Turning her attention back to the job at hand, Evie glanced out the window. She had decided it was time to share a bit more about herself and her past with Luca. Evie wanted there to be nothing between them.
Sharing the last few secrets scared Evie, but the fear of losing Luca was greater. It was like ripping off the last part of the mask, but there was no alternative. They couldn’t last with secrets between them, she knew that. Evie just hoped that he understood why she hadn’t told him about the file she had earlier.
Turning from the sink with potatoes in hand, Evie let out a screech at seeing Luca standing right behind her. Just saving herself from dropping the potatoes, she placed her spare hand to her chest.
“Luca! You scared me. Make a noise or something when you move.”
“Sorry, sweetheart.” Luca bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek, smiling before turning away. A smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
An uneasy feeling started to creep into Evie. Something was off about him. First, Asher was acting strange and now Luca. It wasn’t in her head.
Before Luca could walk away, Evie placed her hand on his arm. Turning, she studied his face for a moment, searching for anything that would give her a clue to what was going on.
“Is everything okay, Luca?” Evie asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice.
There was a slight pause before Luca spoke. “Of course. I’ll set the table.”
Diversion. Luca was avoiding her. Why?
The next half-hour passed in silence. She gave several nervous glances Luca’s way, but words eluded her.
Don’t overthink this, Evie.
She was just being dumb. The whole Troy situation was probably just playing on his mind.
Finishing with dinner, she placed both plates of food on the table before sitting opposite Luca. Glancing up, Evie noticed that his eyes were on her. Evie felt watched. Squirming beneath his intense gaze, she diverted her eyes back to her food.
Clearing her voice, Evie gathered the courage to ask the question that had been playing on her mind. “How did the meeting go?”
Luca swallowed another bite of chicken. “Wyatt discovered some interesting information about the case we’ve been working on. It was a bit surprising.”
Nodding, Evie nibbled on her bottom lip, losing her appetite. “It must have been important information. You seem a bit off.”
Shrugging, Luca popped some more food into his mouth before answering. “It was one of those things where you knew there was missing information, but what you found wasn’t quite what you expected.”
Okay, that would explain the bad mood. “Do you know what you’ll do with the information?”
Placing his fork down, Luca nodded. “I’m going to try to dig deeper. Find out the exact details.”
Almost too scared to ask, Evie put her own fork down. “Why just you? What about the rest of the team?”
Luca’s gaze was intense. Most of the time Evie forgot just how deadly he was, but at this moment, he looked every bit of it. “I’m the closest to it.”
Hands becoming clammy, the bad feeling in Evie’s gut intensified. Was he talking about her? Had they discovered something she wasn’t telling them? If that was the case, why didn’t he just ask? Why all this wordplay?
Luca’s voice broke into Evie’s thoughts. “What did you get into while I was gone?”
Pushing her almost full plate aside, Evie gave up trying to eat the food.
Choosing her words carefully, she looked Luca straight in the eye. “Not much. Used my laptop a bit, prepped dinner.”
Something Evie couldn’t quite describe flashed through Luca’s eyes.
Taking another bite, Luca finally broke the eye contact. “I want there to be no secrets between us, Evie.”
Swallowing, she nodded. “Me too, Luca.”
“There are things I need to tell you. Things I haven’t shared that I need to if this thing between us is going to work.” If it was going to work? “I’ve wanted to tell you, but I wanted to build on us a bit first. I’m confident in us, Evie, but I’m going to ask you something that I have no right to ask. I’d like to know if you have secrets before I share mine.” Reconnecting his eyes with Evie, sweat beaded on her forehead.
He knew. Whether he knew about the file or that she lied about her name, she wasn’t sure, but he knew something, and he was giving her a chance to tell him first.
She wanted to tell him. She had planned to, but now that the time had come, it suddenly felt impossible. She would be naked. She would be placing all her trust in another soul. Did Luca really understand how hard that was for her?
Suddenly standing, Evie couldn’t remain where she was. Luca rose from his chair too. He was so large that he towered over her. She’d never felt intimidated by his size, but right then she did.
“I have secrets, Luca, but trust doesn’t come easily for me.” Trying to keep the tears at bay, Evie couldn’t let herself fall apart. She wanted to tell him. There was nothing she wanted more than to share the final parts of herself with him. But there was something blocking her. Something deep down screaming at her that if she let someone else in completely, she was leaving herself open to the past repeating itself.
“I know, but there are things I need to know, and I need to know them now.” Luca’s voice softened slightly. She saw part of the old Luca rather than the interrogator who had returned this afternoon. “Trust me, Evie.”
As she searched his eyes for an answer, her nerves almost swallowed her.
When she took a small step back, Luca remained where he was, but his eyes tracked her movement.
“I have no bad intentions toward you or the team.”
Luca cocked his head. “Then it doesn’t matter if I know who you really are.”
Evie’s heart stopped. “Who I really am?”
Silent, Luca’s eyes remained on her, intensely watching.
He knew who she really was. Did that mean he knew her name? The only person who had spoken it in recent years was Troy. She had associated that name with so much pain and ugliness. She couldn’t bear to hear it spoken from Luca.
“Wyatt found my real name.” Of course he did. From what Luca had told her, he could find anything no matter how deeply they were hidden.
Giving the slightest nod, Luca’s voice came out in almost a whisper as he said the name Evie tried to forget. “Evaline?”
At the sound of her full name spoken from Luca’s lips, Evie’s heartbeat tripled. It sounded off coming from him like he shouldn’t speak it after she’d heard it spoken so many times by Troy.
“Don’t call me that. No one’s called me that since…” She couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Since Troy.”
“It’s a constant reminder for me of who I was then. Of the life I led.” Evie took another step back. “He locked me in the house for the last year. Do you know that? I couldn’t get out. He would get into these moods where he just wanted to pick a fight, and I couldn’t escape. I was trapped. A prisoner. Do you know what that’s like? Hearing that name brings back everything. I can’t say it or hear it without feeling the pain of the past.”
“It’s okay, Evie.”
“I’m not her, Luca. I haven’t been her since I got away. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I can’t even think about her.” The tears trickled down her cheeks. “She was broken, and she missed the signs. She got her parents killed.”
Luca frowned. “No. Troy got them killed because he killed them.”
Evie remained silent as Luca took another step forward.
Why did he keep walking toward her?
Taking another big step back, she felt hunted. Crowded. There was no space in this damn room.
“Do you know what he’s capable of?” Luca asked the question that Evie knew he already had the answer to.
Of course she knew. It played in her nightmares. His impossible strength, his speed. Troy’s ability to hear her every movement. It had made the idea o
f escape hopeless.
Evie’s voice was quiet. So quiet she barely heard herself speak. “Yes.”
Luca’s expression didn’t change. “Do you know about the project he was part of?”
Evie paused. He knew that she knew about that? How? Shaking her head, Evie held her ground. “Only that it was called Project Arma. That soldiers who were part of the project had enhanced… abilities.”
Luca nodded, remaining where he stood. Then he indicated with his head to where the laptop sat. “What have you been doing on your laptop, Evie?”
So, he knew about that too. Had Wyatt just uncovered everything to the last minute detail about her? “I’m trying to open a document.”
Thinking he’d ask her what the file was, his next question came as a surprise. “How do you know how to open it?”
Crossing her arms, Evie shrugged. “I’m good at hacking.”
At the absence of any surprise on Luca’s face, Evie realized Wyatt must have found her college history too. “Where’d you get the file from?”
Thinking back to that day sent a shiver down Evie’s spine. “I stole it from Troy. Before I ran.”
Luca seemed closer, but that was impossible, wasn’t it? She hadn’t seen him move. “Why?”
This was the question. The one she didn’t want to answer because that really would leave her soul bare. Evie shrugged. “Because I wanted to.”
“That’s a lie, Evie. Tell me why you’re hacking that file.”
Turning around, Evie took a step away from him, only to find him standing right in front of her. The speed that Luca had just moved was like nothing she’d ever seen. It seemed impossible that he’d gotten around the table so fast. Wasn’t that what this was all about though that he was capable of the impossible.
Taking half a step back, her eyes darted around the room.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Evie, I just need to know.”
A tear dropped down Evie’s cheek. “Why do you need to know?”
About to move another step away, Luca’s hand shot out and grabbed onto hers. His fingers were gentle but firm. “Please, sweetheart. This is just you and me. You know you’re safe with me. I just need the truth.”
Evie’s voice raised. “I took it because I need to know, Luca. I need to know it’s not my fault.”
Luca cocked his head while his thumb stroked her wrist. “What’s not your fault?”
Choking on her tears, Evie almost laughed. “Everything. You want to know my biggest secret, Luca? The one I try to keep from everyone? I am completely broken. Shattered. Some days I feel like I can’t even breathe. It takes all my strength to just get out of bed most days. Since meeting you, I feel better, but still not whole. And it’s because of him. He did this. I was okay before. I hate him.”
Knowing she sounded hysterical, Evie couldn’t stop. This time she did shout. “I let myself become a victim to a monster, and because of that, I got my parents killed.” Evie’s heart broke at the sound of the words coming out of her mouth. Any time she said the words out loud, they became more real. “I risked my life to steal that file because I have to know that it’s not completely my fault because if it is, I can’t live with myself. I need confirmation that my parents aren’t dead because I was stupid because that would be too much. So, I took the extra time that I didn’t have to go into the office and take the USB from his desk before I ran. I’ve been madly trying to find a reason which doesn’t end in everything being my fault, and I am placing all my chips on it being in that file.”
There it was, Evie’s greatest secret of all was out in the open. Evie’s legs released as the sobs tore through her chest. Luca caught her easily in his arms and pulled her off her feet. Cradling Evie, Luca walked to the couch.
Sitting on Luca’s lap, Evie let the sobs consume her.
“I did it, Luca. I killed my parents. They were trying to save me, and he broke into their house and murdered them because of me.”
Placing his lips near her ear, Luca’s voice was gentle. “Shhh, it’s okay, sweetheart.”
Not being able to control the heartache that tore through her chest, Evie shook her head. “No. It hasn’t been okay for a long time, Luca.”
Luca held Evie as she broke.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
THE SOBS WRACKED Evie’s body. Luca wished he could take away her pain. Erase it from her past. He wanted to go back and save her from the monster that was Troy.
He settled for holding her and making a promise to himself that nothing like that would ever happen to her again. He would protect her.
Remorse ate at Luca. He regretted how he approached tonight, but the moment he heard she was trying to hack the Project Arma file, it was like history repeating itself. He’d trusted the wrong people before. Placed his trust in a system that saw him as a tool to use as they wished. Others on his team struggled with trust more than him, but Luca still found it hard to completely let go.
Never again. He would trust Evie. She was his to trust and protect now.
Noticing Evie had gone quiet, Luca looked down to see her staring at a blank spot on the wall.
“How did you get away, sweetheart?”
“He slipped one day. He never slipped. Maybe he thought he’d finally broken me and that I wouldn’t try to leave. When I left my room, I saw the keys. At first, I thought I was seeing things. Hallucinating maybe and seeing what I wanted to see. When my mind finally realized the keys were real, the fear inside of me was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I had to make a snap decision whether to attempt an escape and live with the consequences if I got caught or stay in the hell he’d built me and try to survive. I decided to leave. I grabbed a small bag and packed the essentials. Then used the keys to open the office door. I took the USB from the laptop, not even knowing if it had the information I wanted on it, then just ran. He must have been quite a distance from the house because even though he heard me and came after me, he never caught me. And he was fast, Luca. So much faster than me.” Glancing down at her hands, there was a slight tremble in them. Luca engulfed her hand in his own.
“I ran straight onto the highway. A truck hit me, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital bed. The driver must have slowed down quite a lot because I got away with only a concussion and some scrapes and bruises. I knew it wouldn’t be long until he found me there, so I grabbed my stuff and ran. It wasn’t hard. I’d learned how to push past injuries before.”
“You’re a damn strong woman, Evie. How did you survive with just the bag on your back?”
Evie shrugged. “I sold some of the things that I took. Stayed hidden for the first few weeks. I used public computers to create my background, never the same one twice. When I was confident enough, I moved to the first town that I planned to stay in and started working. It was tough, but at the same time, it felt like I’d gained a small part of myself back. A small chunk of freedom.”
Luca ground his teeth. She was running and hiding, and she considered that freedom? Troy didn’t deserve any mercy, and Luca sure as hell wouldn’t be granting him any when he found the asshole.
Stroking Evie’s arm again, Luca felt humbled that she’d shared her history with him. She’d trusted Luca, it was time for him to trust her.
“We didn’t know.” Evie glanced up at Luca, confused. “My team. We didn’t know about what Project Arma really was. Until after.”
Evie looked surprised but remained silent.
“We were SEALs. We did what we were told. So, when we got notice that we were required to participate in a covert project, that’s what we did.” Wiping a tear from her cheek, Luca continued, “The purpose of the project was to show improved recovery time through a series of injections and by participating in training and fitness programs tailored to our specific needs. Make us more efficient. We didn’t question it. Why would we? We just trusted the system and thought we were working for the good guys.”
“But you weren’t?”
Luca met Evie�
��s gaze, thinking back to all the signs that his team had missed. “Those running the project were offered money from people in high places to go rogue. The scientists, medical staff, even our commander were all on someone’s payroll, happy to sacrifice the lives of others so they could earn some extra money. We were the guinea pigs. These people wanted a drug created that could turn normal SEALs and soldiers into weapons. Make an army that would be unstoppable. We’re not sure exactly what the end goal was. We’re still working on it.”
Evie’s frown got deeper. “I’m really sorry, Luca.”
Luca glanced out the window. “We were actually the lucky ones. There were unknowing participants in the project who received earlier versions of the drug. Most didn’t survive.”
The familiar anger returned at what those men had gone through. The feel of Evie’s hand on his chest soothed some of the turmoil. “That’s terrible.”
“We were one of the last teams recruited. The drug was established by then. Tried and tested.”
“This probably makes me really selfish, but I’m glad you were part of it when they had a better version of the drug.” Evie looked down at his chest. “Do you think they made a drug that could change a man’s mental state? They must have had a plan on how to make their subjects compliant. Maybe that’s what they did to Troy?”
The desperation in Evie’s voice was clear to hear. She needed the validation that this wasn’t her fault. “I want to be honest, sweetheart. I don’t know. We all wonder every day how they planned to make us work for them after the drugs took effect. It’s possible they came up with a new drug to make soldiers more malleable. No matter what, we’re going to find out.”
The disappointment shone in Evie’s green eyes, although she tried to mask it.
“Okay.” Smoothing the wrinkles on Luca’s shirt, his skin warmed at her touch. “So, they didn’t find anything when they closed down the project and arrested everyone?”
The memory of how it ended caused anger to pulse through Luca’s veins. “No. The government found out about the project from an anonymous source. Unfortunately, we think that source might have also told the people working there because once the raid happened, most people on the payroll disappeared. They took almost all the evidence with them. The team is quietly working with the government to find every last person who was involved. They’re out there, we just need to locate them.”
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