by Bec McMaster
And then she holds the tent flap open.
I stare at freedom, my heart beating with the sound of Andraste’s confessions.
With fury.
I promised the Prince of Evernight I would marry him, but it wasn’t until this moment that I realize I want to marry him. I want to be free of my mother’s machinations. I want to explore what it feels like to have a chance to fall in love with someone who believes in me. I want to know what kindness means, and what it feels like to fall asleep in the arms of a prince who will protect me from my mother’s wrath.
I want to know if the way my heart skips a beat when he’s around means something.
But what she says lights a fire in my heart.
Magic. Power. Strength.
I could have it all.
Andraste wants me to play the game? It feels like she’s silently telling me to go ahead with my reckless plans.
Suddenly, all of my doubts about marrying the prince disappear.
“Thank you.” I pause to kiss her cheek. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
Andraste won’t meet my eyes. “I should have told you a long time ago. Now go…. Go and enjoy your last night of freedom before Mother realizes you’re gone.”
It’s not my last night of freedom.
It’s only the first.
And while I can’t say goodbye to her, I have to say something. “You will make a fair and kind ruler of Asturia one day. You will be the kind of queen Mother could only dream of being.”
And then I slip from the tent before she can even respond.
11
Thiago
The moon hangs heavy in the skies over the Hammerdale ruins as we wait.
They’re long broken—the remnants of a forgotten kingdom—and all that is left of them are fallen stone and jagged arches. The only thing that stands in any semblance of good quality is the temple, where an unknown goddess—or warrior—stares over the valley with a spear in her hand. The sculpted scallops of her gown are some of the finest work I’ve ever seen and the sight of her wings—each feather lovingly excavated from the alabaster marble—made my breath catch in my chest.
It also makes me wonder.
The fae of the Seelie alliance are purebred and can list their ancestors all the way back to the Great Exodus, when we fled the home world and colonized Arcaedia.
Wings don’t belong on the fae.
Or not the Seelie.
No, the only winged fae they belong to lie in Unseelie.
I close my eyes and let my glamor shift over my skin. I can feel the muscles stirring in my back as my wings slip into being. It’s almost akin to shapeshifting. When I want to be Seelie, I swallow my Darkness whole. Wings, claws, those wretched soulless eyes that stare right through me in the mirror.
But they’re always there.
Pressing beneath my skin. Threatening to consume me. One slip of my glamor and my true form rises to the surface.
I haven’t told Vi the truth—there’s so much I haven’t told her—but what will she say when she sees my true form? The handsome prince with his green eyes and wicked smile is just a façade. It’s a lie. A shield.
I want to be that prince with every part of my being, but the truth of my birth can’t be denied.
I’m a monster trapped into fae flesh, and no matter how much I want to hide it, I can never forget.
Maybe you can finally submerge it once and for all if she marries you. Maybe she can help you vanquish this beast. You know how she makes you feel.
There’s an incredible lightness in my chest when Vi smiles at me.
I’m no longer trapped in the dark, fighting not to drown.
No, I’m whole and handsome and able to lock my Darkness down so deep I could almost throw away the key. She’s my hope and my salvation in one.
Marrying her means I finally get a good hand of cards. I’m no longer being tortured on Fate’s rack. There is only goodness within Vi’s heart. She can anchor me to this world, and I will give her everything.
My kingdom. My crown. My heart.
Gods, maybe even my heart.
If she cannot love me, then can she ever truly love you? whispers the Darkness within.
Be silent, I tell it.
What are you going to do? It taunts. Are you going to lock me away and pretend I don’t exist? Are you even going to tell her about me?
I steel myself. I don’t know how she’ll react. I just need time. Time to make her fall in love with me.
Maybe if she loves me, then she will forgive me this one lie.
If I can just hold myself together long enough for Vi to want to stay with me….
The Darkness laughs. I’ll let you have this moment. Only because when I finally rise again, I’m going to enjoy your pain.
But it sinks down deep inside me, until I can finally breathe again.
Will she come?
“Stop pacing,” Thalia says, hauling me into place in front of her and brushing nonexistent lint of my doublet.
“I can’t help it. Is there any sign of Baylor?”
I sent him to ensure Vi arrives safely at the ruins.
“She’ll come,” Thalia says, and I shake her free and rub my knuckles into the palm of my other hand as I pace.
Wanting someone as badly as I want Vi is like handing Adaia the knife and then not expecting her to put it to my throat.
What if this is the first mistake I make? What if I just took the wrong fork down a dangerous road?
I’m not a prince who is ruled by his impulses. I can’t afford to give into anger or fear. The only way to cage the monstrosity within me is to chain every hint of emotion that flutters in my chest and control it.
But the truth remains…. I’ve had over six hundred years to master myself and the second I caught a glimpse of Vi, that control was shredded.
I want her.
Not just the woman who dragged my face down to hers for a kiss, or the woman who cried out in pleasure beneath me, but the one who demanded that I prove myself true—her dark eyes flashing with heat and fire. The one who crept into my tents with Finn slung over her shoulder, careless of the blood that dripped down her fine gown or the fact she was in an enemy quadrant.
Vi understands what it’s like to live one’s life in a cage, and yet there’s a kindness and generosity that has managed to survive everything her mother threw at her. Maybe, if her mother had her for another hundred years, she’d manage to strip Vi of her innocence, but I can’t help thinking that she’d never manage to ruin her heart. There’s defiance there. Stubbornness. And determination.
Vi wants to escape, just as much as I want to rescue her.
I asked Maia for a queen that long-ago night, but in my heart of hearts I begged her for the love of my life. Vi could be both. She’s young, untried, her heart still fragile and uncertainty tearing at her every move, but I’ve seen the fire. I know it’s there. I know—that with a little careful guidance—she will blossom into a woman who is a force to behold.
She just needs someone who will believe in her.
She just needs to take this step.
To come to me.
Will she come?
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Eris murmurs at my side.
I lock it all down. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Because this means war if you’re wrong.” Her gaze meets mine head-on. It’s what I’ve always admired about her. She’s never afraid to voice her doubts, never afraid to hesitate when it comes to protecting our kingdom—our people. Eris will give her all, no matter what choice I might make. Even if it means standing against me. “And I’m not talking about the border skirmishes and games we’ve been playing with Asturia to this point. I’m talking about brutal battles. I’m talking about winner takes all, Thiago.”
“Then we will win,” I assure her. “You and Baylor are the best we have. You’re the reason that Adaia hasn’t dared launch a full-scale offensive.”
There’s som
ething in her eyes that makes my breath catch. Eris looks away. “You don’t play the games Adaia plays. I don’t play those games. And Baylor certainly doesn’t. When I say war, I don’t expect to be fighting in the trenches, Thiago. The knife will come from a direction we don’t expect.”
I can’t deny it. “Maybe this will bring about peace. A true peace.”
Neither of us believe it.
“I don’t understand this. You don’t make decisions like this. You don’t let your heart rule your head. You’re not thinking clearly. She’s pretty, Thiago, I’ll give you that, but you barely know her.”
“I know enough,” I counter. “She returned Finn to us, despite the fact her mother would punish her if she knew it was her hand that opened that cage. She is brave and honest and kind.”
“She’s the—”
“She’s my promise.” The words snap between us, landing like a blow. “Eris.” I try to breathe through the knot in my chest. “She’s my salvation. I have to believe that. And you alone…. You have to know what that means to me.”
A sudden movement cuts through the tension. A hooded figure appears, right on the edge of the mists.
Vi.
Suddenly none of it matters. She lifts her hands to the hood of the cloak and then lowers it. Our eyes meet, and suddenly none of it matters.
She came.
She came alone.
Baylor stalks out of the shadows and she throws him a surprised look as if she wasn’t even aware of him.
But then my gruff warlord does something totally unexpected. He offers his arm to her. “Allow me to walk you to my prince.”
That he would offer this means everything to me.
I don’t just want Vi to be my wife, I want my friends to welcome her.
They walk together, and I can see her breath catching, see hope and doubt warring within her. She’s beautiful. As beautiful as a moon-kissed night. Indeed, she was made for night, with those gorgeous, wide eyes and the tumble of dark hair spilling down her back. She wears her starlight dress again, and as she walks toward me, the cloak slips from her shoulders, leaving them bare.
“Hello, Princess.”
She glances up at me shyly as Baylor offers me her hand. “Hello, my husband.”
There’s a thickness in my throat as she takes my hands.
All my life I’ve lived for this. I’ve seen her face in every moment. I’ve pictured her so many times I could have almost conjured her from my dreams. When the world felt heavy on my shoulders, when the Darkness within threatened to choke me, I would reach out and bring her to life in my mind. She would turn and smile at me—the same way she did in the image Maia granted me—and hope would blaze to life in my heart. No matter what odds were stacked against me, no matter how much my shadows whispered to me, she was out there. Somewhere. In some time. Waiting for me.
And I just had to hold on until I could find her.
And now she’s here and she’s mine, and yet everything I thought I knew about her is wrong.
She’s shorter than I’d ever imagined.
More watchful and older than her years. Those dark eyes drink in everything around her, as if she’s siphoning the mood of the room before she dares speak. Reckless in some ways, yes. Or she wouldn’t be marrying me. But there’s a tension to her mouthiness, as if she’s waiting for the consequences. Bold and brave enough to dare speak her mind, but prepared for pain. Expecting it. Anticipating it.
And the brash words hide her inner heart.
You don’t get a piece of me, says the twitch of her brow.
You don’t get that combination without some sort of abuse.
The only thing she’s done in the past three days that revealed any hint of her true self was to rescue Finn.
It’s the hope I cling to now. It has to be enough.
It’s also highly revealing.
She’ll protect others, but she thinks she stands alone. And her defiance is still skin deep. It consists of careless words, a breathless shrug and then those fists clenching as she prepares to endure. Convincing her to take this step with me was the hardest battle, because I’m asking her to fight back. I’m asking her to truly defy her mother. Not with words, not by locking her heart away where it can’t get hurt, but by risking everything.
Discovering the truth of her birthright was a shock, a punch to the face. It hurt, because it smashed my dreams to pieces. All I could see was Adaia.
I didn’t even think of what it would be like to be raised by that snake.
I barely know her.
But I know this: Hope.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
Vi lets out a shudder. “I’ll never regret this.” She lifts those midnight blue eyes to mine. “I want you to know that. This is the first choice I’ve ever made for myself. I will never regret it.”
It’s a knife to the chest.
The Darkness chuckles within me.
“Good.” I don’t know how I manage the word, but it’s clearly less than she expected, and I can’t explain….
“Do you, Thiago of Evernight, pledge your troth to the Princess of Asturia?” The priestess binds our hands together with a silken cord. It will stay bound until dawn breaks the sky. “In the name of Maia, in the name of the blessed light, do you promise to pledge your heart and soul to this woman?”
“I promise.” There’s no more doubt within me.
“Will you grant her forever by your side?
“I promise.”
“Will you shield her from darkness and allow only light into your heart?”
It’s harder to make this pledge, because the darkness is within me. But I’ll protect her from that. I won’t let them hurt her. I won’t ever give into the monster inside me, the one that hungers and yearns. I will be everything she needs me to be. And that is what I can promise.
“I promise.” Capturing Vi’s face with my free hand, I lean down and whisper against her lips. “You are my light in the darkness. You are everything I’ve ever yearned for. I will love you forever, if only you let me. I promise now. I promise thrice. Thus let it be said, thus let my oath stand unbroken.”
“I promise now. I promise thrice. Thus let it be said, thus let my oath stand unbroken,” whispers the Darkness.
There’s a shiver of heaviness in the air, a sense of something listening. It feels like there’s a storm on the horizon, the air thick with tension, but there’s no sign of any clouds on the horizon.
Even the priestess looks up from her book.
Maybe it’s the Hallow? There is power in these old places, after all. Or maybe… the Darkness spoke those words into the world and something heard them.
The thought rouses a shudder. Be gone.
Vi glances around as if she feels it more than me.
But I brush my lips against hers, and her distraction is shattered. She leans into me, kissing me back so softly it makes my heart sing.
I’ve won.
I’ve finally found her.
I’m never letting her go. Never.
The priestess turns to her. “Do you, Iskvien of Asturia, pledge your troth to the Prince of Evernight? In the name of Maia, in the name of the blessed light, do you promise to pledge your heart and soul to this male?”
“I promise.” Iskvien whispers, and then she promises twice more.
“Now, you’re mine,” I whisper. “And nobody can ever take you away from me. Ever.”
This time, I take my time in kissing her.
Because now, we have forever.
12
Iskvien
Hours later, we lie entwined in each other’s arms. I can still feel Thiago inside me, and his kisses mark my skin, but there’s something to be said for this moment. It was always easier to pretend this was nothing more than lust, and yet it’s these moments that steal into my heart and threaten it.
He says he feels the same way, but….
Everything has happened so fast.
It’s not love. It can’t be l
ove. Can love even be forged in a mere three days?
But it’s something.
I just don’t know what to name it, precisely.
“What are you thinking about?” he murmurs, kissing my shoulder from behind.
“Nothing.”
A pair of fingers grip my chin and then he’s turning my face toward him in order to meet my eyes. “Oh no, Vi. None of that here. Not between us anymore. Only the truth now.”
Rebellion brews in my heart. The only way I’ve survived these past eight years is by locking my heart away and not daring to give voice to the parts of me that matter.
I did that once.
I loved. I begged for love in return. I was loved.
And that door was slammed shut in my face as though it never existed.
“Talk to me.” It’s not a demand.
“We barely know each other.” I can’t help feeling the weight of that choking me. “Everything’s happened so fast.”
“Precisely my point. Talk to me.” Thiago shifts a little, until my head is resting on his chest. It’s difficult to manage with our wrists still bound together, but he’s patient. “Let me know you. This doesn’t work if we can’t learn how to share ourselves.”
Share ourselves…. My hand stills over his heart. I don’t even know if I can do that.
“Why me?” I finally put a voice to the feelings inside me.
“Why not you?”
“Because I’m the enemy,” I point out in exasperation. Put like that, none of this makes sense. “Because you took one look at me and you decided then and there that you wanted me—”
“We discussed this.”
I don’t know where they come from, but the words just tear loose. “And maybe you weren’t convincing enough.”
The second they’re out, I want them back.
But Thiago merely props one hand under the back of his neck, so his face tilts enough that he can see me. He sighs. “Do you want to hear a story?”
“Only if it has some means of explaining this.”