"And the other man?" Holbrook asks. He's listening, but not giving any indication where he's leaning.
I gesture to Teddy. "He already explained it to you. He was taken as a child. He has no memory of his parents, or how he came to live with Damien. He's been violated and used in every way a person can be. My father tore him down until he was nothing more than a weapon to be wielded. Damien has police and other government officials on his payroll. Where was he going to turn for help?"
I think I see a glimmer of sympathy in his expression, but it's fleeting. "I assume there's a plan B. What are you going to do if I can't help you?"
My heart skips a beat, and picks back up in a stuttering rhythm. It hurts to breathe. "They are planning to turn themselves in to Governor Whitmore's task force."
He nods. "They won't find much help there. The governor has made a name for himself as being hard on crime. He can't be seen making deals with murderers if he wants to remain in office. He might be on the right side of the law, but he's equally as ruthless as Blackthorne."
"Then we'll run." I'd make them see this was the only path.
Holbrook shakes his head. "Your father has resources, men, and time. You might buy yourself some years, but they'll be spent looking over your shoulder. One day he will find you."
"So it's hopeless then," I say despondently.
He gathers the files, and puts them back in his bag. "Let me make some calls. I don't have the authority to offer immunity. I want to help, but I don't know if it will be approved. I'll call when I hear back."
Ted gets out of the booth and extends his hand to me. "Make them see it's the right call. You'll never get another chance like this to take him down."
31
Descent Into The Black
Sin
"I don't see a sign that anyone has been here," Lucien calls out from the top floor.
I double check Shane's security cameras. "There's nothing on the recordings either. Ford did a good job burying the deed to this property."
"Should we go get everyone and bring them back here?" Lucien asks.
"Ted already texted. He can bring them in his car."
"There are too many of them. I'll go and grab my sister and a few others so everyone has a seat. I can't imagine you want my sister sitting on Ford's lap to get here."
I reach for the keys I set on the desk. Already I'm anxious to be with Raven again. "I'll go."
He exhales. "No, you need to stay here and monitor the security systems and watch the trackers. Eventually you and I are going to have to talk about why you've been holding out on me. For now, it seems you're better qualified to maintain the security."
Reluctantly, I nod. Lucien is more than qualified to protect his sister. I toss him the keys and go back to watching the cams. The industrial park is as deserted as it was the first time Ford brought us here.
I'd have to ask him how he managed to hide his ownership of this location this well. It was a smart move. Even if an abusive spouse manages to learn Ford's name, they won't be able to track the location where he hides their wives.
The distance of the motel and the heaviness of the traffic leaves me enough time to run through every bad scenario that could happen to them. I'm not used to this constant fear. My entire life, up to now, I've been apathetic to my fate. When you have nothing to lose, it also means you have nothing to live for.
I can't say I could classify a single moment of my past as living, until I met Raven. The ground shook under my feet that night I saw her standing in the moonlight. Her angelic beauty pissed me off, because it was yet another thing I couldn't have.
The garage door in the back of the building creaks and groans as the aging mechanism pulls the door up. The two cars pull into the bay and car doors open and close. I force myself to remain seated.
It's only been a couple of hours since I was with her, but I'm feeling anxious to have her in my arms again. She'd really think I'm insane if I rush straight towards her with the intensity I'm feeling. I've been so back and forth, at least in how I've treated her, I'd surely only confuse her more.
What she doesn't realize is that I've been under her spell from the moment I first saw her. All of the fighting I've done to avoid her has been to protect her from me. Even still I can't help but believe she'd be so much better off with someone else. Someone who's past isn't bathed in blood. The thing is though, when a starving man is given what he needs to survive, he'll fight to hold on to it.
Raven is everything to me. I keep telling her this, but she isn't picking up on what that means to me. I don't know why I'm being stubborn about saying the actual word ‘love’ but it doesn't feel right to me. I'll say it if that's what she needs to hear, when I can give her more than a life on the run.
I don't have to wait long for her once she's out of the car. The sound of footsteps moving quickly sounds through the cavernous space. Almost as soon as I step away from the desk, Raven runs through the door and leaps into my arms.
Her hold on me is tight, and I can feel the desperation rolling off of her in waves. They crest over me, threatening to pull me under the weight of whatever is pressing on her.
"Are you okay?" I ask. Did something happen while I was gone? I never should have left her alone.
Ted strolls in the door, followed by Lucien. Once we are all in the office, he closes the door, shutting everyone else out.
"She's fine. We met with that agent I mentioned."
Lucien and I share a look before he steps forward. "You went behind our backs to speak to a federal agent about us?"
There's no remorse in Ted's expression. "The goal here is to protect Raven, right?"
Neither of us respond, so he continues. "How do you think she's going to fare if either of you, let alone both of you, turn yourselves in to protect her. Neither of you thought to ask her what she wanted when you decided this all alone. If you can make moves on your own, so can she."
"Well, did it work?" I ask. Something strange bubbles up inside of me. I imagine this foreign sensation is hope.
"We have to wait," Raven answers.
Ted nods. "Agent Holbrook needs to go up the chain to get approval for what we discussed. I'm expecting his call. If he gets the green light I'll tell him to come here."
It doesn't take long for him to call. Apparently, the chance to bring down one of the largest crime lords in the United States is too enticing for the FBI to pass up. Ted gives the agent our location and we wait some more for him to arrive.
We order a pizza and wait some more. There's a malaise amongst the group. The usual playful banter is muted. After a while everyone is lost in their heads. The life they've all put on hold, for their safety and ours, is weighing on them.
Guilt. It's another foreign emotion, and one I'm not equipped for. Ford could lose his scholarship, Jen will fail her nursing program, and Shane's family is going to wonder where he is. Amber's too, for that matter.
If this doesn't work, I'm going to have to follow through with turning myself in. They shouldn't lose the lives they've built to protect me. I know they'll all protect Raven. If I have to be apart from her to keep her safe so be it. This is what I mean when I say she's my everything.
One of the alarms Shane set up signals a vehicle pulled into the industrial park. He's set them up all over the block to give us time to evacuate if we need to. I pull up the camera, and Ted identifies the driver as the agent we're expecting.
He goes to the door to greet our visitor. I hang back, but hear Ted ask, "Did you get approval for the deal?"
"Yes, it didn't take long either. I thought it would be days of convincing the justice department this was a good deal. Apparently, a few dead bad guys didn't outweigh the potential gain to bring down Damien Blackthorne."
"In that case, follow me to the office so you can meet Lucien and Sin." Ted's footsteps grow closer as he leads the officer to my location.
"Sin?" the agent asks on the way.
"It's part of the story," Ted replies.
They stop in the doorway. "Shouldn't we grab Lucien?" I ask.
"I texted him already. He's coming downstairs now. He was just getting out of the shower," Ted informs me.
A couple minutes later and Lucien strolls through the office, droplets of water clinging to the same black hair his sister has. Speaking of Raven, she follows him in shortly after and closes the five of us inside the small office.
He said there was a deal to offer, but my anxiety has spiked regardless. I've never been this vulnerable before. Now that I've got everything I want within reach I'm terrified of losing it.
"Raven," I call out to her, and motion for her to come next to me. She doesn't hesitate to move next to me, and I pull her to sit on my lap.
Agent Holbrook doesn't waste time. "I can offer you full immunity, and protection if necessary, in exchange for any evidence you can provide and your testimony."
"What if you aren't able to convict him, no matter what we turn over?" Lucien asks.
"The deal remains either way. As long as you are honest and turn over everything you know, you won't be prosecuted for your crimes."
Lucien, Ted, and I exchange a look. "What about any events that occur where we need to protect ourselves?" Lucien presses.
"Those will be covered too," the agent agrees too quickly.
"There might be a few more people you will need to include in the agreement in that case," Ted inserts.
"Was it really self defense?" Agent Holbrook asks.
"I swear to it. We learned of an ambush and set one for ourselves. Men died, but they were there to kill us," Ted replies.
Holbrook takes one of the chairs near the desk. "I'm assuming we're talking about the warehouse fires a few nights ago."
Ted nods.
"Considering the dental records confirmed the identity of the men to those in some of the photos I shared with you and Raven earlier today, I think we can include this in the deal."
Ted takes a seat, seemingly confident with the honesty of Holbrook. He kicks out a chair for Lucien. "Sit, I'm vouching for him. If you don't trust him, trust me."
Lucien relents and moves away from the door. "Okay, you've got questions. Ask away."
"Ted introduced you as Sin. What is your actual name?" he asks me.
I shrug. "I'm not sure. I've always been called Sin. I overheard someone call me Jackson Sinclair when I was first brought to Devil's Crossing, but I can't be sure if that's actually my name."
"How old were you when you were brought to Blackthorne?"
"I think around three or four. Maybe even two. I really don't know. I was told the year I was born, 1999, but I don't know if that's accurate either."
"I need to hear the entire story. How did you end up being trained to be one of Blackthorne's assassins?"
My arms tighten around Raven. It's been years, but the stain of the things done to me have never washed away. "I didn't start out as an assassin."
I almost choke trying to form the words. "I started out as a whore."
Raven stiffens in my lap, and turns to face me. Her hands thread through my hair, and she presses her forehead against mine. She anchors me, reminding me I don't ever have to be that person again. Someone who is passed around and used for the pleasure of others. Someone who is sent to bring death.
"Men, women, it didn't matter. I watched money exchange hands, and I was left with the worst humanity has to offer."
Agent Holbrook has a white knuckle grip on his chair. "You were raped?"
"Repeatedly," the word feels like fire. I clear my throat. "Eventually, I grew up. I guess an adult man wasn't as appealing. Not to mention I've been training since I was a child to kill. There are some men who are still sold for sex even into adulthood, but I guess I was too valuable for my other skillset to waste on prostituting out."
"And that other skill set?"
"I can kill without evidence. It isn't a choice I've ever made on my own, but I can do it and not regret it," I admit.
"How?"
Lucien leans forward with his elbow on his knees, studying the agent. "That would be where I come into the story. I trained alongside Sin since we were kids. We weren't sent out on any missions alone until a few years ago. I tried to turn it down for both of us, but my father told me if we didn't go that Sin was no longer useful. He'd kill him as easily as he would throw out trash."
I nod. "I tried to refuse at first. I was beaten by several men. My ribs were broken, I had a concussion, and I think I almost died based on how frequently I passed out. For some reason I wanted to live, despite how bleak my life had been."
"When I saw him, bleeding and struggling for every breath, I begged my father to let me take care of him. I agreed to do as we were asked, but managed to get a few concessions of my own. We'd take out targets, but I demanded that we only were sent after criminals. I was given irrefutable evidence. Pedophiles, murderers, family abusers, those sort of people. Sin took them out, and I would wipe all traces of my father from their lives," Lucien continues the story I began.
We continue to detail the entire sordid story, providing names, dates, and all other evidence Lucien has stored on a thumb drive. The entire process becomes tedious as he asks questions and has us go back over everything from a dozen different angles.
Once he's exhausted all his questions he stands to leave.
"What do we do in the meantime?" Ted asks.
"We are going to start making a case. I want to vet any agents assigned to make sure they aren't compromised before I give you a protective detail. Until I heard the story I thought I'd be able to have some agents here tonight, but I don't want to put you at risk by putting the wrong agent on your detail."
Ted shows him out, and the moment he's gone Lucien kicks a chair. "Are we any better off now than we were before?"
"There's a chance he'll go down," Raven says.
Lucien gives her a scathing look. "He'll get out of it. He always does. No, we put a bigger target on our backs than before."
"The renewed scrutiny should mean that the others can resume their lives. I'm pretty sure Damien will know where we are, and that there are less conspicuous means to ferret us out. They'll have to be extra cautious, but at least they can go back to school," I answer. My voice is flat. Sharing what I had to has taken something from me I didn't know I had left.
I'm spinning and I don't know how to stop it.
Raven climbs off my lap. "Come with me," she whispers.
I take her hand and follow her out of the room. I barely feel her skin against mine. I'm not sure even Raven can pull me out of this darkness.
32
Public Display of Affection
Sin
The entire time Holbrook questioned us, I sank deeper and deeper inside of myself. It wasn't just the act of reliving the worst moments of my life, but knowing Raven heard every word. What must she think of me now? To know that I was once nothing more than a thing, a toy for others to use as they saw fit.
She begins to shake, and I'm not sure if it's out of concern for me, or disgust. I'm afraid to find out, so I say nothing. Numbness settles over me, much like it had when I was a child, and I do nothing more than exist. Breathe in and out, repeat until the pain starts to wane.
"Come with me," she whispers, and I follow her up the stairs.
We enter the room we've claimed as ours, and she shuts the door behind us. I don't react. Any minute she's going to tell me she can't be with me, and I don't want to hasten that moment. She's forgiven me for all of my fucked up behaviors, but that was before she knew how damaged I am.
She drops to her knees, and I exhale.
"I understand now. Your need for control," she whispers.
I pet her hair. Just a small reminder she's still here, and not running the opposite direction from me. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not doing anything. I'm here. Whatever you want to happen is what comes next."
The corner of my mouth curves up ever so slightly. "Whatever I want?
Are you sure you want to give me that kind of power? I'm not in a good frame of mind."
Loud footsteps sound up the stairs. "We're heading out," Ford calls.
I leave Raven kneeling on the floor. Anticipation is half of what I've got planned for us tonight, and this new turn of events is giving me more ideas.
"Is everyone leaving?" I ask him.
"Lucien is going to go with us for a while and help make sure everything is safe. He still doesn't think the three of you should return to your apartment, but we're going to get Jess settled into ours and get ready to head back to school tomorrow."
"So we have the entire building to ourselves?" My question reveals my intent, and he smirks at me.
"Enjoy. I'll be coming back later. We all agreed that there should be a few of us who can handle a weapon at both locations until this is resolved. Apparently, Lucien is uncomfortable hanging around here while you are, and I quote, 'screwing his sister'."
I roll my eyes. "In other words he wants to play with Amber and Ted."
Ford shudders. "Please don't put those images in my head."
"At least they're only mental images for you. I've had a first hand preview of Lucien's proclivities."
A door opens and shuts below. "That's my cue. I'll be back later. Try and remember that."
Once it's quiet downstairs I grab Raven's elbow and lift her to her feet.
"Where are we going?" she asks.
"Downstairs." With my hold on her elbow I practically drag her down the stairs.
I leave her in the middle of the room while I search for the items I need. When we brought Jess here I went out and purchased a few things we didn't end up using. Leather cuffs to bind her wrists, and I made a few other purchases on the off chance Raven ever wanted to really play with me. I left everything in a backpack on a shelf in the office.
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