by K. C. Crowne
“I’m doing my best, but I don’t think I’m cut out to be in the spotlight, to be honest,” I admitted. “I feel like such an idiot when they shove all those cameras in my face and ask me question after question.”
“You’ll get used to it with time, and like I said, they’re going to lose interest at some point. We’re going to get through this, and we’re going to be fine,” Nick assured me. “You’ve just got to stick it out in the meantime.”
I smiled, and he put his arm around my shoulders as we headed for his office. I wasn’t planning on staying. I had a lot to get done in my own day. Besides that, I didn’t want to get caught up in more rumors. There were already some other workers at the office who were clearly jealous of what he and I had with each other, and I didn’t want to make that any worse. If it were a real marriage, I wouldn’t care, but I didn’t want to have to deal with any office drama when the whole thing came to an end.
There was a part of me that wondered if I was cut out for what I’d gotten myself in to, and I felt overwhelmed. I was scared I was going to do something to screw it all up.
Then there was a part of me that was amazed so many people in the world would be so interested in me and what I was doing. I was becoming something of a celebrity myself, just for the connection I had to Nick. It was a feeling that came crashing down on me in waves, and I hardly knew what to do with myself.
“Tell you what,” Nick said with a smile as we walked into his office. “I want you to forget about all the reporters and their hounding questions for today, and just focus on getting that branding project you have done. You love working on that, and you can spend the day with Jean and Angela.”
I smiled. I did like working with the two of them. Though Cassie would still be my best friend forever, I was making good friendships with both of them as well.
“Alright,” I said. “We’re close to being able to launch it, and with any luck, that’ll happen before the wedding.”
“Excellent. The investors seem happy enough with how things are going for us here, so I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about them much anymore. Of course, we’re going to have to keep up the act for now, but I’m not thinking they are going to be as in our faces as they once were,” Nick said.
“That’s a relief for me at least,” I said. “I didn’t like having to deal with them that one day, and I wasn’t thrilled when they said they were going to continue to keep an eye on what we were doing.”
“They’ll watch from afar, I’m sure,” Nick said with a sigh. “Like always, but we aren’t going to give them any reason to be back in here.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” I told him with a sigh. “Anyway, I’m going to get to work. I want to get those reporters out of my mind, and the best way to do that is to get lost in my creative process.”
“Atta girl,” he said with a wink. “If you need anything at all, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks,” I said as I walked out of his office. I pulled the door closed behind me and started up the hall toward my own office. The building was already alive with my colleagues, and many of them seemed rather annoyed with what was going on outside.
But I thought about what Nick said, and I felt better. He was in this with me, and he was doing an excellent job of making sure I didn’t feel alone. He knew that this was hard for me, and he was clearly doing his best to make it as easy on me as possible. After all, I was the one doing him a favor.
For a brief moment, I wondered what it would be like if I gave him a real chance, and we did try to make this work. He was right, my parents were disappointed by the fact that the engagement wasn’t real, and I didn’t think David would care for very long if Nick and I were to become an actual couple.
But I also had to remember that Nick didn’t have the capability of real love. He had said so long ago when he left Phoenix. He was heartbroken over what happened to his mother, and he blamed himself for it. It didn’t help matters that his father blamed him in a way, too. He’d never really had a good role model for a healthy relationship, outside of my parents and had never expressed an interest in figuring it out for himself.
He had no relationship with his family, and he didn’t want to have that sort of commitment. I couldn’t let myself fall for him, no matter how tempting it might be. I had to take care of myself in this, and that meant I had to be careful of how I let my heart think about the situation.
There were times when I thought Nick might really have feelings for me, but there were other times I knew that it was just him being flirty, caught up in the moment. He was just that way. He always had been, and as far as I knew, he always would be.
When I got another look from a woman on my way to my office, I tried to smile. I didn’t want her day to be stressful on my account, and I knew she was angry with the fact she had to deal with this whole new dynamic to the workday because of the fact I was engaged to the boss. Like everyone else, she clearly wasn’t happy with the attention that was being showered down on our company.
They had to deal with the crowd as they also tried to get in the building, but they weren’t hounded with questions, so I didn’t feel too sorry for them. I was the one who had my life ripped open in front of the world.
“I was wondering how you suddenly got the job,” she said to me as I passed. “Now it all makes sense.”
“Excuse me?” I asked in surprise.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said. She didn’t wait for me to reply to her snide remark, and instead headed into her own area. I was dumbfounded, and I wanted to tell her to fuck off.
She had no idea what was going on, and she didn’t have to deal with nearly the same shit I was. But then, I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way, either. The situation had to look shady to the others in the office, and they had to think that I was sleeping my way to the top.
It couldn’t be further from the truth, but it bothered me that they might consider it to be a possibility. It bothered me, even more, to think that someone might leak information – whether true or not – out to the public. I didn’t want to be the one who ended up on the front of a tabloid.
I was doing this to help Nick, and I now realized to do that safely in my own world, I was going to have to try harder than ever to keep our relationship professional at work. We were going to act like an employer and an employee, and that was that.
We could do what we wanted when we weren’t there, but I wasn’t going to be the butt of the office gossip or the jokes that floated around. I was going to hold my head up high and prove to not only the reporters and my colleagues, but also to the investors and even myself I would come through it unscathed. I was hired for my skill in the office, not the bedroom, and I would make sure they all knew it.
I didn’t know how long the whole thing was going to last, but I knew I was going to handle it like a boss no matter what. I had to. I was now in the public’s eye and the name in everyone’s mouths.
If it was going to end ideally for me, I was going to have to handle everything that came my way with elegance and confidence.
My own reputation might depend on it.
Chapter 14
Nick
Hey, can you come to the office for a minute? I need to talk to you
I’d found it was a lot easier to text Liz and let her come to me when she had the chance than to try to get to her in the crowded office. I didn’t have the time to deal with the questions I was being bombarded with from all my other employees.
We’d already talked to David about keeping the truth about our situation quiet, so no one at the office really knew that the engagement was fake. They, like the reporters, were determined to find out who Liz was, and what she was suddenly doing there.
I’ll be there in just a second, finishing up an email.
I waited. Liz was good about coming to see what I wanted quickly, and I didn’t mind having a few extra minutes to think about how I was going to tell her what I want
ed to say. It had taken a few days, but the reporters were finally giving us our space.
That was a relief for me for many reasons, but there was also a problem with it, too. As long as the reporters were there, we had the spotlight shining on us. I knew Liz didn’t love that fact, but I could convince her it was okay and just to stick it out.
I didn’t tell her that I thought it was because of the reporters we didn’t have to deal with the investors. The last thing I wanted was for her to get tired of all of the scrutiny and pull back, and I worried that it was going to happen. I needed her if I was going to keep the investors I had, and I needed their money.
Right now, my end game was to make sure I had the funds to keep growing the company. The rest could fall into place as it did.
There was a light knock on the door right before it opened, and Liz poked her head inside.
“You wanted to talk?” she asked.
“Yes, come in, and will you close that behind you?” I asked.
She obeyed, coming into the office and taking a seat in one of the chairs.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“I was going to talk to you about the fact that we need to be seen out more,” I said rather bluntly.
“The whole world has seen us,” she said with a laugh. I could tell she thought I was joking, but I wasn’t. She had to understand that we had to stay public, and though it wasn’t what she wanted exactly, I had to keep it up.
“The reporters haven’t been here for a couple of days, and I’m afraid the public is going to move on from us a little too soon,” I told her.
“I thought that’s what we wanted,” she said with a sigh. “I was just getting used to the peace and quiet again.”
“I’m not saying that it’s going to be hectic,” I told her. “I’m just saying that I think you and I need to go out more, and you know, be seen. I don’t want anyone to forget that we’re engaged if you know what I mean.”
She nodded. She knew how important this was to me, and if we were going to be seen as the new ‘it’ couple, we were going to have to act as such. “So, what are you thinking?”
“We’ll go to dinner, the movie, Broadway. We’ll show some level of PDA for the paparazzi to enjoy, then behind closed doors, we can do what we’ve always done,” I told her with a shrug. “It’s not going to be anything too bad, just enough to keep the world watching and wondering what’s going to happen next.”
“I can do that,” she said with a nod.
“It’s only going to be for a while,” I reminded her. “Just stick with me on this, and we’re going to be fine. I’m sure once we get through the wedding, we’re not going to have to worry about it. Besides the fact, the investors are going to be keeping an eye on the media.”
“I’m looking forward to getting to that point, I’m not going to lie,” she said. “It’s a lot harder than I thought.”
“What is? Being engaged to me or being famous?” I asked with a laugh.
“A little of both if you ask me,” she said, finally breaking a real smile.
“I bet before we’re done with this; it’s going to grow on you.”
“What is?” she asked. “Being engaged to you or being famous?”
“A little of both,” I winked. I was going to tell her that was all I needed when there was a knock on the door and David appeared.
“Oh, sorry, I thought you were alone in here,” he said.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said with a smile. Liz rose from her chair.
“I better get back to work,” she said. “See you at home David.”
“Later,” David replied over his shoulder as his sister left. He pulled the door closed and walked over to me, crossing his arms and giving me a hard look.
“What? I feel like I’m in trouble for something,” I said with a laugh.
“I’m not sure how to say what I want to say,” he replied.
“Am I in trouble for something?” I asked simply.
He shook his head.
“No, quite the opposite, in fact, and I need your advice,” he told me.
I settled in. I was used to David coming to me for advice. I went to him all the time to ask what he thought about this or that, so of course he’d come to me with the same.
“It’s Candice,” he said at last.
“What about her?” I asked. My gut reaction was that he wanted to break up with her and didn’t know how since they worked together, but then, he still spent all his time with her from what I understood, so I didn’t think that was too likely.
“I want things to get more serious,” he said. “But I’m not sure how to talk to her about it.”
“Wow. You must really be into her if you’re moving this fast,” I said. The words were out of my mouth before I really thought about them, and I hoped he wouldn’t get offended. It was true, he was moving really fast. They had only been seeing each other for just over a month, and he was already talking about them getting more serious.
“She’s cool. Really cool,” he said. He sighed and walked back and forth in the room. “I think she might be the one.”
“Damn,” I said. I hadn’t realized he felt that strongly for her, and I was shocked to know he would be thinking about marriage already. Perhaps it had something to do with the fake marriage I was dealing with his sister, or perhaps he really did think of her as someone special.
“Are you sure you’re thinking about this carefully. I thought you weren’t the marrying type,” I asked him. “At least, that’s what you always used to say.”
“I didn’t think I would be,” he admitted. “But the more I get to know her, the more I think she really is something incredible. I can’t imagine a life without her, and I wonder why I should wait if she really is that special to me, you know? I mean, life is short, and we’re already thirty. I don’t want to waste any of the time I could be spending with her.”
I laughed. “You already spend all your time together, so my advice to you would be to take it slow. There’s no need to rush into anything that official if the two of you are happy, you know?”
He thought for a moment. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer he thought he would get, but he didn’t disagree with it, either. He had a serious look on his face for a moment; then he lightened up as he looked at me once more. “Where did you hear that bit of advice?”
I grinned. I certainly wasn’t one to come to for relationship advice. He would know that. But then, I had heard stranger problems coming from him before, and God knew he had heard them coming from me, too.
“I saw it on a movie once, and it worked out for that couple. I figured it might not be a bad idea,” I crossed my arms behind my head and leaned back in the chair, looking at him like I knew the answer to all the world’s problems. He laughed again and shook his head.
“Doesn’t sound like the kind of movie I would expect you to watch,” he said.
“It was some stupid chick flick a girl I was briefly dating wanted to see, and since I was trying to impress her, I went, too,” I said. “I guess you can say that I got something good out of that night.”
“Yeah, good advice to give to your buddy who’s losing his head over a girl,” David said.
“You should talk to your sister about it,” I told him. “She’s probably got some pretty good ideas on what you should do. I mean, you could get a good female perspective on the whole thing.”
“I’m going to when we get home, but I didn’t want to bring this to her when we were working,” he said. “But thanks for your words of wisdom, oh wise one.”
“Get out of here,” I laughed. “Don’t you have shit you need to be doing?”
“Nearly done for the day, actually,” he said with a shrug. “It’s easy when we’re so streamlined.”
“That’s what I like to hear, now I don’t have to pay you for overtime,” I said.
He smirked. “I’m on salary, dickhead.”
“Then I don’t have to deal with your bullshit,”
I said with a shrug. He shook his head and grinned, joking with me for another minute before he left. When I was alone, I thought about what he had said. It still shocked me to think of him as a married man.
I had my moments when I thought I could have a real future Liz, but there were many times when I realized I was just getting caught up in the heat of passion, or what could be. I didn’t think I’d ever settle down with anyone, not even her.
Now, alone with my thoughts, I let myself truly consider how I felt about her. Was it possible that I was just deluding myself? That I was so stuck in my old way of thinking that I wasn’t willing to consider that it was wrong? Was I really just a fool to think that I could pretend with Liz and it wouldn’t turn real at some point?
I wished the answer was black and white in my brain, but the fact of the matter was that I couldn’t make up my mind on how I felt about her. Not deep down inside, anyway. Sure, I loved her in my way, and I thought she was hot as hell, but when it came down to it, I didn’t know if I could commit to her for life.
My mind was so cluttered; I didn’t know what to think.
But I still couldn’t help but wonder - what if I could fall in love with Liz?
What if I already had?
Chapter 15
Liz
No, I already told you I’m going out with Cassie tonight. We’re going to have to reschedule or something – you knew about this already!
I hit send, but the answer came back rapidly, and I sighed.
I told you on Thursday that we need to be out together, and now you’re ditching me to hang out with Cassie!
I typed out a response, then I erased it and tried again. I didn’t want to fight with Nick, but at the same time, I didn’t want to go out with him tonight. We had been spending a lot of time together, and tonight, I just needed some space. It wasn’t as though I was going to be doing anything too exciting.