Casey’s stomach churned and she felt like she might throw up. She fought the urge, flattening her free hand against her belly as Brady led them down the winding stairs. A wave of fatigue suddenly hit her, stopping her in her tracks.
Brady immediately turned to her. “Casey? Are you okay?”
Casey said nothing but nodded. This wasn’t the first morning she’d woken up nauseous, she realized. Or with aching breasts.
She could suddenly feel the blood draining out of her face.
Oh…! she thought, eyes widening.
“Casey?” Brady studied her closely.
“I’m fine,” she said, quickly forcing a smile. “All good here. I’m okay.”
Brady looked at her doubtfully, but said nothing else for the moment. They continued down the staircase, Casey taking extra care with her footing.
She couldn’t be pregnant, could she? Not after just a week...even if it was a week of almost constant sex...unless it had happened in the other world. They’d used no protection, obviously, but that hadn’t stopped them. The thought of pregnancy had never entered her mind. Besides, could a human woman even get pregnant by a male shifter?
Apparently so.
It didn’t take her long to realize that she couldn’t tell Brady yet. He’d told her of all the women, shifter and human alike, who had tried to trap him into marriage. She couldn’t live with the thought of him believing that of her. She was with him because she loved him. Surely he would know that, wouldn’t he?
She just didn’t know how he felt about her. Liking her wasn’t enough. Being fond of her wasn’t enough. She wanted love. She wanted him to love her as fiercely and completely as she loved him.
She lost her train of thought as they entered the courtyard and saw Zack and Jasmine standing by the Arch. She ran to Jasmine and hugged her tightly. Zack simply nodded a greeting to Brady, who nodded back.
“What’s going on?” Brady asked.
“We think Evan Wallace might be gone.” Zack folded his arms over his chest and shrugged. “There’s no sign of him at his apartment or at the college. It looks like he left in a hurry.”
“And he hasn’t been back to the club, either.” Jasmine held Casey at arm’s length and smiled. “Something here is sure agreeing with you. You look amazing.”
Casey and Brady shared a quick, knowing glance.
“Do you think it’s safe to come back?” Brady asked.
“Yeah, I do.” Zack frowned slightly. “Although if he’s just gone underground, there’s a chance that he’ll pop up again once he knows Casey’s back.”
Brady turned to Casey, his brow knitted with concern. “What do you want to do?”
“I…” Casey’s voice faded as she looked from Brady to Jasmine and Zack. As much as she had loved her time in this world, it wasn’t truly her home. Her life was in New York. For years, she had planned her future—graduate school, a PhD, her own practice. Everything she had done in her carefully structured life had been to those ends. She couldn’t give that up, could she? Not even for Brady.
And then there was the possibility of a baby. If she really was pregnant, she didn’t relish the thought of giving birth in a world where medical science was medieval at best.
“I want to go back,” she heard herself say, her own voice alien to herself. She looked back at Brady and nodded. “I want to go home.”
“Do you really have to go back so soon?” Elana hugged Brady tightly. “You’ve only just come back!”
“I know, Mother.” Brady smiled and kissed her cheek. “We’ll be back again.”
“We?” Alix threw Casey a dirty look.
“Yes, ‘we.’” Brady made his way to Alix. He held her at arm’s length for a moment. “Try not to drive everyone crazy, would you, please?”
“No promises.” Alix embraced him, and for just an instant, Casey thought she could see the true Alix hidden beneath the attitude. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“No promises.” Brady grinned and kissed her forehead.
“Next time, you have to stay longer,” Gareth said as he took his turn hugging Brady. “We need to go on a hunt, the way we did when you were younger.”
“We hunted once,” Brady said, smiling. “And you insisted on coming home early because you didn’t like sleeping outdoors.”
“Well…” Gareth straightened his shoulders. “We’ll discuss hunting stories, then.”
“Absolutely.”
As they spoke, Casey stood near the Arch, feeling out of place and conspicuous. She didn’t notice Elana approaching.
“Casey?”
“Yes, my Queen?”
Elana rolled her eyes. “Please. Just call me Elana. All this ‘queen’ stuff drives me crazy sometimes.”
“Yes, my…” Casey caught herself and smiled. “Yes, Elana.”
“We’re going to miss you,” Elana said quietly. “Even Alix.”
“That’s probably debatable,” Casey said, glancing over at Alix, who was giving her a fierce side-eye.
“She’s just overprotective of Brady. She’ll outgrow it sooner or later.” Smiling gently, Elana reached out and touched Casey’s stomach with the tips of her fingers. “Have you told Brady yet?”
“How did you know?” Casey asked, surprised.
“Your eyes.” Elana tipped up Casey’s chin, gazing at her eyes. “I can see the happiness in them. Just like I see it in Braydon’s eyes.” She paused. “Do you love my son?”
Casey slowly nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“Then stay with him. Give him a home and a child and a future.” Elana’s eyes closed for a moment. “I thought I’d lost him before. Please…” Elana looked into Casey’s eyes again. “Make him happy.”
Casey smiled. “I will.”
Elana gave Casey a gentle hug and stepped away so Gareth could shake her hand. She glanced over Gareth’s shoulder and saw that Brady was watching her with a soft smile on his face.
“We should go,” he said as he took Casey’s hand. “We’ll be back soon. We promise.”
Casey took one more look at Brady’s family, at his world, and hoped against hope that it wouldn’t be for the last time.
Then, they were in the portal and the world fell away.
22
Casey
“Tell me about Savannah.”
Casey said the words before she could stop herself. She watched Brady’s reaction. His brows knit into a faint frown as he rolled his head on the pillow to look at her. Casey had tucked herself into his arms, curled up beside him with their bare legs intertwined.
Brady took a deep breath and sighed in resignation. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
He said nothing for a few minutes, looking up towards the ceiling. They had been back in New York for only a few days and Casey was having a difficult time readjusting to it. Her apartment was ruined. She had missed weeks of classes. She had no job and no income at the moment. Everything was as wrong as it could be.
Except for Brady. And the baby.
He insisted that she stay with him at his apartment, and Casey could hardly refuse the offer. She didn’t want to; over the last couple of weeks, she had grown accustomed to sleeping beside him and having his solid warmth pressed beside her. Even on the nights they didn’t make love, she felt connected to him. When he curled up behind her and flattened his hand across her belly, she wondered if he might already suspect she was pregnant.
The only thing nagging at her now was his seeming inability to tell her he loved her. She sensed that he loved her, felt it every time he touched her, every time they kissed. She could look into his eyes and see the affection in them. When he gazed at her, he did so greedily, as if trying to take all of her in at once. But he didn’t say the words. And so, neither did she.
“I met Savannah ten years ago,” Brady finally said, shaking Casey from her thoughts. “She was at the club with a bunch of her friends. Bachelorette party. She was the maid of honor, so she was throwing the whole thing.�
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Casey watched a slight smile curl at the corner of Brady’s full lips. He continued to stare at the ceiling, a million miles away. A faint tendril of jealousy uncoiled inside her, even though she tried to force it away.
“Her friends had gotten into an argument with another bachelorette party over penis straws.” Brady laughed and looked at Casey again. “Apparently, the opposing party had stolen the ones for Savannah’s friends. I don’t know...there were a lot of penis-shaped odds and ends floating around that night.”
Casey managed a smile. “Sounds like every bachelorette party I’ve ever gone to.”
“I had to break up a fight between the two maids of honor and that’s when I met her.” He disappeared into his memories again. “She slugged me. Solid right-hook. Somebody called the cops, and the last I saw of her that night, she was being taken away in a patrol car.”
“Sounds like a fairy tale.” Casey suddenly wanted him to stop talking about it. Maybe she didn’t need to know how beautiful and perfect Savannah had been. Maybe it would be better if she didn’t know what standard she needed to live up to.
“I took care of her bail,” Brady said quietly, his smile beginning to fade. “She came back the next day and apologized for everything. I liked her, and we began dating after that.”
“Mmm-hmm…” Casey closed her eyes and regretted asking him about Savannah. She didn’t know what she’d expected him to say. That Savannah had been okay, but boring? That he had loved her, but he hadn’t loved her loved her? This was a mistake. A huge mistake.
“Why do you want to know?” Brady asked, looking over to her again. “You look like this is bothering you.”
Yes, it’s bothering me, she wanted to say. I just want to know why you loved her and not me.
“Because she was important to you,” she said instead. “She’s still a part of your life, even if she’s not here.”
Brady thought about that for a moment. “I took it hard when she died. I know Jasmine’s probably told you the story.”
“Yeah,” Casey said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“It was a drunk driver. Swerved over into our side of the road. I was driving. I thought she had her seat belt on, but she always complained about wearing one.” Brady’s eyes darkened. “She survived the crash, but there was too much brain damage. By the time I got her out of the car, everything that made Savannah Savannah was gone.”
The pain in his voice broke Casey’s heart. She hadn’t meant for him to have to relive that night. She pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder, her hand flattening over his chest. “Brady…”
“I was supposed to protect her,” Brady said quietly. His voice was thick with unshed tears. “She trusted me. She loved me. And I was supposed to keep her safe. But I couldn’t…”
Casey rose up beside him, her weight on her elbow. “It wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head quickly, looking away.
“Brady...she loved you. You did everything she needed you to do. More, probably.” Casey gently stroked Brady’s hair from his forehead. “She knew how much you loved her.”
“We had a fight, just before we left that night.” Brady’s voice was little more than a whisper. He wouldn’t meet Casey’s gaze, lost in his past. “She wanted me to sell the club and move out west with her. I tried to explain about my responsibilities, but it made no sense to her. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just leave.”
Casey watched him struggle to balance his emotions. Pain at Savannah’s loss. Anger at their argument. Guilt for her death.
“We were arguing when the car came across the median.” Brady blinked and tears trickled from the corners of his eyes onto his temples. “The last thing I said to her was to stop being a goddamn child.”
Casey gently pulled Brady over to her as she laid back on the pillows, urging him closer. He rested his head against her breasts and she held him tightly, stroking his hair, trying to soothe him. She wasn’t sure what to say to him. What she could say to him. Nothing would take away his guilt or his pain.
“I just shut down after that,” Brady murmured. “Nobody mattered to me, and that was what I wanted.”
Casey wanted desperately to ask him how he felt about that now. Was she nothing more than a warm body to keep him company for a while? Had he just felt sorry for her predicament and tried to ease his guilt over Savannah by helping her?
She didn’t want to think about it.
For a moment, she almost said the words. She had never felt love for a man so keenly, so fiercely. What she had suspected in his world was only confirmed now. She wanted him to know how much comfort he had given her, how safe she felt in his arms and in his presence. She wanted to shake him until he understood that Savannah’s death was not his fault, and that even though she was dead, he didn’t have to bury himself, too.
But she couldn’t. There had been too many times in her life when she had told someone how she felt only to be laughed at or ignored. She had thought the part of her that could love someone must have atrophied. Brady had brought it back to life. Brought her back to life.
“Go to sleep,” she whispered, petting his hair in slow, languid strokes. She could feel his body relaxing against her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Better be,” he muttered, his breathing even and slow. Casey smiled faintly as he began to snore softly.
God help her, she even loved that.
The next morning, Casey bolted out of bed and ran for the bathroom. She barely made it.
After brushing her teeth and rinsing her mouth, she leaned against the sink for a few minutes, closing her eyes as she willed herself to breathe deeply and relax. The morning sickness was getting worse. Soon, there’d be no hiding it from anyone. Her breasts had begun to ache as well, feeling heavier than normal. Maybe some of it was psychosomatic, but Casey could swear that her stomach was rounder than it had been just a few days before. She gently rubbed her belly through the cotton of Brady’s t-shirt. Maybe it wasn’t rounder now, but soon.
“You okay?”
Brady stood in the doorway to the bathroom. He wore a pair of sweatpants, his arms crossed over his bare chest. He studied her with an intensity that unnerved her.
“I’m fine,” she said and shakily smiled. “I think it’s just food poisoning.”
“Mmm-hmm.” He held his hand out to her. “C’mere.”
Brady led her back to bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress and he sat beside her.
“I need to tell you something,” he said quietly.
“Okay.” Casey swallowed hard.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been...different...since we came back.” Brady turned her hand over in his, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “And I think I might know why.”
“Really?” Casey took a deep breath. Did he know? Was this the part where he dumped her? She fought to control her nerves, meeting his eyes calmly, betraying nothing.
“I think it might be because…” He smiled. “With everything that’s happened, we’ve never been on a real date.”
“A date?” Casey repeated, half-laughing in relief. “Yes. Right. A date.”
“I mean, I’m not complaining,” he said with a wink. “But I want to do this right.”
Casey nodded. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“So…” He bumped her shoulder with his. “Would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner this evening?”
“Depends.” She returned the shoulder bump. “Are we dining, or are we just eating?”
“Oh, dining, definitely.” He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “I’ll even wear a tie.”
“How can I say no to that?” Casey laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the nose. “It’s a date.”
23
Brady
Brady gave himself one more once-over while he waited for Casey to finish dressing. Running a hand through his hair, he then straightened his tie and adjusted his suit jacket. White shirt, black tie, black suit. Not exactly
cutting-edge fashion, but it did the job.
He wasn’t sure why the idea of taking Casey on an actual date was so important to him. Their relationship had skipped right over dating and into living together. He wanted her to feel like everything was progressing normally and not on fast-forward. He didn’t want her to feel as if she’d jumped in too quickly and regret anything in the future.
Because he regretted nothing. Not a single moment.
He was surprised that she’d asked about Savannah, even more surprised when he detected a hint of jealousy in her voice. Yes, he had loved Savannah, but she was gone. He was finally able to accept that now. His feelings for Casey had become overwhelming, far greater than what he’d shared with Savannah. Casey had helped him see that.
Telling Casey about his feelings was a whole different story. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just say the words. He knew he felt them. He knew she wanted to hear them. But every time he thought he would finally say it, he was slammed by the memory of Savannah dying in his arms. Talking to Casey about it had helped lessen its power, but he was still frozen by the fear that if the time came when he needed to protect her, he’d fail.
Maybe he’d be able to say it once the whole nightmare with Evan Wallace was really and truly over. Until then, all he could do was love her quietly, with his whole being. Maybe she would just know.
“Okay,” Jasmine said as she came out of the bedroom. “Are you ready?”
“As always,” Brady said with a grin.
“Casey! Come on out!”
Jasmine stepped aside and the bedroom door opened. Brady suddenly felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.
Casey stood awkwardly in four-inch heels, clutching a small purse in front of her stomach. She wore a black, off-the-shoulder dress that hugged her figure without looking too tight. Her caramel-colored hair was pulled back at the sides with silver combs, with the rest flowing down her back in soft waves. She wore more makeup than Brady had ever seen her wear and he assumed he had Jasmine to thank for that.
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