by K. C. Crowne
“Alright, I get it. Your parents will cut you off financially if they find out the truth,” I said, taking a deep breath and steadying myself. “How much do you need to stop these lies now?”
“Colin, I--”
“Just give me an amount. I’ll gladly pay you off to stop talking about me,” I said. “And to make sure your child at least has a roof over its head.”
The kid may not be mine, but the idea of her child suffering - of any child suffering - killed me. In a perfect world, Whitney would consider putting the child up for adoption. It was clear that not much had changed for her. She was still a selfish, inconsiderate bitch.
Whitney’s tears stopped falling. She stared at me for a long time before answering my question.
“I’d like $5000 a month,” she said. “For the next eighteen years. Raising a child isn’t cheap, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. Maybe you should have thought about that before getting knocked up by a stranger,” I said. I countered. “$2000 a month for the first year of the child’s life. After that, I expect you to have figured something out.”
“Colin, $2000 isn’t anything here in Los Angeles, and you know it.”
“Well, maybe you should consider moving somewhere cheaper. I hear Nevada is reasonable.”
“I can’t do that,” she said.
“Why is any of this my problem, Whitney?” I said. “It’s not. I didn’t get you pregnant. Take my offer or leave it, I don’t care. As soon as the baby is born, I’m going to get a court-ordered DNA test to prove the child isn’t mine, and then what will your parents say?”
Her jaw dropped. She stared at me with a look of absolute betrayal. The bitch had the nerve to feel betrayed after everything I’d done for her, after she’d lied and cheated on me for years. If I ever had any doubt that Whitney was a monster, there was my answer.
“Could you at least cover my rent for a two-bedroom apartment?” she asked.
“How much is that?”
“2600 a month,” she said.
It pained me to agree to anything, but again, it wasn’t about her. It was about the child. Had she been a better person, she might have put the kid up for adoption. The child deserved better than her as a mother.
“Fine,” I said. “But only for the first year. Nothing more.”
“Colin, please.”
“No, Whitney. That’s final. Take it or leave it.”
She looked defeated, but finally nodded. “I’ll take it.”
“Good,” I said, standing up from the bench. “But I refuse to pay a dime until you take back everything you’ve said about me, and fast.”
“That might take a while. I’ve told a lot of people,” she said.
“Well, you better get to working then,” I said. “Not like you have much else to do, am I right?”
I started to walk away, but something compelled me to stop. I turned and looked at the woman I used to think was my everything. She stared back at me with a newfound hope in her eyes, as if maybe I changed my mind and would give her everything she wanted.
“Please tell me you’re clean. No more drugs or alcohol while you’re pregnant?” I asked.
“I’m clean,” she said.
I didn’t believe her.
“New condition, mandatory drug tests or else I won’t pay a dime,” I said. “And that goes for after the baby is born too.”
I didn’t give her a chance to respond. Those were my terms, and if she didn’t like them, tough. Sure, she could have ruined my name for a few more months, but eventually the truth would come out, and she’d be in even worse shape. Her parents would disown her, she’d get no money from them, and people would realize what a monster she was. Sure, it would cost me, but it was worth it in the end.
I could sleep at night knowing that I helped her child. This had very little to do with Whitney, after all, but the poor, helpless child she was bringing into the world.
Ooo000ooo
I was beginning to run out of options. Hope wasn’t answering my calls, and I needed to speak with her. I had found her phone number during a simple Google search, but her address was private. I had access to her file, however, and could look it up, but that felt wrong to me.
Still, weeks had gone by and I’d heard nothing. She was carrying my child, I was pretty positive of that, and not returning my calls. I needed to get to the bottom of things, so I did something I never thought I’d do; I used a patient’s file to track them down. For personal reasons. It went against everything I stood for, but she’d given me no choice.
I was worried about her, and I was worried about my baby.
After work, I waited outside her apartment complex. At least it was in a fairly decent neighborhood. Nothing too fancy, but it wasn’t run-down. I was relieved to see she was doing okay, at least. I gripped the steering wheel, unsure if I was doing the right thing or not. It felt like stalking to me, and it was wrong. Or was it? Did it matter that my motives were at least good ones? I wasn’t sure, but my desire for the truth motivated me to get out of my car and walk up to the door of her complex. Of course it required a code to enter.
I knew her apartment number, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I rang the buzzer. I took a deep breath and waited for her to get on the intercom, to ask who was down there and then ignore me. I mean, that’s what I’d expect after weeks of her ignoring my calls, but something else happened instead.
Instead of anyone speaking to me, the doors opened automatically. Someone upstairs had unlocked them for me. Had Hope seen me out here and agreed to let me up to her place? It would seem so.
I took the steps to the second floor, I had no patience to wait for the elevator. I took them two at a time until I reached her floor. I walked down the hallway until I came to her apartment.
There was music playing inside. And laughter. Laughter? Yes, a lot of laughter. I was confused for a moment, but then the door swung open and a petite brunette with a pixie-cut stared back at me, startled.
“Uh, hello?” she said. “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Hope,” I said. “Is she here?”
“Not yet,” the woman said, giving me a once over. “And who are you?”
“Colin,” I said.
The woman’s eyes went wide, and her smile vanished. She looked behind her, and for a moment, I thought she might slam the door in my face. But she didn’t, and for that I was thankful.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. She stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. The laughter from inside continued.
“I’ve been trying to reach her for some time, and she’s not taking my calls.”
The woman crossed her arms in front of her chest and pursed her lips. “Well, can you blame her?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
She unclasped her hands from in front of her and stuck a finger into my chest. “We know all about you, Colin Pierce, and I will not have you ruining my best friend’s surprise baby shower with your presence.”
A small voice piped up from down the hall. “Surprise baby shower?”
We both turned and found Hope standing there. Her sundress hugged her belly, showing off a rather large bump. She looked tired, but absolutely beautiful, even more so with the baby bump.
“Hope! You’re early,” the woman said. She snapped at me. “Thanks a lot for ruining the surprise.”
“I didn’t-- I mean,” I said.
“Anna, it’s alright,” Hope said softly. She refused to look at me, instead speaking to Anna like I wasn’t even there in the hallway. “You know you’re not very good at planning surprises, right? The Facebook invite was public, I saw and just didn’t want to say anything.”
Anna stared at Hope, shock on her face. Then the two women burst into a giggling fit. All while I was standing there, unsure of what to do or say, and staring at the woman carrying my child. After the two of them stopped laughing, Anna shot me another hateful look.
&
nbsp; “Want me to call security?” she asked Hope.
“No, it’s fine,” Hope said, finally turning her aqua eyes toward me. “Just give us a second, alright?”
“Sure thing,” Anna said. When she walked past me, she scowled at me, as if giving me a warning. She went inside and shut the door behind her, leaving Hope and me alone in the hallway.
“Sorry about her,” Hope said, looking away again. She stared at her hands which were resting on her belly.
“She’s fierce,” I said. “Remind me never to piss her off.”
“Yeah, she’s very protective of me,” Hope said, again speaker softer than usual.
“Good. I’m glad someone is,” I said.
That caused her to look up at me, her eyes sparkling like they had in Paris. My knees felt weak, and it was hard not to close the distance and kiss her the way I’d dreamt of for so long now.
“What are you doing here, Colin?” she asked.
“I’ve tried calling, you won’t answer me,” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “What else could I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I know that the baby is mine, Hope,” I said.
The look on her face was answer enough for me. She started to open her mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, tears welled up in her eyes and fell down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Colin. I freaked out when I saw you at the clinic, I never expected to see you again. I got scared, and I lied, and it was wrong.”
I moved toward her, and every ounce of anger I’d had toward her was gone. Just like that. I saw the pain in her eyes, saw that she hadn’t meant to deceive me. She was scared and alone, and she had no idea she’d ever see me again.
“I forgive you,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.
“You do? That easily?” she said, pulling back just enough to look me in the eye. “And you’re okay with the fact I’m having your baby?”
“Initially, it scared me a little too,” I admitted. “But I’ve had a few weeks to get used to the idea.”
She cleared her throat. “Well good, because I’m actually having twins.”
She smiled up at me, and I couldn’t help it. I kissed her sweet lips for the first time since we’d split in Paris, and it was everything I remembered it to be. She kissed me back, her mouth opening to me, welcoming me inside.
But then, as fast as it all happened, it stopped.
She pulled away, stepping back from me.
“I know about Whitney,” she said. “I know you don’t want to be a father, and I’m okay with that.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“I read Whitney’s post, about how you treated her,” she said, biting her lip. “I don’t need drama in my life, and yes, I plan on keeping the baby so don’t even think to suggest otherwise.”
“Hope, please, I can explain what happened with Whitney, this is very, very different,” I said.
“How so?” she asked. “We’re both pregnant with your children, and with her, you had a relationship that spanned years. I’m just-- well, I was just a fling.”
“You’re more than just a fling to me, Hope,” I said, hoping she could see the sincerity in my eyes. “And Whitney is lying. The child isn’t mine. It can’t possibly be mine, and she knows it.”
“Why would she do that?” Hope asked.
“Because she’s trying to manipulate me into getting back together with her, but I don’t want that. I want you.”
“You want-- wait, you know what you’re saying, right? We hardly know each other.” she said.
“Yeah? So? We have time to get to know each other now, and even if it doesn’t work out, I want you to know that I will always be there for my children. I will take care of both of you, Hope.”
I was afraid. It was scary discovering you’re about to be a father when you weren’t even sure you were ready for commitment. Could I be the man Hope - and our children - needed me to be? Only time would tell, but I was determined to be the best father I could be.
Nothing would get in the way of that.
“Wow, I don’t even know what to say,” Hope said. ‘There’s just so many emotions right now, but I think I’d like you being there for our babies, Colin. I’d like that a lot.”
“Good,” I said, staring deep into her eyes. “You don’t have to do this alone, I promise.”
We kissed one more time, and I told her to enjoy her baby shower. She’d invited me in, but I didn’t want to intrude on her girl time. I left with a promise of seeing her again soon, and she swore to me she’d not avoid my calls.
Already, things were looking up.
Hope
“I’m so happy for you, Hope,” Anna said, hugging me for the umpteenth time since Colin had left. The baby shower had been a blast, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Colin and what our future might look like.
While our friends played games, I saw there, in a daze. I was smiling like an idiot, I knew that much, because I was truly happy. For the first time since finding about the pregnancy, I was relaxed. Things would work out, it would be okay.
“Tell him I’m sorry for how I acted,” she said, cringing. “I didn’t know he was coming here to clear the air and all that.”
“He understands,” I said, patting her on the back as I led her out the door. “He was grateful I had someone taking care of me.”
“Oh my God, he’s just too perfect. And hot too,” Anna said, winking. “You found yourself a good baby daddy.”
“Oh hush,” I said, nudging her even further out the door. “If you don’t leave, I won’t get to call him tonight and--”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Anna said. “Please, call him and get his ass over here asap. You need some loving.”
“Anna-- you’re awful,” I said, chuckling. “Now go.”
Anna hurried out the door, and I looked around at my living room which was filled with all kinds of baby things now. Without knowing the sex of the babies, everyone stuck to the basics. Two car seats from my aunt, two bassinets from a couple girls I went to college with, and more diapers that I ever thought I’d need, but apparently, according to everyone I talked to, it might last me a week or so, at most.
I plopped down on my couch, a feeling of relief washing over me. I still had no idea how I’d maintain my job, but at least I wasn’t doing it alone anymore. Colin would be there to help support the baby. Anna would be there. The rest would work itself out.
Thinking of Colin, I decided to give him a call. Everything on me ached and I was exhausted, but I also couldn’t wait to talk to him more. I wasn’t sure where we were headed, but I trusted that he’d be there for his child at least. That was more than I could have ever hoped for.
I dialed his number, and he picked up right away.
“Oh good,” he teased. “I thought maybe you’d continue playing hard to get.”
I chuckled. “No more hard to get. I don’t think I’m up for the chase anymore. My feet are too swollen.”
“Yeah, are you feeling ok? Monitoring everything like you should be? How's work going?”
I cringed. “Yes Colin, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t know what I’m going to do about work though. I can’t travel to many of the popular summer destinations because of Zika, and well, to be honest, the idea of walking around anywhere hurts my back just thinking about it. So for now, I’m taking it easy and hoping to find something else.”
“Let me know if you need any help, Hope. I mean it. I want to support you and our child,” he said.
“Thank you, Colin. You have no idea how much of a relief it is to not be doing this alone anymore. I mean, I had Anna, but--”
“I get it,” he said. “It’s not the same.”
“Not at all,” I said, biting my lip.
I remembered the kiss in the hallway, the way he touched me, it was so nice. I wanted more of that. Maybe I was being naive, but I thought maybe this was it - maybe it was a sign that he was the o
ne for me. I never put much faith in things like that before, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to at least see where things went.
Baby steps, pun intended, of course. At least until we decided what we both want.
“Would you like to come over?” I asked. “I was thinking of putting in a movie and relaxing, I’d love some company.”
“I’d love to,” he said. “Want me to pick up something for dinner?”
I thought about all the food I’d tried to eat at my baby shower. Most of it came right back up. Still, I needed to try and keep something down.
“Sure,” I said. “Though I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep it down.”
“Ah, yes, poor thing. I’ll try to pick up something gentle on the tummy,” he said. “I’ll be right over.”
He hung up, and I was giddy like a schoolgirl being asked to the dance by her crush. I felt so silly. Never before had anyone made me feel the way he did, and yet, there I was, feeling like I was in heaven. I just prayed that feeling would last.
Ooo000ooo
“I come bearing food and other goodies,” Colin said, stepping into my apartment with bags of groceries. I couldn’t believe how much stuff he’d brought over. There was more than one night’s worth of food.
“What on earth? Did you buy out the entire grocery store?” I asked with a laugh.
“Nah, not even close,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you were stocked up on everything you’d need to combat the sickness and other symptoms of pregnancy.”
“Wow, so there are some benefits to having an obstetrician as the father of your children,” I said, laughing as I helped him unload the bags.
“I might know a thing or two about these things, yes,” he said with a wink. “For instance, you want to stick to somewhat bland foods. I picked up some crackers for you to stash beside your bed. It’s important to get something on your tummy first thing, but then get out of bed slowly, so give yourself plenty of time.”