them gone.’
The pigeon flew off, making Lina feel incredibly silly. But then the strangest thing happened – the pigeon took a seat next to the others on the rafters and began cooing until every single pigeon in the market was making noise.
People covered their ears as the noise grew louder and louder. And then, like a swarm of feathery bees, the pigeons took off, moving fast towards the harpies, pecking at them one at a time, until all four harpies were lost within a swirling mass of feathers.
‘I swear I saw a giant eagle in there! Twice as tall as me!’ a woman cried, pointing at the cloud of birds. ‘It had a ghastly face.’
Odge and Lina watched in amazement as the harpies tried to fight their way through the pigeons.
‘We could capture them!’ Odge shouted, jumping up on to the stall and reaching up high.
‘Odge!’ Lina cried. ‘Don’t be silly. They may be trapped in a clump of pigeons, but they still have talons, and they’re right above your head and wishing you dead!’
Odge climbed down and left the pigeons to it.
‘IT IS AN EAGLE!’ the woman cried again. ‘DID YOU SEE IT? RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE.’
Crowds gathered under the pigeons in such huge numbers that the harpies’ goal of capturing Odge and Lina seemed to quickly shift to just getting out of there unseen. They fought their way through the pigeons and shot off, back towards platform thirteen.
Lina was sure she heard Mrs Smith say, ‘And that is why we don’t visit other countries.’
She told Odge, who laughed. ‘Yes, well, she doesn’t enjoy a country that isn’t her dictatorship. They’ll be on their way home, but now they know we’re here it’s going to be harder to ge
t back through the gump.’
‘Do you think they’ll do something to Ben and Netty?’ Lina asked, a shake in her voice as she did so.
‘We won’t let them,’ Odge said, wrapping her arm round Lina.
The pigeons settled down, and the humans got back to eating. Lina spotted a stall owner inspecting Mrs Smith’s handbag.
‘Oh, look, Odge!’ Lina cried, suddenly realizing what a strange name Odge was to a human. ‘That man has found your handbag!’
Odge spun round, and her eyes lit up. ‘Ah, yes, my handbag. I dropped it, see.’
The man handed it over with a proud grin. ‘Nothing gets past me.’
Lina smiled, thinking of the four mythical creatures he had failed to see fighting moments ago above his head. Five, if you counted the hag he was speaking to at that very moment.
‘Odge, was it?’ he asked.
Odge nodded. ‘Rhymes with splodge.’
‘It’s Portuguese,’ Lina lied. ‘Very popular name there.’
They thanked him again and made their way through the market, swinging the handbag as they went. Lina felt smug in the knowledge that losing it would have annoyed Mrs Smith.
Odge frowned. ‘I wonder if that commotion scared my aunt off. If she saw the harpies, she certainly won’t be here any more.’
Lina and Odge searched for over an hour – in every shop, down every alleyway, under every stall – and yet they found nothing.
Time was not on their side, and so they found themselves walking the streets that flanked the market, wondering what they should do. They could return to the pearly mermaids and ask them to help again, but that might take hours. They walked past cafes and restaurants and little shops selling newspapers and sweets, and a cafe full of bald people and a bald cat.
They stopped and turned in unison.
Lina grinned at Odge. ‘What are the chances of there being a cafe filled with only bald people and a bald cat?’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE CAFE
‘Aunt Maureen!’ Odge cried, flinging the doors open and holding her arms wide.
Beyond Platform 13 Page 9