On that note, our appetizers arrived, and thankfully, Lancer put his planning book away. As I dug into the cheesy goodness before us, I internally processed the fact that the Duke of Avalon raised Lancer.
A pair of gray eyes flashed in my mind. The image caught me so off guard I startled in my seat.
“Allie, are you all right?” Lancer smirked and handed me back the fork I dropped.
“Yes.” I swallowed the shock and took the utensil. “Just amazed we’re getting married, finally.”
His warm gaze softened my heart. “You have no idea how much I want to make you my wife.”
A blush crept up my neck, heating my cheeks. That same heat did nothing to stop the hand under the table from clutching my napkin for dear life. It trembled at the sight just witnessed in my mind’s eye.
I continued through dinner, pretending that everything on the outside was perfect while, on the inside, I seemed to be coming apart.
Why did I always see gray?
Whose eyes were those?
So piercing, and longing, and true.
TWO
Avalon
The sound of strings cut through the air of the ballroom in time with the slashing of my blade. With my left hand tucked behind my back, I danced over the marble floor. I imagined enemies coming at me one by one.
The clipping of boots muted over the crescendo of cellos and violins. Sweat trickled down my face as I spun, promising vow after vow to her.
I will save you.
I will end Mordred.
I will give you the life you deserve.
With a growl, I came to a halt as the last strain faded in the ballroom. My eyes rested upon the statue of Eros and Psyche. I swallowed back the pain of knowing her essence still clung to every fiber of this estate.
“How do you like it?” Merlin’s voice brought me back to the present.
“It is well balanced, a good weight, and seems firm.” I turned over my shoulder to glance at Merlin with a smile. “I can tell you Exi enjoys being back in this form.”
The metal glinted in the light cast from the open windows. Scrolling letters in Latin graced the blade. Hundreds of years ago, when I pulled the sword from the lake for the first time, I’d stood in awe, but Excalibur looked even better now.
“Good.” Merlin’s smug smile told me everything he thought. “Vivian will be pleased. She helped with its new design.”
I nodded. “She did well.”
In one smooth motion, I slid my trusted weapon into the black leather sheath. Long ago, I lost the original sheath, and that had caused me many pains. “Are the men ready for me?”
Merlin bowed his head. “They are, sir.”
As I fell in step next to Merlin, I quietly asked, “Any news of her?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him glance up at me. “Yes, sir.”
I drew in a deep breath. “We shall speak of that in the meeting.”
“Of course.” Merlin continued to lead us toward the once hidden stairwell to the third floor of the castle.
The sound of men’s laughter and bantering ricocheted off the stone walls as we drew closer. My home wasn’t so empty anymore. From far and wide, my knights came back to me with Lady Vivian’s guidance. How she pulled off such a feat I’d never know, nor would I ever question.
“Your Majesty.” A strong Scottish brogue met me at the top step.
Five men scattered around the Round Table. Five men who had fought by my side in the past promised to fight again with me in the future. The corners of my lips tugged into a tight smile, knowing I still had faithful friends.
So many in the past had abandoned or betrayed me.
When I lost Alexandria, my very soul shattered, and I allowed the familiar darkness to wrap me in his cold embrace. For now, I functioned normally with a steel trap around my heart. Yet in my dreams, I heard her voice, felt her lips, saw her smile.
The man she saved would wake in the night and cry silent tears. That familiar wound would open and bleed. Every morning, I had to wake and repair the damage done in the darkness.
I couldn’t reach her.
Merlin’s magical ring that led us to each other had broken upon my resurrection. No matter how much I begged and pleaded with him to make another—he refused.
My men, my friends carried me through my day-to-day now. Their candor, brutish language, and reassurances that we’d get Alexandria back pushed me to be the man she needed me to be.
Not a sniffling man, but an impenetrable king.
John rose from his seat at the table and offered me a genuine smile. “I hear that Excalibur suits you well, Arthur.”
Forcing a smile, I nodded. “Fits like a glove.”
The men spoke one by one, filling me in on what they’d learned from the research Alexandria left here from her grandmother. Since Lancer and Mordred didn’t know about the impressive clutch, we hadn’t mentioned it outside of castle walls.
My thoughts drifted in and out frombeing focused on the conversation at hand around the table to fleeting memories.
Alexandria laughing.
Alexandria kissing me.
Alexandria in my arms.
Alexandria.
Alexandria.
Alexandria.
Always Alexandria.
“Sir?” David’s question brought me back to the present.
“Sorry.” I shook my head and stole a glance over to Merlin. “Go on.”
His lips pressed together tightly as if knowing exactly where my mind had gone.
You belong in the night, where weakness can be seen but not heard. The aware part of my brain scolded the human inside. Keep a lid on your emotions. Do not weaken me.
John took over the conversation. “Vivian and I think we can disconnect Diana from G.R.A.I.L. without harming her physical body.” His eyes flickered over each man at the table. “That would mean an infiltration and a fight.”
Ah, that’s right.
I’d almost forgotten about Diana.
In the research Alexandria brought to Caliburn, it appeared that Mordred wanted to recreate a version of the Holy Grail, but he wanted to bind it to a human spirit. That same spirit belonged to John’s former wife, who he’d wed in secret.
Mordred knew just how to play with people’s hearts.
John in this life was an exorcist from America, sought out for his immense understanding and power in demonology. In his past life, he’d been the Grail Seeker, Lancelot’s own son, Galahad.
Knowing the woman he loved was being used by Mordred must boil his blood. And even worse— an understanding he might have to take her life to save millions from Mordred’s plot must keep him up at night.
I knew Alexandria would be safe with Lancer.
For now.
Any day, Mordred could use Lament to brainwash Lancer, and God only knew what he’d do to Alexandria then.
Listening to my men go back and forth on the logistics of infiltrating G.R.A.I.L., I started playing with the two rings tinkling together on their chain around my neck.
“And with that, I believe we should adjourn ourselves to get as much information on Mordred’s giant lab and start building our attack.” John stood from his seat, and the others followed. “Once we’ve gathered more, we’ll let you know.”
I snapped back to reality.
“Thank you.” My gaze wandered over each of their faces. “Truly, my friends thank you.”
Isaac shrugged playfully. “We have a second chance to live, thanks to you, Arthur. We will always come when you call.”
They filtered out of the ancient hall one after the other, leaving Merlin and me alone.
Scrubbing my face with both hands, I turned to Merlin. “You said you had word of Alexandria?”
He nodded.
Every muscle in my body braced itself. “Tell me.”
Merlin didn’t say a word as he rose to his feet. He merely pulled an envelope from his vest pocket and slid it over the table’s worn surface tow
ard me.
“Before you read it, just know this isn’t the end.” My old friend placed a hand on my shoulder.
With trembling fingers, I turned the envelope upward, and a choking sound stuck in my throat. The elegant calligraphy and ivory embossed design made my stomach sink to my feet. Still, I slipped my finger under the flap and tore it open.
My heart beat rapidly inside its cage as I freed the invitation. Gorgeous light blue and purple mingled together on a single piece of paper. The words blurred suddenly, and I lowered my head.
Merlin gently squeezed my shoulder. “Arthur?”
I lifted the paper to Merlin and allowed him to stare at the smiling couple pictured below the words;
You are cordially invited to celebrate the engagement of Lancer Rivers to Alexandria York.
“What do I do, Merlin?” Bone-shattering sorrow engulfed me, and I didn’t even try to fight the tears burning my eyes. “What can I do?”
His sigh punctuated the silence before he spoke. “We do all that we can until we can do it no longer.”
Rising to my feet, I took the invitation from Merlin’s fingertips and spun on my heel. “I’ll fucking kill him.”
The cold tone of my voice didn’t surprise my confidant. He let me walk out of the hall and stumble my way back to my chambers where I could scream, and howl, and cry alone.
Alone.
A piece of my heart fell away and turned to ash.
I leaned against the door in the safety of my room, grasping for anything that would keep me from drowning.
They’re engaged to be married.
She promised me—but she doesn’t remember.
I’m losing her again.
Sucking in a broken gasp of air, I fell to my knees.
This would be the last time.
We had no more chances.
“God, please,” I begged, allowing the human within a reprieve. “Please don’t take her away from me.”
Even the monstrous part of me seemed subdued, unwilling to admit a possible defeat so soon.
I sat in silence for hours.
Thinking of her and of me.
Thinking of the life we could have.
Dreaming of what could be.
THREE
Alexandria
Two weeks later …
People glided around me in an array of colors and fabrics. Light music wafted over the low hum of conversations and the clinking of glasses. The grand ballroom in the hotel Lancer picked seemed fit for royalty, not the commoners that we were.
Since our arrival in a black limousine, red carpet and all, hundreds of people I’d never met before bombarded Lancer and me with congratulations.
Elaine made sure the deep blue gown I wore showed no signs of imperfection. The smooth fabric caressed my curves, but the skirts flowed easily for dancing. Even though the sleeves were off-the-shoulder, the cut of the neck and back played modestly against my pale skin.
Now I found myself stuck on the edge of the dance floor with Lancer. He spoke with fervor to his friend, Victor Scott, who I’d just met tonight.
Victor seemed nice enough, but something about his distant hazel eyes caused me to worry. Sometimes, he and Lancer slipped into the same empty stare.
I sipped my champagne slowly, trying not to drown myself from the embarrassment of being on display.
Before I wondered if I could take any more political jargon, Elaine cut through the crowd with Sir Thomas Mordred by her side. Behind them, Dr. Ivan Tristan strode with Morgan Le Fay, though they seemed stiff next to each other and unwilling to touch.
“Thomas, so happy to see you.” Lancer broke off his conversation with Victor and embraced the owner of G.R.A.I.L. Corp.
The circles Lancer ran in continued to surprise me.
“You look absolutely ravishing, Alexandria.” Morgan came to my rescue while Elaine fought for Thomas’s attention. The raven-haired woman linked arms with me, and she leaned closer. “How are you faring under all this attention?”
I laughed, somewhat exasperated. “Well, it is certainly a lot of attention.” My smile faded, and I glanced over at the kind woman. “I suppose I’m just nervous. Isn’t that normal for a bride before her wedding?”
Morgan’s face fell slightly before she recovered, and she chuckled. “Well, is it an excited nervous or an ‘ohmygoodness, I’mmakingahugemistake’nervous?”
Pausing, I frowned. “I don’t know.”
She arched a brow. “You don’t know?” Her head tilted curiously. “How come?”
I exhaled an exasperated sigh. “I just feel like I’m missing something.” Wringing my hands, I continued, “Like I’m forgetting something. It’s been like this since the accident, Morgan, and it’s not getting better. If anything, it’s worse.”
Morgan glanced over my shoulder toward the small foursome, where Lancer was caught up in yet another conversation.
“Come with me.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get some air, okay?”
Nodding, I didn’t fight her. Tears of frustration threatened to spill, and I couldn’t let anyone see me, the “happy” bride-to-be, crying at her extravagant engagement party.
The crisp night air reminded me that even though April was just around the bend, March would hang on for as long as possible. We stood alone on the terrace, and Morgan walked to the balcony, overlooking the garden and illuminated fountain below.
“You wouldn’t be the first bride to be nervous,” she started gently. “Just make sure this is something you want to do.”
Guilt crept up my spine and mingled with the icy air. “I love Lancer. I really do.”
“But?” Morgan pressed.
My gaze found her onyx eyes, and I shook my head. “I have no way to explain it. I just know I’m missing something or someone very important.”
Her full lips thinned, and she nodded, staying silent.
We stood there for a few moments, each of us lost in thought, before she rubbed my arm. “Come inside whenever you are ready. I’ll cover for you.” She winked. “Take your time.”
I forced a smile. “Thank you, Morgan.”
She left me on my own to stare up at the stars in the cloudless sky. The moon reflected back at me, glowering as if judging me for not remembering.
“Make me remember,” I whispered to the silver spotlight. “Please.”
“Are you all right?”
A soft voice carried on the slight breeze that ruffled my hair. My fingers clutched the railing tighter, terrified someone had overheard my conversation with Morgan.
Turning with a charming smile, I pivoted to face the passerby. “I’m just getting some air and enjoying the moonlight—”
Words escaped me.
The man before me stood in the shadow of the moon, but the light from inside the ballroom’s chandeliers illuminated every shadowed feature.
Tall, yet just a bit shorter than Lancer.
Broad, but lean in his build.
He stood with his hands balled by his sides, cutting an impressive figure in his tuxedo.
When my eyes wandered to his face, my stomach flipped.
Oh, my.
Black hair fell over his well-sculpted brows. Every angle and curve of his face was void of imperfection.
His eyes.
“Miss?” He took a step forward. “It’s freezing out here.”
Too busy studying him, my fingers itching to bring him to life, I barely heard his question. “Hmm?”
The sideways smirk sent blood rushing to my face, and I remembered myself. “Oh, right. Yes, it gets cold at night.”
Really?
Get a grip!
The stranger’s chuckle sounded like vocal velvet and warmed me instantly. “Please, allow me.” He shrugged off his tuxedo jacket and offered it to me.
“Oh, well.” I wasn’t sure what to do.
I am cold.
But should I accept another man’s jacket?
He made my choice for me, the warmth
of his body still blazing from the jacket, and I gripped it tighter.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Spice, whiskey, and peppermint danced in my nose, and I snuggled deeper intothe expensive fabric. His scent seemed to put my mind at ease, and I relished the quiet.
“So what is the bride-to-be doing outside all by herself?” he leaned against the balcony, his biceps flexing under his white dress shirt. “Where’s Lancer?”
You’re engaged, for God’s sake!
“Um, he’s talking inside.” I hoped my smile appeared genuine. “I needed some space from all of the people. I’m not used to crowds.”
“I see.” He turned to look at me, and my breath caught.
Gray eyes with a splash of green seemed to glow in the moonlight. This close, I drew his face to memory in my mind.
I loved Lancer, no question, and I found him extremely attractive.
But this man … this man held a magic I couldn’t describe.
He didn’t look at me. He looked through me.
He saw me.
My gaze drifted and fell on his lips.
A strange sense of longing pulled in my core. Like a moon coming back into orbit around my planet. Or a ship coming back to port after so much time away.
His own eyes hooded, and he shifted closer. “What is it?”
Everything grew foggy. My mind, my senses, my body—everything. Yet I wasn’t afraid.
“I don’t know.” Studying his face, I narrowed my eyes. “Have we met before?”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the force. “No, but it certainly feels like we have.”
“Yeah.” Licking my lips, I broke away from his stare. “I’m sorry. You must think I’m crazy.”
Without warning, his large hand covered mine on the balcony. “I don’t.”
What is this?
My heart seemed thrilled at this stranger’s attention.
Why?
Why him?
Why now when Lancer and I are so close to getting married?
Is this what I’ve been missing?
A different path?
“Alexandria!” Lancer’s voice cut through the moment, and the stranger removed his hand from mine. “There you are, baby.”
Return to Avalon: Book #4 (The Legend Series) Page 2