by David Horne
“I guess things always have to change,” he muttered, then rose from his seat. The two of them left the cinema behind and walked down the high street. There were still a few stores open for business, and a garage that was doing well. The loud clanking and screeching of tools doing their jobs greeted their ears. Simon wondered what Logan was thinking about as he walked along.
“It must be strange to be back after all this time,” Simon said.
“It is in some ways. Like I said, a lot has changed, a lot has stayed the same. I guess memory is a funny thing. You expect things to be a certain way. It's probably different for you. The changes aren't so apparent because you've seen them happen gradually, but I come back and have to put what I see now together with my memories. Aren't people sad that so much has moved to the city? It's like there's no life here anymore.”
“They were, but it's not like anyone could have done anything to stop it. The city got bigger and bigger. It's the same story all over the country. Do you know about the recession?” Simon asked. All the time they talked, he wondered where Logan had been all these years. The fact that he wasn't able to ask him yet burned inside.
“Only in passing.”
“There was a big crash in the housing market. Everything went badly for so many people. The banks messed up. Of course, they eventually were bailed out by the government, but the people had to suffer. Nobody had much of anything so if anyone did want to start up something here they didn't have any capital. There were job cuts all over the place. It was a hard time for everyone.”
Logan shook his head. “Sometimes you wonder where it's all going to end. I look around here now and I don't see much hope. Used to be everyone was looking toward the future, but now people live in fear.”
“That's what life is like, fear of not having enough, of not being good enough. The world is a scary place.”
“Only because that's what they want you to think. Trust me, you take yourself out of the bubble for a little while and you realize how stupid the world is sometimes, how so many things don't really matter.”
His gaze drifted off into the distance. There were so many questions Simon wanted to ask, but he had to bite his tongue.
“Do you remember Big Al's diner?”
“Hell yeah! Don't tell me Big Al is still around.”
“Unfortunately, he's not, but his son is, and the diner still has the name. You want to go get a milkshake?”
“Sure thing,” Logan said happily. The two of them walked up the main street and came to the diner, located on the corner. It was the best-looking building, and the only one that could really be said to be prospering well. Simon was greeted by name by Al's son, Jason. The man was big himself, but an affable chap.
“I heard you were back in town. It's so good to see you. Anything you want today, it's on the house,” Al said when he saw Logan.
“That's very kind of you,” Logan said, stiffening. The two of them sat in a booth by the window, watching the world go by.
“Is it strange, how many people know you even though you only got back in town a couple of days ago?” Simon asked.
“That sounds suspiciously like an interview question,” Logan teased. He tapped his fingers on the table, and gazed out of the window. “It's a little strange, but I don't think anyone can really, truly know me. I guess it's nice to know that people remember me after all this time.”
“It went away for a while. At least, people didn't really talk about it. Probably out of respect for your family. I read up on some of the articles that were written at the time. There were a lot of theories going on about your father and—”
“Simon. Stop right there. I told you I'm not prepared to talk about that yet,” Logan said tersely. Simon looked down at the menu and tried not to feel stupid.
Jason came over and took their order. Soon enough Simon had a plate of eggs and bacon sitting in front of him. They each had a chocolate milkshake. Apparently Jackie's breakfast had been enough to fill Logan up, since he did not order anything.
“So what made you decide to want to become a reporter?” Logan asked.
“I don't know, really. I always liked learning things, researching things. I wrote for the school paper and it just went from there. People kept advising me against it because they said there wasn't a future in it, but then they started saying that about a lot of things. I guess I wanted to do something that mattered. Writing stories is one thing, but I never had the imagination for that. Reporting on things...you know, I used to watch the news with my parents and I got so frustrated about how they only talked about the most depressing, worrisome things. That, and sports. I wanted to report on the good stories, the stories that showed the best of humanity, the ones that could inspire people and help them reach greater heights. I wanted to show people that the truth of the world doesn't have to be misery and hardship. But it wasn't as easy as all that. It's a very competitive field and, at the moment I'm working at this magazine with only a few writers. To them, I'm just an upstart, and I've been waiting for an opportunity to prove myself.”
“And you think that opportunity is me?”
“Maybe,” Simon said.
“What about your folks? They still around?”
“Not here. My mom is down in Florida. She's living with her sister. It's better for her health. If I had been younger when dad died then I would have probably gone with her, but I liked it here too much.”
“I'm sorry to hear about your father.”
“I'm sorry to hear about yours too.”
“I didn't expect him to be alive when I came back. Still, it's a hard thing. Your parents are constants in your life. When they go before their time it's always a difficult thing to take.”
Simon scooped up the last of his eggs and finished off his milkshake. An awkward slurping sound broke the silence. Logan smiled.
“I guess we should continue our walk,” he said. They left the diner, nodding to Jason as they left. Their path took them away from the main street into places with fewer people, and more nature. The crisp air was fresh against their skin. It was one of those days that felt like it could go on forever. Simon wanted it to go on forever. As they walked, he looked longingly at Logan, wondering about all the things the man had been through, and all the mysteries that were yet to be revealed.
“When I was younger, I wanted to work in the cinema. That's all I wanted to do. Now that I'm grown up...things seem more confusing. It's funny, isn’t it, how you're supposed to be more sure of yourself when you're an adult, but life is much simpler when you're a kid.”
“You have fewer things to worry about,” Simon said. “Do you know how long you're staying around for?”
“I don't know yet. As long as Bob and Jackie are happy to keep me around. I thought that this place would feel like home when I came back, but I'm not sure it does.”
“It might get back to that. I think home is more about the people than the place. My home right now is Amy. I couldn't imagine life without her. She was actually a little angry at me for saying I could do this story.”
“Why?”
“She's one of the few people Bob told about you. He didn't say much, but she knew it was a big deal. She didn't want me causing them any pain. I don't want that either, you know. I just...”
“You just want to tell the story.”
“Exactly.”
“I get you. Bob may not see it that way. I guess it's different for them. They had to live through all the aftermath.”
“Have you seen your mom yet?”
“Not yet,” Logan said. The answer surprised Simon.
“Why not?”
“It's been a long time. I'm afraid I won't know what to say to her. In some ways I'm glad she wasn't at the reception. Bob told me how she is.”
“She was at the ceremony. She was in good spirits then. I think she'd be happy to see you.”
“Maybe,” Logan said. The two of them continued walking through a woodland. Simon didn't really know where th
ey were heading, or even if Logan had a destination in mind. Sometimes it was enough just to walk.
The trees opened, and Simon knew that Logan did have a plan. Before them lay the sea. The golden sand stretched around. Small jetties protruded into the water. The sea ebbed and flowed. It was deep blue, and the further out Simon gazed, the calmer and more unbroken it seemed. Clouds swirled overhead and as they stepped onto the beach Simon's feet began to sink into the sand. Logan whipped his shoes off, and Simon followed suit, carrying his shoes as they walked to the edge of the water. There were a few boats out fishing. Simon glanced at Logan, wondering why he had brought him here.
“I wanted to come back here the first night, but Bob didn't want to. Did you know that he developed a fear of the water after what happened to me? Apparently he won't even come here anymore. It's sad really, when this place is so beautiful.”
“Isn't this hard for you?” Simon asked.
“Not really. I dreamed of this place. This is the place of my rebirth,” Logan said. He peeled off his top and threw it on the ground, along with his shoes. “Come on,” he said, and ran forward. The water splashed around his ankles, then Logan himself disappeared as he dove into the foamy waves. For a moment Simon lost sight of him as Logan vanished under the surface, but then the surface broke and Logan was there, triumphant. He beckoned Simon in, splashing the water around him. His toned physique was shining gloriously.
Simon wriggled out of his clothes and felt self-conscious about his thin, pale body, especially when compared to Logan's majestic frame, but he left his clothes and satchel behind as he ran to the sea, kicking up sand after every footstep.
“Oh my God it's cold!” he exclaimed as he entered the water.
“You'll get used to it once you're in,” Logan said, and pushed his arms against the water, sending a huge wave in Simon's direction. Simon only barely saw it before it was too late. He turned his head away and raised his arms in defense, but the water buffeted him. He yelled in shock as the cold drops trickled down his body.
“The best way to handle it is to dive right in,” Logan cried. With a monstrous roar he lunged toward Simon and tackled him. Simon was powerless to resist. The muscular arms wrapped around him like a vice and pushed him into the water. Simon writhed, then surrendered to him. Their bodies smashed through the water and fell underneath the surface. It only lasted a moment, but Simon's heart beat frantically for a long while after that. It worked as well, now that Simon had been under the surface, he found it more comfortable to be in the sea.
Logan laughed as he held out a hand and pulled Simon up. They were deep enough that the water reached the middle of Simon's stomach, so they could lean back in the water and let it slip over their shoulders. They bobbed closely to one another. Occasionally, their legs would touch under the water. Simon hoped the water was murky and opaque enough that it hid his arousal. Feeling Logan's lithe, hairy legs brush against his own filled him with a deep thrill, and he had to look around to make sure that nobody witnessed them.
It almost felt as though they were in their own little world, the two of them lost to everything else. Out here, in the middle of the sea, Simon didn't have to worry about the other writers, Bob, Jackie, or Amy. Being with Logan felt right, whether he was writing the article or not.
“I spend so much time in the city that I often forget we have this place here,” Simon said.
“It's impossible to forget for me,” Logan said. He stood up for a moment and gazed out to the horizon. His body was that of a god. The water streamed along the rippling muscles, and Simon couldn't help but stare. Logan turned to face him. Simon snapped his head away, cheeks burning red. Over the years he had become adept at hiding his attraction for someone, but on this occasion he didn't know if he had managed to turn his head away quickly enough.
“Sometimes I look at myself and I wonder where all the time has gone. I think back to that day when the little boy came out here with his father, filled with ideas about the future. I suppose life doesn't work out like we imagine for anyone,” Logan said. Simon listened silently, hoping that Logan would open up and reveal more about his past, but Logan fell into silence too.
After a few moments, Logan slipped underneath the water again. Playfully, he splashed Simon, who splashed back. The two of them grew more vigorous until huge foamy walls of water were being flung back and forth between them. Laughter erupted from them, and then Logan tackled Simon again. Their arms were entwined together, and Simon had no chance against the pure strength of Logan. They fell under the water, submerged completely. Simon kept his eyes closed, but felt around with his hands. They brushed against the bed of hair that ran down Logan's torso. He felt the flat stomach, and then suddenly there was a rush of air as Logan lifted him up.
“Let me go!” Simon said. Logan promptly dropped him in the water, leaving him to splash around. Simon took it in good humor though, and swam close by him. The two men were intimately close. Simon could feel the heat being exuded from Logan's body. Each breath Simon took was halting. Each beat of his heart was more powerful than the last. Water dripped along their bodies. The sun baked their skin. Their eyes locked. Simon was sure he saw a reflection of his own feelings in Logan's eyes.
Moving closer, he reached out with one hand and rested it against Logan's waist. Logan didn't flinch. Taking this as encouragement, Simon moved in closer, until their bodies were almost pressing against each other. With mere inches between them, Simon tilted his neck back to look up at Logan, hoping that the man could see the desire swimming in Simon's eyes. Tilting his head to the side, Simon leaned in and for a moment Logan mimicked the pattern. Closing his eyes, Simon prepared himself for the bliss to come, for the soft heat that would follow, but neither came. Nor did the feeling of Logan's bristling beard against Simon's soft skin.
The sounds of others jumping in nearby interrupted them. Logan jerked back, and turned away from Simon. He looked at the others for a moment, a group of youths who were fooling around.
“It's time we were going,” Logan said. Simon was crestfallen. He swam back as well, wondering why Logan had pulled back. Had he misjudged the situation completely? He picked up his clothes and satchel. Logan was already striding back across the beach. Simon had to skip to catch up with him.
“Where do you want to go now?” Simon said, unsure if he did a good job at hiding the desperate hope from his voice.
“I think it's better if we call it a day,” Logan said. “It's been fun though.”
“Yes, it has. What about the article?”
“I'll let you know, Simon, but it really has been a day to remember.”
With those words Logan disappeared into the trees, leaving Simon to dry himself off in the sun.
Chapter Eight
With mixed feelings, Simon returned home. He was alone, for Amy was at work. Sighing, he placed his satchel on the coffee table and threw himself on the bed. His hand fell down his body as his thoughts turned to Logan. Would he have been in paradise had those kids not made that racket, or did Logan pull away for some other reason? All Simon could think about was the deep yearning within his own heart for that man. Spending time with him had only increased the attraction he felt, and thoughts of him were unshakable.
Simon closed his eyes and embraced another world, a world where he and Logan had disappeared into the crystal sea and enjoyed the delights of their bodies. The feeling of Logan's skin against his had not fallen into illusion yet. Simon imagined Logan whispering in his ear as his arm reached around Simon's body, pulling the younger man in closer. A gasp burst out of Simon's mouth as his hand ran down his body and pleasure started to spread out all over him. Murmurs of contentment came out with every breath as Simon forgot he was in his own bed. In his mind, he was with Logan, lying with him upon a seashell. Fish swam by, but the two of them were locked in an eternal embrace. Simon's hands ran down Logan's muscles, enjoying exploring every inch of his formidable body. All his life Simon had wanted a man just like that, one wh
o could take on the very world if he wanted.
Intense sensations flooded Simon's mind as he pleasured his own body, molding his arousal like a piece of clay. It simmered in his blood and his flesh before roaring to life. Simon twisted and turned on the bed, not thinking about anyone but Logan. No other man he had ever met or fantasized about could compare to the majesty of Logan. His chest heaved as he gripped himself tightly, teasing himself, wanting the pleasure to last as long as possible.
Resting his hand against his own heart, Simon could feel it beating frantically, and he loved every second of it. He imagined Logan carrying him to a palace under the sea where they would lie on a bed of coral and mermaids would sing to them while they made love. Logan would come over him and take his body, wrapping him up in his arms, promising to never let him go, to never let anything bad happen to him.
“Oh, Logan,” Simon groaned as he was unable to hold the pleasure inside him any longer. In one hot burst he exploded, the afterglow settling over him like a blanket. The feeling that remained was bittersweet though, for as intense as the fantasy was, the reality was cold and lonely. Logan wasn't by his side whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Logan had walked away, spurned him, and Simon had no idea why.
“Are you here?!” Amy called out, having just returned from work. Simon quickly sorted himself out and got dressed, then left his room. Amy smiled at him.
“How was it?” she asked.
“It was...interesting,” he said.
“Oh, only interesting? I take it he wasn't very forthcoming?”
“Actually we spent the whole day together. Jackie wasn't very fond of the idea of writing a story, but Logan was...I think he was open to it.”
“You spent the whole day with him and you still don't know?”
“He's not like other men Amy. He's...” Simon struggled, trying to think of a way to describe Logan. At that moment he realized that despite spending a day with the man, he hardly knew Logan at all. “It's like he'll tell you one thing, and then he'll say something that will make you think completely differently. He's so complicated, and he wouldn't talk about his time away at all. He said he wanted to get to know me first, to see if he could trust me with his story.”